The Dad Edge Podcast

How We Make Our Marriage Work With Four Kids and a Business featuring Larry & Jessica HagnerLarry is back with his wife Jessica for the third installment of their Friday couples series, and this one tackles the quiet killer of long marriages: the drift. That slow slide where you get so buried in kids, sports, work, and the house that you look up years later and realize you lost each other somewhere along the way. Married 22 years, they're honest that they've hit those valleys too, and this episode is about how they catch it and climb back out. Larry opens up about being the avoidant one early on, walking away from hard conversations because it felt selfless when it was actually disconnecting. From there he and Jessica map the exact tools that interrupt the drift: telling your partner what's in your head so they don't assume it's them, the six-second hug that resets everything, the safety that lets you give hard feedback, and the certainty of saying "I need an hour, but I'll be back." If your marriage feels more like two ships passing in the night, this is a practical way back to each other. Timeline Summary [1:01] – Spinning in different orbits and what it means to interrupt the drift [2:03] – Jessica's first solo episode goes live and the nerves around it [3:47] – How couples drift: five years pass and the connection is just gone [5:05] – Larry owning that he was the avoidant one who'd walk away or sleep downstairs [6:32] – Why walking away felt selfless but was actually selfish and disconnecting [6:50] – Jessica's ask: take your space, but tell me it's not about me and you'll be back [7:39] – The neighbor at the fire pit and the garage door scam that sent him inward [9:49] – What's really happening in a man's head: the shoulds that make it worse [11:01] – The real-world date day where Larry chose to say "actually, that's a lie, I'm challenged" [12:45] – The stories men tell themselves: it's stupid, it'll go away, I'll burden her [14:15] – Wanting connection but doing the one thing that disconnects [14:58] – Jessica's gift: reading people and diffusing tension with a hug [17:23] – Letting women off the hook on nagging, and how to poke with love not gaslighting [18:17] – The six-second hug, oxytocin, and being found out when she hugs him [22:12] – What Jessica needs as a stay-at-home mom: reassurance and connection [24:08] – The certainty of a repair: 30 minutes versus a whole sucky day [24:30] – Last fall's drift, Larry's most impatient season, and asking for feedback [26:25] – The three breadcrumbs: safety, certainty, and repair [27:28] – Why Jessica felt safe enough to give feedback that would land rough [28:14] – Choosing words wisely and avoiding always and never [30:32] – Young and green on relationship dynamics in the early years [31:01] – Marriage as the stock market: valleys and peaks with no tolerance to stay down [33:15] – Honesty and ownership celebrated, not punished, for kids and spouses alike [35:11] – Being held to a higher standard in your worst moments and feeling safe [37:18] – The certainty of "I'll be back in an hour" versus being forced to hash it out now [41:00] – Jessica on why she'd rather cool off than fight in a heated moment [42:38] – Taking pause and the 24-hour rule before responding when triggered [44:22] – Love languages and approaching each kid differently [45:04] – The coaching example: "why did you do X" versus "tell me about that" [47:28] – Meeting each other with compassion and curiosity, not accusation [47:50] – The power of we, plus the Colton-in-pajamas assumption Larry got wrong [49:37] – How they make time for the marriage with four kids and a business [52:26] – Zero tolerance for mediocre and refusing to just exist [53:22] – Why kids feel warm and safe when the marriage is a priority [55:03] – Setting the standard for how their sons should treat a partner [1:02:37] – A teaser for next week: intimacy and finances, the two big resentment topics 5 Key Takeaways Name What's In Your Head 1. — When you go quiet and inward, your partner and kids often assume they're the problem. Telling them what's actually going on, even when it feels stupid or burdensome, is the difference between connection and drift. Take Space, But Give Certainty 2. — Walking away without a word breeds anxiety and uncertainty. Saying "I need an hour to process, but I'll be back to talk about this" lets you cool off while promising your partner the conversation isn't over. The Six-Second Hug Resets Everything 3. — A real, drawn-out hug, not a quick pat, releases the oxytocin that brings peace and diffuses tension. Learning to read when your partner needs that connection is a gift you can give daily. Make Feedback Safe 4. — People only give honest feedback when they trust it won't be met with defensiveness or explosion. Choosing words carefully, avoiding always and never, and holding your partner to a higher standard in their worst moments keeps that safety intact. Have Zero Tolerance for the Valley 5. — Every marriage has peaks and valleys like the stock market. What keeps it strong isn't avoiding the dips, it's refusing to accept staying there, and proactively cultivating connection even in the busy, exhausted seasons. Links & Resources • Episode page and all links: https://thedadedge.com/1520 • Roommates to Soulmates (cohort 3, eight-week program, starts September 16, free preview calls September 8 and 9): http://thedadedge.com/soulmates • 25 Intimate Conversation Starters (free PDF and video training): https://thedadedge.com/25questions • Dad Edge Day with the Arizona Cardinals (November 15, Cardinals vs Rams, State Farm Stadium): https://thedadedge.com/nfl Enjoyed This Episode? If "spinning in different orbits" describes where you and your spouse are right now, pick one tool from this episode and use it this week. Tell your partner what's actually in your head instead of saying "I'm fine," or give them a real six-second hug the next time you can feel the tension. If the show keeps delivering, follow, rate, and leave a review so more fathers can find these conversations.

1536|1T 8M

The Situational Awareness Skills Every Dad Should Teach His Family featuring Sam RosenbergSam Rosenberg has spent his career protecting some of the most recognized people on the planet, heads of state, CEOs, and celebrities including Warren Buffett, Benjamin Netanyahu, and Tom Cruise. A former Marine Corps officer who moved into close protection in 1996, he's since shifted his focus to teaching ordinary people the same skills he used to guard public figures, through his company Live Ready and his bestselling book of the same name. He's trained tens of thousands of people to recognize threats before they become emergencies. This one is a genuine masterclass in personal safety, and Sam's philosophy anchors it: it's good to have a lifeguard, but you should know how to swim. He and Larry get into why violence is never actually random, how to read a parking lot, the acronym TIME that maps how attackers operate, the normalcy bias that keeps good people from trusting their gut, and persuasion predators, the charming, manipulative threats every dad with a daughter needs to understand. If you want to protect the people who matter most without living in fear, this episode delivers the tools. Timeline Summary [1:02] – Protecting Netanyahu, the chess match, and embedding covert protection in a crowd [4:35] – Tom Cruise in Pittsburgh and why he was one of the best to work with [6:23] – How you even land a gig protecting someone at that level [8:12] – Protecting Terry Bradshaw at the NFL draft, and why it's all word of mouth [12:36] – The core philosophy: it's good to have a lifeguard, but you should know how to swim [14:51] – Sam's full bio, the Marine Corps, Live Ready, and the book [16:34] – Situational awareness starts with our wives in parking lots [20:04] – The myth of helplessness and the myth of randomness [21:44] – Why violence is a process as predictable as boiling water [22:38] – Attacks happen on arrival and departure, and every environment has a purpose [24:10] – Watching for the watchers, and the New York City looking up analogy [26:30] – The creepy guy vibe and why we hunt for evidence to dismiss it [27:42] – Social contracting, bias, and how it blinds us to real danger [30:13] – Normalcy bias: the brain's desire for everything to be normal [32:04] – Breaking down a real, sophisticated parking lot kidnapping on video [35:36] – The simple bow: trust your intuition even without all the evidence [37:12] – What that woman could have noticed, and the double-tap unlock habit [43:14] – The TIME acronym: target selection, intelligence, method of attack, escape [46:16] – Why street criminals run the same process as terrorists [49:17] – Can you avoid being targeted? You can influence it, not always prevent it [52:04] – Charlie Kirk, Butler, and why it has to be stopped in advance [53:27] – Recognizing the interview means you've already been selected [56:16] – Hard target versus soft target, and why gimmicks don't work [57:29] – The undercover story: why street-smart observers saw through his disguise [1:02:47] – Willingness and ability are all it takes to be a hard target [1:04:31] – What bad guys are truly afraid of: failure [1:08:55] – Persuasion predators, masters of charm and disguise [1:10:31] – Reframing charm: ask why is this person trying to charm me [1:11:56] – No is a complete sentence, and the veils of denial [1:13:54] – Sociopaths, the pity play, and the puppy law used on children 5 Key Takeaways Violence Is a Process, Not Random 1. — Attacks follow an observable, predictable sequence. Learning to spot the pattern, especially during arrival and departure moments, is what lets you get ahead of danger instead of reacting to it. Watch for the Watchers 2. — Every environment has a purpose. Scan left to right for anomalies, people not using the space for its intended purpose, and notice who's watching who's coming and going. That awareness alone makes you a harder target. Trust Your Radar Over Normalcy Bias 3. — Good people talk themselves out of intuitive warnings because they can't find hard evidence or don't want to seem judgmental. When something feels off, that unease is data. Default to it and remove yourself from the situation. Recognize the Interview 4. — When a stranger approaches you in an anomalous moment, that's an interview, and it means you've already been selected as a target. How you manage that interaction, with the right body language and enough force, often determines whether an attack proceeds. Reframe Charm and Hold the Line on No 5. — Teach daughters to ask why is this person trying to charm me rather than being flattered. No is a complete sentence, and anyone who pushes past it is signaling they care only about what they want. A pity play after being caught in lies is a massive red flag. Links & Resources • Episode page and all links: https://thedadedge.com/1517 • Sam Rosenberg's company, LiveReady: https://www.liveready.co/ • Live Ready • by Sam Rosenberg (the book): https://www.liveready.co/book • LiveReady on YouTube (situational awareness and attack breakdowns): https://www.youtube.com/@LiveReadyCo • LiveReady on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/livereadyco • LiveReady on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/LiveReadyCo • LiveReady on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/LiveReadyCo/ • LiveReady personal training: https://www.liveready.co/training • Dad Edge Day with the Arizona Cardinals (November 15, Cardinals vs Rams, State Farm Stadium): https://thedadedge.com/nfl • Roommates to soulmates thedadedge.com/soulmates Enjoyed This Episode? If Sam's breakdown of that parking lot attack made you look at your own routine differently, put one habit to work this week. Get your head up and off your phone during those arrival and departure moments, and have the charm and no conversation with your daughter. If the show keeps delivering, follow, rate, and leave a review so more fathers can find these conversations.

1533|1T 23M

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