195: How To Get Them To Choose Me?

If you've ever lost interest the moment someone became available, or stayed obsessed with someone who kept you at arm's length, this episode is for you. Part three of the Hard Truth Series breaks down the most common pattern nobody wants to admit: using relationships to collect proof of your worth instead of building real partnership.

Backed by research on rejection sensitivity and anxious attachment, Sabrina unpacks why chasing external validation creates a cycle no amount of love can fix, how to tell if you are dating for connection or reassurance, and what it actually takes to stop performing and start showing up.

If you’re ready to slow down, trust your instincts, and break your old dating patterns, the Healthy Relationship Foundations Course walks you through it step-by-step HERE!

If you’re serious about changing your dating patterns instead of repeating them, the Art of Going Slow course helps you unlearn urgency, regulate your nervous system, and build real connection without rushing, chasing, or abandoning yourself HERE!

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Chapters:

00:00 Dating for Validation vs Partnership

03:17 Why You're Not Ready for Real Love

07:00 Proof Seeking vs Building Partnership

10:37 Rejection and Self-Worth

15:00 Core Beliefs and the Validation Trap

19:00 Why External Validation Never Fills the Void

23:35 The Research Behind Approval Seeking

26:28 What Validation Dating Actually Costs You

29:21 Are You Performing or Showing Up

32:10 The Validation Check Tool of the Week

Disclaimer: The Sabrina Zohar Show, formerly known as Do The Work, is not affiliated with A.Z & associates LLC in any capacity. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices