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Look... every couple struggles. You fight too much; you're bored; sex is either okay (or rare); maybe you're even considering divorce. OR... maybe your marriage is actually pretty good, but you want to go deeper. In this podcast, straight-talking marriage therapists Zach Brittle and Laura Heck tackle the most common complaints virtually every marriage experience. Along the way, they reveal the science behind strong relationships and talk about what's really going on for couples. Topics include conflict, communication, compatibility, money, sex, in-laws, infidelity, time-management, future dreams, and more. If you want relief? A deeper connection? A new way forward...? Then you've got to find out what's REALLY going on in your marriage. That's what this podcast is about. You can learn more about Zach and Laura, and their alternatives to traditional therapy at marriagetherapyradio.com.

Marriage Therapy Radio

Zach and Laura are joined by special guest Dr. Jeanne Michele https://drjeannemichele.com/, a relationship coach and author of The Infidelity Cure https://amzn.to/4g6QBSf. The trio delves into the complex topic of infidelity, exploring its emotional impact, the motivations behind it, and how couples can navigate the aftermath. Jeanne shares her professional insights, emphasizing the importance of understanding vulnerability factors that can lead to affairs and the paths to recovery for all parties involved: the betrayed partner, the involved partner, and the affair partner.

The conversation is rich with anecdotes, practical advice, and moments of levity, as Jeanne, Zach, and Laura reflect on the deeper needs driving infidelity and how couples can rebuild trust. From navigating the decision to disclose an affair to setting new boundaries and agreements, this episode offers a compassionate guide for those grappling with the complexities of betrayal and healing in relationships.

Key Takeaways:

Infidelity as a Crisis and Opportunity: Jeanne highlights how an affair, while painful, can serve as a wake-up call for couples to address neglected aspects of their relationship and potentially strengthen their bond.

Understanding Vulnerability Factors: External and internal factors, such as unmet emotional needs or personal insecurities, can create conditions where an affair might occur. Awareness and communication are key to mitigating these risks.

Navigating Disclosure: Jeanne and Laura discuss whether disclosing an affair is always necessary, emphasizing the importance of considering the motivations and potential impact of disclosure on the betrayed partner.

Healing Requires Individual and Joint Work: Rebuilding trust involves both partners reflecting on their values, setting clear boundaries, and working together to create a new, healthier relationship dynamic.

Support for All Parties: Jeanne discusses the importance of including the affair partner in the healing process, encouraging them to address their own patterns and emotional needs.

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Ep 350 Rebuilding Trust After Infidelity: Insights from Dr. Jeanne Michele

Zach and Laura kick things off with their signature banter, sharing personal stories from their week. Zach recounts his recent trip to Chicago, sharing about connecting with an old friend and nerding out about superheroes. Laura recounts her excitement about seeing Wicked with her son, reflecting on the joy of revisiting experiences that remind us to embrace wonder and connection.

As the conversation transitions, Zach and Laura tackle the nuanced topic of manipulation versus boundaries in relationships. What’s the difference between expressing your needs and attempting to control your partner’s behavior? They explore how manipulation often sneaks in when communication breaks down and how healthy, collaborative boundaries can strengthen relationships.

Laura opens up about a time early in her marriage when she used the silent treatment as a manipulative tactic to get her way. She admits, “I thought I was being clever, but really, I was just shutting my partner out.” Zach shares how guilt and unclear communication led to his own missteps in creating healthy boundaries. They explore common examples—emotional, time, financial, and physical boundaries—illustrating how small changes can lead to healthier dynamics.

The episode balances humor, personal anecdotes, and expert insights as Zach and Laura share practical strategies for recognizing manipulation, fostering intentional communication, and setting clear boundaries that honor both partners' needs.

Key Takeaways
Manipulation vs. Boundaries:

Manipulation seeks to control behavior by exploiting emotions, guilt, or fear.

Boundaries are clear, respectful expressions of needs and limits to protect well-being without forcing a partner’s behavior.

Recognizing Unhealthy Tactics: Examples of manipulative behavior include silent treatment, ultimatums, threats, love bombing, and triangulation (using a third party to create jealousy or tension).

Why Manipulation Happens: When couples fail to communicate boundaries clearly, manipulative patterns often arise out of frustration, fear, or avoidance of direct confrontation.

Healthy Boundaries Require Collaboration: Healthy boundaries are created through mutual agreement, clear communication, and respect for each other’s needs and limits.

Sponsor:
Get 10% off your first month at BETTER HELP by visiting https://betterhelp.com/marriagetherapy
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Ep 351 Manipulation or Boundaries?

Zach and Laura explore the complexities of transitions, nostalgia, and holiday traditions. Laura is feeling proud of her proud of her gym routine, even if her husband hasn't noticed. Meanwhile, Zach recounts nostalgic moments from a recent trip to his hometown, emphasizing how revisiting the past can offer clarity and a sense of grounding.

The conversation also dives into “sliding door” moments, those pivotal decisions that shape our lives. Laura reflects on turning down a high-powered job at Microsoft to pursue a life filled with love, adventure, and personal growth. Zach, on the other hand, ponders alternate paths and how they’ve led him to the life and family he cherishes today. This episode is a blend of humor, heartfelt moments, and meaningful reflections on how we embrace change and the lives we’ve chosen.

Reflections on Nostalgia Zach recounts a recent trip to his hometown, filled with memories of childhood friends, old haunts, and transformative moments that shaped his perspective.

Sliding Door Moments Both hosts reflect on the life-changing decisions they’ve made, from career moves to relationship choices, and how those decisions created the lives they now cherish.

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Ep 352 Nostalgia, Transitions, and Holiday Traditions

You're a fly on the wall as two marriage therapists discuss their most interesting and challenging cases. Zach Brittle and Laura Heck have spent thousands of hours with hundreds of couples helping them move toward a better marriage. 
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Introducing Marriage Therapy Radio

SPOILER ALERT: You can't. Conflict is inevitable and every couple struggles in their own way. Zach and Laura discuss common problems and ways to navigate through conflict successfully. Laura tells a disgusting story.
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Ep01 - How to Avoid Conflict

Zach teaches Laura all about skydiving and the two most important rules once you leave the plane and gravity takes over. They discuss different ways that couples can de-escalate and repair in the midst of conflict. They test out a new slogan for the podcast. 
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Ep02 - How to Skydive

Laura throws her husband under the bus and Zach talks about how much he hates the words "I'm sorry." They discuss a formula for how to apologize effectively and how both partners have a role. They also discuss why "forgive and forget" is a bad strategy.
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Ep03 - How to Apologize

Zach and Laura discuss the most important skill for any couple and the best time to do it. (Hint: It's any time.) They also reveal the one question every couple needs to learn how to ask and answer on a regular basis. Zach reveals the secret to making him feel like $20.
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Ep04 - How to Repair

Zach Brittle and Laura heck begin a new series on Connection. In this episode they explore the phenomenon of Roommate Syndrome and how it affects many couples. They show you the signs for how the slide begins and they discuss the power of a McDonald's milkshake.
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Ep05 - Roommate Syndrome

Zach and Laura continue their Connection Series and discuss the power of intentional conversations. They share how leaning into some new scripts can build intimacy and true connection. Laura also goes overboard and pays Zach TWO compliments.
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Ep03 - How to Apologize

Ep03 - How to Apologize

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