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Dave Stachowiak

Leaders aren’t born, they’re made. This Monday show helps you discover leadership wisdom through insightful conversations. Independently produced weekly since 2011, Dr. Dave Stachowiak brings perspective from a thriving, global leadership academy, plus more than 15 years of leadership at Dale Carnegie. Bestselling authors, expert researchers, deep conversation, and regular dialogue with listeners have attracted 40 million downloads and over 250K followers on Spotify and Apple Podcasts. Activate your FREE membership to access the entire leadership and management library at CoachingforLeaders.com

Coaching for Leaders

Dave speaks with Anna Bellini, an alum of the Coaching for Leaders Academy, on how to stop a behavior in order to move forward.

Applications to the Coaching for Leaders Academy will open the first week of September. Visit the Academy page to request an early invitation.

Stop What’s Holding You Back, with Anna Bellini

Lorraine K. Lee: Unforgettable Presence
Lorraine K. Lee is passionate about helping ambitious professionals go from invisible to unforgettable in the modern workplace. She is recognized as a LinkedIn Top Voice in workplace communication and presence and spent over a decade as a founding editor at top tech firms like LinkedIn and Prezi, where she worked on core products including the LinkedIn Daily News module and LinkedIn Newsletters. She is the author of Unforgettable Presence: Get Seen, Gain Influence, and Catapult Your Career.

Small talk. We all love to hate it – and we also know that most of us will end up in small talk with someone who’s got a lot of influence. It may be an executive or an external stakeholder. Either way, handling it well can open up doors. In this conversation, Lorraine and I detail how to make small talk go better.
Key Points

 Small talk is the starting point before a deeper relationship.
 Most opportunities for executive small talk are predictable. Preparation will help you speak well.
 Set the tone with positive energy. Rather than dominating the interaction or passively reacting to it, thread your conversations so each party shares equally.
 At the office, be ready with a sentence or two about who you work with and what you’re working on. Relationships and outcomes are more memorable than titles.
 At social events, share a hobby or interest and ask about theirs. Keep questions open-ended as you would with a friend.
 Have a topic ready to go for quick interactions. Sharing a thought about a book or podcast that relates to your organization is a useful resource to have at the ready.
 Review your go-to topics regularly so that you always have a relevant conversation topic.

Resources Mentioned

 Unforgettable Presence: Get Seen, Gain Influence, and Catapult Your Career by Lorraine K. Lee
 Lorraine's weekly newsletter
 Lorraine's career tips on LinkedIn Learning

Interview Notes
Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).
Related Episodes

 Executive Presence with Your Elevator Speech, with Tom Henschel (episode 316)
 How to Talk to People Who Intimidate You, with Shandy Welch (episode 706)
 A Key Tactic for Way Better Conversations, with Alison Wood Brooks (episode 717)

Discover More
Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

746: How to Make Small Talk with Executives, with Lorraine K. Lee

Dave speaks with Mel Rivera, an alum of the Coaching for Leaders Academy, on how she built visibility for her team.

Applications to the Coaching for Leaders Academy will open the first week of September. Visit the Academy page to request an early invitation.

Building Team Visibility, with Mel Rivera

Mort Sherman: Resonant Minds
Mort Sherman is the retired Senior Associate Executive Director of the American Association of School Administrators, known for his visionary leadership as a superintendent dedicated to elevating academic standards and promoting equitable education. Throughout his career, he championed initiatives that addressed achievement gaps and empowered communities to foster inclusive, impactful learning environments. He is the author, along with his daughter Sara Leila Sherman, of Resonant Minds: The Transformative Power of Music, One Note at a Time.

So many of us love music, and it’s often at the core of a lot of our personal lives, celebrations, and emotions. But we don’t often think about how we can leverage its power at work. In this conversation, Mort and I explore how music can help us set the tone for better leadership.
Key Points

 One way to nurture our teams and ourselves is a continual call for leaders, and music is an avenue we don’t often consider.
 Using music as mindful action, coupled with executive function skills, supports the habits of successful leadership.
 Start meetings with music or mindfulness exercises for collective focus, productive discussions, and creative outcomes.
 Create team playlists to build community. Combine playlists with meetings to help support trust and respect.
 Use music to reinforce a message or theme, tied to the needs of the moment.

Resources Mentioned

 Why Cooks Cook from The Bear

Interview Notes
Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).
Related Episodes

 The Power of Leadership Through Hospitality, with Will Guidara (episode 688)
 How to Better Manage Your Emotions, with Ethan Kross (episode 719)
 What Leaders Should Learn from Taylor Swift, with Kevin Evers (episode 739)

Discover More
Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus

745: How Music Can Help Us Lead, with Mort Sherman

Dave speaks with Erann Lincoln, an alum of the Coaching for Leaders Academy, on how she started small to build stronger relationships with her team.

Applications to the Coaching for Leaders Academy will open the first week of September. Visit the Academy page to request an early invitation.

The Power of Starting Small, with Erann Lincoln

Jenny Wood: Wild Courage
Over an 18-year career at Google, Jenny Wood grew from entry-level to executive, most recently leading a large operations team that helped drive billions of revenue per year. In 2021, she started a passion project within Google called Own Your Career, which grew to one of the largest career development programs in Google’s history. Her work has since been featured in Harvard Business Review, Entrepreneur, and Forbes, and she’s now the author of Wild Courage: Go After What You Want and Get It*.

Leadership is about serving others – and it’s also ensuring that we take care of ourselves along the way. Sometimes leaders over-index on helping their organizations and teams, to their own detriment. In this conversation, Jenny and I explore where being a little more selfish might actually be better for everyone.
Key Points

 Selfish redefined means having the courage to stand up for what you want.
 People want to join a winning team, even if they don’t say that out loud.
 Guilt is natural, but always caving to it is self-defeating.
 Don’t do work that’s not actually promotable. There’s no prize for an empty inbox.
 A belief like “I owe it to them,” may signal an over-commitment to the organization. They will not love you back.
 Appreciate truth when you get it, but don’t sign up for a burned-out boss.
 It’s inefficient to always be in the lead. Draft in another leader’s wake.

Resources Mentioned

 Wild Courage: Go After What You Want and Get It* by Jenny Wood

Interview Notes
Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).
Related Episodes

 Align Your Calendar to What Matters, with Nir Eyal (episode 431)
 The Ways Leadership Can Derail Us, with Bill George (episode 596)
 The Path to More Joy in Work and Life, with Judith Joseph (episode 734)

Discover More
Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

744: Where Being Selfish is Better, with Jenny Wood

Roger Kneebone: Expert
Roger Kneebone directs the Imperial College Centre for Engagement and Simulation Science and the Royal College of Music–Imperial College Centre for Performance Science. He researches what experts from different fields can learn from one another, including a creative team of clinicians, computer scientists, musicians, magicians, potters, puppeteers, tailors, and fighter pilots. He is the author of Expert: Understanding the Path to Mastery*.

Many leaders get into the roles they have because they are the experts in their work. But once you’re leading, the work is less about being the expert and more about teaching your expertise to others. In this conversation, Roger and I explore how to get better at doing this well.
Key Points

 Experts don’t often recognize that they are experts.
 A characteristic of many experts is a dissatisfaction with where they are and an awareness that they could do better.
 Experts should notice what’s missing and what would be most helpful to the less experienced person.
 Effective teachers zero in on one thing at a time, even if they notice many areas for improvement.
 Passing along expertise is not just the skills themselves but the perspective of why each skill matters.
 Land in the zone of proximal development. The skill should neither be too easy nor too difficult.

Resources Mentioned

 Expert: Understanding the Path to Mastery* by Roger Kneebone

Interview Notes
Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).
Related Episodes

 Help People Learn Through Powerful Teaching, with Pooja Agarwal (episode 421)
 The Art of Mentoring Well, with Robert Lefkowitz (episode 599)
 How to Handle High-Pressure Situations, with Dan Dworkis (episode 701)

Discover More
Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

743: How to Teach Your Expertise to Others, with Roger Kneebone

Sabina Nawaz: You’re the Boss
Sabina Nawaz is an executive coach who advises C-level executives and teams at Fortune 500 corporations, government agencies, nonprofits, and academic institutions. During her 14-year tenure at Microsoft, she went from managing software development teams to leading the company’s executive development and succession planning efforts for over 11,000 managers and nearly a thousand executives, advising Bill Gates and Steve Ballmer directly. She’s the author of You're the Boss: Become the Manager You Want to Be (and Others Need)*.

Every leader I know intends to be authentic. Unfortunately, we sometimes use authenticity as an excuse not to do the critical work of calibrating our actions. In this conversation, Sabina and I discuss how to avoid that trap so we can show up more genuinely for others.
Key Points

 “Yeah, but…” signals justification and holds us back from what we most need to learn.
 Your success comes despite unhelpful traits, not because of them.
 Pure authenticity is a complete fallacy. Authenticity is not singular.
 We sometimes use authenticity as an excuse not to do the important work of calibrating our actions.
 Don’t let the smokescreen of past “authenticity” get in the way of growth.
 Authenticity is not static. Reading your old past social media posts will remind you of this.
 When shifting, start with small experiments to nudge you in a new direction.

Language that may be warning signs of the authenticity trap:

 “That’s just how I am.”
 “I’m not the kind of person who…”
 “I’m not being true to myself if…”
 “That’s the way I’ve always done things, and it’s worked for me.”

Resources Mentioned

 You're the Boss: Become the Manager You Want to Be (and Others Need)* by Sabina Nawaz

Interview Notes
Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).
Related Episodes

 How to Change Your Behavior, with BJ Fogg (episode 507)
 How to Start a Big Leadership Role, with Carol Kauffman (episode 617)
 The Habits That Hold Leaders Back, with Marshall Goldsmith (episode 696)

Discover More
Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

742: The Problem Leaders Have With Authenticity, with Sabina Nawaz

Minda Harts: Talk to Me Nice
Minda Harts is a bestselling author, workplace consultant, and sought-after keynote speaker who is redefining what it means to build trust in the workplace. As the bestselling author of The Memo, Right Within, and You Are More Than Magic, Minda has empowered thousands to be their own best advocates and navigate workplace challenges with confidence. She has just released her newest book, Talk to Me Nice: The Seven Trust Languages for a Better Workplace.

Sometimes we assume that we’re helping by shielding people from difficult news. But as we all know, virtually everyone wants transparency from leaders. In this conversation, Minda shows us how to get better at it.
Key Points

 You’re not helping by shielding people from difficult conversations.
 Most everyone assumes baseline behaviors of employees. Employees expect reciprocity through transparency.
 We often think about transparency with information that’s known. Just as important is clarity about what’s not known.
 Even when you can’t share news, you can put time and resources into what will help people handle a new reality when it arrives.
 Transparency provides clear, honest, and timely information.
 Promote transparency in roles. A job description is a helpful starting point for this.
 Good intentions do not mean good impact. When changes happen, communicate them as quickly as practical.

Resources Mentioned

 Talk to Me Nice: The Seven Trust Languages for a Better Workplace* by Minda Harts

Interview Notes
Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).
Related Episodes

 The Path Towards Trusting Relationships, with Edgar Schein and Peter Schein (episode 539)
 How to Help Difficult Conversations Go Better, with Sheila Heen (episode 655)
 Preparing for a Conversation with Someone You Don’t Trust, with Charles Feltman (episode 708)

Expert Partner
Are you a talent development or human resources leader seeking a coach for an internal client? Coaching for Leaders has partnered with some of the top coaches in the world, including a number of past podcast guests. Help us make an introduction by visiting our Expert Partners Page and telling us what you’re seeking in a coach.
Discover More
Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

741: Getting Better at Transparency, with Minda Harts

Michael Bungay Stanier: Change Signal
Michael Bungay Stanier is best known for The Coaching Habit, the best-selling coaching book of the century and recognized as a classic. He was a Rhodes Scholar, and was recently awarded the coaching prize by Thinkers50. He's now the host of the new Change Signal podcast.

If you’re doing change right, it’s going to be messy. In this conversation, Michael Bungay Stanier returns to show us where to start, the key mindsets to have, and the first steps for getting traction.
Key Points

 If you’re doing change right, it’s going to be messy.
 Before you remove a fence, figure out why it’s there.
 Take inspiration from Emily Dickinson: “Tell all the truth but tell it slant.”
 Beware giving lip service to the emotional realities of change and then moving forward without really addressing them.
 Strategy is a living conversation. Run experiments. Fire bullets before cannonballs.
 Motivation is a critical factor in change. Better to be less efficient and have people with you than to force compliance with a “perfect” plan.

Emily Dickinson:
Tell all the truth but tell it slant —
Success in Circuit lies
Too bright for our infirm Delight
The Truth's superb surprise
As Lightning to the Children eased
With explanation kind
The Truth must dazzle gradually
Or every man be blind —
Resources Mentioned

 Change Signal podcast hosted by Michael Bungay Stanier
 The Coaching Habit* by Michael Bungay Stanier

Related Episodes

 Engaging People Through Change, with Cassandra Worthy (episode 571)
 How to Approach a Reorg, with Claire Hughes Johnson (episode 621)
 How to Prevent a Team From Repeating Mistakes, with Robert “Cujo” Teschner (episode 660)

Expert Partner
Are you a talent development or human resources leader seeking a coach for an internal client? Coaching for Leaders has partnered with some of the top coaches in the world, including a number of past podcast guests. Help us make an introduction by visiting our Expert Partners Page and telling us what you’re seeking in a coach.
Discover More
Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

740: How to Lead Organizational Change, with Michael Bungay Stanier

James Clear: Atomic Habits
James Clear is an author and speaker focused on habits, decision-making, and continuous improvement. He is a regular speaker at Fortune 500 companies and his work is used by teams in the NFL, NBA, and MLB. He’s the author of the new book, Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones*.
Key Points

 Goals are great for deciding what direction you want to head, but to actually get there it’s all about your systems.
 Results aren’t what needs to change; the processes and habits are what need to change.
 Start with the identity you want for yourself and build your habits to reinforce that identity.
 Your habits are what prove your identity to yourself.
 Habits are like compound interest for self-improvement.

Bonus Audio

 How habits reinforce your identity

Resources Mentioned

 Atomic Habits* by James Clear
 James Clear on Annual Reviews

Related Episodes

 Getting Things Done with David Allen (episode 184)
 Create Behavior That Lasts With Marshall Goldsmith (episode 196)
 The Best Way to Make New Habits Reality (episode 217)

Discover More
Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic.

376: How to Become the Person You Want to Be, with James Clear

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