In this week’s episode, Joel Osteen has a monstrous heart to go with his teeth, we learn that Susan Smith was really just trying some homeopathic dilution on her kids, and Noah will turn out to have been right about Buddhism. Again.

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Headlines: Joel O’Steen defines douche baggery in hurricane response: http://religionnews.com/2017/08/30/joel-osteens-church-defends-itself-after-social-media-storm/ and http://www.patheos.com/blogs/progressivesecularhumanist/2017/08/osteen-asks-50-minimum-donation-helping-hurricane-victims/ Kevin Swanson says Houston is being punished for not passing anti-trans bill: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2017/08/31/kevin-swanson-god-is-punishing-texas-for-not-passing-anti-trans-bathroom-bill/ Rick Wiles pins it on sexual perversion: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2017/08/30/rick-wiles-god-punished-houston-for-its-embrace-of-sexual-perversion/ Daubenmire says it’s about abortion and lesbian mayors: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2017/08/30/dave-daubenmire-god-was-punishing-houston-over-abortion-and-a-lesbian-mayor/ Texas churches suing FEMA to get recovery money: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2017/09/05/texas-churches-are-suing-fema-for-excluding-them-in-disaster-relief-grants/ Some Wackaloon: The Illuminati are using a special frequency to change people’s DNA to make them hate Trump: http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/mark-taylor-freemasons-and-illuminati-are-using-a-special-frequency-to-change-dna-and-make-people-hate-trump/ Con artist and radio host tries to use voodoo to thwart investigation: https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2017/08/31/radio-host-and-accused-ponzi-schemer-used-hoodoo-spell-to-thwart-probe-feds-say Atheists challenge program that allows prisoners to leave prison for church: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2017/09/02/atheists-say-program-letting-prisoners-leave-jail-to-go-to-church-is-illegal/

CDC: Homeopathic bracelet gave infant lead poisoning: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2017/09/02/a-homeopathic-bracelet-gave-an-infant-lead-poisoning-says-the-cdc/

This Week in Misogyny: Half of men don’t know where the vagina is: http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/vagina-men-identify-faily-half-diagram-vagina-gynaecological-cancer-female-genitalia-a7921421.html Children’s publisher apologizes for puberty book that says breasts exist to make women look “grown up and attractive” https://www.theguardian.com/books/2017/aug/29/usborne-apologises-puberty-book-childrens-publisher