The Science of Revenge: Understanding and Overcoming Grievances to Raise More Forgiving Kids

In this episode, I’m joined by James Kimmel Jr. JD, a lecturer in psychiatry at the Yale School of Medicine and author of The Science of Revenge, to explore what the latest neuroscience tells us about revenge, grievance, and retaliation. We discuss how the brain’s reward system becomes activated in response to perceived harm—often fueling cycles of conflict that begin in childhood. Together, we examine how understanding these mechanisms can help us teach our children to reframe grievances, regulate emotional responses, and move toward forgiveness, both in everyday sibling conflicts and larger social dynamics.

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