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Lyt når som helst, hvor som helst 

Dave Stachowiak

Leaders aren’t born; they’re made. Many leaders reach points in their careers where what worked yesterday doesn’t work today. This Monday show helps leaders thrive at these key inflection points. Independently produced weekly since 2011, Dr. Dave Stachowiak shares insights from a decade of leading a global leadership academy, plus more than 15 years of leadership at Dale Carnegie. Bestselling authors, proven leaders, expert thinkers, and deep conversation have attracted 50 million downloads and over 300,000 followers. Join the FREE membership to search the entire leadership and management library by topic at CoachingforLeaders.com

Coaching for Leaders

David Epstein: Inside the Box

David Epstein is the author of the #1 New York Times bestseller Range and The Sports Gene, both of which have been translated into more than 30 languages. He was previously the host of Slate‘s popular “How To!” podcast and a science and investigative reporter at ProPublica. His TED talks have been viewed more than 12 million times. His newest book is also a New York Times bestseller: Inside the Box: How Constraints Make Us Better (Amazon, Bookshop)*.

It seems like we should be the most focused, creative, and innovative when we are the freest to do whatever we want. Turns out, it’s pretty much the exact opposite. In this conversation, David and I discuss why constraints make all the difference.

Key Points

 • Myth: we are most creative and innovative when we are most free. In fact, it’s the opposite.

 • Given complete freedom, we tend to follow the path of least resistance. The Einstellung effect: employing only familiar methods even if better ones are available.

 • General Magic (the most important technology company that nobody’s ever heard of) had virtually no constraints and ultimately produced nothing.

 • Write down hypotheses and make commitments visible before you begin. Give people agency in creating constraints.

 • If your organization or team was being handed off to someone else tomorrow, what’s the first thing the new leader would change? Consider making that change now.

 • To avoid over-indexing on constraints, ask this question: “Could I still surprise myself?”

Resources Mentioned

Inside the Box: How Constraints Make Us Better • by David Epstein (
Amazon • , 
Bookshop • )*

Interview Notes

Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).

Related Episodes

How to Transform Your Limitations Into Advantages, with Mark Barden • (episode 207)

Help Your Brain Learn, with Lisa Feldman Barrett • (episode 513)

Get People Reading What You’re Sending, with Todd Rogers • (episode 666)

Discover More

Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

789: The Counterintuitive Secret to Creativity and Focus, with David Epstein

Leanne ten Brinke: Poisonous People

Leanne ten Brinke is an Associate Professor at the University of British Columbia, where she directs the Truth and Trust Lab. Her research investigates trust, deception, and dark personality traits across diverse populations—from incarcerated individuals to hedge fund managers and politicians. She reveals how dark personality traits shape our institutions and relationships, while offering practical strategies to recognize and counteract their harmful influence. Her book is titled Poisonous People: How to Resist Them and Improve Your Life (Amazon, Bookshop)*.

If you are a leader, you are going to deal with poisonous people. Sometimes they will show up as clients, sometimes your boss, sometimes your peers, and sometimes the people you manage. Regardless of where they show up, this conversation with Leanne will help you handle this tough dynamic.

Key Points

 • Dark traits exist on a spectrum. While only 1% of the population rises to a clinical level of psychopathology, 10-20% of the population has a dark personality profile.

 • There are many more people with psychopathy per capita in senior management positions than in the general population.

 • Poisonous people generally aren’t interested in shifting their personality. As such, you will not change them. Given that reality, aim to better manage the relationship.

 • Establish clear boundaries with poisonous people and put things in writing you might normally assume. Dark personalities are really good at exploiting unspoken norms.

 • Find ways to create win-wins with poisonous people. They don’t do well with trade-offs, because they don’t like to lose anything.

 • Avoid face-to-face negotiations with them. Their charm and charisma will win you over in the moment. Text-based dialogue will help you objectively negotiate better.

 • Use the carrot instead of the stick. Reward good behavior when it happens (just not by giving them power over others).

Resources Mentioned

Poisonous People: How to Resist Them and Improve Your Life • by Leanne ten Brinke (
Amazon • , 
Bookshop • )*

Interview Notes

Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).

Related Episodes

How to Handle a Boss Who’s a Jerk, with Tom Henschel • (episode 164)

How to Start Better With Peers, with Michael Bungay Stanier • (episode 635)

How to Show Up Authentically in Tough Situations, with Andrew Brodsky • (episode 727)

Discover More

Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

788: How to Work with Poisonous People, with Leanne ten Brinke

Chris Duffy: Humor Me

Chris Duffy is an award-winning podcaster, comedian, and television writer. He hosts the podcast How to Be a Better Human and you can find his comedic TED talk, “How to find laughter anywhere” online. He is the author of Humor Me: How Laughing More Can Make You Present, Creative, Connected, and Happy (Amazon, Bookshop)*.

It sometimes seems like someone with a good sense of humor does everything a bit better. Perhaps leadership is no different – but it’s not about landing jokes. In this episode, Chris and I explore why everyday humor is all about paying attention and generosity.

Key Points

 • Humor might not make the list of top leadership competencies, but it helps you perform every other competency better.

 • A good sense of humor is inherently generous.

 • Effective humor isn’t landing the perfect joke or being the center of attention. It’s noticing the humor is everyday work and bravely calling attention to it.

 • The first pillar of cultivating humor is simply being present.

 • Start with times you are least present and most zoned out. Zero in with a “new bathroom” frame of mind.

 • Celebrate the bad stuff and find humor in it. By doing so, you inherently help people appreciate excellence.

Resources Mentioned

Humor Me: How Laughing More Can Make You Present, Creative, Connected, and Happy • by Chris Duffy (
Amazon • , 
Bookshop • )*

Interview Notes

Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).

Related Episodes

How to Engage With Humor, with David Nihill • (episode 235)

Get Better at Deep Listening, with Oscar Trimboli • (episode 408)

How to Genuinely Show Up for Others, with Marshall Goldsmith • (episode 590)

Discover More

Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

787: Better Leadership Through Humor, with Chris Duffy

Phil Le-Brun: The Octopus Organization

Phil Le-Brun is an executive in residence at Amazon Web Services and a former corporate VP and international CIO at the McDonald’s Corporation. He is a sought-after speaker and has been featured in Harvard Business Review, The Wall Street Journal, and The Guardian. He is the co-author with Jana Werner of The Octopus Organization: A Guide to Thriving in a World of Continuous Transformation (Amazon, Bookshop)*.

Most of us have gone through some version of a reorg. A lot of leaders have also implemented their own reorgs. Sometimes they work. Many times, they don’t. In this conversation, Phil and I discuss what goes wrong with reorgs and how we can do better.

Key Points

 • Organizations traditionally looked like the tin man from 
The Wizard of Oz: • perfectly planned, many interchangeable parts, not flexible.

 • An octopus organization adapts, works independently to serve the larger whole, and is innately curious.

 • A reorg that starts with an org chart misses the complex organic connections you are unlikely to fully understand.

 • Prioritize structural stability while building internal flexibility.

 • Nurture the complex informal human networks that deliver value.

 • Be honest about objectives and communicate a reorg early.

 • Engage people by starting with smaller-scale change. Clarify the problem to be solved instead of the structural “answer.”

Resources Mentioned

The Octopus Organization: A Guide to Thriving in a World of Continuous Transformation • by Phil Le-Brun and Jana Werner (
Amazon • , 
Bookshop • )*

Interview Notes

Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).

Related Episodes

How to Get the Ideal Team Player, with Patrick Lencioni • (episode 301)

How to Approach a Reorg, with Claire Hughes Johnson • (episode 621)

How to Help Employees Handle Tough Moments, with Anthony Klotz • (episode 777)

Discover More

Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

786: The Problem with Reorgs and How to Do Better, with Phil Le-Brun

Liane Davey: Thoughtload

For the past 25 years, Liane Davey has researched and advised teams on how to achieve high performance. She is the author of You First and The Good Fight and is a regular contributor to Harvard Business Review. She is the author of the new book Thoughtload: Manage the Madness and Free Your Team to Do Great Work (Amazon, Bookshop)*.

We all love to hate our task lists. However, we can do a lot better with just a bit of strategy. In this conversation, Liane and I explore how to make our task list work for us instead of against us.

Key Points

 • Often it’s not really the workload that’s crushing – it’s more so the thinking about all the workload. That’s what thoughtload is.

 • The problem with a to-do list is that everything goes on it. Thus, to-do lists are terrible for managing your attention.

 • Instead of one task list, keep a limited amount of tasks on three priority lists.

 • Category 1 list: your most important outputs and outcomes.

 • Category 2 list: what you do to help others achieve their most significant outcomes.

 • Category 3 list: administrative stuff.

Four questions determine what gets on your lists:

 • Important (an activity that will add value to a key output or outcome)?

 • Urgent (something with growing negative consequences if you wait)?

 • Targeted (a task that no one can do as efficiently or effectively as you)?

 • Essential (core to creating the critical value, not just a nice-to-have)?

Resources Mentioned

Thoughtload: Manage the Madness and Free Your Team to Do Great Work • by Liane Davey (
Amazon • , 
Bookshop • )*

Interview Notes

Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).

Related Episodes

The Scientific Secrets of Daily Scheduling, with Daniel Pink • (episode 332)

Align Your Calendar to What Matters, with Nir Eyal • (episode 431)

How to Take Back Your Evenings, with Guy Winch • (episode 783)

Discover More

Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

785: Make Your Task List Work for You, with Liane Davey

Eric Ries: Incorruptible

Eric Ries is the creator of the Lean Startup method, and the author of the New York Times bestseller The Lean Startup, The Leader’s Guide, and The Startup Way. Over the last two decades, his ideas about continuous innovation, long-term thinking, governance, and market reform have reshaped company building and management practices. He is the author of Incorruptible: Why Good Companies Go Bad…and How Great Companies Stay Great (Amazon, Bookshop)*.

If you build a great organization, the predators will come. With the right principles in place, not only can you protect what you love, but help many people flourish because of it. In this conversation, Eric and I show you exactly where to start.

Key Points

 • Most leaders are one acquisition, one IPO, one board meeting away from seeing something they love turn into something they hate.

 • If you build something great, they will come. The “they” are the predators who are willing to kill the golden goose.

 • Financial gravity is the force no one controls but everyone obeys. Appreciating its realities and laws will help you build stronger.

 • Rather than framing profit as good or bad, define profit as how you contribute to human flourishing.

 • Harder is easier. Rather than viewing principles as a burden, the best leaders see principles as opportunities.

 • Design the business model so the organization prospers only via mission attainment.

Resources Mentioned

Incorruptible: Why Good Companies Go Bad…and How Great Companies Stay Great • by Eric Ries (
Amazon • , 
Bookshop • )*

Interview Notes

Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).

Related Episodes

Doing Better Than Zero-Sum Thinking, with Renée Mauborgne • (episode 641)

Crafting the Modern Business Plan, with Seth Godin • (episode 704)

Notice Disruption and Innovate Through It, with Steve Blank • (episode 761)

Discover More

Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

784: How to Protect the Organization You Love, with Eric Ries

Guy Winch: Mind Over Grind

Guy Winch is a psychologist and bestselling author who advocates for integrating the science of emotional health into our daily lives. His TED talks have attracted over 35 million views, and his books have been translated into more than 30 languages. He is co-host of the Ambie-nominated Dear Therapists podcast and the author of the book Mind Over Grind: How to Break Free When Work Hijacks Your Life (Amazon, Bookshop)*.

Some of our parents got to work in the morning, put in a full day, and then by dinner time, didn’t think about work or do it until the next morning. That’s not reality for a lot of us today, so in this conversation, Guy and I explore what you can do to take back your evenings.

Key Points

 • Most work stress isn’t experienced at work.

 • Healthy thinking is intentional and leads us somewhere useful. Unhealthy thinking (rumination) isn’t intentional and tends to repeat the same script. It feels more like unpaid work.

 • To interrupt rumination outside of work, first label it and then associate it with disgust, disdain, and annoyance. Treat it like you would a skunk sitting next to you on the couch.

 • Rituals help our brains make a distinction between time to work and time to recover. Rituals are most powerful when they invoke one or more of our five senses to signal a shift to our brains.

 • Often we think of relaxation and recovery the same way our grandparents did who often did more manual work. Work today tends to be more mental and emotional, so indexing on ways to engage physically during recovery times is helpful.

 • Rather than just assuming that doing nothing, sitting on a beach, or seeing the sights is the best vacation, consider engaging in the things you love that you normally don’t get to do.

Resources Mentioned

Mind Over Grind: How to Break Free When Work Hijacks Your Life • by Guy Winch (
Amazon • , 
Bookshop • )*

Interview Notes

Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).

Related Episodes

Align Your Calendar to What Matters, with Nir Eyal • (episode 431)

What to Do With Your Feelings, with Lori Gottlieb • (episode 438)

How High Achievers Begin to Find Balance, with Michael Hyatt • (episode 522)

Discover More

Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

783: How to Take Back Your Evenings, with Guy Winch

Gustavo Razzetti: Forward Talk

Gustavo Razzetti is a culture change instigator, speaker, and CEO of Fearless Culture, a culture design consultancy. He helps leaders build teams that talk about what matters—even when it’s uncomfortable–through his books and tools, including the Culture Design Canvas. He is the author of Forward Talk: The Bold New Method for Getting Teams Unstuck (Amazon, Bookshop)*.

The beauty of a team is that we can get so much more done with collaboration. It also means that sometimes we surrender our responsibility to others. In this conversation, Gustavo and I explore what to do when a team gets stuck.

Key Points

 • Conversations are the foundation of collaboration. Without them, teams quickly build conversational debt.

 • We don’t stay silent because we’re scared. Rather, we stay quiet because we surrender our responsibility to others.

 • Many of us overestimate our courage. We believe that we’ll say something, but studies show that often we do not.

 • Forward Talk accomplishes two things: (1) addresses the real issue and (2) focuses on the future.

 • See information as an opportunity instead of an obstacle. Courage can begin with admitting what you don’t know.

 • Perspective is the choice to share your views instead of surrendering your judgment to social pressure.

 • Responsibility is a commitment to understand the systemic issues instead of entering into blame.

Resources Mentioned

Forward Talk: The Bold New Method for Getting Teams Unstuck • by Gustavo Razzetti (
Amazon • , 
Bookshop • )*

Interview Notes

Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).

Related Episodes

Getting Better at Internal Communication, with Roy Schwartz • (episode 687)

Help Your Team Coach Each Other, with Keith Ferrazzi • (episode 709)

What Really Matters for Team Success, with Colin Fisher • (episode 748)

Discover More

Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

782: How to Help a Team Get Unstuck, with Gustavo Razzetti

Bonni Stachowiak: Teaching in Higher Ed

Bonni is the host of the Teaching in Higher Ed podcast, Dean of Teaching and Learning and Professor of Business and Management at Vanguard University, and my life partner. Prior to her academic career, she was a human resources consultant and executive officer for a publicly traded company. Bonni is the author of The Productive Online and Offline Professor: A Practical Guide (Amazon, Bookshop)*.

In this reflection episode, Bonni and I look back on recent past episodes and discuss questions, feedback, and insights that have surfaced from recent conversations.

Key Points

Dave responded to this question from Margaret Andrews:

 • What does success look like for you?

“You can have everything in life you want if you’ll just help enough other people get what they want.” -Zig Ziglar

“Success is the progressive realization of a worthy ideal.” -Earl Nightingale

Bonni responded to this question:

 • What feedback have you received over the years about how your actions and behaviors impact others?

Resources Mentioned

To be of use • by Marge Piercy

Related Episodes

How to Get Way Better at Accepting Feedback, with Sheila Heen • (episode 143)

Six Questions Every Leader Should Ask Themselves, with Margaret Andrews • (episode 750)

How to Lead a Meaningful Cultural Shift, with David Hutchens • (episode 755)

Discover More

Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

781: Bonni and Dave Reflect on Recent Episodes

Shirzad Chamine: Positive Intelligence

Shirzad has been the CEO of the largest coach training organization in the world. He has lectured on Positive Intelligence at Stanford University and has trained faculty at Stanford and Yale business schools. He is the author of The New York Times bestseller Positive Intelligence: Why Only 20% of Teams and Individuals Achieve Their True Potential and How You Can Achieve Yours (Amazon, Bookshop)*.

By overusing our strengths, they can become our weakness. It’s just one of the many ways that leaders self-sabotage. In this conversation, Shirzad and I explore how to shift from self-sabotage to self-mastery.

Key Points

Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them. -Henry David Thoreau

 • We are all a mixed bag of Darth Vader (saboteur) and Jedi knight (sage).

 • By overusing a strength, you turn it into a weakness.

 • Rather than attempting to eliminate all our saboteurs, it’s more helpful to be intentional about quieting them down.

 • The four most common saboteurs that show up for leaders are Controller, Stickler, Hyper Achiever, Hyper Rational.

 • Sage perspective: Every outcome or circumstance can be turned into an opportunity.

 • A 10-second brain shift can help quiet your mind and engage the sage. One way to do this is to rub your fingers together and notice the friction to get your mind out of autopilot.

Resources Mentioned

Positive Intelligence: Why Only 20% of Teams and Individuals Achieve Their True Potential and How You Can Achieve Yours • by Shirzad Chamine (
Amazon • , 
Bookshop • )*

Saboteur Assessment
Dave’s assessment results

Interview Notes

Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).

Related Episodes

How to Tame Your Inner Critic, with Tara Mohr • (episode 232)

The Path to More Joy in Work and Life, with Judith Joseph • (episode 734)

How to See What’s Holding You Back, with Marty Dubin • (episode 765)

Discover More

Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

786: The Problem with Reorgs and How to Do Better, with Phil Le-Brun

Lyt når som helst, hvor som helst

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