Attachment Trauma Series PART 3: Healing Shame: Why Safe Love Feels Scary with Rebecca Prolman

In this part 3 of our Attachment series, therapist Rebecca Prolman joins John Kim to unpack how childhood misattunement wires shame, why anger isn’t the enemy, and how “emotional completion” helps you reclaim the parts you exiled to survive. They explore corrective relationships (why real safety can feel scary), co-regulation for kids, and practical steps to move from fawning to sovereignty.

Key topics & takeaways:

Shame as a survival strategy that blocks primary emotions (grief/anger)

Emotional completion: feeling what shame protected so it can release

Co-regulation vs. punishment/time-outs for children’s anger

Corrective relationships: safety, grief, and why “boring” can be secure

Depth sustains attraction; chemistry alone burns out

Naming early ruptures without making caregivers “villains”

Methods mentioned: NARM — Neuro-Affective Relational Model (Dr. Laurence Heller ).

Resources (as mentioned by Rebecca):

Try Rebecca’s mini course if you’re new to this work; consider the 5-module course for deeper practice HERE

Parts 1 HERE & Part 2 of this series HERE

🔗 Follow Rebecca Prolman

Instagram | TikTok | YouTube → @rebeccaprolman

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