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Tall or Nothing

Welcome to the Therapy Crouch! The smash hit podcast from Abbey Clancy and Peter Crouch. Join us on our weekly episodes where we will be exploring the trials and tribulations experienced by us, and you the listener, as we navigate our way through complex relationships. 

Enter into our safe space where nothing is off limits and expect some tears, tantrums and plenty of laughs along the way.

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Therapy Crouch

On today’s episode of The Therapy Crouch, Abbey and Peter are answering your burning questions in another chaotic Ask Us Anything special - and nothing is off limits.

The pod kicks off with a listener dealing with what can only be described as “strategic bowel syndrome”, as one husband mysteriously disappears to the toilet every single time parenting duties begin. Abbey has a surprisingly brutal solution involving adult nappies, while Pete shares his own suspicious bathroom habits.

Elsewhere, the pair help a listener who’s struggling to pull at the races, debate whether it’s ever okay to stay friends with an ex, and give advice to someone whose dad has completely taken over their wedding plans after offering to pay for it.

There’s also a surprisingly deep discussion about AI robots in the home, Abbey reveals what it’s really like walking the runway as a model during fashion week, and the team share their most awkward cinema experiences – including sneaking McDonald’s into the theatre and a dog causing absolute chaos mid-movie.

And in one of the strangest dilemmas yet, Pete discovers the bizarre world of fantasy romance books, as Abbey explains why so many women are hooked on these wildly popular stories.

If you want to submit a question for the podcast – hit the link below.

00:00 Introduction

01:20 “Strategic Bowel Syndrome” Husband

04:20 Dating Advice For A Single Guy

06:00 Dad Taking Over The Wedding

08:30 Would You Have A Robot At Home?

12:05 Abbey’s Runway Advice For Models

14:10 Staying Friends With Your Ex

17:00 Dog Chaos In The Cinema

20:00 Sneaking Food Into Movies

22:00 The Rise Of Fantasy Romance Books

25:00 Romance Films vs Real Relationships

To contact us:

Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetherapycrouchpodcast/

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetherapycrouch

Website: https://thetherapycrouch.com/

For more from Peter

https://twitter.com/petercrouch

For more from Abbey

https://www.instagram.com/abbeyclancy

Our clips channel

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZntcv96YhN8IvMAKsz4Dbg

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Strategic Toilet Breaks, Relationship Drama & Fairy P*rn! Abbey and Peter’s Ask Us Anything!

On today’s episode of The Therapy Crouch, things get steamy (and seriously educational) as Abbey and Peter are joined by renowned sex educator, journalist and PhD researcher Alix Fox.

Alix has spent over two decades exploring the ins and outs (quite literally) of intimacy, fetishes and modern relationships. From her early days reporting on BDSM and subcultures, to working as a script consultant on Netflix’s Sex Education, and now completing a PhD at UCL focused on HIV prevention — Alix has seen every side of the conversation when it comes to sex.

The trio dive into everything from the rise in fantasy-inspired sex toys (up 244% this year!), to why more than half of women admit to faking orgasms to protect their partner’s feelings. They discuss the stigma straight men still face around sex toys, how to introduce fantasies into long-term relationships without offending your partner, and whether honesty in the bedroom is always the best policy.

There are jaw-dropping sex disaster stories (including a frozen sausage incident you will never unhear), eye-opening insights into menopause and libido, and practical advice for couples who want to reset their expectations without hurting feelings.

It’s funny, shocking, awkward and genuinely informative — and it might just change the way you think about your sex life.

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sex Educator Alix Fox: What You’re Doing Wrong In Bed!

On today’s Ask Us Anything episode of The Therapy Crouch, Abbey, Peter and Ross dive head-first into your juiciest dilemmas – and this one gets heated.

We hear from a newlywed struggling with intimacy after anxiety medication kills his wife’s sex drive, sparking an honest conversation about desire, frustration and when it’s time to get professional help.

Then things really kick off as Abbey reacts to a listener who went through her partner’s phone and found bikini pics, pub messages and lads’ group chat behaviour that crosses the line. Is it just “boys’ banter”… or is it borderline cheating?

From trust, boundaries and when sorry just isn’t enough, to iconic football songs and questionable swimming chat, this episode has everything.

If you want to submit an Agony Ab to the podcast – hit the link below.

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1rAKDST4HU_8al_aWpOlys3TRJrWvDV-84piVdlOOjU4/edit

00:00 – Intro, ropey voices & “bleed Therapy Crouch”

01:20 – Cameras down throats & medical horror stories

02:00 – Nicknames chat begins (Matalan, Motion Sensor Light, Curly Whirly)

04:16 – Agony Ab 1: Newlyweds, anxiety meds & no sex

06:20 – “Turbo vs handbrake” & fantasy conversation gets awkward

07:40 – Why fantasising about people you know is dangerous

09:12 – GP advice & “above our pay grade” moment

10:14 – YNWA vs Delilah – which song hits harder?

12:05 – Agony Ab 2: Went through his phone… found bikini pics

13:25 – Pub messages, group chats & “men need to grow up”

14:19 – “That’s borderline cheating” & breaking trust

15:49 – When sorry isn’t enough & healing takes time

16:42 – Final verdict: dump him or set hard boundaries

17:00 – Hot toddy, swimming & gun show jokes

18:12 – Outro

To contact us:

Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetherapycrouchpodcast/

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/

 @thetherapycrouch

Website: https://thetherapycrouch.com/

For more from Peter

https://twitter.com/petercrouch

For more from Abbey

https://www.instagram.com/abbeyclancy

Our clips channel

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZntcv96YhN8IvMAKsz4Dbg

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Is This Cheating? Liking Bikini Pics, Group Chat ‘Banter’ & Phone Snooping

On today’s episode of The Therapy Crouch, it’s time for a Best Of special – the funniest, most chaotic and downright outrageous moments of the year so far.

From Peter’s accidental 6AM “private” workout in the pod (that may or may not have been caught on camera), to Abbey discovering she was someone’s lock screen… nothing is off limits. We revisit the now-infamous saturation diver jellyfish story (yes, it’s as bad as you remember), Pete’s Ibiza jellyfish disaster, and the marriage debate that had everyone shouting “you’re not present at all!”

Plus, the Nickname Game Hall of Fame returns with some absolute crackers — including “Cordless”, “Pothole” and the one ( you know the one!) that nearly broke the internet.

There’s posture problems, packing arguments, erotic literature confusion, scuba diving fails and proof (apparently) that Abbey is a full-blown sex symbol.

If you want to submit a story, Weekly Wine or a nickname for the Hall of Fame – hit the link below:

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1rAKDST4HU_8al_aWpOlys3TRJrWvDV-84piVdlOOjU4/edit

00:00 Introduction – Best Of Special

03:45 WikiFeet & “Abbie’s Trotters”

08:20 Pete’s 6AM Pod Workout

13:10 Posture & Spine Scare

17:40 “You’re Not Present” Marriage Debate

22:15 The Zurich Trip Chaos

27:30 The Jellyfish Diver Horror Story

33:40 Pete’s Ibiza Jellyfish Nightmare

36:50 Abbey’s Lock Screen Moment

40:10 Nickname Game Hall of Fame

45:20 Erotic Literature & Mr Tickle

49:00 Final Laughs

To contact us:

Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetherapycrouchpodcast/

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetherapycrouch

Website: https://thetherapycrouch.com/

For more from Peter

https://twitter.com/petercrouch

For more from Abbey

https://www.instagram.com/abbeyclancy

Our clips channel

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZntcv96YhN8IvMAKsz4Dbg

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

HALF TERM BEST OF: The Jellyfish Incident! Erotic Books, Nickname Chaos & Abby’s Secret Sex Symbol Status!

On today’s Ask Me Anything episode of The Therapy Crouch, Abbey and Peter are diving headfirst into your dilemmas — and nothing is off limits.

From a gym co-owner who’s fed up of being mistaken for “the boss’s wife”, to a couple navigating pregnancy hormones after IVF, Abbey and Pete don’t hold back with their honest (and slightly chaotic) advice.

We get into the great boyfriend-at-50 debate, whether you’re ever too old for labels, and Abbey reveals why she’d never walk down the aisle again. There’s also a conversation about mismatched sex drives during pregnancy that gets very real… very quickly.

And in possibly the most Therapy Crouch segment ever, the team tackle the “Bumfluff Epidemic” — should men be manscaping their backsides in 2026?

Plus, Peter issues a public apology to a listener’s daughter after accidentally smashing a football into her face at Stamford Bridge.

Submit your AMA's by hitting the link below!

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1Mv3i0N5Jm1Kkjvd-4iUkpJEV1_Tisgq58siorNb9zS0/viewform?edit_requested=true

If you want to submit an Agony Ab for the next episode — hit the link below!

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1rAKDST4HU_8al_aWpOlys3TRJrWvDV-84piVdlOOjU4/edit

00:00 – Ask Me Anything kicks off: gym life, paddle obsession & glow-ups

02:32 – The “Co-Owner” dilemma: why no one takes her seriously

04:19 – Abbey’s Christmas confession: “Thanks Dad”… for nothing

06:06 – Drop the “Co” — become THE Owner

07:24 – Lord Sugar memo story: demand the title

09:02 – IVF pregnancy & mismatched sex drives

10:57 – “It’s like the baby’s in the room”

12:03 – Curry, sex & inducing labour myths

14:16 – Are you too old to say “boyfriend”?

15:59 – “I would never get married again”

17:23 – The Bumfluff Epidemic begins

24:01 – Peter hits a 10-year-old in the face — heartfelt apology

To contact us:

Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetherapycrouchpodcast/

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/

 @thetherapycrouch

Website: https://thetherapycrouch.com/

For more from Peter

https://twitter.com/petercrouch

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Peter Crouch: I Hit A 10-Year-Old In The Face… And She Still Has Nightmares

On today’s episode of The Therapy Crouch, things spiral almost immediately as Abbey and Peter dive into everything from our newly launched BONK BEAT BOOK CLUB chaos to one of the most unfiltered birthday calls we’ve ever heard.

Peter shares a listener confession that had him panicking when his wife called his bluff and asked to go through his phone…

We also hear the return of The Nickname Game, featuring some truly outrageous submissions including ‘Thrush’, ‘Harpic’ and the now infamous ‘Butt Plug’ — before Abbey calls her dad live on air for his birthday… and he absolutely steals the show.

In the Agony Abs, we hear from a listener who fears he’s about to lose another relationship because he struggles to show affection — sparking an honest and surprisingly emotional conversation about how men are raised to express (or suppress) their feelings.

If you want to submit an Agony Ab to the podcast - hit the link below

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1rAKDST4HU_8al_aWpOlys3TRJrWvDV-84piVdlOOjU4/edit

00:00 Introduction & The Jumper Debate

03:35 The AirPods Gym Disaster

06:00 Wife Goes Through His Phone

07:20 “I Messaged Peter Crouch…”

11:50 The Nickname Game Returns

15:15 Abbey Calls Her Dad Live

16:45 “He’s Called Butt Plug”

19:30 The Wildest Nicknames Ever

24:30 Smutty Book Club Escalates

27:30 “I Can’t Express My Emotions”

29:10 Relationship Advice & Upbringing

To contact us:

Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetherapycrouchpodcast/

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/

 @thetherapycrouch

Website: https://thetherapycrouch.com/

For more from Peter

https://twitter.com/petercrouch

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Why You Should NEVER Go Through Your Partners Phone!! Plus, Nickname Game, Butt Plugs and Smut Books!

On today’s episode of The Therapy Crouch AMA, Pedro’s off sick so it’s just Abbey and Ross holding down the fort — and chaos ensues.

We kick things off with Ross’s long-awaited face reveal as Abbey recruits the listeners to send in their best photo-fit sketches before the big reveal. There’s also Valentine’s chat, glow-up jealousy and a listener whose partner hasn’t noticed her transformation (men, do better).

In the Agony Abs, we tackle a relationship that’s missing the passion of an ex, the 13-year wait for a proposal, and whether a ring actually changes anything. Plus, Abbey gets brutally honest about weddings, security and why sometimes you need to give your man a kick up the arse.

We also hear about the worst house guest of all time — porch vomit, dressing gown theft and zero self-awareness — before deciding whether ghosting is ever acceptable.

It’s bonk beats vs Classic FM, hot mum paranoia and some very strong opinions on men being completely useless.

If you want to submit an Agony Ab to the podcast – hit the link below

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1rAKDST4HU_8al_aWpOlys3TRJrWvDV-84piVdlOOjU4/edit

00:00 Introduction

01:00 Valentine’s Day & Ross reveal tease

02:00 Ross photo-fit challenge

05:00 Hot mum/Stiffler’s Mum debate

07:00 Glow up vs no compliments

11:15 Ex passion vs secure love

14:00 Classic FM car chaos

15:30 13-year proposal dilemma

18:30 Wedding cost chat

20:45 Festival weirdo house guest

24:00 Dressing gown drama & ghosting

27:50 Book giveaway

31:10 Valentine’s sign-off

To contact us:

Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetherapycrouchpodcast/

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetherapycrouch

Website: https://thetherapycrouch.com/

For more from Peter

https://twitter.com/petercrouch

For more from Abbey

https://www.instagram.com/abbeyclancy

Our clips channel

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZntcv96YhN8IvMAKsz4Dbg

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Entered the Giveaway? Winner Announced! Plus Ross Reveal Update!

In today’s episode of The Therapy Crouch, it’s Valentine’s Day week—and love is not in the air for everyone. Abbey and Peter dive into the chaos of coupledom, unpacking dodgy Valentine’s Day traditions, emotionally-charged listener rants, and their own romantic misfires.

The duo also get into thoughtful (and not-so-thoughtful) gifts, including matching PJs that never made it and strawberry body butter that’s become too predictable.

We also hear from a listener whose Valentine's re-evaluation spiral triggered a relationship crisis, and another whose fiancé ruins every gift by announcing it first. 

Plus, there’s a steamy surprise segment on erotic literature—complete with dramatic readings and some very questionable knots.

Finally, it’s nickname heaven as listeners send in their best ever rude, weird and wildly inappropriate names for mates—featuring “Pothole”, “Slinky”, and the unforgettable “Joy Button.”

Send in your Agony Abs, weekly wines, and nickname game entries below!

00:00 - Introduction

04:32 - Gone Golfin’

18:01 - Valentine’s Day!

29:05 - Bonk Beats Book Club

35:20 - Joy Button

41:18 - So (Ham) Salad

45:33 - Competition time!

To contact us: 

Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetherapycrouchpodcast/ 

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/ @thetherapycrouch 

Website: https://thetherapycrouch.com/ 

For more from Peter

https://twitter.com/petercrouch

For more from Abbey

https://www.instagram.com/abbeyclancy

Our clips channel

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZntcv96YhN8IvMAKsz4Dbg

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

VALENTINES DAY SPECIAL: The Bonk Beat Book Club Launch, Nickname Game and Relationship CRISES!

On this week’s episode of The Therapy Crouch Ask Us Anything, Abbey and Peter are back answering your weird and wonderful relationship dilemmas! 

From bedroom boundaries to breath that clears the room, no topic is off-limits as the pair tackle your juiciest questions with their usual mix of honesty and humour. 

Abbey reacts to a listener who’s left feeling rejected after discovering her partner’s solo antics upstairs, while Peter shares a very revealing story involving an early morning workout and some unfortunately placed studio cameras.

There’s also chaos in the group chat after a hen-do planning fail, the unspoken gym beef that might be more than it seems, and a heartfelt message from a mum navigating her son’s painful hair loss journey.

All this and much more only on this week’s Therapy Crouch, Ask Us Anything! 

00:00 – Intro

05:10 – Parenting Hell

10:30 – Bad Breath

15:55 – Flying Solo

18:10 – 9-Year Itch

23:25 – Gym Crush

31:45 – The Sex Tape (Or lack of)

38:05 – Friendship Fallouts

40:25 – Outro

LAST CHANCE: We’re looking for mates, family-members or couples who want a free TUI holiday worth up to £5000 and a chance to appear on the Therapy Crouch! All you need to do is submit some key info and a video explaining the holiday dilemma you’re stuck with on the link here - https://thetherapycrouch.myaudition.app/ T&C’s apply. 

Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetherapycrouchpodcast

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetherapycrouch 

Website: https://thetherapycrouch.com/ 

For more from Peter

https://twitter.com/petercrouch

For more from Abbey

https://www.instagram.com/abbeyclancy

Our clips channel

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZntcv96YhN8IvMAKsz4Dbg

#TheTherapyCrouch #AbbeyAndPete #RelationshipAdvice #Podcast

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Is This Ever Acceptable? Girlfriend’s Bedroom Antics EXPOSED!

On today’s episode of The Therapy Crouch, things go from hilarious to heartwarming as Abbey and Peter dive into a chaotic mix of birthday surprises, burnt chocolate cats, and alien conspiracies. 

From a charity lunch that ended in shots and Scouse storytelling to Peter’s “notes app revelation” and Abbey’s laser-focused hen do planning, this episode is jam-packed with relatable rants, golden anecdotes, and off-the-cuff laughs.

Pete reflects on the strange phenomenon of being married to a sex symbol (while being shabbered in public toilets), and Abbey shares her intense need to over-plan every detail of life—while Pete floats in football-induced chaos. 

They also go deep on aliens, robot dogs, and conspiracy theories, questioning whether Jeff Bezos might be one of them. 

Meanwhile, listeners write in with snoring scandals, regrettable screen-savers, and shocking first-time confessions.

As always, it’s candid, chaotic, and comfortingly unfiltered.

Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetherapycrouchpodcast

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetherapycrouch 

Website: https://thetherapycrouch.com/ 

For more from Peter

https://twitter.com/petercrouch

For more from Abbey

https://www.instagram.com/abbeyclancy

Our clips channel

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZntcv96YhN8IvMAKsz4Dbg

#TheTherapyCrouch #AbbeyAndPete #RelationshipAdvice #Podcast

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

‘He Had My WIFE As His Screensaver!!’ The Pitfalls of being a Sex Symbol

On today’s episode of The Therapy Crouch, Abbey and Peter unpack the chaos of Abbey’s long awaited 40th birthday — and it’s safe to say Peter surpassed all of our expectations. 

In classic Therapy Crouch style, there was a couple of bumps a long the way - think Simply Red, Spoilt surprises and gift giving headaches - yet Crouchy still scores a 10/10 for this one! 

In the Agony Abs, we hear from a listener who is in desperate need of advice on how to avoid ‘Cringe-fest’ boys with a penchant for T-shirt designs as well as from a listener whose ‘parasite’ housemate is threatening to ruin their ‘new year, new me’ mojo. 

It’s funny, unfiltered, weirdly touching — and proof that even the most chaotic surprises can go right (kind of).

00:04:00 – Abbey’s obsession with “bone” colored paint sparks a hilarious marital debate

00:11:30 – Listener writes in about surprise “I Love India” breakup shirt

00:18:45 – Bowling ball etiquette: when men lose on dates

00:25:00 – Abbey’s flu… or birthday hangover?

00:30:40 – Abbey recaps the full surprise Paris birthday weekend (gifts, glam, family lies)

00:39:50 – Pete admits he left Abbey’s designer gift on the train

00:44:20 – IVF struggle story and Abbey’s heartfelt response on fertility & motherhood

00:50:50 – New Year, nightmare roommate: listener agony advice

00:56:00 – The nail injury that made headlines (and cancelled Pete’s golf)

01:00:10 – Reflections on why the birthday surprise meant everything

Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetherapycrouchpodcast

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetherapycrouch 

Website: https://thetherapycrouch.com/ 

For more from Peter

https://twitter.com/petercrouch

For more from Abbey

https://www.instagram.com/abbeyclancy

Our clips channel

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZntcv96YhN8IvMAKsz4Dbg

#TheTherapyCrouch #AbbeyAndPete #RelationshipAdvice #Podcast

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How to Stay Naughty at 40: Abbey’s Bday Bonanza Debrief

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