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Help Me Be Me is an emotional toolkit for creating positive change in yourself. I like to think of it as self-help for people who hate self-help. I'm Sarah May, coach/author/all-around happy person, and these are the tools that work for me in my life. For all of my offerings you can check out YayWithMe.com What I share on this show is my personal opinion. It's not a diagnosis for treatment or a substitute for professional help. If you're suffering, please reach out to your local emergency services or call 9-1-1. Find this podcast on YouTube at https://www.youtube.com/sarahmayb

Help Me Be Me

I want to bring up possible areas in your life where you are being driven by an old pattern: where motives are unconscious and not totally visible to you. Often these loops are reinforced by childhood boundaries we set up for good reasons – things that helped create stability in life. Things like a need to control. A need to be needed. A need to feel safe.

This is about seeing patterns in your life so you can be truly guided by your best interests versus the stuff you are unconsciously afraid of. A lot of things we tend to avoid are also things that can be positive for us. This has a few tools for channeling power, confidence, present-mindedness. What has your life path set up for you? It has led you to where you are today for good reason. 

If you identify as high-functioning, there’s a thing that tends to happen where you crash and have that moment where you ask: am I happy? Is this sustainable? That is the shadow side of a very healthy set of skills. That is what we are exploring together, today. Sending love!

Sponsors:

cheershealth.com/helpmebeme - get 20% off your order with code HELPMEBEME

Monarch.com code HELPME for 50% off your first year

Quince.com/helpme for free shipping and 365 day returns 

Wayfair.com to shop all things home

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ep 274: Fear Loops and How to Move Through Them

Numbness, isolation, loneliness. The voice of fear takes many different shapes and forms, many of them don’t look like fear. The voice will reinforce a state of constriction and energy-saving: don't reach out, don't be vulnerable. To heal means being accessible to divine energy — to something greater than your current emotional state — requires asking for help and practicing openness. That is how we move out of loneliness instead of remaining locked in fear. And we also need to be in the places where that energy can actually reach us. It’s there all the time, all around us. The question is whether we can get into a position to receive it.

If you’re chronically lonely the goal is to allow God in – or allow in the universal forces that expand you. Reaching openness means being accessible to change. We need to get out of the constricted state and enter the current. 

Plato had a concept of “ontos on” to describes "what really is," or, the really real: When something hits you as true, it’s associated with the permanent, timeless, and divine as opposed to fleeting physical existence. It’s a really important feeling for us to have: recognition of the really real. A moment when we are struck, when we recognize our human truths – when we are stirred. This is what we need to access in order for our lives to change, for positive change to be catalyzed. It doesn’t happen in a vacuum – we need to move outside of our tiny loop of fear and enter other spheres. That is what this episode is about.

Sponsors:

Betterhelp.com/helpmebeme - sign up and get
10% off your first month of therapy

Monarch.com code HELPME for 50% off your first year

Quince.com/helpme for free shipping and 365 day returns 

Wayfair.com to shop all things home
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ep 273: Healing Loneliness - Allowing Universe Energy

When you really know innately that it’s not about you, you feel immediate relief in the face of any attack. It’s one thing to be in that place of confidence, legitimately. It’s another to want to be there but still be in a process of healing your emotional baggage. This episode is really about understanding what it looks and feels like to be healed. It’s aimed at giving yourself grace, relief, context for where you are and why. So that you can let go of a little bit of self-blame and also re-orient toward where it is you want to go. 

Healing and safety look different at different ages. We may need to boundary our lives very differently depending on the part of ourselves we are trying to grow. This is about growing out of ego and a habit of taking
things personally. It’s a lifelong process that takes conscious attention. To
not take things personally is the key to so much relief in life: It changes
what you say, what you do, what matters. How long fights last, how much pain you endure. How much loneliness and HURT you endure. When we come home to a knowledge that “I am good, therefore, I need nothing in validation from others,” we can skip so much suffering and deflect what others put onto us. I hope that you can validate a new part of yourself today…

Sponsors:

Betterhelp.com/helpmebeme - sign up and get 10% off your first month of therapy

Monarch.com code HELPME for 50% off your first year

Quince.com/helpme for free shipping and 365 day returns 

Wayfair.com to shop all things home

Marleyspoon.com/offer/helpmebeme up to 25 FREE meals

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ep 272: What Healing Looks Like – Taking the You Out of It

Do you have the luxury of focus? This is what I want to invite you to pause, foster and create. This is for grounding in the chaos of rapid change – for me that is in the face of tech. Right now there is an immediacy paralysis. “I have to do everything so I cannot do anything.” This is about how to get back to a sense of agency, focus, and the freedom to be creative. By creative I mean open, objective and flexible versus in a threat state. 

A lot of my episodes are born of a reaction in myself or something experienced by one of my clients– this is no different. It is a huge asset to be able to focus right now. To be effective and start somewhere grounded– is the goal. Sending love and I hope this helps! 

Sponsors:

Betterhelp.com/helpmebeme - sign up and
get 10% off your first month of therapy

Monarch.com code HELPME for 50% off your
first year

Quince.com/helpme for free shipping and
365 day returns 

Wayfair.com to shop all things home

Marleyspoon.com/offer/helpmebeme up
to 25 FREE meals

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ep 271: What is my place in this world? Grounding in change

A lot of people right now are feeling overwhelmed. Emotionally, and in a focus sense. This can make you feel like you cannot find internal refuge: that there’s no way to refresh a positive attitude because worries occupy too much space. 

Thankfully, we have neuroplasticity. We can teach ourselves out of worry and scarcity. It starts with awareness of the state we are in– and then an intention to calm. And come home to the present. From here we have the agency to change.

This is for gracefully moving through a state of overwhelm. It is also about being a grownup: keeping the shine when life gets gnarly. There will be times when we feel overcome, but this too is a time to be great and reorient your POV. 

We are in a very transitional year – change is happening fast. Take heart, be gentle and loving with yourself. Be seen and connect to others in a loving, healing way. And smile. Sending love.

To support our sponsors:

Wayfair.com to shop all things homeMarleyspoon.com/offer/helpmebeme for up to 25 FREE meals

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ep 270: Dealing with Overwhelm + Calming Self

That state of obsession with a worry. The spins, as I call it—where your brain comes back again and again, telling long elaborate stories about a made-up, not good future. This is your body on worry: sick, tense, and a bit dead in that a part of you is not in the present. Regardless of the probability behind the fear you’re focused on, all of this is inside your head and therefore totally optional. None of it exists in reality. If this is you right now, I want to remind you that this can be an opportunity for growth –all friction creates material for momentum toward growth and change. Try to reframe this as such. 

This episode is a “talk down” for getting out of this loop of thinking and into a state of presence and creativity. Sending love!

Sponsors:

Betterhelp.com/helpmebeme - sign up and get 10% off your first month of therapy

Monarch.com code HELPME for 50% off your first year

Quince.com/helpme for free shipping and 365 day returns 

Wayfair.com to shop all things home

Marleyspoon.com/offer/helpmebeme up
to 25 FREE meals

Hungryroot.com/HELPMEBEME and use code HELPMEBEME
to get 40% off your first box and a free item of your choice for life
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ep 269: Soothing the Pit of Anxiety: Working through catastrophizing

This is about coming from intentionality versus the myopia of fear. It’s about the power of what we say to ourselves to expect. What we intend creates reality. The first thing I wanted to describe to you is the power of having a clear intention when you walk into any sphere – for example, your next conversation. Make your self-definition your north star as you enter that room. For example, saying to yourself, “My goal is to inspire with creativity, to connect in love, to come from wholeness, and to be funny.” 

Life is based on a prompt, in that thoughts are prompts: we choose what will be with the intent we have when we walk into any situation. This is about being aware of this and really examining areas where fear might be blocking love and truth. We get clouded energetically by fear and we shed parts of ourselves through our lifetime because we are afraid to care about something too much. Fear of loss causes us to abandon who we really are in small ways. So this is an episode that will hopefully reconnect you with parts of yourself through journaling. Sending love!!

 Sponsors:

Wayfair.com to shop all things home 

MarleySpoon.com/offer/helpmebeme for up to 25 FREE meals

Hungryroot.com/HELPMEBEME and use code HELPMEBEME
to get 40% off your first box and a free item of your choice for life

armoire.style/HELPMEBEME to get up to 60% off your first month

 

 

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ep 268: Prompting Life - You are what you believe

This episode will hopefully give you an epiphany! Negative feedback loops have a huge impact on intimate relationships. They are also a major factor in self-perception: perception of your life and what others mean to you. We base our opinions of our relationships on the signals we receive from them, which, in turn, create return signals. 

There are two selves we inhabit: the “whole self” and the “fear self”. These two selves make very different decisions and they act from very different places. The fear self will come from childhood powerlessness where the motive is always to grasp for control and “fix it.” This self operates from a fictional and dysfunctional belief that it is possible and also our job to fix things. The whole self comes from truth. That self knows where the boundary between self and other stands. The whole self can detach with love when necessary and also see when they need to be accountable and give more. The goal is to always act from the whole self and also give love unconditionally. 

This episode has tools to get to that wholeness and also restore the love that gets eroded by negative feedback loops – the ones that occur when both parties are reacting from fear and a misinterpretation of the other person’s cues. SENDING LOVE!!!

Sponsors:Betterhelp.com/helpmebeme - sign up and get 10% off your first month of therapyMonarch.com code HELPME for 50% off your first yearQuince.com/helpme for free shipping and 365 day returns Wayfair.com to shop all things homeMarleyspoon.com/offer/helpmebeme up to 25 FREE mealsHungryroot.com/HELPMEBEME and use code HELPMEBEME to get 40% off your first box and a free item of your choice for life
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ep 267: Negative Feedback Loops + Reviving Love

At the end of the year, the beginning of the new year one can feel depleted or stuck. This is an episode with a lot of light, perspective-gaining tools to practice ease and spaciousness. It's for recognizing where you’re depleted, where you’re defensive or clingy, and also coming back home to a solid, positive mindset. This is for post-holiday crashing – something that happens to a lot of caregivers as well as sensitive and creative people. This is a reminder sort of episode: to ride that wave and float atop it as it passes, thinking of it more as a stage of rebirth. That feeling of depletion or even depression is a part of a transition. Often it’s a dip of energy needed to alert you to the need for rest and restoration. Enjoy this and sip some tea with a journal!

Support this week’s sponsors:
Chewy: Send your pet’s wish to Chewy.com/ChewyClaus and
it might become a reality. Plus, your wish means Chewy will donate 5 meals to pets in need.

Indeed: Indeed.com/HELPMEBEME for a $75 sponsored job credit

Ritual: ritual.com/helpmebeme for 25% your first month 

TruDiagnostic: TruDiagnostic.com and use code HELPMEBEME for 20% off your entire order or subscription

Marley Spoon: Marleyspoon.com/offer/helpmebeme for up to 25 free meals
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ep 266: Riding the Wave of Self

This is a super woo episode! It’s for all my creative friends and anyone who is feeling fearful and reactive in the state of uncertainty. If you’re a creative person and you feel stuck or stunted by fear, this is a grounding episode for clarity and building momentum. It’s a reflection episode in that I invite you to be more present and focus on where you can channel energy. In a nutshell, I am talking about what many refer to “divine feminine energy” – this is not about gender, but more an opposite energy that is essential to creativity: that state of “allowing” versus “muscling” and goal-setting. I personally have been out of balance lately in that I have been in the muscling, goal-setting “masculine” energy. I am inviting more balance into my life where I can be more in the welcoming and inspired – especially during this winter stage of life. If this sounds like something you need, this episode will hopefully bring you more calm and serenity. This is for creating balance in your life in your energy and in your future year. 

When I talk about masculine and feminine - I am talking about poles, like a yin-yang, not genders – so when you hear those terms you can refer to them as opposites that don’t really relate to cultural gender definitions.

Regardless I send you love and wish you a happy holiday season! Xox

The book I mentioned:

https://amzn.to/3L4ntk5

Sponsors:Chewy: Send your pet’s wish to Chewy.com/ChewyClaus and it might become a reality. Plus, your wish means Chewy will donate 5 meals to pets in need.

Indeed: Indeed.com/HELPMEBEME for a $75 sponsored job credit

Ritual: ritual.com/helpmebeme for 25% your first month 

TruDiagnostic: TruDiagnostic.com and use code HELPMEBEME for 20% off your entire order or subscription
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ep 274: Fear Loops and How to Move Through Them

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