Revisited: Choose Your Seven Humans Wisely with Author Fredrik BackmanHello from Team Simon! We're taking a quick break this week and will be back with brand-new episodes of A Bit of Optimism next Tuesday.
Until then, we're revisiting one of our favorite episodes — when bestselling novelist Fredrik Backman joined the show to talk about the thing he's spent his whole career writing about: the quiet, radical power of showing up for people.
And Fredrik says great friendships aren't found by luck. They're built deliberately, repeatedly, and, sometimes, inconveniently by people who choose to do the work.
Fredrik is the internationally bestselling author of A Man Called Ove (adapted into the film A Man Called Otto), Anxious People, and the Beartown series. His book, My Friends, is a love letter to the relationships that quietly shape who we become.
In this conversation, Fredrik opens up about his best friend of over 30 years and what 30 years of real friendship actually requires. His words will have you thinking hard about the friends you might be taking for granted.
In this episode you'll learn:
➡️ Why great friendship is a skill + what the work actually looks like
➡️ The concept of your "people” vs. “humans"
➡️ Why your friends are your best editors
➡️ The friendship rule that changed how Fredrik's entire friend group thought about relationships
➡️ The unexpected value of quantity of time vs. quality of time
➡️ How to be genuinely happy for someone else
➡️ The difference between healthy self-deprecation and low self-esteem
➡️ Why the work in a relationship is never solely on the relationship — it's always on you
A great relationship isn't a stroke of luck. It's a choice you make every day, in small ways, often when it's inconvenient. This conversation is a reminder of why it's worth it.
This… is A Bit of Optimism.
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To buy Fredrik’s book, My Friends, visit: https://www.simonandschuster.com/authors/Fredrik-Backman/411545926
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Chapters
Chapters
00:00:00 We Don't Need Algorithms to Find Our People
00:02:45 Fredrik's Viral Speech: Fueled by Pure Panic
00:05:55 The Power of Authenticity: Why Imperfection Resonates
00:07:29 Choose Your Seven Humans Wisely
00:08:56 The Friend Who Taught Him Everything
00:15:43 Quality Time vs Quantity Time: The ROI of Presence
00:17:53 The "I Want To," Not "I Have To" Philosophy
00:20:55 Your Friends Are Your Best Editors
00:13:23 Writing as Self-Editing
00:15:06 Learning to Be Happy for Others
00:22:41 The Gift of Time: Showing Up When It Matters
00:23:56 Be A Great Friend, Get Great Friends
00:28:55 The Work Is On You: Relationships and Self-Growth
00:36:23 Algorithms Would Never Match Us: The Value of Difference
00:34:21 Trying Is Everything
00:35:55 People vs Humans
00:37:18 Self-Deprecation vs Low Self-Esteem
00:39:22 The Jantelagen: Swedish Humility Law
00:45:26 The Fear of Disappointing People
00:48:00 Expectations vs Reality: Letting Go of Fantasy
00:49:00 Understanding Bullies: Finding What We Have in Common
00:51:21 Fighting Narcissism: Surrounding Yourself With Better People
00:52:08 Being Comfortable Not Knowing: The Gateway to Learning
00:55:28 The World's Best Cardamom Bun Debate
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Simon is an unshakable optimist. He believes in a bright future and our ability to build it together.
Described as “a visionary thinker with a rare intellect,” Simon has devoted his professional life to help advance a vision of the world that does not yet exist; a world in which the vast majority of people wake up every single morning inspired, feel safe wherever they are and end the day fulfilled by the work that they do.
Simon is the author of multiple best-selling books including Start With Why, Leaders Eat Last, Together is Better, and The Infinite Game.
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Website: http://simonsinek.com/
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