Susan Piver on The Four Noble Truths of Love

Susan Piver is a New York Times bestselling author of 9 books and a renowned Buddhist teacher. This is Susan's second time on the show because we love her and her work so much. Her new book, The Four Noble Truths of Love: Buddhist Wisdom for Modern Relationships walks us through the Four Noble Truths of Buddhism as they apply to relationships. You don't have to be a Buddhist or study Buddhism to get a lot out of this conversation and her new book. She teaches universal pieces of wisdom that, when applied, will grow and deepen and enrich your relationships to a whole new level.

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Her book, The Four Noble Truths of Love: Buddhist Wisdom for Modern Relationships

The emotions underneath fear, hatred and greed

Depression being a calcified sadness

Turning towards sadness

The four noble truths of love: Relationships are uncomfortable, Thinking that they should be comfortable contributes to that uncomfortableness, Meeting the discomfort and instability together IS love, There's a threefold path to do all of this

Feeling your feelings without the story - what does it feel like in your body? In the environment?

The difference between anger and irritation in the body

The enormous space that opens up when we drop the expectation that when we solve "this" problem, the relationship will stabilize and we'll be happy

Look at the problem itself as a team in relationships rather than blaming one another

The threefold path: Precision, Openness, Going beyond

The role and importance of good manners and honesty in relationships

Good manners = thinking of the other person and making some accommodation, some space for them in your actions and your words

Opening to the other person as they are in a relationship

Intimacy has no end, it can always go deeper. You can always reveal more and you can always discover more

In a relationship, commit to intimacy over love

Addiction and abuse not included in this picture of relationship!

How you can't think your way into intimacy or inspiration - they come when you make the space

Passion between two people will constantly arise, abide and dissolve and though difficult, this is not a problem

Wishing you were in a different part of the cycle is a problem, however

Relax with what is and a space will open up

Her take on suffering

Her beautiful explanation of the concept of non-attachment/detachment

A spiritual practice frees people up to feel everything in the moment, as it is

Your life IS the spiritual path

In meditation we're not trying to get anywhere, we're trying to BE somewhere

Meditating in't about focusing on something but rather, bringing the brain down from some dreamworld into reality in the moment

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