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Lyt når som helst, hvor som helst 

Larry Hagner

The Dad Edge Podcast is a movement. It is a strong community of Fathers who all share a set of values.

Larry Hagner, founder of The Dad Edge, breaks down common challenges of fatherhood, making them easy to understand and overcome.  Tackling the world of Fatherhood can be a daunting task when we try to do it alone.

The mission of The Dad Edge Podcast is to help you become the best, strongest, and happiest version of yourself so that you can help guide your kids to the best version of themselves. Simple as that.  

Everything you need and all of our resources can be found at thedadedge.com/podcast

The Dad Edge Podcast

David Gerber opens this episode with a story that stops you in your tracks: a wild lioness charging at 50 miles an hour, stopping just six feet from him, in the African wilderness where he spends weeks each year tracking lions on foot, not to hunt them, but to experience a level of presence and aliveness he says he's never found anywhere else. David is an executive coach at Novus Global who works with pro athletes, CEOs, and high performers, but the real heart of this conversation is what led him there: a divorce five and a half years ago that broke him open and led to a genuinely dark period in his life, one he's candid about in detail.
 
We get into his framework for why so many successful, high-performing men quietly rate their own lives a "seven out of ten," comfortable enough to avoid change but never truly alive, and what it actually takes to break out of that pattern. David shares practical tools, including an exercise he calls "making friends with the worst case scenario" and his own process of writing a forgiveness letter to his ex-wife, alongside a genuinely moving exchange about his own complicated relationship with his father. If you've ever felt like you're winning at a life you secretly resent, this conversation offers a real, unflinching way through it.
 
 
 
Timeline Summary
 
[1:02] David's story of a wild lioness charging within six feet of him while tracking on foot in Africa
 
[9:47] Larry announces a rare, small-group preview of the Dad Edge Business Boardroom Brotherhood
 
[11:25] Why David has never seen anyone run from a charging lion, and how courage functions like an energy
 
[14:34] A full introduction to David: executive coach at Novus Global, author of "The Lion Is You"
 
[16:51] The origin of the book's title and David's lifelong fascination with lions
 
[17:41] David shares a period of significant suicidal ideation following his divorce
 
[22:33] Unpacking what made the divorce and its aftermath so difficult for him personally
 
[23:47] David shares taking a hair loss medication around the time of his divorce and its effect on him
 
[26:43] Larry announces the first-ever Dad Edge Day with the Arizona Cardinals, November 15th
 
[29:33] Introducing "the drift," and why winning at a resented life is more dangerous than failing
 
[36:15] The "1 to 10 scale" most people rate their lives on, and why most land on a comfortable seven
 
[36:36] The story of "Mike," who sold his company for $42.4 million and still felt unfulfilled
 
[38:19] The question Mike's wife asked him that changed everything: "does this mean you can have donuts with dad at school?"
 
[41:11] What actually calls a man to change without a crisis forcing his hand
 
[46:11] The exercise of identifying what's blocking you from being present
 
[50:35] David's "making friends with the worst case scenario" exercise
 
[53:11] Why David now considers his divorce the best thing that ever happened to him
 
[54:36] The forgiveness letter David wrote to his ex-wife, and what writing it did for him
 
[57:31] Larry shares his own story of reconciling with his biological father after years apart
 
[59:02] Larry's son Mason asks how Larry was able to forgive his own father
 
[1:01:05] David's closing message: find the people closest to you and ask if you need to do deeper work
 
[1:04:09] Where to find David and his book
 
 
 
Five Key Takeaways
 
 1. The most dangerous thing for a high performer often isn't failure, it's winning at a life they secretly resent. Many successful people rate their own lives a comfortable seven out of ten, good enough to avoid real change.
 2. A crisis isn't the only thing that can call someone toward a better life. Getting honest about what you deeply want, and don't currently have, can spark the same shift without requiring rock bottom first.
 3. "Making friends with the worst case scenario" means imagining the thing you fear most happening, and recognizing that even then, you'd likely find a way through it, and possibly grow because of it rather than in spite of it.
 4. Forgiveness doesn't require the other person's response or validation. Writing something down and releasing resentment can restore your own integrity and peace, whether or not it changes the relationship itself.
 5. True presence requires doing real inner work, understanding your nervous system and emotional patterns, not just deciding to "be more present" as an abstract intention.
 
 
 
Links & Resources
 
 • The Lion Is You: Lessons from the Wild on Coming Alive Again by David Gerber: 
 https://www.amazon.com/Lion-You-Lessons-Coming-Alive/dp/1971795003 • David Gerber: 
https://www.davidagerber.com • David Gerber on Instagram: 
https://www.instagram.com/davidgerber • Novus Global: 
https://novusglobal.com • The Dad Edge Day at State Farm Stadium: 
https://thedadedge.com/nfl • Dad Edge Business Boardroom Brotherhood Preview: 
https://thedadedge.com/guest • The Dad Edge Podcast: 
https://thedadedge.com/1533 
 
 
Closing
 
What's staying with me from this conversation is David's line that the most dangerous life isn't the one that fails, it's the one you win at while secretly resenting it. If you're sitting at a comfortable seven right now, wondering if that's just what life is supposed to feel like, let this be the nudge to ask what you actually, deeply want. And if you're in a season that feels much darker than a seven, please don't carry that alone. The 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline is available 24/7 by calling or texting 988. Go out and live legendary.

Why Winning at a Resented Life Is More Dangerous Than Failing featuring David Gerber

I opened this episode by asking Kaseena Birnbaum about something I'd heard her talk about online: the 72 hour rule, a simple commitment she and her husband made years ago to never go more than three days without prioritizing physical intimacy in some form. What made this conversation different from a lot of marriage talks I've had is how honest Kaseena was about how hard that was for her to actually implement, even though it ended up being, in her words, the single thing that changed their entire marriage.
 
We got into what was really underneath her own resistance early on: unaddressed resentment, unspoken expectations, and a cultural upbringing that made talking openly about sex feel shameful. Kaseena shared the exact moment her husband finally understood that her "no" wasn't rejection of him, just exhaustion in that moment, and how that reframe changed everything for both of them. We also talked through the small, everyday behaviors, being observant, following through on your word, creating emotional safety, that build the kind of trust and attraction that makes physical connection feel natural instead of like an obligation.
 
 
 
Timeline Summary
 
[1:02] Kaseena's unusual name and a lighthearted detour into the pressure of naming your own kids
 
[3:49] Introducing the 72 hour rule and what changed after Kaseena and her husband started following it
 
[6:20] Why implementing the rule was far harder for Kaseena than she expected
 
[9:21] A full introduction to Kaseena: marriage coach, content creator, and mother of two
 
[10:06] Resentment as "the polyp," and why it quietly grows until it becomes something much bigger
 
[11:26] Unpacking unspoken and unmet expectations as the root of most disconnection
 
[16:12] Larry announces the first-ever Dad Edge Day with the Arizona Cardinals, November 15th
 
[16:49] Naming an expectation your spouse never actually agreed to isn't really their failure
 
[17:51] The Instagram story that resonated with Larry: flirting all day, then feeling "smoked" by evening
 
[19:53] Understanding the "baby mode" reaction men fall into after being turned down
 
[24:03] The moment Kaseena's husband learned that her "no" wasn't rejection, just exhaustion
 
[25:48] What specific behaviors outside the bedroom actually build attraction and trust
 
[29:06] Larry announces a rare, small-group preview of the Dad Edge Business Boardroom Brotherhood
 
[31:05] Getting curious instead of triggered when your spouse is having an off day
 
[34:23] The two or three things Kaseena hears most often from clients in crisis
 
[37:35] How Kaseena coaches couples: identifying the one shift that will move the needle fastest
 
[41:13] Why small, consistent follow-through matters more than big romantic gestures
 
[42:19] The grocery list example: how small broken promises quietly erode trust
 
[43:47] Why offering two specific options works better than an open-ended "what can I help you with"
 
[45:01] What Kaseena is most excited about next for her mission and message
 
[48:10] Where to find Kaseena and the 72 hour rule challenge
 
 
 
Five Key Takeaways
 
 1. Resentment behaves like a polyp: not every instance turns into something serious, but nearly every serious breakdown started as an unaddressed resentment that was left to grow.
 2. Most disconnection in a marriage traces back to expectations that were never actually communicated out loud. If your spouse doesn't know what you expect, you can't fairly hold them accountable for missing it.
 3. A "no" to intimacy is often a no to the current moment, not a rejection of your spouse as a person. Understanding that distinction can remove years of unnecessary hurt and insecurity.
 4. Trust is built or broken in small, ordinary moments, following through on what you said you'd do, being observant, noticing when something's off, far more than through grand gestures.
 5. When your spouse is overwhelmed or triggered, respond with curiosity instead of reacting personally. Getting curious about what's really going on defuses conflict far faster than matching their energy.
 
 
 
Links & Resources
 
 • Making Marriage Sexy: 
https://www.instagram.com/makingmarriagesexy • The Dad Edge Day at State Farm Stadium: 
https://thedadedge.com/nfl • The Dad Edge Podcast: 
https://thedadedge.com/1532 • The Dad Edge Boardroom Mastermind: 
https://thedadedge.com/guest 
 
 
Closing
 
What's staying with me from this conversation is how simple Kaseena's reframe actually is: a no is usually a no to the moment, not a no to you. So much unnecessary hurt in a marriage comes from taking things personally that were never meant that way. Whether it's the 72 hour rule, addressing an expectation you've never said out loud, or just getting curious instead of defensive the next time your spouse is having a hard day, small, consistent shifts are what actually rebuild connection. Go out and live legendary.

How You Can Rebuild Your Marriage Without Starting Over featuring Kaseena Birnbaum

This week's Alliance Q&A is one I think a lot of you will relate to, even if you've never said it out loud. A member named Eric brought a question on behalf of a close friend who's in a genuinely rough season with his marriage, arguments about a job, about help around the house, about who's doing enough for the kids. Rather than treat it as a surface-level scheduling problem, we spent this entire episode digging into what's actually happening underneath, because I've coached enough men to know the surface complaint is almost never the real issue.
 
We get into the real needs driving most marital conflict, why a woman needs to feel seen, heard, and safe, and why a man needs respect, appreciation, and physical affection, and what happens when both partners stop meeting those needs and start reacting to each other instead. I introduce the concept of the emotional bank account, a term I credit to researcher John Gottman, and share a personal example of learning the hard way that not all acts of service are created equal. We also talk through "nice guy syndrome" and its unattractive cousin, people-pleasing, and I introduce a book that's helped me completely reframe how I show up for Jessica: G.S. Youngblood's three-part framework of responding instead of reacting, leading with structure, and always providing safety.
 
 
 
Timeline Summary
 
[1:02] Introducing today's Alliance Q&A and the friend's marriage situation Eric is bringing forward
 
[2:24] The staggering statistic: only about 12% of married couples have a genuinely thriving marriage
 
[3:16] Eric lays out the surface-level arguments: the job, help around the house, time with the kids
 
[6:19] Establishing the marriage timeline and when things started to unravel
 
[8:16] Asking whether the job is really the issue, or just where the resentment gets pointed
 
[8:38] Larry announces the first-ever Dad Edge Day with the Arizona Cardinals, November 15th
 
[10:40] The real needs at play: seen, heard, and safe for her; respected, appreciated, and affection for him
 
[12:14] Whether he's actually meeting those needs, and the common trap of guessing instead of asking
 
[13:58] The reactive cycle: unmet needs on one side triggering unattractive behavior on the other
 
[15:09] Introducing the five love languages and why they aren't one-size-fits-all
 
[15:51] Introducing the emotional bank account and why not all acts of service move the needle
 
[16:09] Larry's own car wash story, and the moment he learned what actually mattered to his wife
 
[18:49] The question worth asking your spouse: what exactly is happening when you feel most loved
 
[21:41] Naming "nice guy syndrome" and the pattern of doing things with a hidden expectation attached
 
[23:22] Confirming he's a people pleaser, and why that trait is deeply unattractive to a woman
 
[23:48] Introducing G.S. Youngblood's book and its three-part framework for masculine leadership
 
[24:07] The first principle: respond, don't react
 
[24:26] The second principle: lead with structure instead of asking open-ended questions
 
[25:54] The third principle: always provide safety through calm, grounded tonality
 
[26:20] Wrapping up and reflecting on how these ideas apply directly to Eric's friend
 
[27:33] Reminders: Roommates to Soulmates starting September 16th, and the Business Boardroom Brotherhood preview
 
 
 
Five Key Takeaways
 
 1. Surface-level arguments, about a job, about chores, are rarely the real issue. Almost always, there's an unmet need underneath that both partners are struggling to name directly.
 2. A woman's core needs tend to center on feeling seen, heard, and safe. A man's core needs tend to center on respect, appreciation, and physical affection. When either side stops meeting those needs, both partners start reacting instead of connecting.
 3. Not all acts of service are created equal. The emotional bank account concept means some gestures barely register while others, often smaller and more specific, become huge needle-movers. Ask your spouse directly what actually makes them feel loved.
 4. "Nice guy syndrome" and people-pleasing are deeply unattractive traits, not because kindness is bad, but because doing things with a hidden expectation attached (do this, then maybe she'll be nice to me) isn't genuine generosity.
 5. A grounded, masculine approach to leadership in a relationship comes down to three things: responding instead of reacting, leading with structure instead of vague open-ended questions, and consistently providing emotional safety through your tone and presence.
 
 
 
Links & Resources
 
 • The Masculine in Relationship: A Blueprint for Inspiring the Trust, Lust, and Devotion of a Strong Woman by G.S. Youngblood: 
 https://www.amazon.com/Masculine-Relationship-Inspiring-Devotion-Woman/dp/1699443386 • The Dad Edge Day at State Farm Stadium: 
https://thedadedge.com/nfl • The Dad Edge Podcast: 
https://thedadedge.com/1528 • The Dad Edge Boardroom Mastermind: 
https://thedadedge.com/guest 
 
 
Closing
 
If you take one thing from this episode, let it be this: stop guessing at what your spouse needs and just ask. Eric's friend, like so many of us at some point, has been doing things with the hope that they'll move the needle, without ever finding out what actually would. Go ask your wife directly what she was doing, and what you were doing, the last time she felt most loved and connected to you, and then go do more of that. Go out and live legendary.

Why Only 12% of Marriages Are Actually Thriving

Baruch HaLevi opens this conversation with a statistic most listeners have never heard: every 13 minutes in America, a man dies by suicide, and men account for roughly 80% of all suicide deaths. For Baruch, this isn't abstract. He's lost family members to suicide across multiple generations, and he candidly shares that he himself came close to the same fate about a decade ago, during a period of profound identity loss after stepping away from 20 years as a rabbi.
 
Grounded in the work of Holocaust survivor and psychiatrist Viktor Frankl, Baruch and Larry talk through what actually helps a man in genuine despair: finding a "why not," the specific reason to keep going, learning to sit with guilt without letting it curdle into shame, and the necessity of real, honest community instead of empty check-ins. Both men share their own history with suicidal crisis directly. If you or someone you love has ever been in a season that felt unbearable, this conversation offers a clear, compassionate way through it, but given the depth of what's discussed, please take care with how and when you engage with it.
 
 
 
Timeline Summary
 
[1:24] Introducing the statistic behind Baruch's mission: a man dies by suicide every 13 minutes in America
 
[2:41] Baruch shares that his father and grandmother both died by suicide, and that it's deeply personal to his work
 
[4:50] Larry and Baruch each share their own history of suicidal crisis
 
[7:07] Discovering Viktor Frankl's work as a turning point during his own darkest season
 
[11:11] Rebuilding identity from the ground up after stepping away from a lifelong profession
 
[12:22] A full introduction to Baruch: logotherapist, rabbi, author of "The Guy in the Glass"
 
[13:40] The origin of the book's title, tied to a poem given to Baruch by his grandfather
 
[16:21] Larry announces the first-ever Dad Edge Day with the Arizona Cardinals, November 15th
 
[18:24] Baruch reflects on why his father reached the point he did
 
[27:46] Introducing the concept of a "why not" as a foundation to keep living
 
[29:49] Discussing how the idea of "finding your why" has become diluted in modern culture
 
[31:19] Viktor Frankl's concept of self-transcendence: living for something beyond yourself
 
[36:50] Larry announces a rare, small-group preview of the Dad Edge Business Boardroom Brotherhood
 
[38:00] How genuine community changes the experience of shame and crisis
 
[41:11] Why hiding in isolation during a hard season is actually a disservice to others
 
[45:37] The loss of Baruch's closest friend, and the concept of "bearing witness" to another man's life
 
[47:45] Unpacking the phrase "shame dies in safe conversations," and the difference between guilt and shame
 
[49:53] Details on Baruch's book, his mission, and where to find his work
 
[51:37] What Baruch would say directly to a man in a moment of crisis
 
[53:24] Larry shares an important reframe he once heard from his own therapist
 
 
 
Five Key Takeaways
 
 1. Finding a concrete "why not," a specific reason not to give up, can be as important as finding a broader life purpose when someone is in genuine crisis.
 2. Guilt and shame are not the same thing. Guilt corrects behavior and can be redemptive; shame attacks a person's fundamental worth and has no redemptive value. Healthy communities make room for guilt and accountability without slipping into shame.
 3. Self-transcendence, living for something or someone beyond yourself, is described as the deepest source of meaning available to a person, more foundational than personal happiness or self-actualization alone.
 4. Withdrawing into isolation during a hard season doesn't protect the people who care about you, it deprives them of the chance to show up for you, and it removes the example of bravery that could help someone else going through the same thing.
 5. Genuine connection, being truly seen and known by another person, is one of the most protective forces against despair. Real community requires honesty, not surface-level check-ins that accept "I'm fine" as a real answer.
 
 
 
Links & Resources
 
 • Baruch HaLevi: 
https://bhalevi.com • The Guy in the Glass by Baruch HaLevi: 
https://bhalevi.com • The Dad Edge Day at State Farm Stadium: 
https://thedadedge.com/nfl • The Dad Edge Boardroom Mastermind: 
https://thedadedge.com/guest • The Dad Edge Podcast: 
https://thedadedge.com/1530 
 
 
Closing
 
If you are having thoughts of suicide, or you're worried about someone who might be, please don't wait. Call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, available 24 hours a day, every day. You are not a burden, and the people who love you would rather have you, in any season, than lose you. If you're not in crisis yourself but this episode brought something up for you, please talk to someone you trust, or a licensed therapist, today rather than carrying it alone.

Finding Your "Why Not" When Everything Feels Unbearable featuring Baruch HaLevi

John Sapiente never planned to become a charitable force in the veteran community, he just wanted to play golf with a celebrity at a charity gala. That single decision in 2013 led him to a life-changing weekend with military families, a friendship with Folds of Honor founder Lt. Col. Dan Rooney, and eventually the creation of Volition America, a lifestyle apparel brand that has raised over $2 million for veteran and first responder families by donating 13% of profits, a number tied to the 13 folds of the American flag.
 
In this conversation with Larry, John shares the origin story behind brand partnerships with Puma, Cobra Golf, and Luminox, the moment he surprised a wounded Navy SEAL with a custom Jeep on July 4th, and his approach to raising four kids while running two manufacturing companies and a nonprofit-adjacent brand. He's candid about the tradeoffs of building a business empire, protecting Mother's Day as sacred family time, and 30 years of weekly date nights with his wife. If you've ever wondered what it looks like to turn a single meaningful moment into a lasting mission, this episode is a direct look at how that actually happens.
 
 
 
Timeline Summary
 
[1:02] The 2013 charity golf event that sparked John's "patriotic awakening"
 
[4:58] Meeting wounded veterans and hearing taps played during a tournament, and the impact it had
 
[9:22] Becoming friends with Lt. Col. Dan Rooney, founder of Folds of Honor
 
[10:07] The origin of "volition" as a word and a brand philosophy: the power of choice
 
[12:31] A full introduction to John: founder of Volition America, raising over $2 million for veterans
 
[14:32] Raising a confident, self-sufficient daughter, and the values he prioritized as a father
 
[21:56] The family rule that sports never come before Mother's Day
 
[25:43] Referencing Dr. John Delony's take on travel sports ruining the family dinner table
 
[26:46] The mandatory Sunday family dinner tradition that started when the kids were young
 
[28:34] The family rule that every kid needs "a battle," something they're passionate about, one at a time
 
[29:19] A son's question about whether John was disappointed he chose band over sports
 
[31:10] Supporting a daughter who hated soccer but lit up when she found dance
 
[32:13] The father-son talent show plan built around a shared love of Michael Jackson
 
[34:01] Thirty years of marriage and the weekly date nights that started when their kids were young
 
[36:15] Why "if you have to think about your last date night, it's been too long"
 
[43:40] Introducing Volition America and the $2 million raised for Folds of Honor
 
[47:20] The story of surprising Navy SEAL Jeff Samuels with a custom Jeep on July 4th
 
[50:25] How brand partnerships with Puma, Cobra Golf, and Luminox actually came together
 
[53:21] Upcoming brand extensions: a cigar line with Gurkha and a new wine label
 
[55:55] Where to find Volition America and support the mission
 
 
 
Five Key Takeaways
 
 1. A single moment of unexpected exposure, in John's case a charity golf outing, can become a life's mission if you stay open to what it reveals. He wasn't looking for a cause; the cause found him.
 2. Kids need something they're passionate about, one thing at a time, not necessarily a sport. Supporting a child's actual interest, whether it's marching band or dance, builds more confidence than pushing them toward what you expected.
 3. Protecting non-negotiable family time, like Mother's Day or a weekly date night, requires real boundaries. John's family skipped championship games that landed on Mother's Day because some things matter more than convenience.
 4. You cannot build a major business while being a 50/50 present parent every single day. Real tradeoffs exist, and the goal is being genuinely present in the time you do have rather than pretending you can do everything equally.
 5. Purpose-driven business partnerships can create value for everyone involved. Brand collaborations built around a genuine mission bring new audiences to both the cause and the partner brand, not just a marketing gimmick.
 
 
 
Links & Resources
 
 • Volition America: 
https://volitionamerica.com • Folds of Honor: 
https://foldsofhonor.org • The Dad Edge Podcast: 
https://thedadedge.com/1529 • Roommates to Soulmates: 
http://thedadedge.com/soulmates • The Board Room Mastermind: Guest Session: 
http://thedadedge.com/guest • 
 
 
 
Closing
 
What stays with me from this conversation is how one afternoon of golf, entered into for the wrong reasons, turned into a mission that's raised over $2 million for the families of fallen and disabled service members. John didn't set out to build a movement, he just stayed open to what that weekend showed him. Whether it's a cause, a kid's unexpected passion, or a weekly date night you've let slide, the same principle applies: show up for the thing in front of you, and let it become what it's going to become. Go out and live legendary.

Raising Kids Who Have "A Battle" Worth Fighting For featuring John Sapiente

For the second time, Marc Hildebrand flips the format and puts Larry in the interview seat, this time to unpack the five things men consistently say changed everything after joining the Dad Edge Business Boardroom Brotherhood: clarity, challenge, strategy, accountability, and brotherhood. Using real, anonymized member stories, Larry walks through how the group helps a business owner named Taylor rebuild connection with his wife using the four pillars of marriage and three levels of listening, why "rusty relationships" built on enabling friends keep 78% of men stuck, and why vague goals like "more communication" aren't actually strategies.
 
Larry also shares the origin story of the group's gamified accountability system, born on a cruise ship when he realized he hated holding people accountable the traditional way, and closes with a blunt challenge: most men wait for a crisis before they get help, and by then it's often too late. If you're a business owner who feels like your family gets the leftovers of your time and energy, this conversation is a direct look at what actually changes that.
 
 
 
Timeline Summary
 
[1:02] Larry opens on the tension every entrepreneur feels: building an empire without sacrificing family
 
[4:21] Introducing Marc Hildebrand as this week's interviewer, flipping the usual format
 
[6:42] The first pillar: clarity, and the story of onboarding a new member named Taylor
 
[7:45] Introducing the Brave Man system: bond, raise, amplify, vitality, enjoy, movement, action, network
 
[9:47] The comparison trap and the real divorce and disconnection statistics behind most marriages
 
[10:28] The four pillars of an extraordinary marriage: individual, partnership, friendship, and lovers
 
[13:20] Giving Taylor the 50 Intimate Conversation Starters and a simple daily walk-and-talk challenge
 
[15:13] The three levels of listening: to respond, to understand, and to hear the emotion underneath
 
[20:43] Larry announces a rare open preview of the Dad Edge Business Boardroom Brotherhood
 
[22:29] Why the same relational skills that fix a marriage also apply to clients and employees
 
[26:35] The second pillar: challenge, and the difference between friends and objective advisors
 
[27:22] Introducing "rusty relationships" and the 78% statistic from Mansfield's Book of Manly Men
 
[30:08] The story of a member named Tim who left his gym to stop being the smartest guy in the room
 
[33:38] The third pillar: strategy, and why "more" or "better" communication isn't actually a strategy
 
[35:25] The Casey 1.0 and 2.0 example: moving from scarcity and fear to strategic thinking
 
[38:20] The story of a member named Blake, whose time management problem was really about protecting family time
 
[40:03] Larry announces the first-ever Dad Edge Day with the Arizona Cardinals, November 15th
 
[42:49] The fourth pillar: accountability, and the cruise ship story behind gamifying it
 
[45:29] Introducing "the tent," the virtual system where members plan and track weekly missions
 
[47:20] The story of a member named Jayden whose recurring unfinished mission revealed a deeper marriage issue
 
[48:51] The fifth pillar: brotherhood, and why shame dies in safe conversations
 
[54:30] Larry's closing challenge: most men wait for a crisis, and by then it's often too late
 
 
 
Five Key Takeaways
 
 1. 

Real clarity often comes from realizing your problem isn't what you think it is. A man convinced his issue is "not enough communication" usually discovers, through the right questions, that the real issue is which questions he's asking and how he's listening.
 2. 
 3. 

The four pillars of an extraordinary marriage, individual, partnership, friendship, and lovers, break down when couples get stuck managing logistics (partnership) and skip friendship entirely, which makes physical connection feel confusing or absent.
 4. 
 5. 

A friend who only agrees with your complaints isn't helping you, he's enabling you. An objective advisor without emotional stake in your friendship will challenge you in ways a lifelong buddy often won't.
 6. 
 7. 

Vague goals like "more communication" or "better connection" aren't strategies, they're wishes. Real change comes from identifying specific, concrete actions, the same way a health goal requires a specific plan, not just an instruction to "get healthier."
 8. 
 9. 

Accountability works best when it's gamified rather than shame-based. Publicly tracked weekly goals, done with humor and healthy competition, produce more consistent follow-through than accountability rooted in guilt.
 10. 
 
 
 
Links & Resources
 
 • The Dad Edge Business Boardroom Brotherhood Preview: 
https://thedadedge.com/guest • Roommates to Soulmates: 
http://thedadedge.com/soulmates • The Pursuit of Legendary Fatherhood by Larry Hagner: 
https://thedadedge.com • The Dad Edge Podcast: 
http://thedadedge.com/1531 • 
 • Mansfield's Book of Manly Men by Stephen Mansfield
 • The Miracle Morning for Couples by Hal Elrod, Lance Salazar, and Brandy Salazar
 
 
 
Closing
 
If there's one thing Larry wants every business owner dad to hear from this episode, it's this: don't wait for a crisis. He read an email that same day from a man who waited seven years to address a marriage on the brink of collapse, and now he's scrambling. Clarity, challenge, strategy, accountability, and brotherhood aren't things you need once things fall apart, they're things you build before they do. Go out and live legendary.

Why Rusty Relationships Keep 78% of Men Stuck featuring Marc Hildebrand

Abbey Sharp has built an audience of over 2.5 million people calling out nutrition misinformation as a registered dietitian, and in this conversation she and Larry cut through some of the biggest confusion facing dads right now: the seed oil panic, the rise of "looks maxing" and muscularity-focused disordered eating in men, and how to feed a house full of picky kids without turning dinner into a nightly battle. Larry gets unusually candid about his own relationship with fitness and body image, and Abbey offers a grounded, non-restrictive framework for approaching food that she built out of her own recovery from an eating disorder.
 
The conversation also covers modeling healthy body image for kids, a practical division-of-responsibility approach to family meals, and Abbey's honest take on GLP-1 medications. If you've ever felt confused by conflicting nutrition advice online, or wondered whether your own relationship with fitness has quietly become more about fear than health, this episode offers real, evidence-based clarity.
 
 
 
Timeline Summary
 
[1:02] The seed oil debate: what the actual research says versus the online panic
 
[6:15] Ranking cooking oils by nutrient profile, and why canola oil gets undeserved hate
 
[16:09] Introducing Abbey Sharp: registered dietitian, author, and "the internet's no BS dietitian"
 
[17:45] Diet culture's impact on men, reframed as "optimization" and "looks maxing"
 
[19:02] How male-focused disordered eating often centers on muscularity rather than thinness
 
[21:42] Explaining "looks maxing" and its darker corners online
 
[23:23] Larry shares his own history: childhood bullying, a significant weight loss at 17, and fear of regaining it
 
[27:23] Finding balance: caring for your body without making it a referendum on your worth
 
[29:31] Why kids absorb body image messaging from watching their parents, long before anyone tells them directly
 
[34:00] Abbey shares her own teenage experience with orthorexia and how it shaped her career
 
[36:07] Introducing the Hunger Crushing Combo: protein, fiber, and healthy fats instead of restriction
 
[42:44] Abbey's take on GLP-1 medications: real benefits, real risks, and real social side effects
 
[47:07] Building a high protein, high fiber breakfast for kids without restricting carbs
 
[53:32] The Division of Responsibility approach to feeding picky kids without nightly battles
 
[58:24] Larry shares a childhood memory of being forced to eat spinach, and why pressure backfires
 
[59:40] Where to find Abbey: her podcast, YouTube channel, and family nutrition webinar
 
 
 
Five Key Takeaways
 
 1. 

Not all cooking oils are created equal, and the sweeping "seed oils are toxic" narrative doesn't hold up under real research. The bigger issue is the ultra-processed foods most seed oils show up in, not the oil itself.
 2. 
 3. 

Disordered eating in men is often disguised as discipline. Framed as "optimization" or "looks maxing," compulsive protein tracking, fear of fat, and obsessive exercise get praised rather than questioned, which makes it harder to recognize as a real problem.
 4. 
 5. 

A helpful litmus test for a healthy relationship with fitness is whether it still lets you live your life: can you skip a workout, eat at a birthday party, or go out with friends without guilt? If self-care starts shrinking your life instead of adding to it, that's worth examining.
 6. 
 7. 

Kids absorb body image messaging by watching their parents, not just from what's said directly to them. Comments about needing to "earn" food through exercise or fearing weight gain teach kids that their body is a project long before anyone tells them so outright.
 8. 
 9. 

The Division of Responsibility approach to feeding kids means parents decide what, when, and where meals happen, while kids decide how much they eat. Keeping one safe, familiar food on the table for picky eaters reduces mealtime battles far more effectively than pressure or bribery.
 10. 
 
 
 
Links & Resources
 
 • Bite Back with Abbey Sharp: 
https://www.abbeyskitchen.com • The Hunger Crushing Combo Method by Abbey Sharp, RD: 
https://www.abbeyskitchen.com/hunger-crushing-combo • The Board Room Mastermind: Guest Session: 
http://thedadedge.com/guest • 
 • Roommates to Soulmates: 
http://thedadedge.com/soulmates • 
 • Episode shownotes: 
http://thedadedge.com/1527 
 
 
Closing
 

 
If any part of this conversation, especially the parts about food noise, fear of weight gain, or the pressure to always be optimizing, hit closer to home than you expected, you're not alone, and it's worth talking to someone. If you or someone you know is struggling with disordered eating, the National Alliance for Eating Disorders helpline is available for support and can help you find the right next step. Beyond that, the whole spirit of this conversation is permission: permission to eat the pizza, permission to miss a workout, permission to let your kids grow up without inheriting a fear of their own bodies. Go out and live legendary.

What Your Kids Learn From Watching You Eat featuring Abbey Sharp

I've had a lot of impressive guests on this show, but Khalil Zahar's story genuinely stood out to me. He's the founder and CEO of FightCamp, a company he built from a simple idea, wanting to actually measure his own progress as a boxer, into one of the biggest names in connected fitness, with over $100 million raised and backing from legends like Mike Tyson, Floyd Mayweather, and Georges St-Pierre. He's also not married and doesn't have kids, but the lessons he's built his entire career around, discipline, discomfort, and identity, translate directly to fatherhood and marriage.
 
We started with the pivotal moment in his early 20s, a late night watching Sportscenter, that made him realize he didn't have unlimited time to become who he wanted to be. From there we got into his philosophy around seeking discomfort intentionally, why he believes identity has to come before outcome, and what it actually means to become the person who does the things you want to be known for, rather than chasing the result directly. He shared a personal story about training around a serious injury by controlling everything he could, his nutrition and mindset, when he couldn't control his body, and I shared a nearly identical story from my own torn patella tendon recovery.
 
We closed the conversation on what Khalil calls the mindset of a fighter, discipline, craftsmanship, accepting what you can't control, and learning to be genuinely thankful for your losses instead of resentful of them. If you've ever felt too comfortable, stuck in a rut, or unsure how to push yourself toward the version of you that you know is possible, this conversation gives you a real, practical way to start.
 
 
 
Timeline Summary
 
[1:04] Khalil's early 20s awakening: a late night realization that time wasn't unlimited
 
[3:36] His teenage dream of becoming a professional B-Boy and the intimidating scene around it
 
[7:00] The first concrete steps he took once he decided to stop just "trying a little"
 
[9:25] How Khalil's relationship with failure changed once he actually started taking risks
 
[12:20] Larry announces a rare, small-group preview of the Dad Edge Business Boardroom Brotherhood
 
[12:37] Why embracing failure sooner would have changed everything, and Thomas Edison's light bulb story
 
[14:31] Taking the first, smallest possible step instead of trying to see ten miles ahead
 
[16:34] A full introduction to Khalil: FightCamp's founder, backed by Tyson, Mayweather, and Saint-Pierre
 
[18:11] Khalil's controversial philosophy: why seeking discomfort matters more than self-acceptance alone
 
[21:39] Practical advice for a man who feels too comfortable and stuck in a "dad bod" mindset
 
[22:01] The core idea: identity comes first, and outcomes follow from who you decide to become
 
[25:21] Larry announces Roommates to Soulmates cohort three, starting September 16th
 
[27:16] Diving deeper into identity versus tactics, using Khalil's 13 bodybuilding competitions as an example
 
[32:18] Why seeking discomfort is fundamentally about removing fear, not chasing a specific outcome
 
[35:51] Confidence built through keeping your word to yourself, even when you don't feel like it
 
[36:43] What the mindset of a fighter actually looks like, broken into four core principles
 
[38:18] The first principle: discipline as doing what you don't want to do
 
[39:48] The second principle: craftsmanship, applying full care and attention to everything you touch
 
[40:31] The third principle: you can't control your opponent, only how you prepare and react
 
[42:17] The fourth principle: losses and failure are praised in martial arts, not resented
 
[44:10] Larry's own story of controlling what he could control during a torn patella tendon recovery
 
[45:32] Khalil shares a strikingly similar story recovering from a severe hand injury
 
[49:17] Where to find Khalil and FightCamp
 
 
 
Five Key Takeaways
 
 1. 

Time is not unlimited, and the sooner you accept that, the sooner you stop just "trying a little" and start actually pursuing the version of yourself you want to become.
 2. 
 3. 

Identity comes before outcome. Instead of fixating on the result you want, define who that person would be and start living like them today, and the outcome tends to follow naturally.
 4. 
 5. 

Confidence isn't built by achieving a goal once, it's built by consistently keeping your word to yourself, especially in the small moments when you don't feel like following through.
 6. 
 7. 

You cannot control your circumstances, your opponent, or the environment around you. The only thing you control is how you prepare for and respond to what happens, and real peace comes from focusing there instead.
 8. 
 9. 

Losses and failure should be treated as lessons to be thankful for, not outcomes to resent. A fighter's mindset toward getting knocked down and getting back up applies directly to marriage, parenting, and business.
 10. 
 
 
 
Links & Resources
 
 • FightCamp (Khalil's at-home connected boxing and kickboxing fitness platform) — 
https://joinfightcamp.com • FightCamp on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok — @fightcamp
 • Khalil Zahar on Instagram — @khalilzahar
 • Shownotes for this episode: 
http://thedadedge.com/1526 • Roommates to Soulmates (Larry's 8-week marriage coaching cohort; next cohort starts September 16th, with free preview calls): 
http://thedadedge.com/soulmates • Join the boardroom: 
http://thedadedge.com/guest 
 
 
Closing
 
What's staying with me from this conversation is Khalil's point that losses are meant to be praised, not resented, because that's exactly the mindset a marriage and a family need too. You're not going to get every season right, and neither is your wife or your kids, but treating a setback as a lesson instead of a verdict on who you are changes everything about how you recover from it. Whatever discomfort you've been avoiding lately, in your body, your business, or your relationships, let this be the nudge to take the smallest next step toward it.

Controlling What You Can When Everything Else Falls Apart featuring Khalil Zahar

This week's Wednesday Q&A is a little different, I'm running it solo since my usual co-host Joe couldn't make it, and honestly, it turned into one of the harder, more important conversations we've had. A man in our Alliance named Rich called in with a genuinely difficult situation: his 17-year-old stepdaughter recently went through a breakup, was hospitalized shortly after making statements about wanting to end her life, and Rich is trying to figure out how to support her while also being honest that he's not sure whether what he's seeing is a real crisis or a manipulation tactic she's learned to use.
 
I want to be upfront that I am not a licensed therapist, and neither is anyone else on this call. We have someone in our community who specializes in this exact area, and when a situation is acute, that's who we point men toward. What I can offer is real, lived experience, because one of my own boys went through a genuinely frightening season with depression and anxiety years ago, and I've been in the position of feeling completely out of my depth as a father.
 
If you're a father watching a child struggle right now and feeling like you have no idea what you're doing, or you're not even sure if what you're seeing is a real crisis, this conversation won't give you all the answers, because there often aren't easy ones. But it might help you feel less alone in it.
 
 
 
Timeline Summary
 
[1:02] Opening the Wednesday Q&A solo, and introducing today's difficult topic
 
[1:48] Introducing Rich, a leader in the Alliance's teen-parenting group, and his situation
 
[3:13] Rich shares that his 17-year-old bonus daughter has recently expressed suicidal thoughts
 
[4:33] Understanding the timeline: a difficult personal season followed by a breakup two weeks ago
 
[5:43] Larry announces Roommates to Soulmates cohort three, starting September 16th
 
[7:25] Larry's disclaimer: not a licensed therapist, and where the community sends acute cases
 
[8:37] Asking Rich what he'd want to see in his stepdaughter's life a few months from now
 
[9:49] The tension between wanting to support her and wanting to hold her accountable to her own goals
 
[10:47] Assessing her circle of friends and the instability there
 
[12:30] First piece of advice: don't go through this alone, and find a therapist she connects with
 
[13:20] The breakfast and games advice from a mentor, and why simple connection mattered more than conversation
 
[15:27] The medication journey: an initial diagnosis, a worsening condition, and a specialized brain scan clinic
 
[17:07] How a corrected diagnosis and a supplement-based approach turned things around over about a year
 
[17:32] Larry shares his own 2017 hospitalization following extreme physical training and severe insomnia
 
[19:29] Reiterating connection over correction as the throughline of the advice
 
[19:51] Larry announces a rare, small-group preview of the Dad Edge Business Boardroom Brotherhood
 
[24:19] Closing advice: don't go through it alone, connect first, and remember that without connection there is no influence
 
 
 
Five Key Takeaways
 
 1. 

You don't have to be a mental health expert to support a struggling child, but you do have to know when to bring in someone who is. Recognizing the limits of your own expertise and connecting your family with the right specialist is itself an act of good fathering.
 2. 
 3. 

Connection has to come before correction. A struggling teenager often needs low-pressure time with a parent, free of goal-setting or serious conversation, far more than another conversation about fixing the problem.
 4. 
 5. 

Finding the right therapist matters as much as finding a therapist at all. A mismatch in chemistry or approach can make a child more resistant to help they genuinely need.
 6. 
 7. 

A diagnosis can be wrong, and it's worth getting a second opinion when treatment isn't working. A corrected diagnosis and a different treatment approach turned around a genuinely difficult, months-long decline.
 8. 
 9. 

You are not required to be blood related to be the father figure a child needs most. Consistent presence during a hard season is what a child remembers and trusts long after the season ends.
 10. 
 
 
 
Links & Resources
 
 • Get the full show notes and every link from this episode: 
https://thedadedge.com/1525 • Ready to stop feeling like roommates and start leading your marriage? Join the next Roommates to Soulmates cohort: 
https://thedadedge.com/soulmates • Know a dad with a story worth sharing, or want to be on the show yourself? Apply to be a guest: 
https://thedadedge.com/guest 
 
 
Closing
 
If you're a father in the middle of a season like the one Rich is walking through right now, please hear this: you don't have to have it figured out, and you don't have to do it alone. Get connected with people who know more than you do, keep showing up for the small, ordinary moments of connection, and trust that the fruit of your presence will show up even if you can't see it yet. Without connection, we have no influence, so lead with connection first, every time. Go out and live legendary.
 
If you or someone you know is struggling with thoughts of suicide, the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline is available 24/7 by calling or texting 988.

What to Do When Your Teen Is Struggling Mentally

Gentlemen, welcome to the fourth and final episode of this month's series with my wife Jessica, and I want to start by saying thank you for showing up for this one, since August actually had five Fridays this year, which means she recorded a full bonus episode she didn't have to do. Today we're tackling something that trips up more marriages than almost anything else: roles and expectations, and specifically, all the unspoken assumptions about who does what that quietly cause resentment when they're never actually talked about.
 
Jessica and I get into the finances first, how I took over bill paying for our first five years of marriage and, driven by my own anxiety around debt, paid things down so aggressively it actually put us in a bind more than once. We talk through why swapping our roles, me handling investing and her handling the day to day bills, ended up being the right fit for both of us, and why neither of us wants to trade back. From there we get into dinner, probably the single area that's caused us the most quiet frustration over the years, from Jessica's years of resentment doing all the cooking to the practical shift we finally made once we actually talked about it out loud instead of just enduring it.
 
We also open up about how we split the harder parenting conversations, why the sex talk with our boys has always fallen to me, and why Jessica has become the one I lean on for basically every other hard conversation in our house. I share what I've learned watching her approach conflict, calm, strategic, and incredibly well timed, compared to my own instinct to just react in the moment. We close out by talking through how we split up kids' sports and activities, and what boundaries actually held up over 22 years of marriage.
 
If your marriage has ever hit friction over who's supposed to be doing what, and you've never actually sat down and talked about it, this conversation is a real look at how two people figured that out over two decades together, including the parts that took way too long to fix.
 
 
 
Timeline Summary
 
[1:02] Introducing the fourth and final episode of the August series with Jessica
 
[12:56] Reflecting on last week's lower-energy episode and setting up today's topic: roles and expectations
 
[14:12] Larry announces Roommates to Soulmates cohort three, starting September 16th
 
[16:33] Why unspoken and unknown expectations are what actually trip couples up the most
 
[19:00] The early years of bill paying: Larry's aggressive debt payoff and the strain it caused
 
[21:52] Why paying bills stressed Larry out so deeply, no matter how much money was in the bank
 
[24:36] Checking in on whether Jessica still feels good about handling the bills 17 years later
 
[25:39] Introducing the second financial role: why Larry handles all the investing
 
[27:05] Larry's own journey from investing overwhelm to genuinely loving it today
 
[30:45] Confirming neither of them wants to trade financial roles, and why that alignment matters
 
[31:27] Introducing the dinner problem: why family meals can become a major source of strife
 
[32:52] The moment, about a year ago, Jessica finally said out loud that she hated cooking
 
[33:32] The fix: splitting cooking nights and having the non-cooking spouse handle cleanup
 
[37:55] Larry announces the first-ever Dad Edge Day with the Arizona Cardinals, November 15th
 
[42:22] Checking in on what Jessica would still change about how dinner works today
 
[43:24] Jessica's regret: never requiring the kids to eat what was served instead of making separate meals
 
[46:34] Why the sex talk role has always fallen to Larry, and how he approaches it with their boys
 
[52:36] Breaking down Jessica's calm, strategic approach to conflict versus Larry's reactive instinct
 
[57:14] A callback to an earlier, lighter moment in the series about Larry's past drinking
 
[1:00:49] How they split kids' sports and activities, and the assumptions each of them still carries
 
[1:03:22] What comes next: Jessica joining monthly, and how to submit topic ideas
 
[1:04:51] Introducing two free resources: 25 Intimate Conversation Starters and 21 Days to an Extraordinary Marriage
 
 
 
Five Key Takeaways
 
 1. 

Roles that feel natural today were often built through real trial and error, not instinct. Larry and Jessica swapped financial responsibilities after outside mentors pointed out they'd assigned them backward, and it took years to get right.
 2. 
 3. 

Resentment builds fastest around unspoken expectations. Nearly every friction point in their marriage, from bills to dinner, traces back to one person assuming a role the other person quietly grew to dread.
 4. 
 5. 

Sometimes the fix is simple once you finally say the hard thing out loud. Jessica's years of resentment around cooking dissolved almost immediately once she told Larry directly that she hated it, leading to a workable rotation within one conversation.
 6. 
 7. 

Timing matters as much as the message when addressing conflict. Jessica's approach of waiting for a calm moment, rather than confronting an issue in the heat of frustration, consistently produces a better outcome than reacting immediately.
 8. 
 9. 

Roles don't have to be permanent or symmetrical to work. Twenty-two years in, the goal isn't a perfectly even split of every responsibility, it's each person operating in the role that actually fits them, while staying willing to revisit it when it's not working.
 10. 
 
 
 
Links & Resources
 
 • Shownotes for this episode: 
http://thedadedge.com/1524 • Roommates to Soulmates (Larry's 8-week marriage coaching cohort; next cohort starts September 16th, with free preview calls): 
http://thedadedge.com/soulmates • The Dad Edge Day at State Farm Stadium (Arizona Cardinals vs. Los Angeles Rams, November 15): 
https://thedadedge.com/nfl 
 Closing
 
Wrapping up this series, what stands out most is that Jessica and I don't have this figured out because we never struggled, we have it figured out because we finally stopped avoiding the hard conversations about who does what and why. Every role we've settled into came from a real conversation, sometimes an overdue one, not from assuming the other person would just handle it or just deal with it forever. If something in your own marriage has quietly been building resentment because nobody's actually said it out loud, let this be the nudge to finally have that conversation. Go out and live legendary.

The Unspoken Expectations Quietly Wrecking Your Marriage featuring Jessica & Larry Hagner

Dean Pohlman is an authority on Yoga for Men, developing programs with physical therapists for back health and spinal recovery. He authored the bestselling "Yoga Fitness for Men" and co-produced the "Body by Yoga" DVD series, with his work featured in major fitness publications. Married with two children, Dean applies insights from marriage counseling to maintain strong relationships, emphasizing emotional support and mindful breathing to manage stress.
 
Today, Dean Pohlman takes us through his personal struggles, from feeling "not good enough" to learning how to handle big emotions and the role of anger as a defense mechanism. We explore how he and his wife navigated the challenges of marriage, parenting differences, and grief with the help of couples counseling, ultimately finding stronger communication tools and emotional safety.
 
This episode is packed with relatable anecdotes and valuable insights into managing patience and presence, with practical tips from Dean's yoga expertise. Tune in to discover how embracing mindfulness and emotional awareness can enhance your relationships and your role as a dad.
 
www.thedadedge.com/friday175
 
www.thedadedge.com/alliance
 
Instagram | Man Flow Yoga 
 
Get $30 OFF Man Flow Yoga by using code "DADEDGE"

What Yoga Taught This Dad ft. Dean Pohlman

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