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Help Me Be Me is an emotional toolkit for creating positive change in yourself. I like to think of it as self-help for people who hate self-help. I'm Sarah May, coach/author/all-around happy person, and these are the tools that work for me in my life. For all of my offerings you can check out YayWithMe.com What I share on this show is my personal opinion. It's not a diagnosis for treatment or a substitute for professional help. If you're suffering, please reach out to your local emergency services or call 9-1-1. Find this podcast on YouTube at https://www.youtube.com/sarahmayb

Help Me Be Me

If you’re a creative person, you are likely vulnerable to a lot of specific conditions: anxiety, boredom and also overly harsh self-analysis. Because you are right-brained, you are overly harsh on yourself and you imagine others judging you more harshly than they do.

I have a few creative loved ones affected recently by the harshness of life (suffering on a soul level). Not saying it was all the fact that they are creative, but I do think it’s a big factor. If you’re creative, you are overly feeling– and also get bored by “the system” so it’s a double whammy. I am writing this with the hopes that it gets you into a better channel of thinking and using your creativity for positive change in your life. It has some tools for enhancing ego and intuition, and love for self.

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Ep 278: Creative and Sensitive: Healing Your Energy

This is an energy cleanser that will get you feeling hopeful about change. It includes how to stop rumination, how to change yourself, and how to make progress toward your goals especially if you get stuck in self-doubt. This is kind of like a mid-year self-review episode with journal exercises that reminds you to stay in the energy of love while taking stock of where you’re at on your goals. You can think of it as a set of positive reminders for how you choose to be, and coming home to a physical memory of love and optimism. Our energy is a daily maintenance practice that we need to be intentional about. Listening to this is kind of like a reminder for who you intend to be! 

Definitely check the tools on this episode if you feel stuck or like you’re in a negative mindset. 
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Ep 277: What Do I Love and Choose - A Mid-Year Check-in

This episode is about the underground engine that drives a lot of our choices, our reactions, and loops that keep us stuck. A lot of the things that block us are really overcompensations based in fear. They remain hidden from view because they are so engrained and we default to them because we are on autopilot due to stress. 

This is inspired by recent coaching I am doing, myself, around the enneagram! I am a fan of this framework, and I find it to be insightful. I highly recommend trying a test to see what your fear protection strategies might be. The main outcome of knowing your tendencies is being able to decide if you want to grow out of them. So many are different than we think they are/you may be mislabeling a lot of your current motives, now. Sending
love!

This is my enneagram coach’s site.

Here's more info about the types. 

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Ep 276: Enneagram + Fear: Overriding Defaults

We often feel shattered when someone takes our identity away in some shape or form: a job, a relationship—a portrait of one’s self. This is an episode for anyone who lost a job or a relationship. An identity where you
suddenly don’t know where to turn for grounding and solace.

I am talking to a lot of people on the brink of an uncharted path. Right now industries are constricting, a lot of people are feeling scarce. I think this will also be relevant if you recently lost a relationship or any routine that kept you feeling a sense of self. Really dramatic change can be traumatic, but it can also forced growth. 

It can be really hard to not have a schedule: suddenly everything is yours to decide and validate. Without assignments and a role, it can be really hard to channel your energy: where do I even start?

In this window of untethered life, my message to you is not to come from, “Who can I beg? Who would even take me?” which is fear/lack/scarcity. If you are in that state, know that what you need to do is give yourself love. And come home to all the power and greatness you are capable of. To get to that knowing – we need to tune our perspective. 

What we must return to is that energy of limitlessness, safety, spaciousness, empowerment. That place of “what do I truly love and care
about – that is pure and unfettered within my soul?” That is a place that
flows and creates value that no one else can replicate. We need to have that energy of agency: it’s having a feeling of safety within oneself. That is the emphasis in that sentence: within oneself.

Sponsors:Betterhelp.com/helpmebeme - sign up and get 10% off your first month of therapyQuince.com/helpme for free shipping and 365 day returns Wayfair.com to shop all things home
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Ep 275: Loss and Fear – Facing uncertainty as with a job loss

I want to bring up possible areas in your life where you are being driven by an old pattern: where motives are unconscious and not totally visible to you. Often these loops are reinforced by childhood boundaries we set up for good reasons – things that helped create stability in life. Things like a need to control. A need to be needed. A need to feel safe.

This is about seeing patterns in your life so you can be truly guided by your best interests versus the stuff you are unconsciously afraid of. A lot of things we tend to avoid are also things that can be positive for us. This has a few tools for channeling power, confidence, present-mindedness. What has your life path set up for you? It has led you to where you are today for good reason. 

If you identify as high-functioning, there’s a thing that tends to happen where you crash and have that moment where you ask: am I happy? Is this sustainable? That is the shadow side of a very healthy set of skills. That is what we are exploring together, today. Sending love!

Sponsors:

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Ep 274: Fear Loops and How to Move Through Them

Numbness, isolation, loneliness. The voice of fear takes many different shapes and forms, many of them don’t look like fear. The voice will reinforce a state of constriction and energy-saving: don't reach out, don't be vulnerable. To heal means being accessible to divine energy — to something greater than your current emotional state — requires asking for help and practicing openness. That is how we move out of loneliness instead of remaining locked in fear. And we also need to be in the places where that energy can actually reach us. It’s there all the time, all around us. The question is whether we can get into a position to receive it.

If you’re chronically lonely the goal is to allow God in – or allow in the universal forces that expand you. Reaching openness means being accessible to change. We need to get out of the constricted state and enter the current. 

Plato had a concept of “ontos on” to describes "what really is," or, the really real: When something hits you as true, it’s associated with the permanent, timeless, and divine as opposed to fleeting physical existence. It’s a really important feeling for us to have: recognition of the really real. A moment when we are struck, when we recognize our human truths – when we are stirred. This is what we need to access in order for our lives to change, for positive change to be catalyzed. It doesn’t happen in a vacuum – we need to move outside of our tiny loop of fear and enter other spheres. That is what this episode is about.

Sponsors:

Betterhelp.com/helpmebeme - sign up and get
10% off your first month of therapy

Monarch.com code HELPME for 50% off your first year

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Ep 273: Healing Loneliness - Allowing Universe Energy

When you really know innately that it’s not about you, you feel immediate relief in the face of any attack. It’s one thing to be in that place of confidence, legitimately. It’s another to want to be there but still be in a process of healing your emotional baggage. This episode is really about understanding what it looks and feels like to be healed. It’s aimed at giving yourself grace, relief, context for where you are and why. So that you can let go of a little bit of self-blame and also re-orient toward where it is you want to go. 

Healing and safety look different at different ages. We may need to boundary our lives very differently depending on the part of ourselves we are trying to grow. This is about growing out of ego and a habit of taking
things personally. It’s a lifelong process that takes conscious attention. To
not take things personally is the key to so much relief in life: It changes
what you say, what you do, what matters. How long fights last, how much pain you endure. How much loneliness and HURT you endure. When we come home to a knowledge that “I am good, therefore, I need nothing in validation from others,” we can skip so much suffering and deflect what others put onto us. I hope that you can validate a new part of yourself today…

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Monarch.com code HELPME for 50% off your first year

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Ep 272: What Healing Looks Like – Taking the You Out of It

Do you have the luxury of focus? This is what I want to invite you to pause, foster and create. This is for grounding in the chaos of rapid change – for me that is in the face of tech. Right now there is an immediacy paralysis. “I have to do everything so I cannot do anything.” This is about how to get back to a sense of agency, focus, and the freedom to be creative. By creative I mean open, objective and flexible versus in a threat state. 

A lot of my episodes are born of a reaction in myself or something experienced by one of my clients– this is no different. It is a huge asset to be able to focus right now. To be effective and start somewhere grounded– is the goal. Sending love and I hope this helps! 

Sponsors:

Betterhelp.com/helpmebeme - sign up and
get 10% off your first month of therapy

Monarch.com code HELPME for 50% off your
first year

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365 day returns 

Wayfair.com to shop all things home

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to 25 FREE meals

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Ep 271: What is my place in this world? Grounding in change

A lot of people right now are feeling overwhelmed. Emotionally, and in a focus sense. This can make you feel like you cannot find internal refuge: that there’s no way to refresh a positive attitude because worries occupy too much space. 

Thankfully, we have neuroplasticity. We can teach ourselves out of worry and scarcity. It starts with awareness of the state we are in– and then an intention to calm. And come home to the present. From here we have the agency to change.

This is for gracefully moving through a state of overwhelm. It is also about being a grownup: keeping the shine when life gets gnarly. There will be times when we feel overcome, but this too is a time to be great and reorient your POV. 

We are in a very transitional year – change is happening fast. Take heart, be gentle and loving with yourself. Be seen and connect to others in a loving, healing way. And smile. Sending love.

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Ep 270: Dealing with Overwhelm + Calming Self

That state of obsession with a worry. The spins, as I call it—where your brain comes back again and again, telling long elaborate stories about a made-up, not good future. This is your body on worry: sick, tense, and a bit dead in that a part of you is not in the present. Regardless of the probability behind the fear you’re focused on, all of this is inside your head and therefore totally optional. None of it exists in reality. If this is you right now, I want to remind you that this can be an opportunity for growth –all friction creates material for momentum toward growth and change. Try to reframe this as such. 

This episode is a “talk down” for getting out of this loop of thinking and into a state of presence and creativity. Sending love!

Sponsors:

Betterhelp.com/helpmebeme - sign up and get 10% off your first month of therapy

Monarch.com code HELPME for 50% off your first year

Quince.com/helpme for free shipping and 365 day returns 

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Marleyspoon.com/offer/helpmebeme up
to 25 FREE meals

Hungryroot.com/HELPMEBEME and use code HELPMEBEME
to get 40% off your first box and a free item of your choice for life
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Ep 278: Creative and Sensitive: Healing Your Energy

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