Attachment Theory and How to Avoid the Mistakes Everyone Makes When They Learn About It

Attachment theory and how to avoid the mistakes everyone makes when they learn about it.

It’s probably your attachment style. Think of it as the relational software installed in your brain during your first 18 months. This episode is a crash course in understanding your programming and avoiding common mistakes.

We break down the four main styles: Secure, Anxious, Avoidant, and Disorganized. We explore the classic Anxious-Avoidant trap, where one person chases and the other retreats, creating a cycle of frustration. More importantly, we debunk the myth that these styles are a life sentence.

You'll get a practical, no-fluff guide to understanding your patterns and, crucially, how to start changing them for the better.

Spot the Red Flags: Learn to recognize an avoidant partner’s mixed messages so you can bypass the drama.

Get Your Crazy Out: Why being direct about your needs (especially if you're anxious) is the best dating strategy.

Ditch the Ghost: For avoidants, learn why idolizing a fantasy ex is sabotaging your chance at real happiness.

Listen now to finally make your love life make sense.

----

Advertisers

BetterHelp

The world's largest online therapy provider

BetterHelp.com/GrowthMindset - 10% off 1st month

Liquid I.V.

Sugar-free hydration for any occasion

Liquid-IV.com - 20% off with code GROWTH

----

NEW SHOW - How to Change the World

Sam's new show can be found on major podcast players:

Spotify - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/1Fj3eFjEoAEKF5lWQxPJyT⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Apple - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/how-to-change-the-world-the-history-of-innovation/id1815282649⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

YouTube - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@HowToChangeTheWorldPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Can't find it on your player?

RSS feed - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://feeds.acast.com/public/shows/682b3b86696b5d1232d698a8⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

----

UPGRADE to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Premium⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠:

🏖️ Ad-free listening

🤘 Support the show

🔓 Exclusive AMAs and bonus content

💬 Community Discord

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠GrowthMindset.Supercast.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Get in Touch

👋 Free Call - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Schedule Link⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ - https://cal.com/samwebster/mindset

📧 Email - GrowthMindsetPodcast (@) gmail,com

Growth Mindset Psychology:

Sam Webster explores the psychology of happiness, satisfaction, purpose, and growth through the lens of self-improvement.

📺 Watch - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube (Growth Mindset)⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

🛜 Website - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Growth Mindset⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Chapter:

00:00 Attachment styles

04:48 Origin of Attachment Styles

06:17 Secure attachment

07:11 Anxious attachment

08:17 Avoidant attachment

09:00 Disorganized attachment

09:22 Impact on Relationships

12:38 Advert - Magic mind

12:38 Common mistakes with attachment theory

14:57 Overgeneralize attachment styles

15:50 Neglecting the influence of context

17:49 Stigmatizing certain attachment styles

19:13 Oversimplifying the complexity of relationships

19:46 Misapplication of attachment theory

20:24 Ignoring change in attachment style

21:13 Mid-roll ad

21:17 Improving Attachment styles

24:31 Improve Anxious Attachment

27:06 Avoidant attachment traits

29:00 Avoidant style tips

30:23 Deeper areas to explore

31:11 Send off Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices