When his lack of friends becomes your problem: how the male loneliness epidemic affects women’s friendships

Everyone's talking about the male loneliness epidemic. But after six years of hosting this show and seven years of coaching women through their friendship issues, Danielle has noticed something that doesn't get nearly enough attention: men's friendship struggles don't stay contained. They spill over: into your energy, your guilt, your decisions about who you spend time with, and how much of yourself you actually have left to give your own friends.

When men are disconnected from one another, women bear the burden. In this episode, Danielle walks through three specific ways she's seen this play out, both in the research and across hundreds of coaching sessions. You'll also hear directly from 4 different listeners who submitted voice notes about what they're experiencing. She also shares clips from her conversation with researcher Sherrie Xue, whose study on men avoiding "date-like" activities with their male friends went viral for a reason.

🎧 BUT WAIT… THERE'S MORE.

This week in Office Hours, Danielle shares 2 additional observations backed by the research.

Members of Office Hours get supplementary material like this with every episode to deepen their friendships. Join anytime (and get your first two weeks free) at: https://friend-forward.captivate.fm/office-hours.

TOPICS IN THIS EPISODE:

• Where his emotions actually go when he can't bring them to his male friends • Sherrie Xue's viral study on why men won't go to a museum with their boys • The guilt that makes you choose friends based on whether your husband can come • Why some women stay in friendships that drain them… and it's not about the friendship • The demographic group with the largest gender friendship gap (it's not who you'd guess) • Voice notes from listeners living this right now

📚 EPISODE RESOURCES & REFERENCES:

• Previous episode about men’s friendships: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/are-mens-friendships-in-crisis-part-1-examining-the-problem/id1500460079?i=1000617147557 • Danielle’s viral reel discussing men’s friendships: https://www.instagram.com/reels/DU1CXX6DhHG/ • Sherrie Y. Xue, Stephanie C. Lin, and Christilene du Plessis, "The Persistence of Homophobia in Men's Friendship Norms" (published in Psychological Science • , 2025): https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/09567976251396084 • Emily C. Fox, "Are White Men Missing Out?: Differences in Friendship Closeness by Gender and Ethnoracial Identity" (published in Sex Roles • , 2026): https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11199-025-01638-7 • "The State of American Friendship: Change, Challenges, and Loss," Survey Center on American Life (May 2021): https://www.americansurveycenter.org/research/the-state-of-american-friendship-change-challenges-and-loss/ • Liz Plank, For the Love of Men: From Toxic to a More Mindful Masculinity • : https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250757203/fortheloveofmen/ • bell hooks, The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love • : https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/The-Will-to-Change/bell-hooks/9780743456081

🎙️ GET FEATURED ON THE PODCAST

Have a friendship question, hot take, or personal story you want featured? Send a voice note via Instagram DMs @friendforward or email a voice note or video to hello@betterfemalefriendships.com.

WORK WITH DANIELLE BAYARD JACKSON:

• Join Office Hours for bonus content and community → https://friend-forward.captivate.fm/office-hours • Join the Friendship Elevated Fall 2026 Waitlist → https://friend-forward.captivate.fm/friendship-elevated-waitlist • Check out more connection resources → https://friend-forward.captivate.fm/resources

FOLLOW DANIELLE BAYARD JACKSON:

• Get the book "Fighting for our Friendships" → https://friend-forward.captivate.fm/book • Follow on Instagram → https://friend-forward.captivate.fm/instagram • Follow on TikTok → https://friend-forward.captivate.fm/tiktok • Learn more about Danielle → https://friend-forward.captivate.fm/website

🗣️ BOOK DANIELLE TO SPEAK

Looking for a speaker on women's cooperation, communication, and conflict? Send your inquiry to info@tellpublicrelations.com.