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Dave Stachowiak

Leaders aren’t born, they’re made. This Monday show helps you discover leadership wisdom through insightful conversations. Independently produced weekly since 2011, Dr. Dave Stachowiak brings perspective from a thriving, global leadership academy, plus more than 15 years of leadership at Dale Carnegie. Bestselling authors, expert researchers, deep conversation, and regular dialogue with listeners have attracted 40 million downloads and the #1 search result for management on Apple Podcasts. Activate your FREE membership to access the entire leadership and management library at CoachingforLeaders.com

Coaching for Leaders

Why start this show?

 A bit of background about me
 How my doctoral dissertation got me thinking about the importance for leaders to focus on themselves
 One thing I've learned for sure: leaders can make a big difference in the lives of others if they take a little time to make a difference in themselves
 Why I care about this
 Lots of resources coming - articles/blogs/Q&A/guests/authors/books/my own perspective

I want your perspective as well:
To submit a comment, question or feedback, visit coachingforleaders.com/feedback

Powerful Listening

 Audio exercise - part 1
 What did you hear? It sounds a lot like a lot of our work lives.
 Audio exercise - part 2

Four Listening Levels:

 Pretend
 Partial
 Present
 Powerful

You can't listen powerfully all the time - but you need to at least some of the time.

Good listening is important work for a leader...just an important (if not more so) than "normal work"

Download the Listening Skills Assessment
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1: Introduction to Powerful Listening

Matt Ross: Liberty Mutual
Welcome to the second episode of Coaching Skills for Leaders! Special guest this week: Matt Ross from Liberty Mutual

How did things go with the listening assessment from the first episode? If you missed it, download the PDF here.

How to start coaching someone:

 This is a huge missed opportunity for a lot of leaders.
 Leaders start teaching a new skill, and that's it…before getting to know someone and without connecting it to the other person's goals/desires.

The model for how to start coaching someone:

F - Future
R - Reality
O - Obstacles
M - Meaning

What to listen for in the interview with Matt Ross:

1) FROM model
2) This shouldn't be an interrogation...you can jump around
3) The importance of silence

Interview with Matt Ross
Contact Matt Ross at this link

What I would do if I was Matt's manager?

 I'd want to talk in terms of how the tasks he's working on connect with his goals.
 If those opportunities weren't there, I'd do my best to create those opportunities for Matt.
 This doesn't take long...the entire interview was 14 minutes and could have been shorter.

Three reasons leaders skip doing this:

 They don't know they should do it (but hopefully you see how helpful this can be)
 They don't know how to do it (but now you do!)
 It takes too long (not really, per our example)

And a final reason right now, they don't have to do it because of the economy. However, at some point better times for employees are coming and those that aren't led well will move on.

In 2010, Harvard Business Review reported on statistics for high potential employees. They reported that:

 1 in 3 high potential employees admit to not putting all their effort into their job
 1 in 4 believes they will be working for another employer in a year

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2: How to Start Coaching Someone

A brief overview of how teaching fits into coaching. We're going to examine a few lessons from The Adult Learner* by Malcolm Knowles.

Pedagogy vs. Andragogy (art of teaching kids vs. self concept of being responsible for ourselves) (Greek: child-leading, man-leading). You can't teach adults the way you teach kids.

Why talk about kids? As coaches, there's the tendency to fall back on what we've seen all our lives and what we remember from school - unfortunately, those same skills don't work with adults.
6 assumptions about andragogy:

 The Need to Know (adults need to know why something is important before learning it)
 The leaner's self concept (they want to be responsible for the progression of their own lives).
 The role of learner's experiences (adults have a lot more of them)
 Readiness to learn (adults need timing that corresponds with developmental tasks)
 Orientation to learning (adults will learn to support what they think will help them in real-life tasks)
 Motivation (adults want job satisfaction, self-esteem, quality of life)

Book recommendation: Drive* by Daniel Pink
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3: Six Ways Teaching Adults is Different than Teaching Kids

Welcome to the seventh episode of Coaching Skills for Leaders! This week's topic: How to Coach the Millennials (Part 1).

One of the biggest challenges I hear from leaders today is how to coach this new generation of young people entering the workforce. I cite current statistics from the Fall 2011 edition of the Leader to Leader Journal.

Special guest: Dr. Gilbert Fugitt
Associate Dean of Students at Concordia University in Irvine, CA
You can reach Gilbert at gilbert.fugitt@cui.edu

Gilbert mentioned the book Not Everybody Gets a Trophy by Bruce Tulgan as a resource for leaders.

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7: How to Coach the Millennials, with Gilbert Fugitt

Welcome to the eighth episode of Coaching Skills for Leaders! This week's topic: How to Coach the Millennials (Part 2).

One of the biggest challenges I hear from leaders today is how to coach this new generation of young people entering the workforce. I cite current statistics from the Fall 2011 edition of the Leader to Leader Journal.

Special guest: Dr. Bonni Stachowiak
President of Innovate Learning (our firm)
Associate Professor of Business at Vanguard University in Costa Mesa, CA

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8: How to Coach the Millennials (Part 2), with Bonni Stachowiak

Dave Stachowiak: Coaching for Leaders
In his book What Got You Here Won’t Get You There, leadership coach Marshall Goldsmith warns against the habit of leaders adding too much value and stifling the motivation of an employee’s independent ideas. He says that when we start improving an employee’s idea, “You may have improved the content of my idea by 5 percent, but you’ve reduced my commitment to executing it by 50 percent, because you’ve taken away my ownership of the idea.”

Does it even make sense to give someone feedback? Here's a helpful guide.

Minor issue?

 If the person is aware: ask what they plan to do to resolve it
 If the person is unaware: let it go

Major issue?

 If the person is aware : ask questions and help brainstorm
 If the person is unaware - redirect by using EXPECTATION -> EXAMPLE -> EMPOWER

Saying something "nice" first can get us in trouble as a leader:

 It doesn't sound sincere, since it's often done only before constructive feedback
 It's not credible since the leader will often fail to cite evidence and examples
 The leader ends up gliding over the real issue and the person never really hears the constructive feedback

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10: The Way to Give Constructive Feedback

Welcome to the thirteenth episode of Coaching Skills for Leaders. This week's topic: How Culture Affects Coaching

To reach me with questions, comments, feedback:
CoachingforLeaders.com/feedback

What do we mean by a strong culture?

 Strong culture: consistent throughout the organization and thus has a strong influence on individuals
 Weak culture: do not have as strong an impact on individuals because of inconsistencies (does not mean it is not effective)

In Organizational Culture and Leadership, Edgar Schein (2004) defines culture as, "…a pattern of SHARED BASIC ASSUMPTIONS that was learned by a group as it solved its problems of external adaptation and internal integration, that has worked well enough to be considered valid and, therefore, to be taught to new members as the correct way to PERCEIVE, THINK, and FEEL in relation to those problems" (p. 17).

We accidentally referred to Schein's book in the episode as "Making Sense of the Organization" which is actually a book by Karl Weick and also an excellent read on organizational culture, though the Schein book is an easier read, so we recommend that first.

We discuss Schein's three indicators of culture:

 Artifacts
 Espoused beliefs and values
 Underlying assumptions

We also referenced the model below from The Character of a Corporation by Goffee and Jones:
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13: How Culture Affects Coaching

Welcome to the fifteenth episode of Coaching Skills for Leaders. This week's topic: Get Specific With Goals

This week I was listening to the HBR IdeaCast and a recent interview with Dr. Heidi Grant Halvorson about her book:
 9 Things Successful People Do Differently

I've also been reading Get Rid of the Performance Review! by Samuel Colbert

To reach me with questions, comments, feedback:
CoachingforLeaders.com/feedback

Examples of actual ineffective goals:

 "Communicate more effectively"
 "Develop leadership skills"
 "Communication skills to be improved (writing) and get your point across more clearing and concisely"
 "Improve quality and completion of assigned duties"
 "Begin working outside of their comfort zone towards new opportunities and/or subject areas"

SMART Framework
S - Specific
M - Measurable
A - Attainable
R - Relevent
T - Time-phased

Examples of more effective goals, utilizing the SMART framework:

 Establish procedures with vendors to reduce year-over-year error rates by 20% before June 30th
 Become a subject matter expert on departmental software use by achieving Microsoft Office Specialist Certification by the end of the year
 Develop skill in departmental training activities by facilitating one training class in Q1 of 2012 and receive participant satisfaction scores that are 80% or higher

Stay connected with this show on iTunes or on Facebook

I'd love your feedback on this show as well as any questions or topics you'd like me to address in future shows:

Visit CoachingforLeaders.com/feedback to submit comments, questions, or feedback

See you in a week for the next episode!

15: Get Specific With Goals

Your core values influence how you view the world and how you interact with others. It's key that we understand our own core values as part of our series on personal leadership.

I read a quote on page 46 of The Leadership Challenge by Jim Kouzes and Barry Posner

Here are the values that I spoke about:

 Meaning - Investing my time and talent into things and people that personally inspire me in the world.
 Sustainability - Putting my effort into things that will provide lasting, positive change in the world.
 Vision - Creating the future by building things twice (once with vision, once in reality).
 Empowerment - Give others the confidence to learn, grow, and contribute to the world in sustainable ways.
 Love - My passion and desire to treat people like fellow human beings.

Some questions for you to consider as you determine your core values:

 What is your perfect day?
 What are you doing when you are in flow and lose track of time?
 What events are you most proud of in your life?
 When do you feel most alive?
 What makes you angry?
 What are you willing to fight for?

I mentioned this document on the show that contains a list of values and may be helpful in determining your core values.

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20: How to Discover Your Core Values

This episode puts all the pieces together from our personal leadership series into your 2012 action plan. I discuss in detail how I've used the Creating Your Life Plan ebook from Michael Hyatt to bring value to my life.

During his 2005 commencement address at Stanford University, Steve Jobs said: “For the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: 'If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?' And whenever the answer has been 'no' for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.” See his full talk at this link.

A piece of my vision that I had written down last year was: "The Coaching Skills for Leaders podcast and blog generates multiple comments weekly from listeners who have used the show to better their leadership and coaching skills."

The action step behind that was: "Produce a consistent coaching podcast and blog that dramatically increases our audience’s skill level in self-leadership, coaching, and personal productivity."

My Values (see episode #20 for a full overview on how to get clarity on your values)

 Meaning: Investing my time and talent into things and people that personally inspire me in the world.
 Sustainability: Putting my effort into things that will provide lasting, positive change in the world.
 Vision: Creating the future by building things twice.
 Empowerment: Give others the confidence to learn, grow, and contribute to the world in sustainable ways.
 Love: My passion and desire to treat people like fellow human beings.

Priorities:

 Faith
 Health
 Bonni
 Baby
 Learning
 Career
 Extended Family
 Friends
 Service
 Finances

An example of my vision for children: "I want my children to remember me as a guiding light in their lives who empowered them with love of God, family, learning, discipline, and friendship. I want them to look back at their time as children as a time filled with many life lessons, joy-filled days, and discipline that served them in their lives as adults. I want them to feel like they were empowered to be whoever God created them to be and that their mom and them always came first in my life. I want them to remember that my love helped them become beautiful and whole people, who would then go on to love their own families and spread God’s love in the world."

Current Reality:

 We don’t have a baby.
 We will have a baby soon.
 Neither of us know what the heck we are doing.

Specific Commitments:

 Spend at least one hour daily (outside of care time) that is focused on connecting with our son through cuddling, play, and other ways that he is ready to explore the world.
 Begin introducing books, reading, and storytelling to him as soon as is practical so that he begins to associate learning and growth with a happy and successful life in this world.
 Work with Bonni to determine a meaningful name for our little boy.
 Finish reading “Raising Cain” to establish good practices to support his growth emotionally.
 Attend as many doctor appointments as possible to continue my education as a father and build a long-term relationship with our pediatrician.
 Complete reading the American Academy of Pediatrics book section on the first year of life that was recommended by our pediatrician.
 Step in as the primary care giver at least one day a week so that Bonni has time to rest, even before she returns to work.
 Determine a guardian for our little boy, should Bonni and I both die when he is young.

Another of an action item this year from my career section:

 Create at least 100 Coaching Skills for Leaders podcast champions by the end of 2012 (people who contact me to say that they’ve gained something from the show or otherwise demonstrate through actions that they are big fans of the show).

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7: How to Coach the Millennials, with Gilbert Fugitt

7: How to Coach the Millennials, with Gilbert Fugitt

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