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Help Me Be Me is an emotional toolkit for creating positive change in yourself. I like to think of it as self-help for people who hate self-help. I'm Sarah May, coach/author/all-around happy person, and these are the tools that work for me in my life. For all of my offerings you can check out YayWithMe.com What I share on this show is my personal opinion. It's not a diagnosis for treatment or a substitute for professional help. If you're suffering, please reach out to your local emergency services or call 9-1-1. Find this podcast on YouTube at https://www.youtube.com/sarahmayb

Help Me Be Me

A lot of people right now are feeling overwhelmed. Emotionally, and in a focus sense. This can make you feel like you cannot find internal refuge: that there’s no way to refresh a positive attitude because worries occupy too much space. 

Thankfully, we have neuroplasticity. We can teach ourselves out of worry and scarcity. It starts with awareness of the state we are in– and then an intention to calm. And come home to the present. From here we have the agency to change.

This is for gracefully moving through a state of overwhelm. It is also about being a grownup: keeping the shine when life gets gnarly. There will be times when we feel overcome, but this too is a time to be great and reorient your POV. 

We are in a very transitional year – change is happening fast. Take heart, be gentle and loving with yourself. Be seen and connect to others in a loving, healing way. And smile. Sending love.

To support our sponsors:

Wayfair.com to shop all things homeMarleyspoon.com/offer/helpmebeme for up to 25 FREE meals

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ep 270: Dealing with Overwhelm + Calming Self

That state of obsession with a worry. The spins, as I call it—where your brain comes back again and again, telling long elaborate stories about a made-up, not good future. This is your body on worry: sick, tense, and a bit dead in that a part of you is not in the present. Regardless of the probability behind the fear you’re focused on, all of this is inside your head and therefore totally optional. None of it exists in reality. If this is you right now, I want to remind you that this can be an opportunity for growth –all friction creates material for momentum toward growth and change. Try to reframe this as such. 

This episode is a “talk down” for getting out of this loop of thinking and into a state of presence and creativity. Sending love!

Sponsors:

Betterhelp.com/helpmebeme - sign up and get 10% off your first month of therapy

Monarch.com code HELPME for 50% off your first year

Quince.com/helpme for free shipping and 365 day returns 

Wayfair.com to shop all things home

Marleyspoon.com/offer/helpmebeme up
to 25 FREE meals

Hungryroot.com/HELPMEBEME and use code HELPMEBEME
to get 40% off your first box and a free item of your choice for life
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ep 269: Soothing the Pit of Anxiety: Working through catastrophizing

This is about coming from intentionality versus the myopia of fear. It’s about the power of what we say to ourselves to expect. What we intend creates reality. The first thing I wanted to describe to you is the power of having a clear intention when you walk into any sphere – for example, your next conversation. Make your self-definition your north star as you enter that room. For example, saying to yourself, “My goal is to inspire with creativity, to connect in love, to come from wholeness, and to be funny.” 

Life is based on a prompt, in that thoughts are prompts: we choose what will be with the intent we have when we walk into any situation. This is about being aware of this and really examining areas where fear might be blocking love and truth. We get clouded energetically by fear and we shed parts of ourselves through our lifetime because we are afraid to care about something too much. Fear of loss causes us to abandon who we really are in small ways. So this is an episode that will hopefully reconnect you with parts of yourself through journaling. Sending love!!

 Sponsors:

Wayfair.com to shop all things home 

MarleySpoon.com/offer/helpmebeme for up to 25 FREE meals

Hungryroot.com/HELPMEBEME and use code HELPMEBEME
to get 40% off your first box and a free item of your choice for life

armoire.style/HELPMEBEME to get up to 60% off your first month

 

 

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ep 268: Prompting Life - You are what you believe

This episode will hopefully give you an epiphany! Negative feedback loops have a huge impact on intimate relationships. They are also a major factor in self-perception: perception of your life and what others mean to you. We base our opinions of our relationships on the signals we receive from them, which, in turn, create return signals. 

There are two selves we inhabit: the “whole self” and the “fear self”. These two selves make very different decisions and they act from very different places. The fear self will come from childhood powerlessness where the motive is always to grasp for control and “fix it.” This self operates from a fictional and dysfunctional belief that it is possible and also our job to fix things. The whole self comes from truth. That self knows where the boundary between self and other stands. The whole self can detach with love when necessary and also see when they need to be accountable and give more. The goal is to always act from the whole self and also give love unconditionally. 

This episode has tools to get to that wholeness and also restore the love that gets eroded by negative feedback loops – the ones that occur when both parties are reacting from fear and a misinterpretation of the other person’s cues. SENDING LOVE!!!

Sponsors:Betterhelp.com/helpmebeme - sign up and get 10% off your first month of therapyMonarch.com code HELPME for 50% off your first yearQuince.com/helpme for free shipping and 365 day returns Wayfair.com to shop all things homeMarleyspoon.com/offer/helpmebeme up to 25 FREE mealsHungryroot.com/HELPMEBEME and use code HELPMEBEME to get 40% off your first box and a free item of your choice for life
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ep 267: Negative Feedback Loops + Reviving Love

At the end of the year, the beginning of the new year one can feel depleted or stuck. This is an episode with a lot of light, perspective-gaining tools to practice ease and spaciousness. It's for recognizing where you’re depleted, where you’re defensive or clingy, and also coming back home to a solid, positive mindset. This is for post-holiday crashing – something that happens to a lot of caregivers as well as sensitive and creative people. This is a reminder sort of episode: to ride that wave and float atop it as it passes, thinking of it more as a stage of rebirth. That feeling of depletion or even depression is a part of a transition. Often it’s a dip of energy needed to alert you to the need for rest and restoration. Enjoy this and sip some tea with a journal!

Support this week’s sponsors:
Chewy: Send your pet’s wish to Chewy.com/ChewyClaus and
it might become a reality. Plus, your wish means Chewy will donate 5 meals to pets in need.

Indeed: Indeed.com/HELPMEBEME for a $75 sponsored job credit

Ritual: ritual.com/helpmebeme for 25% your first month 

TruDiagnostic: TruDiagnostic.com and use code HELPMEBEME for 20% off your entire order or subscription

Marley Spoon: Marleyspoon.com/offer/helpmebeme for up to 25 free meals
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ep 266: Riding the Wave of Self

This is a super woo episode! It’s for all my creative friends and anyone who is feeling fearful and reactive in the state of uncertainty. If you’re a creative person and you feel stuck or stunted by fear, this is a grounding episode for clarity and building momentum. It’s a reflection episode in that I invite you to be more present and focus on where you can channel energy. In a nutshell, I am talking about what many refer to “divine feminine energy” – this is not about gender, but more an opposite energy that is essential to creativity: that state of “allowing” versus “muscling” and goal-setting. I personally have been out of balance lately in that I have been in the muscling, goal-setting “masculine” energy. I am inviting more balance into my life where I can be more in the welcoming and inspired – especially during this winter stage of life. If this sounds like something you need, this episode will hopefully bring you more calm and serenity. This is for creating balance in your life in your energy and in your future year. 

When I talk about masculine and feminine - I am talking about poles, like a yin-yang, not genders – so when you hear those terms you can refer to them as opposites that don’t really relate to cultural gender definitions.

Regardless I send you love and wish you a happy holiday season! Xox

The book I mentioned:

https://amzn.to/3L4ntk5

Sponsors:Chewy: Send your pet’s wish to Chewy.com/ChewyClaus and it might become a reality. Plus, your wish means Chewy will donate 5 meals to pets in need.

Indeed: Indeed.com/HELPMEBEME for a $75 sponsored job credit

Ritual: ritual.com/helpmebeme for 25% your first month 

TruDiagnostic: TruDiagnostic.com and use code HELPMEBEME for 20% off your entire order or subscription
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ep 265: Winter Creative Restoration

A visioning practice as we close out the year. This is for making space for what is meant to come forth. This is for anyone wanting to process what is inside and position themselves for the year to come. I have lots of prompts in this one for reflecting and journaling. I also have lots of prompts for creating a vision board! A link to these prompts is linked below – in the case you want to just listen along and then do them in a journal and make a vision board later. 

I have been doing this myself because it’s easy to get so busy. We need a moment to checkin with where we’re at – what’s working, what needs tweaking. For me the ideal way to move through life is constantly course correcting, refining the recipe for your day, as you go. To be happy and fulfilled, we have to stop and take time to reflect on our life: what’s working and what we want to let go of. This ep is that opportunity!!

Here’s Pam Grout’s book which I love:

https://amzn.to/48BhwD5

Here are the prompts from this episode:

https://yaywithme.squarespace.com/visioning-2025

Sponsors:

Chewy: chewpanions.chewy.com/YAYWITHME to get $20 off your first order.

Indeed: Indeed.com/HELPMEBEME for a $75 sponsored job credit

Ritual: ritual.com/helpmebeme for 25% your first month 

TruDiagnostic: TruDiagnostic.com and use code HELPMEBEME for 20% off your entire order or subscription
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ep 264: Visioning + Energy Clearing for the new year

This is for working on relationships in your life where you have weak boundaries. If there is a loved one who doesn’t respect your boundaries and you feel guilty for needing space from them, know that that is part of your upbringing and the feeling of needing space is your emotional health saying “I need to heal.” This is an episode to give you some relief around that set of feelings. It has some tools for coming into the present, tuning into your body. 

Truly healthy and loving relationships are built between two capable individuals who show up with heartfelt effort. This also applies with your relationship to yourself: you need to show up for you and set consistent boundaries around harmful situations. If there’s a person in your life who is not honoring you and your values, it’s up to you to boundary how you deserve to be treated. There need to be consequences when someone is not treating you with basic human respect. If there’s a person in your life who is having all their cake while you beg for emotional crumbs, this is an episode about confronting change and moving toward action. The inner world will match the outer world: your bar has to be consistent for everyone in your life otherwise your self-worth is affected in all spheres. Sending love! 

Sponsors:

Factor: FactorMeals.com/HELPMEBEME50OFF and use
code HELPMEBEME50OFF to get 50% off your first box, plus Free Breakfast for 1 Year.

BetterHelp: betterhelp.com/helpmebeme to get 10% off your first
month of therapy 

Indeed: Indeed.com/HELPMEBEME for a $75 sponsored job credit

Ritual: ritual.com/helpmebeme for 25% your first month

TruDiagnostic: TruDiagnostic.com and use code HELPMEBEME for
20% off your entire order or subscription
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ep 263: Enforcing Healthy Boundaries – Cake eaters + crumb beggars

We have a finite reserve of drive, otherwise known as libido. Libido is often used to refer to sexual desire but it also refers to a psychological drive – an energy for life satisfaction. In this episode I am referring to your drive and your ibido as psychic energy in general. This is about protecting your source of drive: channeling it toward that which you truly desire on a deep, personal level. Often in life, our drive gets fractured or frustrated by the needs of others or by filling the void with things like substances. 

I invite you to reflect on what’s happening in your life and where your libido is currently going. It needs to be channeled toward that which is most important to you. We must create a strong and consistent “container” or safe space for ourselves to bring forth any goal. Whatever condition in your life is stealing you away from a goal – I encourage you to be active in that fight even if it is unpleasant. That is a step in the process of change. Being in the struggle is how we move planets in our life.

The books I mention in the episode are here:

https://amzn.to/3XkmC17

https://amzn.to/43eEyOg

 And this is the dreamwork book:

https://amzn.to/3Xg3i5a

Support our sponsors:
Chewy: chewpanions.chewy.com/YAYWITHME to get $20 off your first order.Indeed: Indeed.com/HELPMEBEME for a $75 sponsored job creditBetterHelp: betterhelp.com/helpmebeme to get 10% off your first month of therapy Ritual: ritual.com/helpmebeme for 25% your first month TruDiagnostic: TruDiagnostic.com and use code HELPMEBEME for 20% off your entire order or subscriptionBubs Naturals: BubsNaturals.com and use code HELPMEBEME for 20% off

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ep 262: Protecting Your Drive – Channeling Life Force

Sometimes there is a path forward that we have not leveraged because we spin out in guilty ruminations and projections. You may want to get out of a relationship or change a condition in your life, but you defer to another person’s thoughts as you imagine them in your own mind. We often block ourselves from aligning with a truth with self-limiting beliefs and guilt because for codependents guilt is INTENSE. This is about ways that codependency can show up: allowing the feelings of others to block us from what we want.

This is aimed at reflection and a chance to look inward. I wanted to say if you’re in a place like this – you feel stuck and it feels like it’s all on this other person, that is an opportunity to step back, tune in, and practice letting go. Sending love…

The book I mention is this lovely read:

https://amzn.to/4oB0o6I

Sponsors:

Factor: FactorMeals.com/HELPMEBEME50OFF and use code HELPMEBEME50OFF to get 50% off your first box, plus Free Breakfast for 1 Year.BetterHelp: betterhelp.com/helpmebeme to get 10% off your first month of therapy Indeed: Indeed.com/HELPMEBEME for a $75 sponsored job creditHeadspace: Headspace.com/HELPMEBEME60 to unlock all of Headspace FREE for 60 daysRitual: ritual.com/helpmebeme for 25% your first month
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ep 270: Dealing with Overwhelm + Calming Self

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