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Help Me Be Me is an emotional toolkit for creating positive change in yourself. I like to think of it as self-help for people who hate self-help. I'm Sarah May, coach/author/all-around happy person, and these are the tools that work for me in my life. For all of my offerings you can check out YayWithMe.com What I share on this show is my personal opinion. It's not a diagnosis for treatment or a substitute for professional help. If you're suffering, please reach out to your local emergency services or call 9-1-1. Find this podcast on YouTube at https://www.youtube.com/sarahmayb

Help Me Be Me

The hardest thing to do is be guided by the highest self versus the weakest, triggered self. The weakest self wants a fix: wants to self-soothe in the face of a low feeling. When we can create a strong routine and a safe container, we can be guided by our highest, wisest self and we will witness our life be guided by what we actually want. 

What does it mean to have a safe container? It means you can create a consistent pattern in your life where you are able to feel grounded, you can honor yourself, and you can boundary your life around the treatment you
choose for yourself. When we are able to create consistency for ourselves in
our personal bar for treatment – by eliminating negative treatment from others that violate that bar, what happens is we create a new normal: we see growth, healthy change and an increased feeling of value. This creates a feeling of safety and happiness. The little you – the inner child – feels honored, seen, respected. This is when healing and self-work really “takes” and we see progress: our patterns of coping, self-soothing and compromise, fall away. We literally grow out of them. Sending love!!

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Ep 284: The Safe Container: Moving from Healed + Higher

Your attention is your superpower means that whatever you give attention to will grow. That is the simple takeaway I want to give you with this episode. The most powerful force in your life is your attention: what you focus on, what you grow with your focus, and what you move past with deliberate
soothing very much dictates what the dominant trajectory is in your life. You
can alter every situation with what you intend: it’s what creates outcomes in
your relationships, and in the way you choose to view the world. This is
an episode inspired by a training I recently attended about enhancing intuition and being able to channel yourself toward your highest self. What it boils down to is not being driven by fear and shadow: remembering to lead from the good and trust that you can act from this place and let the doubt go. Sending much love! Support this week’s sponsors:

Quince.com/helpme for free shipping and 365 day returns 

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Ep 283: Attention is Your Superpower

This episode is for creating emotional relief and soothing. I have tools for healing unhealthy loops, tools for giving yourself kindness and calm, and clearing your energy in the moment something old arises. I am pretty excited about this episode because it’s something I have been practicing
myself frequently and I think it’s pretty magical. It’s about giving your brain
external feedback to alter the hold of runhealthy energy. I think one thing
that people often underestimate is visual feedback: how your space being clear and open translates directly to how calm you feel, for example. I have some visual practices that I will describe but if it helps you can also watch this on YouTube. 

Here is the podcast channel on YouTube:

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOWnmmRaDe-yI2A1IVUhUx0Zi1mKnH3gj

Here’s the book I am reading and loving that inspired some of the tools:

https://amzn.to/4xzCYmF

Sponsors: 

Betterhelp.com/helpmebeme - sign up and get 10% off your first month of therapy 

AquaTru.com -
get 20% off your purifier using promo code HELPMEBEME

Quince.com/helpme for free shipping and 365 day returns 

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Ep 282: Cutting Invisible Ties – a practice of freeing oneself

When we practice a solid routine of taking care of ourselves, we build a resource we can return to and rely on. It grows from the practice of calming the self when we would otherwise be reactive to the drama of the outside world. When we override the base level responses, we grow our locus of control. A quiet reserve, a core that is much like a friend. That center can hold space: it has a memory that you can trust yourself, that you have been here before, and yes, everything will be okay. You can float through the waves. We become our own resource.

This is an episode about recalling a sense of trust, faith, calmness in the face of a familiar, old panic. That panic might arise from a trigger of powerlessness: a perspective of lack that might come from any number of things – loss of title, not getting a job, a number on a scale. These familiar old triggers initiate a mental scarcity narrative that generates unhealth: your body receives a message that you are not safe, that there is ongoing threat. So this is an episode with tools for calming in the face of that. Calming, non-attachment allows us to reset reality anew and live in a different future. A positive and possible one. 

Support this week’s sponsors:

Quince.com/helpme for free shipping and 365 day returns Wayfair.com to shop all things home
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ep 281: Calming Self + Generating Coherence

When an issue recurs in your life and you attract a specific kind of person or conflict, some would label that as karmic. A loop can also be a pattern we
fall into that draws energy and creative force away from us – something that doesn’t align with our goals in life. The loops that I am talking about in this episode are mostly relationship-based there are also tools around individual behaviors. I called this “going along with it anyway” because it’s really about that moment of override: when our bodies tell us that something is wrong and we still get pulled into a conflict that makes us lose track of our values. What I find is when I get into these situations, there is something origin-based being triggered: a need to please or appease or prove our validity. When we heal from these wounds, we can completely skip them and do not get pulled into a compromising negotiation. 

That book I keep talking about is: The game of life and how to play it. 

https://amzn.to/3T3qaWY

Sponsors: 

Betterhelp.com/helpmebeme - sign up and get 10% off your first month of therapy 

AquaTru.com - get 20% off your purifier using promo code HELPMEBEME

Quince.com/helpme for free shipping and 365 day returns 

Wayfair.com to shop all things home

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Ep 280: Going Along With it Anyway– Growing out of karmic loops

We affect a lot in our life path with our energy and our intentionality. You quite literally get back what you put out – like attracts like. This is about having faith and putting the right magnets into this world. Leading with love. One thought from one of the books I am reading is, “The subconscious is energy without direction.” Meaning, it just flows at whatever you think about, it doesn’t factor in the qualifiers you may mentally be wrapping around that concept. So if you are thinking about a future situation, thinking “I don’t want this thing,” your subconscious energy is really just channeling the thing. With that in mind, how can you be really clear and intentional about what you focus on and what you tell yourself with your actions and the contexts you place yourself? 

This has exercises for welcoming only goodness, love and success. 

I have a couple books I am reading right now that I love and they very much inspired this episode. If you’d like to check them out:

https://amzn.to/4gjPW2G

https://amzn.to/4v9YuNm

Support our sponsors:

Quince.com/helpme for free shipping and 365 day returns 

Wayfair.com to shop all things home
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ep 279: Wonderful Change – Intentional Energy

If you’re a creative person, you are likely vulnerable to a lot of specific conditions: anxiety, boredom and also overly harsh self-analysis. Because you are right-brained, you are overly harsh on yourself and you imagine others judging you more harshly than they do.

I have a few creative loved ones affected recently by the harshness of life (suffering on a soul level). Not saying it was all the fact that they are creative, but I do think it’s a big factor. If you’re creative, you are overly feeling– and also get bored by “the system” so it’s a double whammy. I am writing this with the hopes that it gets you into a better channel of thinking and using your creativity for positive change in your life. It has some tools for enhancing ego and intuition, and love for self.

Sponsors: 

AquaTru.com - get 20% off your purifier using promo code HELPMEBEME

Quince.com/helpme for free shipping and 365 day returns 

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Ep 278: Creative and Sensitive: Healing Your Energy

This is an energy cleanser that will get you feeling hopeful about change. It includes how to stop rumination, how to change yourself, and how to make progress toward your goals especially if you get stuck in self-doubt. This is kind of like a mid-year self-review episode with journal exercises that reminds you to stay in the energy of love while taking stock of where you’re at on your goals. You can think of it as a set of positive reminders for how you choose to be, and coming home to a physical memory of love and optimism. Our energy is a daily maintenance practice that we need to be intentional about. Listening to this is kind of like a reminder for who you intend to be! 

Definitely check the tools on this episode if you feel stuck or like you’re in a negative mindset. 
Sponsors:

Betterhelp.com/helpmebeme - sign up and get 10% off your first month of therapy

Quince.com/helpme for free shipping and 365 day returns 

Wayfair.com to shop all things home

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ep 277: What Do I Love and Choose - A Mid-Year Check-in

This episode is about the underground engine that drives a lot of our choices, our reactions, and loops that keep us stuck. A lot of the things that block us are really overcompensations based in fear. They remain hidden from view because they are so engrained and we default to them because we are on autopilot due to stress. 

This is inspired by recent coaching I am doing, myself, around the enneagram! I am a fan of this framework, and I find it to be insightful. I highly recommend trying a test to see what your fear protection strategies might be. The main outcome of knowing your tendencies is being able to decide if you want to grow out of them. So many are different than we think they are/you may be mislabeling a lot of your current motives, now. Sending
love!

This is my enneagram coach’s site.

Here's more info about the types. 

Sponsors: 

AquaTru.com - get 20% off your purifier using promo code HELPMEBEME

Quince.com/helpme for free shipping and 365 day returns 

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Ep 276: Enneagram + Fear: Overriding Defaults

We often feel shattered when someone takes our identity away in some shape or form: a job, a relationship—a portrait of one’s self. This is an episode for anyone who lost a job or a relationship. An identity where you
suddenly don’t know where to turn for grounding and solace.

I am talking to a lot of people on the brink of an uncharted path. Right now industries are constricting, a lot of people are feeling scarce. I think this will also be relevant if you recently lost a relationship or any routine that kept you feeling a sense of self. Really dramatic change can be traumatic, but it can also forced growth. 

It can be really hard to not have a schedule: suddenly everything is yours to decide and validate. Without assignments and a role, it can be really hard to channel your energy: where do I even start?

In this window of untethered life, my message to you is not to come from, “Who can I beg? Who would even take me?” which is fear/lack/scarcity. If you are in that state, know that what you need to do is give yourself love. And come home to all the power and greatness you are capable of. To get to that knowing – we need to tune our perspective. 

What we must return to is that energy of limitlessness, safety, spaciousness, empowerment. That place of “what do I truly love and care
about – that is pure and unfettered within my soul?” That is a place that
flows and creates value that no one else can replicate. We need to have that energy of agency: it’s having a feeling of safety within oneself. That is the emphasis in that sentence: within oneself.

Sponsors:Betterhelp.com/helpmebeme - sign up and get 10% off your first month of therapyQuince.com/helpme for free shipping and 365 day returns Wayfair.com to shop all things home
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ep 275: Loss and Fear – Facing uncertainty as with a job loss

Sometimes there is a path forward that we have not leveraged because we spin out in guilty ruminations and projections. You may want to get out of a relationship or change a condition in your life, but you defer to another person’s thoughts as you imagine them in your own mind. We often block ourselves from aligning with a truth with self-limiting beliefs and guilt because for codependents guilt is INTENSE. This is about ways that codependency can show up: allowing the feelings of others to block us from what we want.

This is aimed at reflection and a chance to look inward. I wanted to say if you’re in a place like this – you feel stuck and it feels like it’s all on this other person, that is an opportunity to step back, tune in, and practice letting go. Sending love…

The book I mention is this lovely read:

https://amzn.to/4oB0o6I

Sponsors:

Factor: FactorMeals.com/HELPMEBEME50OFF and use code HELPMEBEME50OFF to get 50% off your first box, plus Free Breakfast for 1 Year.BetterHelp: betterhelp.com/helpmebeme to get 10% off your first month of therapy Indeed: Indeed.com/HELPMEBEME for a $75 sponsored job creditHeadspace: Headspace.com/HELPMEBEME60 to unlock all of Headspace FREE for 60 daysRitual: ritual.com/helpmebeme for 25% your first month
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Ep 261: Guilty Blocks: Finding the way forward

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