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10% Happier

Self-help for smart people. World-class insights and practices from experts in modern science and ancient wisdom. Hosted by veteran journalist and best-selling author, Dan Harris.

Ten Percent Happier with Dan Harris

Pema Chodron has seemingly been trying to prepare us for this pandemic for years, through a series of popular books, with titles such as When Things Fall Apart, Welcoming the Unwelcome, and The Wisdom of No Escape. But as you will hear, she is anything but gloomy. Like all of the great meditation teachers I've met, she has a lightness and a sense of humor about her. Notwithstanding her chipper demeanor, she has worked hard to point out to her readers and students that groundlessness and uncertainty are fundamental facts of life - which are becoming increasingly salient in our current crisis. Pema Chodron was born Deirdre Blomfield in Connecticut. She lived a conventional life, going to UC Berkeley, becoming a school teacher, and having a pair of kids. But after a rough divorce, she found herself adrift. During this time, she discovered Tibetan Buddhism, shaved her head, and became a nun. Now in her mid-eighties, she lives in rural Nova Scotia, where she is the director of Gampo Abbey. We connected with her on an old-school landline. We talked about how to actually welcome the unwelcome. We also discussed how to: befriend your demons, sympathize without being stupid, lighten up in the face of fear, and embrace chaos as "extremely good news." Where to find Pema Chodron online: Website: https://pemachodronfoundation.org/about/pema-chodron/ Twitter: Pema Chödrön (@AniPemaChodron) / https://twitter.com/AniPemaChodron Facebook: Pema Chodron / https://www.facebook.com/Pema.Chodron/ Instagram: AniPemaChodron (@anipemachodron) / https://www.instagram.com/anipemachodron/ Books Mentioned: When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times by Pema Chodron / https://www.amazon.com/When-Things-Fall-Apart-Difficult-ebook/dp/B00BBXJH2C Welcoming the Unwelcome by Pema Chodron / https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07V77TZ33/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_bibl_vppi_i1 Emotional Awareness by The Dalai Lama and Paul Ekman / https://www.amazon.com/Emotional-Awareness-Overcoming-Psychological-Compassion/dp/0805090215 Other Resources Mentioned: Theravada Tradition / https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buddhist_meditation#Contemporary_Therav%C4%81da Tonglen Practice / https://www.lionsroar.com/how-to-practice-tonglen/ For a limited time, we're offering a 40% discount on a year-long subscription to the app. Visit tenpercent.com/podcast40 to get your discount and get support for your meditation practice today. This promotion is only available to users without a current Ten Percent Happier app subscription. Additional Resources: Ten Percent Happier Live: https://tenpercent.com/live Coronavirus Sanity Guide: https://www.tenpercent.com/coronavirussanityguide We want to deeply thank and recognize healthcare workers, teachers, warehouse workers, grocery and food delivery workers for the essential role that they play in our lives. For FREE access to the app and hundreds of meditations and resources visit https://tenpercent.com/care Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/pema-chodron-250

Holding it Together When Things Fall Apart | Pema Chodron

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.
 
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There’s so much to be grateful for in modern medicine. We can all agree that we would not do as well in a world with no Advil or dentistry. And yet, our guest today, who is a renowned doctor, says modern medicine is overlooking something crucial: the pernicious impact that modern living has on our minds and bodies. In other words, we are surrounded by these hidden societal and structural sources of stress and we aren’t thinking about how to treat and prevent these factors that are degrading our happiness and our immune systems. 
 

 
Dr. Gabor Maté is a bestselling author with an expertise on everything from stress to addiction to ADHD. His latest book is called, The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness, and Healing in a Toxic Culture
 

 
Content Warning: This episode has mentions of child abuse, sexual trauma, suicide and addiction
 

 
In this episode we talk about:
 
 • What he means by “the myth of normal”
 • How diseases, such as autoimmune conditions, are an “artifact of civilization"
 • How to begin to tackle what Dr. Maté calls, “the social sources of illness” 
 • His definition of trauma and the difference between “big T traumatic events” and the trauma of “wounding”
 • How trauma in society is so normalized that we don’t even recognize it
 • Whether the term trauma is overused
 • Why comparing suffering is a fruitless endeavor 
 • What he means by “the necessity to be disillusioned” 
 • The power and possibility of psychedelics 
 • Why he thinks we should incorporate shamanic medicine into our western medical framework
 • And what he means by “undoing self-limiting beliefs” and how these beliefs show up in our everyday lives
 

 

 
Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/gabor-mate-586

Modern Life Is Making You Sick, but It Doesn’t Have To | Dr. Gabor Maté

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.
 
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A journalist explores one of humanity’s most brutal and unavoidable experiences.
 

 
Cody Delistraty is a writer and speechwriter, most recently working as the culture editor at the Wall Street Journal Magazine. He has written for The New York Times, The New Yorker, The Atlantic, and was the European arts columnist for The Paris Review. He has degrees in politics from New York University and in history from the University of Oxford. British Vogue named him a best young writer of the year, and he has given talks about art and creativity to companies like PwC. He lives in New York City.
 

 
In this episode we talk about:
 
 • Why our culture is so repressed when it comes to grief
 • We dive into the many experiments that Cody launched to help cope with loss; from book and laughter therapy, to psilocybin and AI
 • The concept of grief as an addiction 
 • The importance of rituals 
 • The scientific possibility of deleting our memories to avoid pain 
 • And how to live along side of grief when there is no cure
 

 

 
Related Episodes:
 
Abby Wambach On: Grief, Addiction, And Moving From External To Internal Validation
 
#583. Jennifer Senior On: Grief, Happiness, Friendship Breakups, and Why We Feel Younger Than Our Actual Age
 
Joe DiNardo, Grief and Meditation
 

 
Sign up for Dan’s newsletter here
 
Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok
 
Ten Percent Happier online bookstore
 
Subscribe to our YouTube Channel
 
Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes
 

 
Full Shownotes: https://happierapp.com/podcast/tph/cody-delistraty-872
 

 
Additional Resources:
 
Download the Happier app today: https://my.happierapp.com/link/download
 
The Grief Cure: Looking for the End of Loss

The Science Of Grief: What Helps, What Doesn’t, And Why We Don’t Talk About It Enough | Cody Delistraty

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.
 
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Smart strategies that emerged from a brutal year. 
 

 
Sam Sanders is an award-winning reporter, radio host and podcaster. He co-hosts the podcast Vibe Check with Zach Stafford and Saeed Jones. He also currently hosts The Sam Sanders Show from KCRW. Check out the album he mentioned in the episode, Caroline Rose’s The Art of Forgetting. 
 

 
This is part 2 in a 3-part series we’re running on grief.
 

 
In this episode we talk about:
 
 • The fact that there is no right way to deal with grief 
 • The value of feeling your feelings — even though it sucks 
 • Why it can be helpful to take breaks from your grief without guilt
 • The importance of joy and play 
 • The changing nature of grief
 • What it means to be “anointed” by grief
 • And what it looks like to maintain a relationship with someone even after they’ve died
 

 

 
Related Episodes:
 
 How (and Why) to Hug Your Inner Dragons | Richard Schwartz Kryptonite for the Inner Critic | Kristin Neff The Voice in Your Head | Ethan Kross Jonathan Van Ness on Shame, Shopping, Bodies, and Hope 

 

 
Sign up for Dan’s weekly newsletter here
 
Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok
 
Ten Percent Happier online bookstore
 
Subscribe to our YouTube Channel
 
Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes
 

 
Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/sam-sanders-873

How To Talk To Yourself When Things Suck | Sam Sanders

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.
 
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A famed author and humorist takes a deep dive into grief (with Dr. Bianca Harris as co-host).
 

 
Sloane Crosley is the author of The New York Times bestselling books Grief Is for People, How Did You Get This Number, and I Was Told There’d Be Cake. She is also the author of Look Alive Out There, Cult Classic and The Clasp, both of which have been optioned for film. She served as editor of The Best American Travel Writing series and is featured in The Library of America's 50 Funniest American Writers, The Best American Nonrequired Reading, Phillip Lopate’s The Contemporary American Essay and others. She was the inaugural columnist for The New York Times Op-Ed "Townies" series, a contributing editor at Interview Magazine, and a columnist for The Village Voice, Vanity Fair, The Independent, Black Book, Departures and The New York Observer. She is a contributing editor at Vanity Fair. She has taught at Columbia University and The Yale Writers’ Workshop.
 

 
In this episode we talk about:
 
 • A series of consecutive losses that Sloane endured
 • The concept of cumulative grief 
 • Sloane’s version of the five stages of grief
 • Her beef with acceptance
 • Bibliotherapy as a source of healing
 • And much more
 

 
Related Episodes:
 
The Science Of Grief: What Helps, What Doesn’t, And Why We Don’t Talk About It Enough | Cody Delistraty
 
How To Talk To Yourself When Things Suck | Sam Sanders
 
#450. The Science of Loss and Recovery | Mary-Frances O’Connor
 

 
Sign up for Dan’s newsletter here
 
Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok
 
Ten Percent Happier online bookstore
 
Subscribe to our YouTube Channel
 
Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes
 

 
Full Shownotes: https://happierapp.com/podcast/tph/sloane-crosley-874
 

 
Additional Resources:
 
 • Download the Happier app today: 
https://my.happierapp.com/link/download Anxiety: The Missing Stage of Grief: A Revolutionary Approach to Understanding and Healing the Impact of Loss All My Puny Sorrows Otherwise: New & Selected Poems By Jane Kenyon

Tricky Questions About Grief: Is There A Right Way To Do It? What To Say To People In Grief? And Can You Grieve For Things? | Sloane Crosley

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.
 
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The upside of the often misunderstood "tribalism".
 

 
Michael Morris is the Chavkin-Chang Professor of Leadership at Columbia Business School as well as a Professor in its Psychology Department. Outside of academia, Professor Morris has consulted with and conducted executive training workshops for hundreds of clients across the globe, including Fortune 100 firms, governments, and the Obama and Clinton campaigns. He lives in New York City. His latest book is called Tribal: How The Cultural Instincts That Divide Us Can Help Bring Us Together.
 
Related Episodes:
 
 How Turning Habits Into Rituals Can Help You At Home, At Work, And When You're Anxious | Michael Norton 

 
Sign up for Dan’s newsletter here
 
Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok
 
Ten Percent Happier online bookstore
 
Subscribe to our YouTube Channel
 
Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes
 

 
Full Shownotes: https://happierapp.com/podcast/tph/michael-morris-876

What Evolutionary Psychology Teaches Us About How To Influence People | Michael Morris

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.
 
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How your blindspots hurt your decision-making— and how to fix it.
 

 
Anu Gupta is an educator, lawyer, scientist, and the founder and CEO of BE MORE with Anu, an education technology benefit corporation that trains professionals across corporate, nonprofit, and government sectors to advance DEIB and wellness by breaking bias. His work has reached 300+ organizations training more than 80,000 professionals impacting over 30 million lives. Gupta holds a JD from NYU Law, MPhil in Development Studies from Cambridge University, and BA in International Relations and Middle Eastern & Islamic Studies from NYU. As a gay immigrant of color, he came to the work of breaking bias after almost ending his life due to lifelong experiences with racism, homophobia, and Islamophobia. The realization that bias can be unlearned helped lead him out of that dark point and inspired a lifelong mission to build a global movement for social healing based on principles of mindfulness and compassion. A peer-reviewed author, he has written and spoken extensively, including on the TED stage, the Oprah Conversation, Fast Company, Newsweek, and Vogue Business. He is the author of Breaking Bias: Where Stereotypes and Prejudices Come From—and the Science-Backed Method to Unravel Them.
 

 

 

 
In this episode we talk about:
 
 • The 5 causes of bias
 • The dis-utility of shame
 • What has – and hasn’t – been working in DEI trainings
 • Contemplative practices, on and off the cushion, for breaking bias
 • And his response to skeptics 
 

 

 
Related Episodes:
 
 Why You‘re Not Seeing the World Clearly— and How to Fix It | Jessica Nordell The Self-Interested Case for Examining Your Biases | John Biewen Dolly Chugh, How Good People Fight Bias Rhonda Magee, Law Professor Using Mindfulness to Defeat Bias How to Call People In (Instead of Calling Them Out) | Loretta Ross 

 

 
Sign up for Dan’s newsletter here
 
Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok
 
Ten Percent Happier online bookstore
 
Subscribe to our YouTube Channel
 
Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes
 

 
Full Shownotes: https://happierapp.com/podcast/tph/anu-gupta-877

How To Unsubscribe From The Negative Stories You Tell About Yourself And Others | Anu Gupta

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.
 
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Dan and Executive Producer, DJ Cashmere, pull back the curtain on what we do, how we do it—and what’s coming next.
 

 
In this episode we talk about:
 
 • An exciting New Year's series reveal and upcoming meditation challenge
 • What goes into making the show–and why we do it
 • The ins and outs of starting a new business
 • And much more
 

 
Sign up for Dan’s newsletter here
 
Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok
 
Ten Percent Happier online bookstore
 
Subscribe to our YouTube Channel
 
Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes
 

 
Full Shownotes: https://meditatehappier.com/podcast/tph/bts-878

Behind The Scenes Of The 10% Happier Podcast + A Sneak Preview Of Something Big

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.
 
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Equanimity: what it is, what it isn’t, and how to get it. 
 
Guest Kamala Masters was one of the teachers at Dan’s first ever meditation retreat. In this episode she dives into how to develop equanimity and shares her story of learning how to practice meditation during her everyday life while raising three children on her own. 
 
Kamala Masters has been meditating since the 1970s, first with Anagarika Munindra, who was Joseph Goldstein’s first teacher, and then with the Burmese master Sayadaw U Pandita with whom she twice temporarily ordained as a Buddhist nun. More recently, she’s been training with another Burmese master we’ve talked about here on the show, Sayadaw U Tejaniya. She is a Guiding Teacher at the Insight Meditation Society, and the co-founder of the Vipassana Metta Foundation, which developed the Maui Dharma Sanctuary.
 
In this conversation we talk about: 
 
 • What is equanimity?
 • The most common misconception about equanimity
 • The near and far enemies of equanimity 
 • The power and limitations of setting intentions
 

 
Full Shownotes: https://meditatehappier.com/podcast/tph/kamala-masters-rerun
 
Where to find Kamala Masters online: 
 
Website: Vipassana Metta on Maui
 
Additional Resources:
 
Download the Happier Meditation app today.

How To Be Okay No Matter What | Kamala Masters

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.
 
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Can mindfulness really pull you out of a spiral of self-judgment? Don’t you need to be judgmental sometimes? What’s the difference between being discerning and judgmental?
 

 
Description: 
 
Meditation and mindfulness doesn’t uproot your capacity to be judgmental, but it can help you see the value in being judgmental by learning how to work with the judging mind. 
 
La Sarmiento has been practicing Vipassana meditation since 1998. La is a mentor for the Mindfulness Meditation Teacher Certification Program, a teacher with Cloud Sangha, and a contributor to the Happier Meditation app.
 
In this episode we talk about:
 
 • How mindfulness can help us identify when we’re being judgmental
 • The difference between discernment and judgment
 • How it can be so delicious to be judgmental of others – but why it’s actually harmful to ourselves and others
 • The four questions to ask when we notice ourselves going into judgment mode 
 • How to operationalize the phrase “am I suffering right now?” 
 • Investigating the motivations behind striving for success 
 • Why owning up to being a jerk is sometimes the exact right answer
 

 
Full Shownotes: www.meditatehappier.com/podcast/tph/la-sarmiento-rerun-2024
 
Where to find La Sarmiento online: 
 
Website: www.lasarmiento.com
 
Additional Resources:
 
Download the Happier Meditation app today.

How To Be Less Judgmental (Of Other People – and Yourself) | La Sarmiento

George Stephanopoulos, the co-anchor of "Good Morning America" and the host of ABC News' Sunday morning political affairs show, "This Week," first started practicing meditation in the '90s when he was serving as a senior advisor in the Clinton administration. Stephanopoulos talks about how Transcendental Meditation has helped him deal with anxiety over the years and offers his thoughts on Donald Trump's upcoming inauguration.

George Stephanopoulos, ABC News Chief Anchor

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