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Help Me Be Me is an emotional toolkit for creating positive change in yourself. I like to think of it as self-help for people who hate self-help. I'm Sarah May, coach/author/all-around happy person, and these are the tools that work for me in my life. For all of my offerings you can check out YayWithMe.com What I share on this show is my personal opinion. It's not a diagnosis for treatment or a substitute for professional help. If you're suffering, please reach out to your local emergency services or call 9-1-1. Find this podcast on YouTube at https://www.youtube.com/sarahmayb

Help Me Be Me

Yes, you think you can, but should you? If you are a “doer” who tends to do lots for everyone else, there is likely a part of you that is stuck in that position. It’s one that feels bound by duty and the expectations of others, yet it’s conditioned and created by us. But it almost feels as if we don’t have a choice. If you’re feeling overworked and threadbare, the first step is to recognize that you are living at the cost of yourself versus designing life based on the truth of who you are. This is a small lens shift. I think a lot of people live from a state of urgency and must – I must do it all, I cannot say no. This condition is sometimes referred to as “too perfect parenting” or being “high functioning" or "type A." For a recovering codependent, there’s an almost invisible line between being productive and being dysfunctional. I think the key question to ask yourself is “is it still working?” Sometimes in
life– it is working. Sometimes it is too much and we need to take a step back
to reassess. 

If you are a person who muscles through life – this is a restorative episode that is aimed at creating balance and a more joyful experience of your life. A creative energy manifestation episode, if you are a person who has lost your path to creativity because of having zero room for play.

Reference to the
enneagram types:

https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/

Sponsors: 

Betterhelp.com/helpmebeme - sign up and
get 10% off your first month of therapy 

Quince.com/helpme for free shipping and
365 day returns 

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Ep 285: Can vs. Should: The little engine that needs relief

The hardest thing to do is be guided by the highest self versus the weakest, triggered self. The weakest self wants a fix: wants to self-soothe in the face of a low feeling. When we can create a strong routine and a safe container, we can be guided by our highest, wisest self and we will witness our life be guided by what we actually want. 

What does it mean to have a safe container? It means you can create a consistent pattern in your life where you are able to feel grounded, you can honor yourself, and you can boundary your life around the treatment you
choose for yourself. When we are able to create consistency for ourselves in
our personal bar for treatment – by eliminating negative treatment from others that violate that bar, what happens is we create a new normal: we see growth, healthy change and an increased feeling of value. This creates a feeling of safety and happiness. The little you – the inner child – feels honored, seen, respected. This is when healing and self-work really “takes” and we see progress: our patterns of coping, self-soothing and compromise, fall away. We literally grow out of them. Sending love!!

Sponsors: 

AquaTru.com -
get 20% off your purifier using promo code HELPMEBEME

Quince.com/helpme for free shipping and 365 day returns 

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Ep 284: The Safe Container: Moving from Healed + Higher

Your attention is your superpower means that whatever you give attention to will grow. That is the simple takeaway I want to give you with this episode. The most powerful force in your life is your attention: what you focus on, what you grow with your focus, and what you move past with deliberate
soothing very much dictates what the dominant trajectory is in your life. You
can alter every situation with what you intend: it’s what creates outcomes in
your relationships, and in the way you choose to view the world. This is
an episode inspired by a training I recently attended about enhancing intuition and being able to channel yourself toward your highest self. What it boils down to is not being driven by fear and shadow: remembering to lead from the good and trust that you can act from this place and let the doubt go. Sending much love! Support this week’s sponsors:

Quince.com/helpme for free shipping and 365 day returns 

Wayfair.com to shop all things home
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ep 283: Attention is Your Superpower

This episode is for creating emotional relief and soothing. I have tools for healing unhealthy loops, tools for giving yourself kindness and calm, and clearing your energy in the moment something old arises. I am pretty excited about this episode because it’s something I have been practicing
myself frequently and I think it’s pretty magical. It’s about giving your brain
external feedback to alter the hold of runhealthy energy. I think one thing
that people often underestimate is visual feedback: how your space being clear and open translates directly to how calm you feel, for example. I have some visual practices that I will describe but if it helps you can also watch this on YouTube. 

Here is the podcast channel on YouTube:

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOWnmmRaDe-yI2A1IVUhUx0Zi1mKnH3gj

Here’s the book I am reading and loving that inspired some of the tools:

https://amzn.to/4xzCYmF

Sponsors: 

Betterhelp.com/helpmebeme - sign up and get 10% off your first month of therapy 

AquaTru.com -
get 20% off your purifier using promo code HELPMEBEME

Quince.com/helpme for free shipping and 365 day returns 

Wayfair.com to shop all things home
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ep 282: Cutting Invisible Ties – a practice of freeing oneself

When we practice a solid routine of taking care of ourselves, we build a resource we can return to and rely on. It grows from the practice of calming the self when we would otherwise be reactive to the drama of the outside world. When we override the base level responses, we grow our locus of control. A quiet reserve, a core that is much like a friend. That center can hold space: it has a memory that you can trust yourself, that you have been here before, and yes, everything will be okay. You can float through the waves. We become our own resource.

This is an episode about recalling a sense of trust, faith, calmness in the face of a familiar, old panic. That panic might arise from a trigger of powerlessness: a perspective of lack that might come from any number of things – loss of title, not getting a job, a number on a scale. These familiar old triggers initiate a mental scarcity narrative that generates unhealth: your body receives a message that you are not safe, that there is ongoing threat. So this is an episode with tools for calming in the face of that. Calming, non-attachment allows us to reset reality anew and live in a different future. A positive and possible one. 

Support this week’s sponsors:

Quince.com/helpme for free shipping and 365 day returns Wayfair.com to shop all things home
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ep 281: Calming Self + Generating Coherence

When an issue recurs in your life and you attract a specific kind of person or conflict, some would label that as karmic. A loop can also be a pattern we
fall into that draws energy and creative force away from us – something that doesn’t align with our goals in life. The loops that I am talking about in this episode are mostly relationship-based there are also tools around individual behaviors. I called this “going along with it anyway” because it’s really about that moment of override: when our bodies tell us that something is wrong and we still get pulled into a conflict that makes us lose track of our values. What I find is when I get into these situations, there is something origin-based being triggered: a need to please or appease or prove our validity. When we heal from these wounds, we can completely skip them and do not get pulled into a compromising negotiation. 

That book I keep talking about is: The game of life and how to play it. 

https://amzn.to/3T3qaWY

Sponsors: 

Betterhelp.com/helpmebeme - sign up and get 10% off your first month of therapy 

AquaTru.com - get 20% off your purifier using promo code HELPMEBEME

Quince.com/helpme for free shipping and 365 day returns 

Wayfair.com to shop all things home

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ep 280: Going Along With it Anyway– Growing out of karmic loops

We affect a lot in our life path with our energy and our intentionality. You quite literally get back what you put out – like attracts like. This is about having faith and putting the right magnets into this world. Leading with love. One thought from one of the books I am reading is, “The subconscious is energy without direction.” Meaning, it just flows at whatever you think about, it doesn’t factor in the qualifiers you may mentally be wrapping around that concept. So if you are thinking about a future situation, thinking “I don’t want this thing,” your subconscious energy is really just channeling the thing. With that in mind, how can you be really clear and intentional about what you focus on and what you tell yourself with your actions and the contexts you place yourself? 

This has exercises for welcoming only goodness, love and success. 

I have a couple books I am reading right now that I love and they very much inspired this episode. If you’d like to check them out:

https://amzn.to/4gjPW2G

https://amzn.to/4v9YuNm

Support our sponsors:

Quince.com/helpme for free shipping and 365 day returns 

Wayfair.com to shop all things home
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ep 279: Wonderful Change – Intentional Energy

If you’re a creative person, you are likely vulnerable to a lot of specific conditions: anxiety, boredom and also overly harsh self-analysis. Because you are right-brained, you are overly harsh on yourself and you imagine others judging you more harshly than they do.

I have a few creative loved ones affected recently by the harshness of life (suffering on a soul level). Not saying it was all the fact that they are creative, but I do think it’s a big factor. If you’re creative, you are overly feeling– and also get bored by “the system” so it’s a double whammy. I am writing this with the hopes that it gets you into a better channel of thinking and using your creativity for positive change in your life. It has some tools for enhancing ego and intuition, and love for self.

Sponsors: 

AquaTru.com - get 20% off your purifier using promo code HELPMEBEME

Quince.com/helpme for free shipping and 365 day returns 

Wayfair.com to shop all things home

 
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ep 278: Creative and Sensitive: Healing Your Energy

This is an energy cleanser that will get you feeling hopeful about change. It includes how to stop rumination, how to change yourself, and how to make progress toward your goals especially if you get stuck in self-doubt. This is kind of like a mid-year self-review episode with journal exercises that reminds you to stay in the energy of love while taking stock of where you’re at on your goals. You can think of it as a set of positive reminders for how you choose to be, and coming home to a physical memory of love and optimism. Our energy is a daily maintenance practice that we need to be intentional about. Listening to this is kind of like a reminder for who you intend to be! 

Definitely check the tools on this episode if you feel stuck or like you’re in a negative mindset. 
Sponsors:

Betterhelp.com/helpmebeme - sign up and get 10% off your first month of therapy

Quince.com/helpme for free shipping and 365 day returns 

Wayfair.com to shop all things home

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ep 277: What Do I Love and Choose - A Mid-Year Check-in

This episode is about the underground engine that drives a lot of our choices, our reactions, and loops that keep us stuck. A lot of the things that block us are really overcompensations based in fear. They remain hidden from view because they are so engrained and we default to them because we are on autopilot due to stress. 

This is inspired by recent coaching I am doing, myself, around the enneagram! I am a fan of this framework, and I find it to be insightful. I highly recommend trying a test to see what your fear protection strategies might be. The main outcome of knowing your tendencies is being able to decide if you want to grow out of them. So many are different than we think they are/you may be mislabeling a lot of your current motives, now. Sending
love!

This is my enneagram coach’s site.

Here's more info about the types. 

Sponsors: 

AquaTru.com - get 20% off your purifier using promo code HELPMEBEME

Quince.com/helpme for free shipping and 365 day returns 

Wayfair.com to shop all things home

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ep 276: Enneagram + Fear: Overriding Defaults

This is an episode for starting to work your way out of a codependent relationship.
When you’re in a relationship that really doesn’t make you feel better about yourself. Maybe it feels really unhealthy, or you know you’re not rewarded or happy. But you can’t leave – and you find yourself getting pulled back in again and again. This is also for anyone who is currently in a relationship with a person who they don’t trust. Maybe you have had issues with them in the past – they blame you for the issues in the relationship, they make you feel insecure and that you’re the crazy one. Maybe they have had a negative effect on your life – you’ve distanced from your friends, you have little positive input in your life outside of the time you spend together – and despite knowing that, you can’t seem to do anything about it. Heads up - as with all of my episodes, this is based on my personal experience and not a professional diagnosis. I strongly recommend therapy for this issue in particular. It worked great for me! There are 3 parts to this episode – the what, why and how – the tools!

And if you are interested in checking out our sponsor for this episode and getting $200 off all mattresses plus 2 eco-rest pillows, head to BirchLiving.com/HelpMeBeMe
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ep 148: Stuck in a Codependent and Bad Relationship – Tools for strength-building

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