294. Ask & You Shall Receive: Questions For Better Negotiations

Do you really win the negotiation if it means losing the relationship?

You might think that successful negotiation means getting what you want here and now. But Stan Christensen says this short-sighted view is selling many negotiators short.

Christensen is a professional negotiator, host of the All Things Negotiation podcast, and instructor of one of Stanford's most popular courses on the subject. His core insight: most negotiations happen with people you’ll see again — which means success isn’t about claiming victory, it’s about building long-term, mutually beneficial relationships. “Most people think of negotiation statically,” he says. “It's you and I. There's a fixed pie. We're trying to get more for ourself and less for the other party. In reality, 95% of negotiations are gonna be with people you see again, so I define success as contributing to the value of the long-term relationship.”

In this episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, Christensen and host Matt Abrahams explore what it takes to negotiate well — from the power of listening and asking questions to managing emotions and communicating for collaboration. Whether you're negotiating a business deal or just deciding where to go to dinner, Christensen shows why every negotiation is an opportunity to strengthen the relationship.

Episode Reference Links:

Stan ChristensenAll Things Negotiation PodcastEp.15 The Art of Negotiation: How to Get More of What You WantEp.204 Tough Talks: Turn Tension Into Trust •

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Chapters:

(00:00) - Introduction (00:43) - What Is Negotiation? (01:22) - Negotiating Every Day (02:24) - The Power of Listening (03:57) - Asking Better Questions (05:58) - Handling Emotions (06:56) - Authentic Emotion (07:54) - Body Language Matters (08:45) - Collaboration in Negotiation (10:23) - Framing Conversations (11:48) - Setting the Agenda (13:10) - Co-Creating Structure (14:46) - A Common Negotiation Mistake (15:25) - Why Start a Podcast (16:29) - Learning from Guests (17:26) - The Final Three Questions (22:53) - Conclusion

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