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Tall or Nothing

Welcome to the Therapy Crouch! The smash hit podcast from Abbey Clancy and Peter Crouch. Join us on our weekly episodes where we will be exploring the trials and tribulations experienced by us, and you the listener, as we navigate our way through complex relationships. 

Enter into our safe space where nothing is off limits and expect some tears, tantrums and plenty of laughs along the way.

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Therapy Crouch

On today’s episode of The Therapy Crouch Ask Me Anything, Abbey and Peter are back answering your questions and sharing some of the most chaotic stories from their week.

Abbey reveals a terrifying experience driving down the winding roads of Box Hill, despite having a serious fear of heights. With a sheer drop beside the road, cars piling up behind her and the kids in the back, the pressure quickly became overwhelming as she tried to navigate one of the narrowest roads she’s ever driven.

Peter also finds himself under fire as Abbey recalls another recent car journey with him behind the wheel, comparing the experience to the Wolf of Wall Street boat scene thanks to some rather aggressive acceleration and braking.

The team also tackle some of your questions, including a sticky dating situation where a listener may have complicated his love life after getting a barmaid’s number… only to realise she’s friends with his new girlfriend.

Plus there’s discussion around relationship “wine therapy”, whether sitting down with a glass of wine actually helps solve arguments or just makes things worse, the ultimate wine vs beer debate, and some hilarious ideas for the kids’ next fancy dress outfits.

If you want to submit an AMA question to the podcast - hit the link below

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1rAKDST4HU_8al_aWpOlys3TRJrWvDV-84piVdlOOjU4/edit

The Therapy Crouch is sponsored by TUI! You pick it, they sort it. The time has come for Abbey and Pete to help two listeners solve a real life holiday dilemma they’re trying to crack, ahead of their TUI holiday! https://www.tui.co.uk/

00:00 Introduction

01:00 Dog Chaos & Early Morning Wake Ups

03:00 Abbey vs Peter Driving Debate

04:40 Abbey’s Terrifying Box Hill Drive

09:40 Who Is Actually the Worst Driver?

14:30 Dating Dilemma: Two Barmaids Problem

19:30 Dating Multiple People Debate

23:00 Honesty vs Lying in Relationships

25:25 Wine Therapy Gone Wrong

28:50 Kids Dressing Up as Peter Crouch

33:00 Easter Book Joke & Outro

To contact us:

Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetherapycrouchpodcast/

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetherapycrouch

Website: https://thetherapycrouch.com/

For more from Peter

https://twitter.com/petercrouch

For more from Abbey

https://www.instagram.com/abbeyclancy

Our clips channel

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZntcv96YhN8IvMAKsz4Dbg

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Abbey Clancy’s Worst Drive Ever! Dating Dilemmas & Wine Debates!

On today’s episode of The Therapy Crouch, it’s a Mother’s Day special on the podcast as Abbey and Peter welcome a very special guest onto the couch — Abbey’s mum Karen. The episode kicks off with Pete admitting to a classic husband fail after forgetting Abbey’s very first Mother’s Day which sparks a debate about the pressure of getting the perfect gift and whether husbands should actually be responsible for organising the day at all.

Abbey also reveals that she’s been secretly editing Pete’s flower orders over the years to make sure she actually gets the bouquet she wants, while Pete defends himself saying the expectations around special occasions are getting out of hand.

Later on Karen joins the pod and shares stories about Abbey growing up, what she was really like as a child and why she always knew her daughter would end up performing and entertaining. We also hear about pregnancy cravings, family traditions in Liverpool and what Mother’s Day looks like once your kids grow up and start their own families.

In the Agony Abs we hear from a mum who secretly hates Mother’s Day and another listener wondering if her husband should still be helping the kids organise gifts even now they’re teenagers.

If you want to submit an Agony Ab to the podcast - hit the link below

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1rAKDST4HU_8al_aWpOlys3TRJrWvDV-84piVdlOOjU4/edit

00:00 Introduction

02:00 Ricky Gervais “Going Big Time” Story

03:20 Awkward Fan Encounters & Golf Story with Alan Shearer

05:40 Abbey’s Lurch Dog Obsession

07:05 The “Failed Police Dog” Story

09:00 What They’re Watching Right Now

10:35 Pete’s First Mother’s Day Fail

12:00 Abbey’s Weekly Wine: Pete’s “Organising” Skills

14:30 The Pressure of Mother’s Day Gifts

16:40 Listener Confession: “I Hate Mother’s Day”

18:30 Abbey Admits She Changes Pete’s Flower Orders

19:40 Kitchen Hygiene Debate (Upside Down Cups)

21:30 Abbey’s Mum Joins the Podcast

23:00 Pregnancy Cravings & Chip Shop Stories

25:15 What Abbey Was Like Growing Up

26:40 Karen on Abbey’s Talent as a Child

28:00 The Reality of Having a Newborn

29:00 Abbey Still Wants More Kids

30:00 How Mother’s Day Traditions Have Changed

To contact us:

Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetherapycrouchpodcast/

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/

@thetherapycrouch

Website: https://thetherapycrouch.com/

For more from Peter

https://twitter.com/petercrouch

For more from Abbey

https://www.instagram.com/abbeyclancy

Our clips channel

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZntcv96YhN8IvMAKsz4Dbg

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Mother’s Day Special! Abbey’s Mum Joins the Pod, Pete’s Gift Fail and Mother’s Day Confessions

On today’s episode of The Therapy Crouch, Abbey and Peter are answering your burning questions in another chaotic Ask Us Anything special - and nothing is off limits.

The pod kicks off with a listener dealing with what can only be described as “strategic bowel syndrome”, as one husband mysteriously disappears to the toilet every single time parenting duties begin. Abbey has a surprisingly brutal solution involving adult nappies, while Pete shares his own suspicious bathroom habits.

Elsewhere, the pair help a listener who’s struggling to pull at the races, debate whether it’s ever okay to stay friends with an ex, and give advice to someone whose dad has completely taken over their wedding plans after offering to pay for it.

There’s also a surprisingly deep discussion about AI robots in the home, Abbey reveals what it’s really like walking the runway as a model during fashion week, and the team share their most awkward cinema experiences – including sneaking McDonald’s into the theatre and a dog causing absolute chaos mid-movie.

And in one of the strangest dilemmas yet, Pete discovers the bizarre world of fantasy romance books, as Abbey explains why so many women are hooked on these wildly popular stories.

If you want to submit a question for the podcast – hit the link below.

00:00 Introduction

01:20 “Strategic Bowel Syndrome” Husband

04:20 Dating Advice For A Single Guy

06:00 Dad Taking Over The Wedding

08:30 Would You Have A Robot At Home?

12:05 Abbey’s Runway Advice For Models

14:10 Staying Friends With Your Ex

17:00 Dog Chaos In The Cinema

20:00 Sneaking Food Into Movies

22:00 The Rise Of Fantasy Romance Books

25:00 Romance Films vs Real Relationships

To contact us:

Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetherapycrouchpodcast/

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetherapycrouch

Website: https://thetherapycrouch.com/

For more from Peter

https://twitter.com/petercrouch

For more from Abbey

https://www.instagram.com/abbeyclancy

Our clips channel

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZntcv96YhN8IvMAKsz4Dbg

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Strategic Toilet Breaks, Relationship Drama & Fairy P*rn! Abbey and Peter’s Ask Us Anything!

On today’s episode of The Therapy Crouch, things get steamy (and seriously educational) as Abbey and Peter are joined by renowned sex educator, journalist and PhD researcher Alix Fox.

Alix has spent over two decades exploring the ins and outs (quite literally) of intimacy, fetishes and modern relationships. From her early days reporting on BDSM and subcultures, to working as a script consultant on Netflix’s Sex Education, and now completing a PhD at UCL focused on HIV prevention — Alix has seen every side of the conversation when it comes to sex.

The trio dive into everything from the rise in fantasy-inspired sex toys (up 244% this year!), to why more than half of women admit to faking orgasms to protect their partner’s feelings. They discuss the stigma straight men still face around sex toys, how to introduce fantasies into long-term relationships without offending your partner, and whether honesty in the bedroom is always the best policy.

There are jaw-dropping sex disaster stories (including a frozen sausage incident you will never unhear), eye-opening insights into menopause and libido, and practical advice for couples who want to reset their expectations without hurting feelings.

It’s funny, shocking, awkward and genuinely informative — and it might just change the way you think about your sex life.

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sex Educator Alix Fox: What You’re Doing Wrong In Bed!

On today’s Ask Us Anything episode of The Therapy Crouch, Abbey, Peter and Ross dive head-first into your juiciest dilemmas – and this one gets heated.

We hear from a newlywed struggling with intimacy after anxiety medication kills his wife’s sex drive, sparking an honest conversation about desire, frustration and when it’s time to get professional help.

Then things really kick off as Abbey reacts to a listener who went through her partner’s phone and found bikini pics, pub messages and lads’ group chat behaviour that crosses the line. Is it just “boys’ banter”… or is it borderline cheating?

From trust, boundaries and when sorry just isn’t enough, to iconic football songs and questionable swimming chat, this episode has everything.

If you want to submit an Agony Ab to the podcast – hit the link below.

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1rAKDST4HU_8al_aWpOlys3TRJrWvDV-84piVdlOOjU4/edit

00:00 – Intro, ropey voices & “bleed Therapy Crouch”

01:20 – Cameras down throats & medical horror stories

02:00 – Nicknames chat begins (Matalan, Motion Sensor Light, Curly Whirly)

04:16 – Agony Ab 1: Newlyweds, anxiety meds & no sex

06:20 – “Turbo vs handbrake” & fantasy conversation gets awkward

07:40 – Why fantasising about people you know is dangerous

09:12 – GP advice & “above our pay grade” moment

10:14 – YNWA vs Delilah – which song hits harder?

12:05 – Agony Ab 2: Went through his phone… found bikini pics

13:25 – Pub messages, group chats & “men need to grow up”

14:19 – “That’s borderline cheating” & breaking trust

15:49 – When sorry isn’t enough & healing takes time

16:42 – Final verdict: dump him or set hard boundaries

17:00 – Hot toddy, swimming & gun show jokes

18:12 – Outro

To contact us:

Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetherapycrouchpodcast/

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/

 @thetherapycrouch

Website: https://thetherapycrouch.com/

For more from Peter

https://twitter.com/petercrouch

For more from Abbey

https://www.instagram.com/abbeyclancy

Our clips channel

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZntcv96YhN8IvMAKsz4Dbg

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Is This Cheating? Liking Bikini Pics, Group Chat ‘Banter’ & Phone Snooping

On today’s episode of The Therapy Crouch, it’s time for a Best Of special – the funniest, most chaotic and downright outrageous moments of the year so far.

From Peter’s accidental 6AM “private” workout in the pod (that may or may not have been caught on camera), to Abbey discovering she was someone’s lock screen… nothing is off limits. We revisit the now-infamous saturation diver jellyfish story (yes, it’s as bad as you remember), Pete’s Ibiza jellyfish disaster, and the marriage debate that had everyone shouting “you’re not present at all!”

Plus, the Nickname Game Hall of Fame returns with some absolute crackers — including “Cordless”, “Pothole” and the one ( you know the one!) that nearly broke the internet.

There’s posture problems, packing arguments, erotic literature confusion, scuba diving fails and proof (apparently) that Abbey is a full-blown sex symbol.

If you want to submit a story, Weekly Wine or a nickname for the Hall of Fame – hit the link below:

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1rAKDST4HU_8al_aWpOlys3TRJrWvDV-84piVdlOOjU4/edit

00:00 Introduction – Best Of Special

03:45 WikiFeet & “Abbie’s Trotters”

08:20 Pete’s 6AM Pod Workout

13:10 Posture & Spine Scare

17:40 “You’re Not Present” Marriage Debate

22:15 The Zurich Trip Chaos

27:30 The Jellyfish Diver Horror Story

33:40 Pete’s Ibiza Jellyfish Nightmare

36:50 Abbey’s Lock Screen Moment

40:10 Nickname Game Hall of Fame

45:20 Erotic Literature & Mr Tickle

49:00 Final Laughs

To contact us:

Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetherapycrouchpodcast/

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetherapycrouch

Website: https://thetherapycrouch.com/

For more from Peter

https://twitter.com/petercrouch

For more from Abbey

https://www.instagram.com/abbeyclancy

Our clips channel

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZntcv96YhN8IvMAKsz4Dbg

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

HALF TERM BEST OF: The Jellyfish Incident! Erotic Books, Nickname Chaos & Abby’s Secret Sex Symbol Status!

On today’s Ask Me Anything episode of The Therapy Crouch, Abbey and Peter are diving headfirst into your dilemmas — and nothing is off limits.

From a gym co-owner who’s fed up of being mistaken for “the boss’s wife”, to a couple navigating pregnancy hormones after IVF, Abbey and Pete don’t hold back with their honest (and slightly chaotic) advice.

We get into the great boyfriend-at-50 debate, whether you’re ever too old for labels, and Abbey reveals why she’d never walk down the aisle again. There’s also a conversation about mismatched sex drives during pregnancy that gets very real… very quickly.

And in possibly the most Therapy Crouch segment ever, the team tackle the “Bumfluff Epidemic” — should men be manscaping their backsides in 2026?

Plus, Peter issues a public apology to a listener’s daughter after accidentally smashing a football into her face at Stamford Bridge.

Submit your AMA's by hitting the link below!

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1Mv3i0N5Jm1Kkjvd-4iUkpJEV1_Tisgq58siorNb9zS0/viewform?edit_requested=true

If you want to submit an Agony Ab for the next episode — hit the link below!

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1rAKDST4HU_8al_aWpOlys3TRJrWvDV-84piVdlOOjU4/edit

00:00 – Ask Me Anything kicks off: gym life, paddle obsession & glow-ups

02:32 – The “Co-Owner” dilemma: why no one takes her seriously

04:19 – Abbey’s Christmas confession: “Thanks Dad”… for nothing

06:06 – Drop the “Co” — become THE Owner

07:24 – Lord Sugar memo story: demand the title

09:02 – IVF pregnancy & mismatched sex drives

10:57 – “It’s like the baby’s in the room”

12:03 – Curry, sex & inducing labour myths

14:16 – Are you too old to say “boyfriend”?

15:59 – “I would never get married again”

17:23 – The Bumfluff Epidemic begins

24:01 – Peter hits a 10-year-old in the face — heartfelt apology

To contact us:

Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetherapycrouchpodcast/

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/

 @thetherapycrouch

Website: https://thetherapycrouch.com/

For more from Peter

https://twitter.com/petercrouch

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Peter Crouch: I Hit A 10-Year-Old In The Face… And She Still Has Nightmares

On today’s episode of The Therapy Crouch, things spiral almost immediately as Abbey and Peter dive into everything from our newly launched BONK BEAT BOOK CLUB chaos to one of the most unfiltered birthday calls we’ve ever heard.

Peter shares a listener confession that had him panicking when his wife called his bluff and asked to go through his phone…

We also hear the return of The Nickname Game, featuring some truly outrageous submissions including ‘Thrush’, ‘Harpic’ and the now infamous ‘Butt Plug’ — before Abbey calls her dad live on air for his birthday… and he absolutely steals the show.

In the Agony Abs, we hear from a listener who fears he’s about to lose another relationship because he struggles to show affection — sparking an honest and surprisingly emotional conversation about how men are raised to express (or suppress) their feelings.

If you want to submit an Agony Ab to the podcast - hit the link below

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1rAKDST4HU_8al_aWpOlys3TRJrWvDV-84piVdlOOjU4/edit

00:00 Introduction & The Jumper Debate

03:35 The AirPods Gym Disaster

06:00 Wife Goes Through His Phone

07:20 “I Messaged Peter Crouch…”

11:50 The Nickname Game Returns

15:15 Abbey Calls Her Dad Live

16:45 “He’s Called Butt Plug”

19:30 The Wildest Nicknames Ever

24:30 Smutty Book Club Escalates

27:30 “I Can’t Express My Emotions”

29:10 Relationship Advice & Upbringing

To contact us:

Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetherapycrouchpodcast/

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/

 @thetherapycrouch

Website: https://thetherapycrouch.com/

For more from Peter

https://twitter.com/petercrouch

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Why You Should NEVER Go Through Your Partners Phone!! Plus, Nickname Game, Butt Plugs and Smut Books!

On today’s episode of The Therapy Crouch AMA, Pedro’s off sick so it’s just Abbey and Ross holding down the fort — and chaos ensues.

We kick things off with Ross’s long-awaited face reveal as Abbey recruits the listeners to send in their best photo-fit sketches before the big reveal. There’s also Valentine’s chat, glow-up jealousy and a listener whose partner hasn’t noticed her transformation (men, do better).

In the Agony Abs, we tackle a relationship that’s missing the passion of an ex, the 13-year wait for a proposal, and whether a ring actually changes anything. Plus, Abbey gets brutally honest about weddings, security and why sometimes you need to give your man a kick up the arse.

We also hear about the worst house guest of all time — porch vomit, dressing gown theft and zero self-awareness — before deciding whether ghosting is ever acceptable.

It’s bonk beats vs Classic FM, hot mum paranoia and some very strong opinions on men being completely useless.

If you want to submit an Agony Ab to the podcast – hit the link below

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1rAKDST4HU_8al_aWpOlys3TRJrWvDV-84piVdlOOjU4/edit

00:00 Introduction

01:00 Valentine’s Day & Ross reveal tease

02:00 Ross photo-fit challenge

05:00 Hot mum/Stiffler’s Mum debate

07:00 Glow up vs no compliments

11:15 Ex passion vs secure love

14:00 Classic FM car chaos

15:30 13-year proposal dilemma

18:30 Wedding cost chat

20:45 Festival weirdo house guest

24:00 Dressing gown drama & ghosting

27:50 Book giveaway

31:10 Valentine’s sign-off

To contact us:

Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetherapycrouchpodcast/

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetherapycrouch

Website: https://thetherapycrouch.com/

For more from Peter

https://twitter.com/petercrouch

For more from Abbey

https://www.instagram.com/abbeyclancy

Our clips channel

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZntcv96YhN8IvMAKsz4Dbg

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Entered the Giveaway? Winner Announced! Plus Ross Reveal Update!

In today’s episode of The Therapy Crouch, it’s Valentine’s Day week—and love is not in the air for everyone. Abbey and Peter dive into the chaos of coupledom, unpacking dodgy Valentine’s Day traditions, emotionally-charged listener rants, and their own romantic misfires.

The duo also get into thoughtful (and not-so-thoughtful) gifts, including matching PJs that never made it and strawberry body butter that’s become too predictable.

We also hear from a listener whose Valentine's re-evaluation spiral triggered a relationship crisis, and another whose fiancé ruins every gift by announcing it first. 

Plus, there’s a steamy surprise segment on erotic literature—complete with dramatic readings and some very questionable knots.

Finally, it’s nickname heaven as listeners send in their best ever rude, weird and wildly inappropriate names for mates—featuring “Pothole”, “Slinky”, and the unforgettable “Joy Button.”

Send in your Agony Abs, weekly wines, and nickname game entries below!

00:00 - Introduction

04:32 - Gone Golfin’

18:01 - Valentine’s Day!

29:05 - Bonk Beats Book Club

35:20 - Joy Button

41:18 - So (Ham) Salad

45:33 - Competition time!

To contact us: 

Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetherapycrouchpodcast/ 

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/ @thetherapycrouch 

Website: https://thetherapycrouch.com/ 

For more from Peter

https://twitter.com/petercrouch

For more from Abbey

https://www.instagram.com/abbeyclancy

Our clips channel

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZntcv96YhN8IvMAKsz4Dbg

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

VALENTINES DAY SPECIAL: The Bonk Beat Book Club Launch, Nickname Game and Relationship CRISES!

On today’s episode of The Therapy Crouch, things go from hilarious to heartwarming as Abbey and Peter dive into a chaotic mix of birthday surprises, burnt chocolate cats, and alien conspiracies. 

From a charity lunch that ended in shots and Scouse storytelling to Peter’s “notes app revelation” and Abbey’s laser-focused hen do planning, this episode is jam-packed with relatable rants, golden anecdotes, and off-the-cuff laughs.

Pete reflects on the strange phenomenon of being married to a sex symbol (while being shabbered in public toilets), and Abbey shares her intense need to over-plan every detail of life—while Pete floats in football-induced chaos. 

They also go deep on aliens, robot dogs, and conspiracy theories, questioning whether Jeff Bezos might be one of them. 

Meanwhile, listeners write in with snoring scandals, regrettable screen-savers, and shocking first-time confessions.

As always, it’s candid, chaotic, and comfortingly unfiltered.

Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetherapycrouchpodcast

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetherapycrouch 

Website: https://thetherapycrouch.com/ 

For more from Peter

https://twitter.com/petercrouch

For more from Abbey

https://www.instagram.com/abbeyclancy

Our clips channel

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZntcv96YhN8IvMAKsz4Dbg

#TheTherapyCrouch #AbbeyAndPete #RelationshipAdvice #Podcast

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

‘He Had My WIFE As His Screensaver!!’ The Pitfalls of being a Sex Symbol

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