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Cloud10

Look... every couple struggles. You fight too much; you're bored; sex is either okay (or rare); maybe you're even considering divorce. OR... maybe your marriage is actually pretty good, but you want to go deeper. In this podcast, straight-talking marriage therapist Zach Brittle tackle the most common complaints virtually every marriage experience. Along the way, they reveal the science behind strong relationships and talk about what's really going on for couples. Topics include conflict, communication, compatibility, money, sex, in-laws, infidelity, time-management, future dreams, and more. If you want relief? A deeper connection? A new way forward...? Then you've got to find out what's REALLY going on in your marriage. That's what this podcast is about. You can learn more about Zach, and his alternatives to traditional therapy at marriagetherapyradio.com.

Marriage Therapy Radio

Zach talks with Sarah Rhoades and her boyfriend Grady, a young couple navigating the first year of their relationship. They share how a chance meeting at Grady’s backyard open mic, where he held a microphone for Sarah’s banjo, turned into an unexpected connection built on shared values, openness, and adventure.

Sarah and Grady reflect on blending friend groups, learning from divorced parents, and building a “tree trunk” foundation strong enough to handle differences in interests. They discuss the balance between independence and togetherness, the role of transparency, and their approach to the looming challenge of Sarah heading to college. With humor and thoughtfulness, they explore what it means to be intentional about connection, no matter your age.

 
Shared values beat shared hobbies: They connect on deeper principles and character rather than just liking the same activities.

 
Integration matters: Early on, they made intentional efforts to include each other in separate friend groups, creating a unified social circle.

 
Independence strengthens the unit: Inspired by Sarah’s grandparents, they value being able to live individual lives while staying connected as a couple.

 
Radical honesty as a reaction to secrecy: Grady’s experience with passive-aggressive family dynamics led him to favor openness and directness.

 
Parents notice the positive impact: Both sets of parents appreciate how the relationship brings out the best in them.

 
Facing change together: They’re preparing for the shift when Sarah leaves for college, focusing on communication and balance over fear.

 
Resisting cultural shortcuts: Despite living in a hookup culture, they see commitment as natural once you find the right person.

Sarah RhoadesA recent high school graduate and musician, Sarah plays banjo and values independence, adventure, and intentional connection.

GradyA high school senior who runs a backyard open mic, Grady brings openness, curiosity, and a commitment to honesty into the relationship.

Key TakeawaysGuest Info

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Ep 385 Young Loves, Strong Roots

Zach sits down with Billy and Melissa Hofacker, parents of five, homeschoolers, entrepreneurs, and deeply intentional partners. They share how their relationship evolved from survival mode to something they both now call a “ten.”

Through structured connection points like weekly date nights and monthly marriage meetings, the Hofackers have built a resilient, emotionally intelligent partnership. Melissa opens up about postpartum struggles and therapy breakthroughs, while Billy shares how a health scare became a wake-up call for spiritual and emotional growth. From their faith journey to Jiu Jitsu metaphors, the Hofackers offer a practical and heartfelt look at what it takes to grow together over decades, not days.

Key Takeaways

 
“Ten” doesn’t mean perfect; it means committed: Even with five young kids and busy schedules, Billy and Melissa see their marriage as a ten because of the consistent work and shared mindset they bring to it.

 
Systems build connection: Weekly date nights, monthly family and marriage meetings, and Sunday listening sessions help them stay aligned and emotionally available.

 
Initiating connection is a skill: Melissa learned to lead with vulnerability instead of waiting for Billy to go first, transforming the emotional tone of their marriage.

 
Transformation starts within: Billy’s health scare sparked personal growth that made him a more emotionally present husband and father.

 
Faith goes deeper when life gets harder: Their spiritual path moved beyond habits and routines into intimate, soul-stretching territory, especially in moments of crisis.

 
Jiu Jitsu shaped Billy’s identity: He credits the discipline, humility, and emotional control he learned on the mat with strengthening his role in the marriage.

Guest Info

Billy Hofacker
Entrepreneur, host of the Your Fitness Money Coach podcast, and Brazilian jiu-jitsu black belt, Billy helps service-based business owners grow profitably through yourfitnessmoneycoach.com. His blend of structure, discipline, and humor brings strength to both his work and his marriage.

Melissa Hofacker
Homeschooling mom of five and Billy’s partner in transformation, Melissa brings spiritual depth, emotional intelligence, and candid reflection. Raised in a pastor’s home, she’s forged a personal path of healing and connection grounded in faith and honesty.
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Ep 384 "Intention" instead of "in tension" with Billy and Melissa Hokacker

Zach sits down with his mother Joe and his stepfather Otis to explore their journey from painful pasts to a peaceful present.

Joe and Otis reflect on their “practice marriages,” the controlling dynamics they each endured, and the moment they realized they wanted something different. They share how a foundation of friendship, autonomy, and mutual respect became the bedrock of their 25-year relationship. From non-dating to dancing, from beach trips with girlfriends to golf trips alone, Joe and Otis have built a partnership that celebrates individuality and shared joy.

You’ll hear about Otis’s journey of temper management, Joe’s reclaiming of personal agency, and the subtle, intentional kindness that keeps their love strong, despite physical pain, aging bodies, and the trials of real life.

Key Takeaways

 
There’s life after divorce—and it might be the better lifeBoth Joe and Otis came from long, controlling marriages. Their second partnership, formed later in life, is more respectful, equal, and full of joy.

 
Friendship is the foundationTheir relationship began as school colleagues and friends, then grew over time into something deeper, supported by laughter, shared values, and trust.

 
Kindness is the cornerstoneOtis says the best description of their marriage is that they’ve “learned to be very kind to one another.”

 
The five-minute anger rule worksOtis, who struggled with rage in his youth, now uses a strategy where he’s allowed to be mad for five minutes, then lets it go. Joe even sets a timer.

 
Agency mattersJoe talks about finally being able to “be herself” in this marriage, without fear, control, or pressure. Otis’s calm, non-controlling nature allows her space to thrive.

 
Caregiving is mutual and meaningfulAs they age, they care for each other with intention and grace. Joe says she always knew Otis would take care of her, and she’s glad to do the same.

Guest Info

JoeZach’s mom.

OtisZach’s stepdad and former high school gym teacher.

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Ep 383 Zach's Mom and Stepdad Share their Second Marriage Journey

Zach sits down with Monica Tanner—coach, podcast host, and author of Bad Marriage Advice—and her husband Ben, a self-proclaimed private “civilian.” Together, they share how their 23-year marriage has evolved from survival mode to a deeply intentional partnership.

The conversation moves from parenting young adults to debunking cliché marriage advice like “don’t go to bed angry” and “happy wife, happy life.” Monica opens up about abandonment wounds, anxiety, and the healing that came through personal work and communication. Ben offers a grounded perspective on emotional processing, individual growth, and learning how to show up with humility and humor.

Whether you're the fixer or the withdrawer in conflict, this episode offers insight into how couples can grow together by getting curious, staying patient, and prioritizing mutual respect.

Key Takeaways

 
Bad marriage advice lingers—until you replace it with something better
Monica and Ben describe how the phrase “don’t go to bed angry” caused years of unnecessary distress until they found a compassionate workaround that honored both their needs.

 
Self-work strengthens the marriage
Ben emphasizes how personal growth—working on his patience and emotional regulation—helped him become a better partner.

 
Conflict patterns are rooted in the past
Monica shares how her abandonment trauma shaped her reactions in marriage, and how learning to identify and express her emotions helped them both grow.

 
Intentionality transformed their relationship
A moment of debilitating anxiety marked a turning point for Monica, leading her to redefine how she showed up in her family and marriage.

 
Fun, friendship, and physical activity keep them connected
From daily walks to travel adventures, Monica and Ben prioritize shared time, conversation, and experiences as cornerstones of their relationship.

Guest Info

Monica Tanner
Relationship coach, podcast host, and author of the upcoming book Bad Marriage Advice. https://www.monicatanner.com/ 

Ben Tanner
Entrepreneur.

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Ep 382 Bad Advice, Good Marriage with Monica and Ben

Zach connects with listeners Paul and Symone during a road trip break near Austin. Speaking candidly from the front seat of their car, they reflect on their blended family, the nuances of a 20-year age gap, and the emotional work of learning to love each other's children.

As Paul and Symone navigate the complexities of second marriages, they share how gardening becomes their safe zone, how compassion becomes their compass, and how front porch conversations turn into moments of healing. With honesty and warmth, they unpack what it means to stay connected—even when it’s hard—and how legacy, curiosity, and forgiveness shape their evolving partnership.

Key Takeaways

 
Gardening is their neutral groundPaul and Symone use time in the yard to reconnect, calm conflict, and remind each other they’re on the same team.

 
Blended families are complex and require graceSymone opens up about the challenges of bonding with a stepchild, while Paul reflects on the tension of balancing empathy between partners and exes.

 
Compassion builds connectionThey describe compassion as an effort to understand without assigning blame—a shared value that anchors their relationship.

 
The front porch is for growthOne-on-one talks with Jacob, Paul’s son, often happen on the porch, where Symone finds space to show up as a gentle counselor.

 
Curiosity over certaintyThey agree that leading with curiosity—about each other, their triggers, and their kids—invites growth more than judgment ever could.

Guest Info

 
PaulA behavior specialist and elementary school teacher, Paul brings his social-emotional learning work into his family life. 

 
SymoneSymone is a school administrator, teacher, and mom navigating the second chapter of marriage with curiosity and intensity.

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Ep 381 Roadtrip Real Talk

Zach sits down with Anna Rahe, fascia expert and founder of Genius of Flexibility, and her husband Daniel for an honest, layered conversation about what it looks like to “raise the grade” in a long-term partnership.

As Anna and Daniel explore the habits they’re unlearning—and the ones they’re trying to reinforce—they reflect on the small ways they grade their relationship, how conflict becomes a chance to build trust, and why staying curious about each other matters more than winning any argument. You’ll hear how their somatic awareness, emotional mismatches, and willingness to slow down help them stretch not just their bodies, but their capacity for connection.

Key Takeaways

 
The grade you give your relationship changes
Anna reflects on how her internal scorecard has shifted over time.

 
Repair is a practice, not a performance
Daniel shares that real progress means learning not to rush to a fix but to create space for the process.

 
“Holding space” takes effort and awareness
Instead of stepping in to fix things, Daniel is learning to simply stay present and supportive.

 
Curiosity beats control
Both agree that asking, “What’s going on for you?” opens more connection than trying to solve or control.

Guest Info

Anna Rahe
Founder of Genius of Flexibility, Anna Rahe is an educator, somatic practitioner, and fascia expert dedicated to helping people unlock emotional and physical healing through the body’s connective tissue. Her work has appeared in Goop, Vogue, and TEDx.

Daniel
Daniel is Anna’s husband and partner in the slow, intentional work of emotional growth. His grounded presence, self-awareness, and reflections on support and repair add depth and relatability to this episode.

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Ep 380 Raising the Grade with Anne Rahe and Daniel

Zach sits down with couple Victoria Shalet and Adam James for a thoughtful and honest conversation about navigating the complexities of partnership. Drawing from their experiences in psychotherapy and performance, they unpack how their personal and professional worlds inform the way they connect, communicate, and occasionally clash.

Through light banter and open reflection, they explore moments of conflict, the importance of language in de-escalating tension, and the ways in which curiosity and humor keep them grounded. The episode offers listeners a window into a real, evolving relationship—complete with vulnerability, insight, and a shared desire to do better.

Key Takeaways

 
Words carry emotional weightReplacing phrases like “that’s crazy” with “that’s surprising” can reduce defensiveness and create more space for empathy.

 
Curiosity is a relationship strengthBeing able to ask your partner, “What’s really going on here?” rather than jumping to conclusions can keep you connected even in disagreement.

 
Repair isn’t a performanceWhat matters most is showing up after a rupture and trying again, not always getting it perfect in the moment.

 
Therapy and acting intersectUnderstanding roles, scripts, and self-reflection can enrich how we navigate relational dynamics—but they don’t make us immune to the mess.

 
Laughter lightens the loadHumor isn’t just a relief valve—it’s a tool for staying close during tough conversations.

Guest Info

Victoria ShaletA former actor turned psychotherapist, Victoria now works with clients to build emotional resilience and deeper self-awareness. Her therapeutic lens brings nuance and reflection to how she shows up in her relationship. Learn more at spaceinme.com.

Adam JamesAdam is a seasoned British actor with credits across television, theatre, and film, including roles in Doctor Foster, I May Destroy You, and Belgravia. His insight into communication, presence, and emotional fluency offers a unique complement to his partner’s therapeutic perspective. View his work at IMDb.

Key Takeaways Guest Info

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Ep 379 Emotional Fluency, Acting, and Getting It Wrong Sometimes with Victoria Shalet and Adam James

Zach is joined again by clinical and forensic psychologist Dr. Shannon Curry for a direct and thoughtful exploration of how language shapes conflict in relationships. Together, they dissect common but often misused terms like “narcissist,” “gaslighting,” and “codependent,” highlighting the real harm that can come from assigning labels without clear definitions or clinical backing.

Shannon brings clarity and nuance to a conversation that many couples face in therapy: how do you talk about what’s not working without turning your partner into a diagnosis? They explore why describing behavior—not assigning blame—builds trust and forward movement. The conversation also touches on the research around what actually predicts relationship success and how couples can stay grounded in hope and creativity, even in difficult seasons.

Key Takeaways

 
The problem with labelingTerms like “narcissist” and “gaslighter” are frequently misapplied. 

 
Talk about behavior, not pathologyYou don’t need a diagnosis to identify harmful or unhelpful dynamics. Focusing on specific behaviors allows for clarity and change.

 
The traits that actually matterZach discusses the importance of approaching our relationship with hope and creativity.

Guest Info

Dr. Shannon CurryDr. Curry is a clinical and forensic psychologist with advanced training in trauma therapy, couples counseling, and high-conflict relational dynamics. She is the founder of the Curry Psychology Group, a team-based mental health practice in Southern California. Shannon is known for her clarity, compassion, and expertise in both therapeutic and legal settings.

 
Website: currypsychgroup.com

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Ep 378 When Labels Hurt More Than They Help - Dr. Shannon Curry

Zach continues his conversation with clinical psychologist Dr. Shannon Curry for a vulnerable and intellectually engaging conversation that blends personal storytelling, relationship science, and unexpected insight. Shannon opens up about how her own relationship defied her expectations, thanks to what she learned from psychologist Tai Tashiro’s research on the three personality traits that lead to lasting happiness.

They dive into what it means to choose a partner based on substance over spark, how grief and trauma can shape family planning decisions, and why admiration—not just chemistry—can sustain love. Shannon also shares her deeply personal journey of caring for her father through dementia and how it’s connected to her professional values and sense of purpose.

This episode is rich with real-life honesty, expert-backed wisdom, and the kind of reflective conversation that stays with you long after the final minute.

Key Takeaways

 
The Three Relationship Traits That Matter Most: According to Tai Tashiro’s research, conscientiousness, low neuroticism, and moderate adventurousness are better predictors of lasting relationship satisfaction than looks or wealth.

 
Choosing the Right Kind of Chemistry: True intimacy often comes from admiration and emotional safety, not physical attraction alone.

 
Love Without Children: Shannon shares why she and her husband Ty are "childless by choice" and how past grief shaped that decision.

 
Caregiving as Sacred Work: Shannon reflects on caring for her father through dementia and how her training as a psychologist helps her meet his needs with dignity and compassion.

 
Letting Go of the Checklist: Her personal love story challenges societal norms around partner selection and encourages listeners to rethink what really leads to long-term happiness.

Guest Info

Dr. Shannon Curry

 Clinical and forensic psychologist

 Founder of Curry Psychology Group

 Certified in the Gottman Method

 High-profile expert witness and advocate for healthy relationships

 @currypsychgroup on Instagram

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Ep 377 Three Traits That Predict Relationship Happiness - Dr. Shannon Curry

Zach sits down with Dr. Shannon Curry—clinical psychologist, couples therapist, and founder of the Curry Psychology Group—for a nuanced discussion about what happens when couples “team up” against their therapist in session. Drawing on her forensic background and deep clinical insight, Shannon explores the subtle dynamics of triangulation, conflict avoidance, and the emotional strategies people learn early in life to stay safe in relationships.

Together, Zach and Shannon talk about how the therapeutic space can trigger old wounds, what it takes to speak hard truths in love, and why being emotionally honest is often the most generous thing a partner can do. With warmth, curiosity, and real-life anecdotes, this episode speaks directly to the complexity of partnership—and the courage it takes to grow within one.

Key Takeaways

 
When Couples Turn on the TherapistShannon shares how one partner will sometimes rush to “protect” the other during difficult feedback, forming an unconscious alliance that derails growth—and puts the therapist in the role of the enemy.

 
Emotional Manipulation as a Survival StrategyMany clients learn passive or controlling behaviors in childhood because direct expression wasn’t safe. These aren’t character flaws—they’re adaptive tools that once worked.

 
Conflict as a MirrorThe messiest moments in therapy often reflect old attachment wounds. Shannon emphasizes that when conflict emerges in session, it's not a sign of failure—it’s a signal of something important beneath the surface.

 
The Generosity of TruthZach proposes a compelling reframe: that emotional honesty—even when it’s uncomfortable—is a gift of generosity in relationships. Shannon agrees, calling truth-telling a spiritual value in her work.

 
The Truth Will Set You Free... EventuallySometimes growth hurts. Shannon shares a quote from her boarding school that sticks with her: “The truth will set you free—but first it will make you miserable.”

Guest Info

Dr. Shannon Curry

 
Clinical and forensic psychologist

 
Founder of Curry Psychology Group

 
Certified in the Gottman Method

 
High-profile expert witness and advocate for healthy relationships

 
@currypsychgroup on Instagram

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Ep 377 Three Traits That Predict Relationship Happiness - Dr. Shannon Curry

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