The Dad Edge Podcast

Episodes

• How Your Relationship With Yourself Shapes Every Other Relationship featuring Traver BoehmTraver Boehm is back on the show for the third time, and I still remember his first story like it was yesterday. He's a former professional MMA fighter and bodyguard with a master's degree in traditional Chinese medicine, a hospice volunteer, more than 11 years sober, and the founder of the Uncivilized movement. He's the author of Today I Rise, Uncivilized, and 28 Days in Darkness, and he has now spent 77 days of his life in complete darkness, including 49 straight days in a dark room in Tuscany with no phone, no people, and no clock. We talk about what it takes to stop running from yourself, the fragmentation I see in so many men, and the morning a phrase landed so hard that Traver dropped to his knees. We also get honest about suicide, why men need to pick up the phone, and what a relationship with yourself does for your marriage and your kids. If you're a dad who feels the drift of busyness and wonders who you really are underneath it, this conversation is for you. Timeline Summary [1:01] Larry welcomes Traver Boehm back for his third time on the show [4:32] Larry introduces Traver: MMA fighter, bodyguard, hospice volunteer, 11 years sober, and 77 days in the dark [6:01] How 2016 brought a lost pregnancy, a divorce, and a lost business, and the question of who he was as a man [8:27] Fragmentation: the man everyone sees, the man his family sees, and the man nobody sees [10:26] Why Traver felt called back into the dark after his father died [11:49] The call about his cousin's death that pushed him to write his book and go back into darkness [19:09] Terror and acceptance: why a true initiation has to carry the risk of a breakdown [23:04] A message to men in dark times: pick up the phone, because we want you to reach out [28:52] The mantra One Life, All In: why a man is meant to live one life, not a public, private, and secret one [30:35] The morning a word came to him while pacing the dark mile and dropped him to his knees [36:34] Day 45: the hardest morning of the 49 days, and the guide who sensed it from afar [46:44] Walking out on day 49: the sunrise, birds, and tears after seven weeks without light [50:20] Welcome back to reality: credit card fraud, a rough landing, and a year of reorganizing [54:32] The core lesson: your relationship with yourself changes every other relationship [57:13] Questions every father should answer, and why kids need a dad who knows himself [1:00:52] Larry on human doing versus human being, and what he avoids with distraction Key Takeaways 1. You don't have to wait for a crisis to ask who you are as a man, and one quiet hour with yourself is a good place to start. 2. Keeping the public, private, and secret versions of yourself apart drains your energy, and living one life gives it back. 3. If you're in a dark place, pick up the phone and tell someone, because the people who love you would rather hear from you than lose you. 4. Everything you build on top of a relationship with yourself is a bonus, and chasing success to fill that void never works. 5. Your kids get a better father when you can honestly answer what you want and whether this is the life you want to live. Links & Resources • 28 Days in Darkness by Traver Boehm: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=28+days+in+darkness • • Dad Edge Alliance (October Bonuses): https://thedadedge.com/join • Dad Edge Day at State Farm Stadium: https://thedadedge.com/nfl • The Dad Edge Podcast: https://thedadedge.com/1541 Closing Traver said the most important relationship we have is the one with ourselves, and I've been asking myself those same questions ever since we stopped recording. I told him I can't sit still for 30 minutes, and that tells me I have some work to do on what I'm avoiding with distraction. So this week, take one hour, ask the man in the mirror how he's really doing, and ask your wife whether she's happy. And if you're in a dark place right now, call someone today. Go out and live legendary.

  1559|1T 7M
• Why 70% of the Mental Load Still Falls on Mom When Raising a Family featuring Sam KellyThis week I talked with Sam Kelly, a mom of three, a master's-level art therapy counselor, and the creator of Little Cycle Breakers, about the mental load, the invisible, exhausting job of noticing everything that needs to be done in a house before anyone else even sees it. Sam spent over a year trying to get her husband to share that load the old way, more chore charts, more reminders, more managing, before she realized she was just teaching her own kids to wait for instructions too. That realization became "notice and do," the framework at the center of her brand new book, and the idea we spend most of this conversation digging into. This one gets real, and it's not just for moms. Sam and I get into what dads are actually missing when it comes to invisible labor, why chore charts and reward systems tend to fail, how to teach a five-year-old to notice a full trash can without becoming "the manager" forever, and a section where I push her on how men and women can both actually feel heard instead of attacked when these conversations get hard. If you've ever felt like you're just waiting for the next assignment in your own house, or you're the one handing them out, this episode is for you. Timeline Summary [2:15] Sam and Larry discuss the hate she gets online whenever a post about partners goes viral, and how this is her first podcast interview with a man [4:12] Larry reads Sam's full bio: her art therapy background, Little Cycle Breakers, and her new book, Notice and Do [7:53] Sam explains which topics tend to trigger men the most, especially content about partners rather than kids [9:20] Sam introduces the idea of a "mental privilege" gap between how men and women are culturally conditioned [13:29] Larry shares a story about trying to recreate his wife's artwork, and admits he never learned "notice and do" growing up [15:24] Sam points out couples spend roughly 1,500 hours preparing for a wedding and about three hours preparing for the marriage [19:26] Larry asks how women can raise the mental load without it turning into an attack, and Sam reframes rage as desperation to be seen [23:18] Larry raises the flip side, men who don't feel physically wanted, and Sam responds that women don't owe their partner sex, but both partners deserve to feel seen [27:19] Sam cites the statistic that women still carry roughly 70 percent of a household's cognitive labor [30:13] Larry shares his own "what can I help you with" habit and how he shifted to noticing and offering specific choices instead [42:19] Sam walks through the "noticing walk," her core method for teaching kids what to notice room by room [46:18] Larry has an on-air realization that he's never taken his own sons through a notice exercise in 20 years of fatherhood [48:30] Sam shares her son's "carry the mental load" line in a public restroom, and a sixth grader's school "mental load" comment [50:57] Sam explains the notice and do structure was built with her own neurodivergent, ADHD family in mind [55:09] Sam and Larry compare how their own households divide bigger recurring responsibilities instead of splitting every task [1:00:06] Sam shares where to find her on Instagram and how to get Notice and Do Five Key Takeaways 1. The mental load is a whole-family issue, not just a partner issue, so kids need to learn it too, not just adults. 2. A woman's anger about the mental load is usually desperation to be seen, not an attack. 3. Notice and do beats chore charts because it teaches kids to spot what needs doing, not just complete a task on command. 4. Couples spend roughly 1,500 hours planning a wedding and about three planning the actual marriage. 5. Dividing bigger recurring responsibilities, instead of splitting every single task, takes the mental load off just one partner's plate. Links & Resources • Sam Kelly (Instagram): https://www.instagram.com/samkelly_world • Notice and Do (Sam's book) on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/0063460912 • Dad Edge Alliance (October Bonuses): https://thedadedge.com/join • Dad Edge Day at State Farm Stadium: https://thedadedge.com/nfl • The Dad Edge Podcast: https://thedadedge.com/1542 Closing Sam didn't let either of us off easy in this one, and that's exactly why it mattered. The moment that's going to stick with me is admitting on air that I've been a dad for 20 years and never once walked my own boys through a notice exercise, something as simple as pointing at a trash can and saying "here's the line." If this conversation made you want to stop managing your house and start teaching it, go take your own kids on a noticing walk this week. Go out and live legendary.

  1558|1T 1M
• How to Raise Confident Kids Who Take Life Seriously featuring Jordan RaynorThis week I sat down with Jordan Raynor, a bestselling author, serial entrepreneur, and one of the leading voices in the faith and work movement. Jordan wrote Called to Create, Redeeming Your Time, The Creator in You, and his newest book, Redeeming Your Goals, and he's the executive chairman of Threshold 360 after stepping down as CEO to write full time. He has been married since 2009, is a dad to three daughters, and he asks a much better question than most goal-setting gurus: who are we becoming while we chase these goals? We started with the all-boys versus all-girls dad debate, and I told the story of a sold-out daddy daughter retreat that left me with serious FOMO. From there we got into the Tim Keller book that changed Jordan's faith, the day his kids' drawings of the family left him out and he gave his board 15 months notice, and the nightly ritual that keeps his phone out of his hands from 5 p.m. to 6:37 a.m. If you're a dad who wants to stop compartmentalizing your faith, your work, and your family, this one is for you. Timeline Summary [1:01] Larry welcomes Jordan, and the two compare life raising all girls versus all boys [2:25] Larry shares how a sold-out daddy daughter retreat with 12 dads and 12 daughters became his favorite event [10:27] Larry introduces Jordan: bestselling author, serial entrepreneur, and faith and work voice [12:23] Jordan explains how he became a Google Fellow running a political tech company [13:58] Jordan on his faith, his first campaign at 17, and why he left politics for entrepreneurship [18:23] Jordan credits Tim Keller and The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness with changing how he follows Jesus [22:05] Jordan tells the story of meeting his wife at Florida State and two years in the friend zone [28:56] Jordan on writing his first book, Called to Create, and betting on himself as a full-time writer [33:05] Why Jordan gave his board 15 months notice as CEO after his kids drew family pictures without him [38:12] Why Jordan refuses to compartmentalize faith, marriage, parenting, and work [42:11] Two practical steps: remember God cares about your work, and pray in short silent moments all day [44:08] Jordan's phone ritual: no phone from 5 p.m. to 6:37 a.m. so his kids see his full presence [50:27] A study showing kids run the bases faster and make fewer mistakes when parents aren't on their phones [51:56] Redeeming Your Goals: seven principles, 58 practices, a no template, and kill criteria for strategic quitting [57:00] Jordan's family goal to love like Jesus, and his 12-year-old raising money to send two orphans to college [1:03:23] Jordan shares where to find him and how preordering Redeeming Your Goals enters you to win $4,000 Five Key Takeaways 1. God cares about your work, so you don't have to live in separate worlds for your faith, your job, and your family. 2. Short, silent prayers throughout the workday, even a sticky note that says pray, invite God into ordinary work. 3. Turn your phone into a landline after work, and your kids get your presence instead of your leftover attention. 4. Set kill criteria for a goal or strategy ahead of time, so you quit on purpose instead of on emotion. 5. Write down a family goal and review it every quarter, because confident kids come from a clear target and a loving example. Links & Resources • Jordan Raynor: https://jordanraynor.com • Redeeming Your Goals (preorder before October 16 to enter the $4,000 giveaway): https://jordanraynor.com/redeeming-your-goals • The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness by Tim Keller: https://gospelinlife.com/book/the-freedom-of-self-forgetfulness • Dad Edge Alliance (October Bonuses): https://thedadedge.com/join • Dad Edge Day at State Farm Stadium: https://thedadedge.com/nfl • The Dad Edge Podcast: https://thedadedge.com/1549 Closing Jordan said he can't imagine a more valuable present to give his kids than his presence, and that line has stayed with me. I've watched a mom at my son's soccer game barely look up while her little boy banged on the glass for attention, and I don't want to be that dad for even one day. If this conversation moved you, pick two hours tonight, put your phone in another room, and give your family everything you've got. Go out and live legendary.

  1556|1T 5M
• Why Apologizing to Your Kids Builds Trust, Not Weakness featuring Adam UkmanThis week I sat down with Adam Ukman, the founder of The Dads Initiative, a media company built entirely around a question almost nobody else in men's media is asking: where's the content for the normal dad? About a year ago, Adam launched The Dads Initiative after noticing men's media split into two toxic lanes, anger and blame, and set out to build a third lane for guys just trying to show up and do their best. His team surveyed more than 1,300 fathers and found that when asked which father figure in media actually reflects who they are, the most common answer was "nobody," a gap his shows, like the confidence-focused Reset Mode and the golf-and-life show Cart Talk, are built to fill. This is also just a deeply personal conversation. Adam lives in Fort Collins, Colorado, has been married to his wife, Jessica, for over a decade, and is dad to a three-year-old son named Noah. We get into the alter egos he leans on as a father, including a surprising nod to Jonathan Roumie's portrayal of Jesus in The Chosen, the mentor who taught him that confidence starts with keeping your word to yourself, and the simple, unglamorous rituals, a standing Thursday lunch date, a Friday afternoon date day, that keep his marriage on the front burner instead of the back burner. Timeline Summary [1:44] Adam joins Larry, and the two dive right into the mission behind The Dads Initiative, which Adam launched about a year earlier [3:25] Adam shares that he lives in Fort Collins, Colorado [6:36] Larry introduces Adam's full story: over a decade of marriage, a son named Noah, and a media company built around content for men who happen to be fathers, not more parenting lectures [9:27] Larry and Adam discuss the loneliness so many men report and the need for men's media to offer "better company" [12:16] Adam breaks down why triggering, divisive content gets rewarded by social algorithms while hopeful, genuine content struggles to break through [18:43] Adam introduces his research study of more than 1,300 fathers on how they experience their own identity and fatherhood in the media [20:28] The study's most common answer for a father figure in media who reflects them was "nobody," with only Bluey's dad, Bandit, and Pa from Little House on the Prairie standing out as exceptions [23:05] Study finding: two-thirds of dads said they'd rather be seen as a strong, independent, protective provider than simply a kind, caring one [30:28] Adam walks through Todd Herman's Alter Ego Effect framework and the archetypes he personally draws on as a father, including Jonathan Roumie's portrayal of Jesus in The Chosen for compassion and calm [35:29] Adam highlights The Dads Initiative's golf show, Cart Talk, hosted by Paul Sullivan, and a recent episode featuring golf writer Tom Coyne on his decade of sobriety [42:18] Adam shares a mentor's lesson that confidence starts with keeping your word to yourself and others [46:34] Adam reflects on what he wants his three-year-old son, Noah, to "catch" from watching him: decency, curiosity, and respect [57:12] Adam and Larry talk about modeling apology and ownership for their kids instead of avoiding it [1:03:12] Adam describes protecting his marriage with a standing Thursday lunch date and a longer Friday afternoon date day [1:05:33] Adam references the book Us, by therapist Terrence Real, on making relationship decisions as a unit rather than as individuals [1:10:26] Adam shares where to find The Dads Initiative and its Substack, and closes with the episode number for the show notes Five Key Takeaways 1. Most dads don't need another lecture, they need better company, which is the whole reason Adam built The Dads Initiative. 2. Confidence starts with keeping your word to yourself, not just intending to. 3. An interested dad is the most interesting dad on the block, curiosity beats lecturing every time. 4. Protecting your marriage takes an actual calendar entry, not just good intentions. 5. Apologizing to your kids builds more respect, not less. Links & Resources • The Dads Initiative: https://www.dadsinitiative.com • The Dad Edge Podcast: https://thedadedge.com/1546 Closing Adam's not out here trying to convince anyone he's got fatherhood figured out. He's the guy who still gets dragged some mornings, who's had to rebuild his marriage's front burner on purpose, and who apologizes to his own three-year-old rather than pull rank. If this conversation reminded you that showing up imperfectly still counts as showing up, go set your own Thursday lunch date. Go out and live legendary.

  1555|1T 12M
• The Five Pillars That Rebuilt My Marriage featuring Justin PickeringJustin Pickering spent nearly two decades in U.S. Army Special Forces, retiring as a Green Beret Sergeant Major with the 7th Special Forces Group, earning a Purple Heart and five Bronze Stars along the way. He's now an entrepreneur, real estate investor, and author of The Deliberate Mindset, a book built from his own collapse and recovery after coming home from his final deployment. In this episode, Justin joins Larry to talk about the moment his youngest son didn't recognize him after his final deployment, the flashback that sent him to check himself into a psychological care program, and the five pillars he built to rebuild his marriage and fatherhood from the ground up. Timeline Summary [2:12] Larry opens with the moment Justin's youngest son, then five years old, looked at him after his final deployment and asked, "Who are you?" [5:34] Justin's middle son, seven at the time, tells him he wishes he had died overseas after a week of nonstop new discipline at home. [8:25] Justin describes why combat felt peaceful to him: one task, one standard, and a clear drill for every threat. [11:40] Justin shares that he was depressed, medicated, and losing friends to suicide, and started wondering if he'd be the next statistic. [13:05] Justin explains how watching elite Green Berets take their own lives led him to build the blueprint that became his book. [15:06] Larry formally introduces Justin's record: two decades in Army Special Forces, a Green Beret Sergeant Major, a Purple Heart, and five Bronze Stars. [20:47] Justin begins the story of his breaking point, a 30 day span that changed everything. [22:51] During a disagreement on the family farm, Justin has a flashback and mistakes his 12 year old son for a disrespectful Afghan elder. [24:44] Justin drives himself straight to base afterward and checks into the psychological performance program. [25:05] Justin initially refuses medication, having watched his mother's lifelong struggle with pill addiction end in her death. [25:59] Blood work reveals extremely high cortisol levels, explaining why Justin was constantly on edge after multiple deployments. [27:26] Justin introduces the five pillars behind his recovery: gratitude, framing and reframing, controlling the controllable, action over perfection, and the power of words and thoughts. [27:45] Justin admits he later stopped his medication cold turkey without telling his wife or his doctor, a decision he's explicit about not recommending to anyone else. [35:04] Justin shares how reframing "I have to" into "I get to" changed his relationship with his kids, starting with school drop off. [1:02:57] Justin tells the story of a blown trailer tire on the drive home from Florida, and how his new mindset replaced "Pickering luck" with gratitude. [1:07:05] Justin shares where to find his book, his business, and his weekly newsletter, The Sunday Compass. Five Key Takeaways Coming home can be its own deployment. Justin says combat felt simpler than fatherhood because it had clear tasks and standards. Reentry doesn't come with a manual, and that gap is where a lot of men get lost. Watch for the moment you stop feeling anything at all. Justin describes years on medication where he wasn't angry, but he also wasn't happy, sad, or anything else. Numb is not the same as healed. The five pillars are simple on purpose: gratitude, reframing, controlling the controllable, action over perfection, and watching your words. None of them are new. What matters is actually doing them. A single word swap can change a relationship. Justin changed "I have to take the kids to school" to "I get to take the kids to school," and silent car rides turned into conversations his kids will remember for decades. Never stop medication or change a treatment plan without your doctor. Justin is explicit that going cold turkey off his prescription without telling his wife or his doctor was the wrong way to do it, even though it worked out for him. Links & Resources The Deliberate Mindset: https://www.amazon.com/Deliberate-Mindset-Overthinking-Resilience-Intentional/dp/B0GXMTCWSX The Deliberate Blueprint: https://deliberateblueprint.com Find Justin on Facebook/Instagram: https://www.facebook.com/justin.pickering.927/, https://www.instagram.com/thedeliberateblueprint/ Dad Edge Alliance (October Bonuses): https://thedadedge.com/join Dad Edge Day at State Farm Stadium: https://thedadedge.com/nfl The Dad Edge Podcast: https://thedadedge.com/1539 Closing Justin's story is proof that the strongest men still break, and that breaking isn't the end of the story. The dad who once told his own son "I'm going to have to defend myself" is the same dad now driving his kids to school and calling it a gift instead of a chore. If anything in this episode hit close to home, whether it's PTSD, a mental health crisis, or the loss of someone to suicide, the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline (call or text 988) is there any time you need to talk to someone. Go out and live legendary.

  1554|1T 9M
• What Happens When Success Stops Feeling Like Enough featuring John R. MilesJohn R. Miles is a Naval Academy graduate, combat veteran, and former Fortune 500 executive who went on to found Passion Struck and write Passion Struck and the upcoming The Mattering Effect: Creating a Life of Meaning and Worth, a Next Big Idea Club selection curated by Susan Cain, Malcolm Gladwell, Daniel Pink, and Adam Grant. In this episode, John joins Larry to talk about what he calls "the slow fade," the quiet erosion that happens when a man's sense of worth gets tied entirely to what he produces. He shares the story of walking in on an armed intruder in his own home, the friend's suicide that reshaped his life, and the two questions he believes every man should be asking himself about whether he feels valued and who he surrounds himself with. Timeline Summary [1:02] Larry introduces John's resume: Naval Academy, combat veteran, Booz Allen, Arthur Andersen, Fortune 500 C-suite roles, and multiple CEO positions. [3:24] Larry names the turning point in John's story: reaching a state he calls "quiet desperation" despite external success. [4:14] Larry introduces John's current work as founder of Passion Struck, bestselling author, and podcast host. [8:10] John explains how a stalled FBI application during a government budget standoff pushed him into Booz Allen and management consulting instead. [13:24] A chance conversation at a conference leads John to a $5 million contract building flight simulation training for Navy and Marine Corps pilots. [20:12] John describes hitting a breaking point as an EVP at Catalina Marketing, facing a $100 million problem with a fraction of that in funding. [22:48] John defines "the slow fade," the concept from his book describing how people quietly disappear from their own lives. [27:53] John recounts walking in on an armed intruder inside his home shortly after his divorce. [28:58] Three days after that break-in, a close friend died by suicide, a turning point that led John to start Passion Struck. [38:07] John breaks down the structure of The Mattering Effect: the first three chapters diagnose the problem, the rest offers a way back. [39:30] John explains the difference between global and specific self-esteem, and why success in one area of life doesn't guarantee feeling valued in another. [41:28] John cites Cornell regret research and Bronnie Ware's hospice work: most people's biggest regret is never becoming who they wanted to be. [47:20] John shares the two questions he thinks every man should ask: are you feeling valued, and are you adding value? [49:40] John introduces "the Mosquito Principle," his framework for identifying and setting boundaries with draining people. [57:15] John shares where to find his book, his coaching, and the Passion Struck podcast. Five Key Takeaways 1. Success and feeling valued are two different things. You can check every external box, title, income, achievements, and still feel like you're disappearing, because self-esteem in one area of life doesn't transfer to the areas that matter most. 2. Watch for "the slow fade." Nobody wakes up one day and decides to disappear from their own life. It happens gradually, through years of being useful without being seen, until you don't feel as alive as you used to. 3. Ask yourself two questions regularly: are you feeling valued, and are you adding value? Most high-performing men are excellent at the second and starving for the first. 4. Identify the "mosquitoes" in your life, the people who quietly drain you, and set boundaries with them. You don't have to keep environments or relationships that only take. 5. What you don't deal with gets passed down. John's own kids noticed his emotional absence before he did. If you're checked out, your children see it as their mirror, whether you realize it or not. Links & Resources • The Mattering Effect: https://matteringeffect.com • Passion Struck: https://passionstruck.com • John R. Miles: https://johnrmiles.com • Dad Edge Day at State Farm Stadium: https://thedadedge.com/nfl • The Dad Edge Podcast: https://thedadedge.com/1537 Closing John's story is a gut check for any man who's been rewarded for being useful while quietly disappearing on the inside. The moment his own son asked him why he never laughed anymore says more than any resume ever could. If this episode brought up something heavier for you, you don't have to carry it alone. The 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline (call or text 988) is available any time you need to talk to someone. Go out and live legendary.

  1553|59M
• The Financial Drift Nobody Warns New Dads About featuring Chris SchuettChris Schuett is a Brooklyn dad of two, the COO of Little Cinema, and the author of You Are Now the CFO of a Very Small Family, where he writes about what he calls "the financial drift," the slow, unintentional neglect of a family's financial foundation. He's also the writer behind the New Family CFO newsletter, sharing what he's learned building his own financial system from scratch. In this episode, Chris joins Larry to unpack why dads put off wills, life insurance, and college savings until "later" quietly becomes years, how to talk to your spouse about money without triggering a fight, and why identifying your family's core values makes financial decisions dramatically easier. Larry also shares the story of paying off $95,000 in debt in five years, and how it nearly sent his wife into a grocery store panic because he never looped her in. Timeline Summary [1:02] Chris joins from Brooklyn and the two swap hometown food takes, landing on Texas barbecue over Chicago pizza. [9:32] Larry introduces Chris as the author of You Are Now the CFO of a Very Small Family and writer of the New Family CFO newsletter. [11:12] Larry names the concept at the heart of the episode: "the financial drift," the slow neglect that turns one exhausted night into years. [13:25] Chris defines the financial drift and traces it back to writing his book after three years of getting his own finances in order. [15:32] Chris explains the drift isn't laziness. Urgent daily tasks always beat important but invisible ones like a will or life insurance. [16:18] Chris and Larry compare notes on never being taught personal finance in school, only learning it later through trial and error. [19:36] Chris describes texting a finance-industry friend at 4 or 5 a.m. to ask the "ignorant" money questions he was embarrassed to ask anyone else. [27:08] Larry shares paying off $95,000 in debt in five years using Dave Ramsey's method, without looping his wife in on the plan first. [28:17] Larry's wife is left with $150 in checking and no idea why, a story he uses to show what happens when money isn't communicated. [29:31] Chris says the worst way to start a money conversation is pulling up bank statements. Start with feelings first, numbers second. [36:16] Chris describes helping a friend buy his first property by focusing on the friend's goals instead of comparing income or net worth. [40:07] Chris and Larry connect financial decisions to a shared vision, and how couples often never actually align on what that vision is. [54:14] Chris walks through his family's core values (connection, environment, adventure) and how they make spending decisions almost automatic. [1:01:37] Chris points listeners to the New Family CFO Substack and his book, available on Amazon in Kindle and paperback. Five Key Takeaways 1. The financial drift happens to almost every dad. It's not that you're ignoring your family's finances on purpose, it's that urgent daily tasks always crowd out the important but invisible ones, like a will or life insurance, until years have quietly gone by. 2. Don't open a money conversation with bank statements. Start by asking your spouse how they're feeling about your finances first. Leading with numbers turns the conversation into an audit, and audits start fights. 3. You only have two ways to create more money in your life: increase your income or decrease your expenses. Once you accept that, you can stop guessing and start deciding where your finite balance actually goes. 4. Know your family's core values before you make big financial calls. When Chris and his wife identified connection, environment, and adventure as theirs, spending on travel and family time stopped feeling like a debate. 5. Paying off debt in secret isn't a win if your spouse doesn't know the plan. Larry paid off $95,000 in five years, but he also left his wife staring at $150 in checking with no explanation. Communication has to come before the strategy. Links & Resources • You Are Now the CFO of a Very Small Family: https://www.amazon.com/You-Are-Very-Small-Family/dp/B0H2G1NVZM • New Family CFO: https://newfamilycfo.substack.com • Little Cinema: https://www.littlecinema.net • The Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey: https://store.ramseysolutions.com/money/books/the-total-money-makeover-by-dave-ramsey/ • The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman: https://www.amazon.com/Love-Languages-Secret-That-Lasts/dp/1594153515 • The Dad Edge Podcast: https://thedadedge.com/1536 Closing Chris's story about paying off debt without ever looping his wife in, and the panic she felt staring at $150 in the checking account, is a reminder that a good financial plan means nothing if your spouse isn't part of it. The real work isn't the spreadsheet, it's the conversation that happens before you ever open one. Start with how you're both feeling about money, get clear on your family's core values, and let those values point you toward your vision instead of chasing whatever the Joneses bought this week. Go out and live legendary.

  1552|1T 4M
• The Three Step Formula That Stopped a Relapse featuring Michael LassmanMichael Lassman had millions of dollars, a successful Wall Street career, and by every outward measure had made it. Then alcoholism took nearly all of it away. In this deeply honest conversation, Michael walks Larry through his descent, his years long estrangement from his children, and the long road back through a twelve step program, faith, and eventually writing two books about what he learned along the way. What makes this conversation land so hard is how much Larry opens up in return. He shares a recent, still raw season of using alcohol to cope with his oldest son leaving home, and the moment his own ten year old son called it out. He also shares his mother's decades long struggle with alcoholism and the hard boundaries he has had to set to protect his own family. If you have ever used something, anything, to numb a feeling you did not want to sit with, this conversation offers real, hard won language for that struggle and a path through it. Timeline Summary 1:01 Michael shares the statistic that started this conversation. Most people report their life feels meaningless 2:08 Michael's descent in 2011. From a successful Wall Street career to living in a cheap motel 3:12 Michael shares contemplating suicide during his lowest point 4:07 The night police broke down his motel door, believing he was dead 6:14 How Michael went from millions of dollars to near total loss over several years 7:10 The year his children refused to speak to him, and what led to that breaking point 11:40 The story of his son reaching out after a friend's father died unexpectedly 12:39 A full introduction to Michael. A four decade career, multiple businesses, and two books 17:03 Michael reflects on what he would say to the version of himself at his lowest point 22:53 Introducing the spiritual malady, and why addiction is ultimately a comfort problem 25:43 A client's story. Four years free from pornography addiction and now helping other men 26:51 Naming the common thread behind every vice. It is never really about the substance itself 29:04 Michael's story of nearly relapsing at a bus station six months after leaving treatment, and the three step formula that stopped him 32:35 Larry shares his own recent struggle using alcohol to cope with his son leaving home 37:44 Larry's decision to stop drinking for the rest of the year, and how it has felt so far 40:00 Referencing this as episode 1535, and Michael sharing what led him to write about allowing God to remove his character defects 41:31 Breaking down the resentment inventory process from the twelve steps 44:53 Understanding surrender as the paradox at the center of recovery 48:33 Michael's reconciliation with his ex-wife after she read his memoir in full 52:12 An update on Michael's now adult son and daughter, and the state of those relationships today 55:52 Larry shares his own mother's decades long struggle with alcoholism 56:59 The specific incident that led Larry to set a hard boundary with his mother 59:04 Larry reflects on forgiveness without full reconciliation 1:00:23 The danger of family members unintentionally enabling an addict, and the value of Al Anon 1:01:06 Michael's closing message on finding purpose at the intersection of your values, gifts, and hardest experiences 1:04:07 Where to find Michael and his books Five Key Takeaways 1. Addiction is rarely about the substance itself. It is almost always an attempt to escape discomfort, whether that discomfort is anxiety, sadness, resentment, or grief. 2. A simple three step practice can interrupt a craving in the moment. Name the discomfort to God or a higher power, talk to someone about what you are actually feeling, and then look for someone else you can help. 3. Surrender is not weakness. Trying to control or white knuckle your way through a painful season often makes the struggle worse, while genuinely letting go can be the thing that finally creates real change. 4. Reconciliation and forgiveness are not the same thing. You can forgive someone fully while still choosing not to reconcile or reopen a relationship that is not safe for your family. 5. Noticing a pattern early, even a small one, matters. A comment from a child or a spouse can be the signal that something you thought was harmless is actually a way of avoiding a feeling you have not dealt with yet. Links and Resources • Killing Mr. Hyde by Michael Lassman: https://www.amazon.com/Killing-Mr-Hyde-Michael-Lassman/dp/1942451024 • • Modern Man's Search for Meaning by Michael Lassman: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0H1MJ22XN • Michael Lassman: https://www.michael-lassman.com/ • The Dad Edge Day at State Farm Stadium: https://thedadedge.com/nfl • The Dad Edge Podcast: https://thedadedge.com/1535 Closing If any part of this conversation felt close to home, whether it is your own relationship with alcohol, a parent's addiction, or a season of using something to avoid a feeling you have not faced yet, please know you are not alone, and help is available. If you or someone you know is struggling with addiction, Alcoholics Anonymous and Al Anon are both free, widely available resources. If you are having thoughts of suicide, the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline is available 24 hours a day by calling or texting 988. Go out and live legendary.

  1551|1T 5M
• Why Peacekeeping and Peacemaking Are Not the Same in Co-ParentingThis week's Wednesday Q&A tackles a single question, but it's one that touches a lot of co-parenting dads. A member named Mike wrote in about a genuinely tricky situation. His ex-wife coaches their daughter's softball team and wants her fully involved, but Mike is also trying to build his own relationship with his daughter through something they both love, jiu jitsu. The two schedules keep colliding, and Mike is left wondering how much effort he should really be putting into supporting an activity that's eating into his own time with her. Joe took the lead on this one, drawing from his own experience raising five kids across multiple co-parenting relationships. His core message was simple but hard to live out. Stop asking what's convenient for you and start asking what's genuinely best for your daughter, and never let your kids feel like they have to be the peacekeepers in a situation adults created. Larry tied it together with a reference to a past guest, Gary Chapman, and a lesser known book of his built specifically for blended families. If you're navigating co-parenting tension of your own, this conversation offers real, hard won perspective rather than easy answers. Timeline Summary 1:01 Introducing today's single question format and Joe joining from a borrowed candy shop closet 3:21 Mike's question. Balancing his daughter's softball commitment, coached by his ex-wife, against their own jiu jitsu time together 4:24 Joe's own co-parenting background. Three prior marriages, five kids, and blended families from every angle 6:41 Larry announces a rare, small group preview of the Dad Edge Business Boardroom Brotherhood 8:38 Joe's first question back to Mike. What does his daughter actually want, not what either parent wants for her 11:38 Naming the trap of projecting our own wants and needs onto our kids instead of putting theirs first 13:52 Joe's underlying philosophy. Every co-parenting decision is a chance to build partnership and trust for the years ahead 14:16 Larry announces the first ever Dad Edge Day with the Arizona Cardinals, November 15th 16:39 Joe reflects on his own childhood as a blended family kid caught in the middle 18:24 Naming the difference between being a peacekeeper and a peacemaker 19:23 The scriptural reframe. Blessed are the peacemakers, not the peacekeepers 21:04 Larry shares his own childhood memory of physically stepping between fighting parents 22:07 Mike reflects on what he's taking away from the conversation 23:20 Joe's honest admission that co-parenting wisdom came through years of trial and error 24:44 The long term payoff. Joe's grown kids now raising strong, peaceful families of their own 25:28 Larry introduces Gary Chapman's book on blended families and the five love languages 26:33 Closing reminders about the Boardroom Brotherhood preview and the Arizona Cardinals game Five Key Takeaways 1. Put your child's actual wants and needs ahead of your own convenience or resentment. Kids can tell the difference between a parent who is genuinely supportive and one who is just tolerating an obligation. 2. Kids in co-parenting situations often quietly take on the role of peacekeeper, trying to manage tension between the adults around them. Naming that pressure and removing it from their shoulders is one of the most protective things a parent can do. 3. There is a real difference between keeping the peace and making peace. Peacekeeping is passive and avoids conflict. Peacemaking means actively confronting hard conversations for the sake of the whole family. 4. Building trust with a difficult co-parent takes years of trial and error, including plenty of failed attempts. The goal is not a quick fix, it is a foundation that will matter even more once your kids reach their teenage years. 5. The work you put into peaceful co-parenting now can shape your children's own future marriages and families, long after the original conflict is resolved. Links and Resources • Building Love Together in Blended Families by Gary Chapman and Ron L. Deal: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07WJ1DFT6?lv=shuf&channelId=500&plpRedirect=mhFallback • The Dad Edge Day at State Farm Stadium: https://thedadedge.com/nfl • Dad Edge Business Boardroom Brotherhood Preview: https://thedadedge.com/guest • The Dad Edge Podcast: https://thedadedge.com/1534 Closing If you take one thing from this episode, let it be Joe's line that peacemaking means dying to your own wants for the sake of your kids. It is not easy, and it will not happen overnight, but the payoff, watching your own children grow up to build peaceful families of their own, is worth every bit of the work. Go out and live legendary.

  1550|28M
• Why Winning at a Resented Life Is More Dangerous Than Failing featuring David GerberDavid Gerber opens this episode with a story that stops you in your tracks: a wild lioness charging at 50 miles an hour, stopping just six feet from him, in the African wilderness where he spends weeks each year tracking lions on foot, not to hunt them, but to experience a level of presence and aliveness he says he's never found anywhere else. David is an executive coach at Novus Global who works with pro athletes, CEOs, and high performers, but the real heart of this conversation is what led him there: a divorce five and a half years ago that broke him open and led to a genuinely dark period in his life, one he's candid about in detail. We get into his framework for why so many successful, high-performing men quietly rate their own lives a "seven out of ten," comfortable enough to avoid change but never truly alive, and what it actually takes to break out of that pattern. David shares practical tools, including an exercise he calls "making friends with the worst case scenario" and his own process of writing a forgiveness letter to his ex-wife, alongside a genuinely moving exchange about his own complicated relationship with his father. If you've ever felt like you're winning at a life you secretly resent, this conversation offers a real, unflinching way through it. Timeline Summary [1:02] David's story of a wild lioness charging within six feet of him while tracking on foot in Africa [9:47] Larry announces a rare, small-group preview of the Dad Edge Business Boardroom Brotherhood [11:25] Why David has never seen anyone run from a charging lion, and how courage functions like an energy [14:34] A full introduction to David: executive coach at Novus Global, author of "The Lion Is You" [16:51] The origin of the book's title and David's lifelong fascination with lions [17:41] David shares a period of significant suicidal ideation following his divorce [22:33] Unpacking what made the divorce and its aftermath so difficult for him personally [23:47] David shares taking a hair loss medication around the time of his divorce and its effect on him [26:43] Larry announces the first-ever Dad Edge Day with the Arizona Cardinals, November 15th [29:33] Introducing "the drift," and why winning at a resented life is more dangerous than failing [36:15] The "1 to 10 scale" most people rate their lives on, and why most land on a comfortable seven [36:36] The story of "Mike," who sold his company for $42.4 million and still felt unfulfilled [38:19] The question Mike's wife asked him that changed everything: "does this mean you can have donuts with dad at school?" [41:11] What actually calls a man to change without a crisis forcing his hand [46:11] The exercise of identifying what's blocking you from being present [50:35] David's "making friends with the worst case scenario" exercise [53:11] Why David now considers his divorce the best thing that ever happened to him [54:36] The forgiveness letter David wrote to his ex-wife, and what writing it did for him [57:31] Larry shares his own story of reconciling with his biological father after years apart [59:02] Larry's son Mason asks how Larry was able to forgive his own father [1:01:05] David's closing message: find the people closest to you and ask if you need to do deeper work [1:04:09] Where to find David and his book Five Key Takeaways 1. The most dangerous thing for a high performer often isn't failure, it's winning at a life they secretly resent. Many successful people rate their own lives a comfortable seven out of ten, good enough to avoid real change. 2. A crisis isn't the only thing that can call someone toward a better life. Getting honest about what you deeply want, and don't currently have, can spark the same shift without requiring rock bottom first. 3. "Making friends with the worst case scenario" means imagining the thing you fear most happening, and recognizing that even then, you'd likely find a way through it, and possibly grow because of it rather than in spite of it. 4. Forgiveness doesn't require the other person's response or validation. Writing something down and releasing resentment can restore your own integrity and peace, whether or not it changes the relationship itself. 5. True presence requires doing real inner work, understanding your nervous system and emotional patterns, not just deciding to "be more present" as an abstract intention. Links & Resources • The Lion Is You: Lessons from the Wild on Coming Alive Again by David Gerber: https://www.amazon.com/Lion-You-Lessons-Coming-Alive/dp/1971795003 • David Gerber: https://www.davidagerber.com • David Gerber on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/davidgerber • Novus Global: https://novus.global/ • The Dad Edge Day at State Farm Stadium: https://thedadedge.com/nfl • Dad Edge Business Boardroom Brotherhood Preview: https://thedadedge.com/guest • The Dad Edge Podcast: https://thedadedge.com/1533 Closing What's staying with me from this conversation is David's line that the most dangerous life isn't the one that fails, it's the one you win at while secretly resenting it. If you're sitting at a comfortable seven right now, wondering if that's just what life is supposed to feel like, let this be the nudge to ask what you actually, deeply want. And if you're in a season that feels much darker than a seven, please don't carry that alone. The 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline is available 24/7 by calling or texting 988. Go out and live legendary.

  1549|1T 6M