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YMH Studios

Weekly, comedian best friends Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer get together in the bear cave at YMH Studios to do what bears do: make each other laugh.

2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

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The OG Bears are back on this absolutely unhinged episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave! Bert Kreischer and Tom Segura dive headfirst into VR porn disasters, accidental virtual orgies, and the terrifying realization that Oculus might actually be ending humanity.
Bert recounts a weekend alone that spirals into nine virtual orgies, soul-stealing eye contact, and panic-induced controller fumbling in a pitch-black room. The Bears also unpack loneliness, online hate comments, incel psychology, and how social media gives angry dudes a place to scream just to feel noticed.
From there, things somehow get deeper: wealth guilt, excess consumption, purging hundreds of shoes and jackets, Mounjaro weight loss, beating Jelly Roll in the next 2 Bears 5K, parenting chaos, friendship evolution, Jake Paul as a “god,” and why success is always part luck. Enjoy the Bears while they're here.

https://www.instagram.com/stavvybaby2
https://www.instagram.com/chrisdcomedy/

2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 323

https://tomsegura.com/tour
https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour
https://store.ymhstudios.com

Gambling Problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER. New York: call 8778- HOPENY or text HOPENY. Connecticut: call 888-789-7777 or visit https://CCPG.org. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino in Kansas. Wager tax pass-through may apply in Illinois. Twenty one plus in most states. Void in Ontario. Restrictions apply. Bet must win to receive Bonus Bets which expire in 7 days. Minimum odds required. For additional terms and responsible gaming resources, see https://DKNG.co/audio Limited time offer.

Chapters 
00:00:00 - Intro
00:00:14 - Bert's First Threesome
00:05:58 - Mean Comments
00:13:05 - Hanging With The Kids During Christmas
00:30:02 - Stroke Of Luck
00:34:11 - Excess & Purging Stuff
00:44:05 - Weight Loss, Mounjaro & Jelly Roll
00:55:15 - Jake Paul Is A God?
01:01:01 - Wrap Up

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The End Of Humanity | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

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It’s the final Winter Bears of the season, and Stavros & Chris are ringing in the New Year the only way they know how: complaining about first class, overeating pastries, and making terrible life decisions! As 2025 wraps, the boys reflect on blown resolutions, chaotic travel plans, New Jersey “vacations,” and Chris’ catastrophic decision to roast the entire Jersey Shore cast. Plus: Delta lounge politics, childhood SNL trauma, double-the-bread-double-the-head, and Stav helping Chris talk through the worst career choice he’s ever made.
Grab a croissant, buckle up, and celebrate the end of the Winter Bears era as we begin a new year!

https://www.instagram.com/stavvybaby2
https://www.instagram.com/chrisdcomedy/

2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 321

https://tomsegura.com/tour
https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour
https://www.chrisdcomedy.com/
https://www.stavvy.biz/
https://store.ymhstudios.com

Gambling problem? Call one eight hundred Gambler. In New York, call 8778-HOPENY or text HOPENY (467369). In Connecticut, Help is available for problem gambling. Call 888-789-7777 or visit https://ccpg.org. Please play responsibly. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino & Resort (Kansas). Pass-thru of per wager tax may apply in Illinois. Twenty-one plus age and eligibility varies by jurisdiction. Void in Ontario. Restrictions apply. Bet must win to receive Bonus Bets which expire in 7 days. Minimum odds required. For additional terms and responsible gaming resources, see https://DKNG.co/audio. Limited time offer.

Chapters 
00:00:00 - Intro
00:01:09 - First Class Complaints & Latent Homo Things
00:09:00 - New Years Resolutions
00:18:27 - Roasting The Jersey Shore Cast
00:28:45 - Workshopping Roast Jokes
00:39:43 - This Is Probably A Dumb Idea
00:45:02 - The Jersey Shore Photo Roast Session
00:51:31 - New Years Plans & NFL Roasts
00:55:00 - More "Fan" Questions
01:03:37 - Final Thoughts

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New Year New Roast | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

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- New Year, New Me! Get Huel for FIFTEEN PERCENT OFF with this exclusive offer for New Customers only with code BEARS at https://huel.com/bears (Minimum $75 purchase).

The Winter Bears Stavros Halkias and Chris Distefano return for another completely unhinged takeover of 2 Bears 1 Cave. With Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer nowhere to be found, the guys openly admit they once again didn’t prepare, and then immediately spiral into bread rankings, prostate exams, STD horror stories, religion, celebrity gossip, and the most deranged podcast business ideas ever pitched.
From focaccia-based trauma, to almost doing business with Jeffrey Epstein’s brother, this episode goes fully off the rails and never checks the map again.
Hit subscribe, brace yourself, and remember: this episode exists only because someone might need it someday.

https://www.instagram.com/stavvybaby2
https://www.instagram.com/chrisdcomedy/

2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 321

https://tomsegura.com/tour
https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour
https://www.chrisdcomedy.com/
https://www.stavvy.biz/
https://store.ymhstudios.com

Chapters 
00:00:00 - Intro
00:01:38 - Fat Boy Pastry Shop
00:07:42 - Just The Tip
00:11:53 - Sexually Transmitted Hilarity
00:25:13 - Family
00:31:15 - Third World Fun & Legendary Funbags
00:35:13 - Pimping Podcast Producers
00:43:42 - Doing Business With An Epstein
00:54:16 - Health Corner
01:01:52 - In Conclusion

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Pimping Podcast Producers | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

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- If you’re 21 or older, get 25% OFF your first order + free shipping @IndaCloud with code BEARS at https://inda.shop/BEARS! #indacloudpod 
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- Order a bottle of Por Osos and some killer merch online https://drinkporosos.com

Merry Winter Bears-mas! Stavros Halkias and Chris Distefano take over 2 Bears 1 Cave while Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer are away, and immediately turn it into a holiday fever dream. The Winter Bears dive into chaotic Christmas traditions, Jewish Christmas supremacy, family trauma, weight-loss delusion, wild childhood memories, and the politics of gift-giving. Along the way, they spiral into ancestry revelations, Oldboy-level revenge fantasies, questionable parenting strategies, croissant mukbangs, and an all-time debate over the perfect Christmas Chinese food order. Grab a pastry and strap in — this might be the most unhinged holiday episode in 2 Bears history.

https://www.instagram.com/stavvybaby2
https://www.instagram.com/chrisdcomedy/

2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 320

https://tomsegura.com/tour
https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour
https://www.chrisdcomedy.com/
https://www.stavvy.biz/
https://store.ymhstudios.com

Chapters 
00:00:00 - Intro
00:00:57 - Revenge & Christmas Plans
00:06:57 - The Germans Always Make Good Stuff
00:16:33 - Perfect Holiday Dinner Conversations
00:23:38 - Are Greeks Whites?
00:30:40 - Let's Eat Some Tommy Bunz
00:33:35 - Christmas Gifts
00:44:09 - Greek Thieves, Bribing Kids, & Daddy Stavvy
00:52:17 - Favorite Chinese Food Order
00:59:00 - Living The NYC Dream
01:02:28 - Answering Some "Fan" Questions

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Chris & Stavvy Save Christmas! | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

SPONSORS:
- Don’t miss out on all the action this week at DraftKings! Download the DraftKings app today! Sign-up using https://dkng.co/bears or through my promo code BEARS
- Protect your family with life insurance from Ethos. Get your free quote at https://Ethos.com/BEARS
- Head to https://DRINKAG1.com/BEARS you’ll get the welcome kit, a Morning Person hat, a bottle of Vitamin D3+K2, a AG1 Flavor Sampler and you’ll get to try their new sleep supplement AGZ for free.
- Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at https://shopify.com/bears.

Christmas CAME early! The Summer Bears are now the *Winter Bears* and they have returned to phone it in and fulfill some contractually obligated laughs. Chris Distefano and Stavros Halkias invade YMH Studios to talk awful breakfast decisions, Bert’s cruise from hell, fat-guy medicine science, Husky-induced life chaos, bombing on MTV, fighting GLP-1 drugs, Mike Tyson saving Big Pun at The Tunnel, and why both of them should never own pets, houses, or functioning digestive systems.
It’s chaotic, barely prepared, medically concerning, and absolutely perfect. Enjoy!

https://www.instagram.com/stavvybaby2
https://www.instagram.com/chrisdcomedy/

2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 319

https://tomsegura.com/tour
https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour
https://www.chrisdcomedy.com/
https://www.stavvy.biz/
https://store.ymhstudios.com

Gambling problem? Call one eight hundred Gambler. In New York, call 8778-HOPENY or text HOPENY (467369). In Connecticut, Help is available for problem gambling. Call 888-789-7777 or visit https://ccpg.org. Please play responsibly. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino & Resort (Kansas). Pass-thru of per wager tax may apply in Illinois. Twenty-one plus age and eligibility varies by jurisdiction. Void in Ontario. Restrictions apply. Bet must win to receive Bonus Bets which expire in 7 days. Minimum odds required. For additional terms and responsible gaming resources, see https://DKNG.co/audio. Limited time offer.

Chapters 
00:00:00 - Intro
00:03:29 - Slutty Little Breakfast
00:07:14 - Podcast Polyamory
00:14:15 - Chrissy Housing Crisis
00:21:35 - Stavros Vs Fat Guy Medicine
00:31:48 - Fat Joe, Guy Code, & Graveyard Of Failed Shows
00:46:14 - Maybe The Worst Dog Ever
00:56:17 - Geopolitical Shenanigans & NYC Mayors
01:08:11 - Wrap Up

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The Summer Bears Came For The Winter | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

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- Anyway, if you want to try Rho Nutrition’s NAD+, the Glutathione, whatever, they’re giving 20% off with the code BEARS at https://rhonutrition.com/discount/BEARS 

This week, Bert’s wasting away, Tom’s tucking in his shirts, and the Bears are going into hibernation for the winter. Before that good news, Bert breaks down losing 25 lbs in a month, projectile-vomiting in airport bathrooms, and Tom producing Olympic-level protein farts. Tom also talks his new pastry empire and defends his son’s obsession with suits and hair product; along the way they dive into Bert’s DEXA scan nightmare, and some chaotic CMA stories including a Steve Martin panic-meeting and Billy Bob Thornton being a king. They also discuss robe culture, aging out of podcasting, comedian fashion, the future of 2 Bears with guest hosts, tours and the 2 Bears 5K, plus they announce the return of the Summer Bears next week. Enjoy!

2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 318

https://tomsegura.com/tour
https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour
https://store.ymhstudios.com

Chapters 
00:00:00 - Intro
00:01:02 - OzemBert & Gassy Tim
00:09:17 - Fat Boy Dreams
00:19:35 - Dressing Like An Adult Is Hard
00:28:44 - Country Music Awards Chaos
00:39:57 - Robe Guys & Big Joe Pesci Energy
00:46:22 - Crisis Of Appearance
00:52:03 - Quentin Tarantino
00:55:46 - The Winter Bears, 2025 Look Back, & 2 Bears 5k
01:06:14 - Wrap Up

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My Soul Will Always Be Fat | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

SPONSORS:
- Go to https://HelloFresh.com/bears10fm now to Get 10 Free Meals + a Free breakfast for Life!
- Make life easier by getting harder and discover your options at https://bluechew.com 

This week, Bert Kreischer sits down with musician Marcus King for a wild, emotional ride—naked ocean stories with Navy SEALs, cocaine confessions, microdosing mushrooms, Southern rock rankings, and why internet comments haunt grown men at 3AM. Plus: TikTok ruining music, therapy drunk, and Bert accidentally following people who hate him. Check it out!

2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 317

https://tomsegura.com/tour
https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour
https://store.ymhstudios.com

Chapters 
00:00:00 - Intro
00:01:30 - Southern Rock & Creating Your Own Lane
00:07:01 - Marcus' Process, New Album, & Otis Redding
00:14:55 - Cigars With James Earl Jones
00:17:47 - Sobriety, Microdosing, & Losing the Sparkle
00:29:52 - Loving Yourself While The Internet Hates You
00:42:43 - Ranking Southern Rock Bands
00:49:44 - TikTok Ruining Music & Comedy
00:54:55 - It's Raining Tom
00:57:00 - Authentic Relationships
01:02:23 - The Most Realest Artists Out There
01:13:49 - Back To Top Southern Rock Bands
01:20:31 - Eulogies & Final Thoughts

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The Dark Side of Internet Fame w/ Marcus King | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

SPONSORS:
- Protect your family with life insurance from Ethos. Get your free quote at https://ethos.com/bears
- Eat smart at https://FactorMeals.com/bears50off and use code bears50off to get 50% off your first box, plus Free Breakfast for 1 Year.
- Don’t miss out on all the action this week at DraftKings! Download the DraftKings app today! Sign-up using https://dkng.co/bears or through my promo code BEARS.
- Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at https://shopify.com/bears.
‌
In this powerful and surprisingly emotional episode of 2 Bears 1 Cave, Tom Segura sits down with Louis C.K. to discuss his new novel Ingram, the creative process behind writing fiction, and the brutal emotional reality of loneliness and childhood struggle. Louis explains why he quit stand-up for over a year, how stepping away from the stage changed his life, and what ultimately pulled him back into comedy.

The conversation dives deep into fear, pain, trauma, comedy philosophy, empathy, war stories, emotional burnout, and why the darkest moments in life can shape the most powerful art. Tom reveals that reading Ingram made him cry, and Louis talks about the deeply disturbing next book he’s finishing—including a scene that shocked even him while writing it.

They also explore the controversial idea of “punching down” in comedy, the ethics of humor, and why Louis believes the funniest material comes from the messy truth of being human.

2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 316

https://tomsegura.com/tour
https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour
https://store.ymhstudios.com

Gambling problem? Call one eight hundred Gambler. In New York, call 8778-HOPENY or text HOPENY (467369). In Connecticut, Help is available for problem gambling. Call eight eight eight seven eight nine seven seven seven seven or visit https://ccpg.org. Please play responsibly. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino & Resort (Kansas). Pass-thru of per wager tax may apply in Illinois. Twenty-one plus age and eligibility varies by jurisdiction. Void in Ontario. Restrictions apply. Bet must win to receive Bonus Bets which expire in 7 days. Minimum odds required. For additional terms and responsible gaming resources, see https://dkng.co/audio. Limited time offer.

Chapters 
00:00:00 - Intro
00:01:00 - Becoming A Novelist, Eastern Europe, & Russian Literature
00:05:12 - Quitting Stand Up & Daily Rituals
00:08:47 - Writing Ingram & Why Tom Teared Up
00:19:38 - Loneliness, Street Kids, & the Human Threshold for Empathy
00:34:27 - Trauma, War & Emotional Damage
00:39:17 - Coming Back to Stand-Up & Rebuilding Material
00:46:22 - Upsetting Audiences, Articulating Thoughts, & Punching Down
00:59:59 - Touring Burnout & The Future of Live Comedy
01:06:42 - Final Thoughts & Tom Praises Ingram
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Louis C.K. on Writing His First Novel and Returning to Stage | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

SPONSORS:
- Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at https://shopify.com/bears
- If you’re 21 or older, get 40% OFF your first order + free shipping @‌IndaCloud with code BEARS at https://inda.shop/BEARS ! #indacloudpod
- Head to https://DRINKAG1.com/BEARS to get a FREE Welcome Kit with an AG1 Flavor Sampler and a bottle of Vitamin D3 plus K2, when you first subscribe!
- Our listeners get 10% off their first month at https://betterhelp.com/bears
‌
Tom Segura returns to the cave with the one-and-only Kirk Fox, comedian, actor, and possibly a future Supermax inmate, depending on how you interpret this episode. The two dive into Kirk’s accidental tennis-career-turned-acting path, his eccentric family upbringing (outdoor showers, blood-written memorials, and a grandma in a box), and his lifelong dream of becoming either an FBI profiler or a serial killer — whichever opportunity arrives first.

From Waymo self-driving cars acting like drunk Uber drivers to territorial pissings, choke etiquette, BTK, Tommy Lynn Sells, Vince Champ the stand-up sex criminal, and a full breakdown of Supermax prison life, this episode spirals into a darkly hilarious masterclass on murder, consent, and why prison might actually be relaxing if you need more sleep.

If the FBI is listening — it’s all jokes. Probably.

2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 315

https://tomsegura.com/tour
https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour
https://store.ymhstudios.com

Chapters 
00:00:00 - Intro
00:01:34 - Tennis Legend Kirk Fox
00:08:40 - Charo Looks Like Bon Jovi
00:11:20 - Kirk’s Home Life
00:17:53 - Golden Showers
00:24:46 - More Killers & AI Sex Robots
00:33:42 - Tommy Lynn Sells & Killing by Train
00:37:43 - The Next Killer in Our Friend Group
00:40:49 - Supermax Prison Fantasy
00:46:29 - My Dad Was A Serial Killer
00:52:38 - Vince Champ: The Sex Crime Comedian
00:58:21 - Kirk’s FBI Dreams & Shamelessness
01:02:22 - Kirk & Tom Check Out Vince Champ's Comedy
01:06:07 - See You In Prison
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My Dad Was Probably A Murderer w/ Kirk Fox | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

Tom will be filming his new stand-up special in Milwaukee at The Riverside Theater on November 14th & 15th! Tickets are still available in Milwaukee for the November 14th show. Go get your tickets now at https://tomsegura.com/tour .

SPONSORS:
-Take advantage of Ridge’s Biggest Sale of the Year and GET UP TO 47% Off by going to https://www.Ridge.com/CAVE #Ridgepod
-Get $10 Off @‌BRUNT with code CAVE at https://www.bruntworkwear.com/CAVE #BRUNTpod
-Give the gift of smooth this holiday season with the Performance Package 5.0 Ultra. Get 15% off + free shipping at https://Manscaped.com with code BEARS.
-Order a bottle of Por Osos and some killer merch online https://drinkporosos.com

This week, Bert sits down with the one and only Mel Robbins for a brutally honest, hilarious, and surprisingly deep conversation about anxiety, cheating, parenting, and learning how to “let them.” From wild college confessions to Mel breaking down her Let Them Theory in real time, this episode is half therapy, half comedy, and all chaos.
They cover everything — why Bert can’t stop overexplaining to strangers (and accidentally tried to kiss Nicole Kidman), how ADHD and anxiety shaped both of their lives, and why it’s so hard to stop caring what everyone thinks. Mel opens up about her own journey through debt, dysfunction, and discovery — and Bert realizes maybe, just maybe, he doesn’t have to fix everyone to be happy.
If you’ve ever felt like you’re juggling guilt, stress, and trying to please everyone — this episode will hit home and crack you up at the same time.

2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 314

https://tomsegura.com/tour
https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour
https://store.ymhstudios.com

Chapters 
00:00:00 - Intro
00:00:46 - What's Your Drink?
00:03:50 - College Chaos & Cheating Confessions
00:13:47 - Nobody Wants To F**k Up Their Life
00:23:12 - FOMO, Stoicism, & The Let Them Theory
00:34:42 - Why We Need to Disappoint People
00:47:55 - Family Guilt & The Dinner Dilemma
00:55:08 - An Awkward Nicole Kidman Kiss & Approval Addiction
01:01:39 - ADHD, Dyslexia, & The Volcano Inside
01:10:44 - What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
01:20:01 - Bert Gets Real
01:31:05 - Wired To Change
01:36:25 - Opportunity Of A Lifetime
01:45:51 - Let Them (And Let Yourself)
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Mel Robbins Calls Out Bert’s People-Pleasing | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

SPONSORS: - Head to https://PolicyGenius.com/CAVE to get started right now. Policygenius. When it comes to insurance, it’s nice to get it right. - Go to https://saatva.com/theshit for $200 off your order - Visit https://mudwtr.com/bears to support the show and use BEARS at check out for $5 off - Go to https://birddogs.com enter promo code “BEARS” and they’ll throw in a free Birddogs Whistle Tip Football. - Go check out https://AdamAndEve.com today, select one item and get 50% off including FREE shipping when you enter offer code BEARS.
Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer are back in the G-Bay studios out of Austin! They talk about the new James Bond movie "Tomorrow Never Dies," and how Bert's biggest problem with movies is wanting to do his own stunts. Bert also reveals his love for Jessica Chastain for the national treasure she is. They go over small baller moves and ask for some fan submissions. Bert then reveals he JUST found out he has long balls. How long? Absurdly long. The bears discuss how they met their wives, and then describe the hardcore love scenes they want to shoot in the movie they're filming together.
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Ep. 103 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

Lyt når som helst, hvor som helst

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