188. Mind Reading 101: To Know What Your Audience Thinks, Just Ask

How to really know what your audience is thinking.

To be a great communicator, you have to get out of your own head. But that’s not all, says Matt Lieberman. According to him, you also have to get into the head of someone else.

“Mind-reading is this remarkable ability that humans have,” explains Lieberman, a professor of psychology, director of UCLA’s Social Cognitive Neuroscience Lab, and author of Social: Why Our Brains Are Wired to Connect. But even as we engage in perspective-taking, Lieberman says our attempts to mind-read often miss the mark. Instead, he advocates for “perspective-getting” — where we don’t just intuit what others think, we ask them directly. “That is where more productive conversation comes from,” he says.

In this episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, Lieberman and host Matt Abrahams explore insights from social neuroscience that can help us communicate more effectively. From understanding how our brains process social interactions to recognizing our own assumptions, he reveals why successful communication requires both humility and genuine curiosity about how others see the world.

Episode Reference Links:

Matt Lieberman • • Matt’s Book: Social: Why Our Brains Are Wired to ConnectEp.24 Feelings First: How Emotion Shapes Our Communication, Decisions, and ExperiencesEp.39 Brains Love Stories: How Leveraging Neuroscience Can Capture People's Emotions •

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Chapters:

(00:00) - Introduction (02:14) - The Social Brain (05:15) - Neuroscience in Business (07:14) - The Science of Persuasion (11:46) - Social Pain & Connection (15:04) - Tackling Loneliness (17:56) - The Final Three Questions (24:01) - Conclusion

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