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All In The Mind is ABC RN's weekly podcast looking into the mental universe, the mind, brain and behaviour — everything from addiction to artificial intelligence.

All In The Mind

Many of us have felt self loathing at some point in our lives — maybe when you've failed at an important task at work, or lost an important relationship.

But some people hate themselves all the time — their inner monologue is a constant drumbeat of self-criticism and self-loathing. 

Where does this kind of all-encompassing self-hate come from? And is there a way to unlearn it?

We speak to psychiatrist Dr Blaise Aguirre, author of I Hate Myself: Overcome Self-Loathing and Realize Why You're Wrong About You. 

This episode discusses the topic of suicide - please take care while listening.

This episode first aired in February 2025.

Guest:

Dr Blaise AguirreChild and adolescent psychiatristAssistant Professor of Psychiatry, Harvard Medical SchoolAuthor, I Hate Myself: Overcome Self-Loathing and Realize Why You're Wrong About You

Credits:

 • Presenter/producer: Sana Qadar
 • Senior producer: James Bullen
 • Producer: Rose Kerr
 • Sound engineer: Isabella Tropiano

Thanks to Freesound.org users 7by7, qubodup, laft2k, andre.nascimento

To find the transcript for this episode, head to it's original webpage.

Resources:

Lifeline Australia1800RESPECT
You can catch up on more episodes of the All in the Mind podcast with journalist and presenter Sana Qadar, exploring the psychology of topics like stress, memory, communication and relationships on the ABC Listen app (Australia) or wherever you get your podcasts.

Healing from self-hatred

Be honest, how many times have you checked your notifications in the last hour? Or opened a new, totally unrelated tab? Or stopped what you're doing even though you really need to do it?

Distractions are everywhere. And whether they're self-imposed or coming from our environment, it can be hard to focus.

Today, we explore the ramifications of our rapidly shrinking attention spans, debunk some myths about focus, and discuss the art of taking a break.

You can catch up on more episodes of the All in the Mind podcast with journalist and presenter Sana Qadar, exploring the psychology of topics like stress, memory, communication and relationships on the ABC Listen app (Australia) or wherever you get your podcasts.

This episode first aired in March 2025.

Guests:

Dr Emma Fitzgerald Clinical Neuropsychologist

SebEmma's son and distracted teenager

Gloria Mark, PhDChancellor's Professor Emerita, University of California, IrvineAuthor, Attention Span

Credits:

 • Presenter/producer: Sana Qadar
 • Senior producer: James Bullen
 • Producer: Rose Kerr
 • Sound engineer: Bella Tropiano

To find the transcript for this episode, head to its original webpage.

Extra info:

Gloria's The Future of Attention substack

Smartphones in the nursery: Parental smartphone use and parental sensitivity and responsiveness within parent–child interaction in early childhood (0–5 years): A scoping review

Ditching your smartphone won't stop you being distracted, study finds

The fight for focus in a world of distraction

Have you ever experienced "the ick"?

It's that sudden, visceral feeling of being put off by someone you're dating. Maybe it's their hat, a hobby or even the way they laugh.

Stories of the ick are prolific online, but it leaves us with a question - what causes it? 

To separate red flags from disgust, we get into the psychology of the ick - why you might feel icky, if it should be a deal breaker, and what it says about your own attachment style.

You can catch up on more episodes of the All in the Mind podcast with journalist and presenter Sana Qadar, exploring the psychology of topics like stress, memory, communication and relationships on the ABC Listen app (Australia) or wherever you get your podcasts.

This episode first aired in March 2025.

Guests:

MichaelaSingle and ick-prone

Adam HorvathClinical Psychologist at Personal Psychology

Professor Gery Karantzas, PhDCouples therapistDirector, Science of Adult Relationships laboratoryDeakin University

Credits:

 • Presenter/producer: Sana Qadar
 • Senior producer: James Bullen
 • Producer: Rose Kerr
 • Sound engineers: Tegan Nicholls and Michael Grossman

You can find the transcript for this episode on its original webpage here.

More information:

The ick: Disgust sensitivity, narcissism, and perfectionism in mate choice thresholds

Got the ick? Dating, disgust and evolutionary psychology

Developmental paediatrician Dr Billy Garvey has seen a lot of kids with behavioural issue over the years, and there are ten things he wishes all parents understood about their kids mental health.

From insecure attachment to separation anxiety to emotional difficulties – he gives us the low down on why kids get labelled ‘bad’ – and what’s really going on (usually).

You can catch up on more episodes of the All in the Mind podcast with journalist and presenter Sana Qadar, exploring the psychology of topics like stress, memory, communication and relationships on the ABC Listen app (Australia) or wherever you get your podcasts.

This episode first aired in February 2025.

Guest:

Dr Billy GarveyDevelopmental paediatricianAuthor, Ten things I wish you knew about your child's mental healthPodcast co-host, Pop Culture ParentingFounder, Guiding Growing Minds

Credits:

 • Presenter/producer: Sana Qadar
 • Senior producer: James Bullen
 • Producer: Rose Kerr
 • Sound engineer: John Jacobs

What to know about kids mental health

Difficult people are everywhere. Maybe you're one of them, or maybe you're about to sit through an awkward holiday situation with someone you REALLY don't know how to handle.

This week, clinical psychologist Rachel Samson returns to answer all your questions on challenging people from the All in the Mind mailbox.

How do I deal with my coworker who's crossing boundaries? Should I try and make peace with my problematic family member?

We'll answer these questions and more — from how to avoid becoming a difficult person yourself, to the power of radical acceptance.

Thank you for listening to All in the Mind this year! If you have an episode idea for next year or want to send some feedback, you can email us at mind_rn@abc.net.au

Guest:

Rachel SamsonClinical psychologistCo-author, Beyond DifficultDirector of the Australian Association of Psychologists

Rachael Samson also appeared on our episode in November called Narcissist, or just a pain? How to deal with difficult people.

Credits:

 • Presenter/producer: Sana Qadar
 • Senior producer: James Bullen
 • Producer: Rose Kerr
 • Sound engineer: Bethany Stewart

You can catch up on more episodes of the All in the Mind podcast with journalist and presenter Sana Qadar, exploring the psychology of topics like stress, memory, communication and relationships on the ABC Listen app (Australia) or wherever you get your podcasts.

Difficult people and radical acceptance: answering your questions about tricky relationships

From the prohibition era in the US, to gun control in Australia, bans have been used throughout history to change behaviour. 

Sometimes they work, sometimes they don't. Sometimes, they lead to a whole lot of unintended consequences.

With the social media ban for under-16’s taking effect this week, we uncover the three factors that can determine whether a ban is more likely to succeed or fail – and find out what the history of bans tells us about how effective this policy might be (or not).

Plus – how solid is the research on the link between mental ill health and social media use?

You can catch up on more episodes of the All in the Mind podcast with journalist and presenter Sana Qadar, exploring the psychology of topics like stress, memory, communication and relationships on the ABC Listen app (Australia) or wherever you get your podcasts.

Guests:

Dr Alexis WhittonAssociate Professor and psychologistThe Black Dog Institute and University of New South WalesDr Kate Harrison BrennanProfessor of Practice and Academic Director of the Sydney Policy LabHonorary Associate at the Sydney Law SchoolUniversity of SydneySeb, Eva, Ciara, Lily

With additional thanks to Associate Professor Susanne Schweizer, from the University of New South Wales.

Credits:

 • Presenter/producer: Sana Qadar
 • Senior producer: James Bullen
 • Producer: Rose Kerr
 • Sound engineer: Micky Grossman

A big thank you to everyone who sent us emails and voice memos with their thoughts on the social media ban. We couldn't include everyone but we appreciate getting to hear your perspectives.

Thanks to freesound.org users TRP and davidbain

More information:

Support for under-16 social media ban soars to 77% among Australians

Illegal tobacco is a deadly $10 billion industry wiping out legitimate businesses

Smoking rates continue to decline while vaping triples, national household drug survey shows

Psychological reactance to system-level policies before and after their implementation

The presence of laws and mandates is associated with increased social norm enforcement

Youth mental health enters 'dangerous phase'

Social psychologist and author of best-selling book The Anxious Generation Jonathan Haidt talks to News Breakfast about Australia's world-first under 16 social media ban — ABC Lifestyle

eSafety appoints Stanford University-led academic advisory group to assess the impacts of the Social Media Minimum Age obligationDigital mental health, Black Dog Institute

From prohibition to social media - what makes bans succeed ... or fail?

When bad things happen, do you berate yourself or treat yourself with compassion? Do you journal, meditate, or listen to music?

Growing up, Sabrina McKenzie always turned to music to help her through her worst moments.

As she got older and began studying psychology, she realised what she felt when she listened to sad or angry songs ... was self-compassion.

In the field of positive psychology there’s plenty of research on how journalling and meditation can cultivate self-compassion (and plenty of research suggesting self-compassionate people are more mentally and physically healthy).

But Sabrina was shocked to learn there was no research on whether music could cultivate self-compassion. She decided to change that.

Today: the songs that saved Sabrina, and the novel research looking for a link between music and self-compassion. 

This episode touches on the topic of sexual abuse, please take care while listening.

Guest:

Sabrina McKenzieAssociate Lecturer in musicPhD candidate in music psychologyUniversity of Melbourne, Melbourne Conservatorium of Music

Credits:

 • Presenter/producer: Sana Qadar
 • Senior producer: James Bullen
 • Producer: Rose Kerr
 • Sound engineer: Roi Huberman

You can catch up on more episodes of the All in the Mind podcast with journalist and presenter Sana Qadar, exploring the psychology of topics like stress, memory, communication and relationships on the ABC Listen app (Australia) or wherever you get your podcasts.

Music to listen to:

Why Trust You - Alice Cooper

Now I Can Dance - Tina Arena

This Is Me (Official Audio) — The Greatest Showman Cast

"Saying Goodbye" — Ondara

More information:

Self-compassion as a predictor of interleukin-6 response to acute psychosocial stress

A Systematic Review on Mediation Studies of Self-Compassion and Physical Health Outcomes in Non-Clinical Adult Populations

Exploring the role of music listening in cultivating self-compassion

Support:

Lifeline 13 11 14

The music that saves us

We've come a long way in how we talk about mental health.

But while diagnoses like depression and anxiety can empower people to seek help and support — they also influence how we see ourselves and how others might see us, too.

Today, we investigate 'concept creep.' It's the idea that the labels we use to describe mental health are expanding and being applied to an ever-wider array of human behaviours.

We look at what's causing this, the impacts it might have (both positive and negative), and what it means for how we understand mental health conditions.

This episode first aired in November 2024.

Guest:

Professor Nick HaslamProfessor of Psychology, University of Melbourne

Credits:

 • Presenter/producer: Sana Qadar
 • Producer: Rose Kerr
 • Senior producer: James Bullen
 • Sound engineer: Simon Branthwaite

You can catch up on more episodes of the All in the Mind podcast with journalist and presenter Sana Qadar, exploring the psychology of topics like stress, memory, communication and relationships on the ABC Listen app (Australia) or wherever you get your podcasts.

More information:

Concept creep: Psychology's expanding concepts of harm and pathology

If everything is traumatic, is anything traumatic? The power of labels

You've probably experienced intrusive thoughts — bizarre, fleeting, sometimes inappropriate thoughts that cross your mind without warning. Although these can be weird to experience, they're totally normal.

But for people with obsessive compulsive disorder these thoughts can become inescapable — leading to worry, compulsions and shame.

Today we're talking about OCD, because it's often quite different from the stereotype of handwashing and lining up pencils. It can venture into taboo and dangerous thoughts, from paedophilia to violent harm. 

So what does living with these unwanted thoughts feel like? And how much can treatment improve OCD symptoms?

This episode covers some heavy topics from sexual abuse to suicide. There are also a few swear words. Please take care while listening.

Guests:

Uma Chatterjee, M.S., MHPSNeuroscience PhD student, University of Wisconsin-MadisonScience communicatorMental health advocate

Martin IngleWriter and filmmaker

Professor Vlasios BrakouliasPsychiatristSydney Medical School, Westmead Hospital

Credits:

 • Presenter/producer: Sana Qadar
 • Producer: Rose Kerr
 • Senior Producer: James Bullen
 • Sound engineer: Timothy Jenkins

You can catch up on more episodes of the All in the Mind podcast with journalist and presenter Sana Qadar, exploring the psychology of topics like stress, memory, communication and relationships on the ABC Listen app (Australia) or wherever you get your podcasts.

Support:

Lifeline 13 11 14

SANE Australia

ARCVic Helpline 1300 269 438

More information:

You Can't Ask That - OCD episode

‘What if I’m a paedophile?’ The intrusive thoughts that haunted Uma

According to consumer psychology, there's a recipe for being cool. And surprisingly, the ingredients are similar across a bunch of countries and cultures.

So today, we explore the concept of cool: what it says about our values and how it influences us. But be warned — if you try too hard to be cool, it might unravel your attempt before you even get there.

You can catch up on more episodes of the All in the Mind podcast with journalist and presenter Sana Qadar, exploring the psychology of topics like stress, memory, communication and relationships on the ABC Listen app (Australia) or wherever you get your podcasts.

Guest:

Caleb WarrenConsumer psychologistProfessor of MarketingUniversity of Arizona

Credits:

 • Presenter/producer: Sana Qadar
 • Senior producer: James Bullen
 • Producer: Rose Kerr
 • Sound engineer: Simon Branthwaite

More info:

Trying too hard or not hard enough: How effort shapes status

What Makes Things Cool? How Autonomy Influences Perceived Coolness

Cool People

Consumer behaviour and the quest for cool

Whether it's shaking hands or which side of the road to drive on, social norms dominate the way we behave.

But when norms change suddenly, you get chaos.

Just ask Sweden.

If you'd like to hear more from today's expert, Matt featured in an episode in 2021 called Neuromarketing — how brands target your brain. Check it out!

The unspoken rules that govern our behaviour

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