Rex Heuermann: The Psychology of Asa Ellerup’s Denial & the Gilgo Beach Nightmare | 2025 Year in Review

As part of our Hidden Killers 2025 Year in Review series, we’re unpacking one of the most haunting psychological stories to emerge from the Gilgo Beach murders — the steadfast denial of Asa Ellerup, estranged wife of accused serial killer Rex Heuermann.

Even as prosecutors present a mountain of evidence — DNA matches, hair fibers from family members found on victims, burner phones, and a detailed murder planning document — Asa still calls her husband her “hero.” She describes visiting him in jail as feeling like “a first date.” She smiles when she hears his voice. She insists their home — where police say the murders were plotted — could never be a crime scene.

In this gripping psychological breakdown, retired FBI Behavioral Analyst Robin Dreeke joins Tony Brueski to dissect how trauma, denial, and love can merge into something that looks like loyalty but is really self-preservation. Dreeke explains how 27 years of marriage built what he calls a “truth infrastructure” — a psychological foundation so powerful that admitting betrayal feels more dangerous than believing the lie.

He unpacks the mechanics of trauma bonding, cognitive dissonance, and protective blindness, explaining how the human brain often rejects unbearable truth to preserve emotional stability. Dreeke also explores how financial stress, illness, and media exploitation may amplify Asa’s denial — especially as she battles cancer, navigates public scrutiny, and faces criticism for participating in the Peacock documentary The Gilgo Beach Killer: House of Secrets.

Then, psychotherapist Shavaun Scott joins Tony to analyze the most disturbing moments captured on camera — including Rex’s recorded jail calls and Asa’s telling body language. Why does she close her eyes when confronted with evidence? Why does she describe love as something that would “hurt him”? Scott reveals how guilt, dependency, and unresolved trauma often trap partners of predators in cycles of emotional paralysis.

Together, Dreeke and Scott piece together a portrait not just of denial — but of the psychological collateral damage left behind when a family’s reality is shattered by unimaginable truth.

🎙️ Hidden Killers with Tony Brueski — 2025 Year in Review: The Crimes, The Psychology, and The Human Blind Spots That Defined the Year.

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