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Mark Manson

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck Podcast

Self-help is supposed to, you know, help. But what if, sometimes, it actually makes things worse? In this episode, we take a hard look at the self-improvement industry that promises transformation but often sells little more than feel-good illusions. From outdated advice that preys on your insecurities to the dopamine hit of "life-changing" content that changes nothing, we break down why self-help often fails the people who need it most.

Along with unpacking the biggest traps of self-improvement, Drew and I also tackle whether or not minimalism was just an aesthetic rebellion against our parents’ McMansion dreams. We were both once staunch minimalists and we look back on what we learned and what principles still apply to our lives today. We wrap up with a listener question about the ethics of going to church if you’re an atheist. It’s another grab bag episode full of rabbit holes. Check it out.

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Chapters

00:00 Drew's legs are too short for his chair

00:40 The F*ck of the Week: Self-Help that doesn't help26:23 Brilliant or Bullshit: Minimalism43:05 Q&A: Is it ok for atheists/agnostics to go to church?

Theme song: Icarus Lives byPeriphery, used with permission from Periphery.

Snake Oil or Self-Help?, Minimalism’s Real Value, and Atheists Who Go to Church

Fear of failure isn’t really about failure—it’s about what failure means to us. We’re not scared of messing up; we’re scared of being judged, embarrassed, or proving our worst insecurities right. But the people who actually succeed at anything are the ones willing to suck at it long enough to get good. Today, we break down why failure feels so terrifying, how social comparison messes with our heads, and why the loudest critics are usually the ones who’ve never done a damn thing themselves. Tune in for some practical tips on overcoming all of this.

We also dig into the science of why boredom can spark better ideas, why our addiction to content might be making us less creative, and whether we should all do a digital detox before our brains turn into overstimulated mush. Finally, we wrap things up with a simple but profound question: If life is just an endless series of trade-offs, what are the best problems to have? Because problems never go away—you just get to level up to better ones.

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The Creative Benefits of Boredom: https://hbr.org/2014/09/the-creative-benefits-of-boredom

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Theme song: Icarus Lives by Periphery , used with permission from Periphery.

How to Fear Less, Spark More Creativity, and Choose Better Problems in Life

Today, we dive into the fascinating world of luck, risk, and how they shape our lives. We explore the delicate balance between playing it safe and taking chances, and why understanding this balance is crucial for personal growth. If you've ever wondered whether you're too cautious or not cautious enough, then strap in for this one.

We dig into the psychology of luck, examining how our perceptions influence our outcomes, and why taking calculated risks can lead to outsized returns. We also tackle the tough question of how to cope with life's inevitable hardships. Hopefully this gives you a fresh perspective on risk-taking and a new appreciation for the role of chance in your life.

Enjoy.

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0:00 Mark’s in the doghouse

2:44 The F*ck of the Week: Making Your Own Luck?

19:00 Brilliant or Bullsh*t: We should take more risk in life?

36:47 Q&A: How should you approach taking bigger risks?

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Theme song: Icarus Lives by @Periphery , used with permission from Periphery.

How to Get Lucky in Life and Take Smarter Risks

This week, we dive headfirst into the messy, uncomfortable topic of regret. From the aches and grays that come with hitting a new decade to the deeper realizations about relationships, selfish mistakes, and missed opportunities, we unpack how regret shapes who we are. And there's a twist: what if regret isn’t something to fear or avoid? What if it’s a tool for growth? I share my own stories of taking people for granted, self-destructive habits, and the lessons I’ve learned about self-forgiveness and choosing your regrets wisely.

We also tackle some fascinating questions about whether empathy is actually good for society. Is it always a good thing, or can it sometimes lead us astray? To round things off, we share our thoughts on AI and its impact on creativity and human connection.

Enjoy.

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Chapters

01:14 The F*ck of the Week: No Regrets?

19:36 Brilliant or Bullsh*t: Is Empathy Always a Good Thing?

40:45 Q&A: Is AI coming for us all?

Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: https://markmanson.net/breakthrough

Theme song: Icarus Lives by Periphery, used with permission from Periphery.

No Regrets, The Case Against Empathy, and Is AI Coming for Us All?

In this special New Year's episode of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck podcast, we dive into the perennial challenge of making meaningful changes in our lives. Rather than falling into the typical "new year, new you" trap that leads most people to abandon their resolutions by February, Drew and I explore a different approach to personal transformation. We share our own struggles with perfectionism, control, and finding purpose.

We also dig into some research about how evolution may have shaped our sense of purpose, the science of habit formation, and offer practical strategies for making lasting changes. Whether you're setting goals for the new year or just trying to build better habits, this episode will help you approach personal growth with more wisdom and less pressure in 2025. Enjoy.

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Theme song: Icarus Lives by Periphery, used with permission from Periphery.

How to Set Goals and Create Healthy Habits in 2025

Ever feel like culture’s splitting into countless micro-worlds where everyone’s just vibing to their own thing? In this episode, I introduce my theory on the "Jazzification of Everything." Drew and I dive into how our subcultures of music, entertainment, and even personal obsessions have evolved into these aging communities, totally detached from the cultural monocultures of the past. Whether it’s metal fans in their forties or electronic music lovers growing older with their favorite DJs, we explore how the media landscape and algorithms have encouraged us to stick to what we know—and why this shift could be both a gift and a curse.

We also dig into why “premium mediocre” is taking over our consumer habits, and whether or not that’s actually a bad thing. We discuss how these tiny, exclusive-seeming trends might be fooling us, offering superficial luxuries instead of anything truly valuable. We cap it off with a big question about whether chasing after anything is worth it, or if we’re just dooming ourselves to disappointment. Give it a listen. Enjoy.

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Chapters

00:00 Mark has a theory...
00:24 The F*ck of the Week: The Jazzification of Everything22:11 Brilliant or Bullsht: "Premium Mediocre"
38:03 Q&A: Why chase anything at all?

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Theme song: Icarus Lives by Periphery , used with permission from Periphery.

Breaking the Monoculture, the Rise of “Premium Mediocre”, and Choosing Your Suck

Today, I'm joined by my old friend Tim Urban, the mastermind behind the wildly popular blog Wait But Why. Known for his ability to break down complex topics with humor and stick-figure drawings, Tim has captured the attention of millions worldwide. From his early days as a blogger to the release of his first book, "What's Our Problem?: A Self-Help Book for Societies," Tim has consistently delivered thought-provoking content that challenges our understanding of the world around us.

In this episode, we dive into pressing issues like unfettered tribalism, the concept of "idea prisons," and the potential impact of AI on society. Tim also shares personal insights as a new parent and teases his upcoming book. It'll challenge your perspectives and leave you craving more of Tim's signature blend of depth, wit, and accessibility. Don't miss this captivating conversation that tackles the complexities of our modern world head-on.

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Tim’s blog: Wait, But Why?: https://waitbutwhy.com/

Tim’s book: What’s Our Problem: https://www.amazon.com/Whats-Our-Problem-Self-Help-Societies-ebook/dp/B0BTJCTR58

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Chapters

01:55 The virtue of changing your mind

05:31 What has Tim changed his mind about 

11:43 Are we on the other side of insanity yet?

18:05 How new media platforms shape culture

29:30 AI and tribalism

40:11 Internal and external wars

44:04 Tim on being a new parent

47:34 How Tim's views changed after having a kid

50:29 Tim's next book

Theme music: “Icarus Lives” by Periphery, used with permission from Periphery.

How to Take Back Your Own Mind (ft. Tim Urban)

Drew comes in hot today as we dig into the nitty gritty of confidence and motivation. We explore the counterintuitive idea that true confidence doesn't come from expecting success, but from being comfortable with failure. If you've ever struggled with self-doubt or felt demotivated despite external achievements, this episode might just change your perspective.

We start by dissecting what I call the "Confidence Conundrum" and how it applies to various aspects of life, from business to relationships. Then, we challenge some long-held beliefs about intrinsic and extrinsic motivation, discussing research that questions the idea that external rewards always undermine our natural interests. We wrap up with a thought-provoking exploration of Internal Family Systems theory and how understanding the different "parts" of our psyche can lead to greater self-integration. This is a grab bag episode that we had a lot of fun with, so I hope you enjoy it.

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Chapters:

00:00 Drew comes in hot
00:53 The F*ck of the Week: Confidence
21:55 Brilliant or Bullsh*t: Intrinsic vs Extrinsic Motivation
42:44 Q&A: What do you think of "parts work"?

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Theme song: Icarus Lives by Periphery , used with permission from Periphery.

Building Real Confidence, The Motivation Puzzle, and Understanding All Your “Parts”

Today, I sit down with Arthur Brooks, a renowned social scientist and happiness expert, for a deep dive into the realms of meaning, faith, and love. Our conversation takes unexpected turns as we explore the intersection of spirituality, psychology, and personal growth. From discussing the evolutionary roots of our search for meaning to examining the role of faith in modern life, this episode challenges conventional wisdom and offers fresh perspectives on age-old questions.

We cover a wide range of topics, including the importance of boredom in fostering creativity, the dangers of political activism as a substitute for religion, and the keys to a successful marriage. Arthur shares insights from his work with the Dalai Lama, explains why young men are increasingly turning to religion, and offers advice on finding meaning in a world dominated by technology. Whether you're grappling with questions of faith, seeking to understand the nature of love, or simply looking for ways to live a more fulfilling life, this conversation will leave you with plenty to ponder and explore further.

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Arthur’s latest book with Oprah Winfrey: Build the Life You Want: https://www.amazon.com/Build-Life-You-Want-Science-ebook/dp/B0C38FCTJC

All of Arthur’s books: https://www.amazon.com/stores/Arthur-C.-Brooks/author/B001HOU7RE

Arthur’s online workshop: https://www.scienceofhappier.com/

Arthur’s newsletter: https://arthurbrooks.com/newsletter

Arthur’s column in The Atlantic: https://www.theatlantic.com/projects/how-build-life/

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Chapters:

0:12 Arthur and Mark's failed music careers6:28 Trading meaning for acclaim11:41 How to live a more meaningful life19:28 Is finding meaning a 1st world problem?22:27 The role of religion and/or spirituality25:43 The meaning struggle for young men and women29:44 Is religion making a comeback?37:48 What's love got to do with it?45:12 The case for religious/spiritual practice49:58 Healthy forms of spirituality55:22 Dealing with toxic people59:52 Spotting the people who will bring you down1:02:44 Marriage and meaning

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Theme music: “Icarus Lives” by Periphery, used with permission from Periphery.

How to Build a Life Full of Meaning and Purpose (ft. Arthur Brooks)

Australia, you absolute legends. Back in November, I did a speaking tour across seven cities, talking to thousands of you about life, purpose, relationships, and why giving fewer fucks is the key to actually living a life you don’t hate.

We recorded some of the best Q&A moments to share with you here on the podcast. We diving into the big existential stuff—how to stop procrastinating, how to know if a relationship is right for you, and whether Australia’s ban on social media for kids is actually a good thing or not.

We’ll also talk about the brutal truth behind imposter syndrome, how to stop caring so much about what other people think, and one thing that actually helps you figure out what the hell you should be doing with your life. Plus, I’ll share some hard-earned wisdom on drinking, quitting, and why people stay in bad relationships way too long. So if you’ve ever felt stuck, lost, or just overwhelmed by the sheer absurdity of life, this one’s for you. Hit play and let’s get into it.

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Chapters

00:00 Mark goes down under

02:10 How do you discover what truly matters to you?
03:45 How can I stop procrastinating so much?
07:26 How do you deal with negative thoughts and feelings after a trauma?
09:39 How long should I wait on my "experiments" before I move on?
13:18 How do you deal with people who want you to tell you how to live your life?
14:36 What are some of the hardest things to give up?
16:43 What's your best advice on marriage?
19:40 Do you think we'll get back together?
22:12 Is society rewarding more and more bad behavior?
26:10 What are some tradeoffs that more people should do?
28:55 What can your books and content teach children?
31:57 How do you overcome imposter syndrome?
34:00 How to know if your relationship is good enough for you?
35:28 How can I deal with being overly empathetic and letting people walk all over me?
38:58 What do you think of the ban on kids using social media in Australia?
40:47 What's your advice for teenagers?
42:44 How do you overcome analysis paralysis?
44:38 How can you stop caring about other people's opinions so much?
46:56 How can we be more relevant in the AI future?
49:20 Why are so many good people not happy?
51:46 How do you go about finding your purpose in life?
54:38 What should I do if I'm focused too much on other people's problems instead of my own (codependency)?
57:42 How do continue to overcome failure after failure?
1:00:32 How can I find motivation to do anything when the world is so f*cked?
1:04:15 How can we more fully face death, grief, and loss?

Theme song: Icarus Lives by Periphery , used with permission from Periphery.

Ask Mark Anything: Live from Australia

Some of the most important truths in life are found in paradoxes. Paradoxes seem like opposites on the surface, but once you look deeper beneath what are seeming contradictions, there are real grains of wisdom that emerge.

In this episode, I cover some of the most life-changing paradoxes I’ve ever come across, and discuss how they can improve how you approach your life.

7 Paradoxes That Will Change How You See Everything

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