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Dave Stachowiak

Leaders aren’t born, they’re made. This Monday show helps you discover leadership wisdom through insightful conversations. Independently produced weekly since 2011, Dr. Dave Stachowiak brings perspective from a thriving, global leadership academy, plus more than 15 years of leadership at Dale Carnegie. Bestselling authors, expert researchers, deep conversation, and regular dialogue with listeners have attracted 40 million downloads and the #1 search result for management on Apple Podcasts. Activate your FREE membership to access the entire leadership and management library at CoachingforLeaders.com

Coaching for Leaders

Anne Chow: Lead Bigger
Anne Chow was the CEO of AT&T Business and the first woman of color CEO in AT&T’s 140+ year history, responsible for leading a $35B global operating unit of over 35,000 people. She was named to Fortune’s Most Powerful Women in Business twice and today serves on a number of boards, including FranklinCovey, 3M, and CSX. She is the author of Lead Bigger: The Transformative Power of Inclusion.

We all know the importance of values, but it’s often hard to know where to begin when clarifying them with a team. In this conversation, Anne and I explore how to align on values that support a great culture and move towards a vision.
Key Points

 Values and ideologies are distinct. Leading bigger means honoring diverse ideologies while aligning on core values.
 Bigger leaders have the courage to admit and cite situations where they fall short.
 When asking people to craft values, invite them to start by individually considering their personal values.
 When discussing values as a group, highlight both the common agreements and also the outlying ideas.
 Leaders must ultimately decide which values best embody the culture and vision of their organization.
 Bring in different stakeholders to do a gut check on whether the values are legitimate.
 Measure behaviors against values and review and update values and metrics regularly.

Resources Mentioned

 Lead Bigger: The Transformative Power of Inclusion by Anne Chow

Interview Notes
Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).
Related Episodes

 How to Create Team Guidelines, with Susan Gerke (episode 192)
 How to Discover What Others Value, with Joe Hart (episode 616)
 How to Prevent a Team From Repeating Mistakes, with Robert “Cujo” Teschner (episode 660)

Discover More
Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

712: Clarifying Values for a Workplace People Love, with Anne Chow

Jennifer Garvey Berger: Changing on the Job
Jennifer Garvey Berger is cofounder and CEO of Cultivating Leadership, a consultancy that serves executives and teams in the private, non-profit, and government sectors. Her clients include Google, Microsoft, Novartis, Wikipedia, and Oxfam International. She is the author of four leadership books, including now in it’s second edition, Changing on the Job: How Leaders Become Courageous, Wise, and Steady in an Anxious World*.

We often think about feedback as something we give to someone else. What if, in addition to that, feedback is an opportunity for both parties to learn and grow. In this conversation, Jennifer and I explore how this can open a door to some of the best leadership work we do.
Key Points

 If we view feedback as only giving our truth to someone else, we’ve missed a huge opportunity for growth.
 Start by separating what happened from the interpretation of what happened.
 Get curious about your own response: what made you react so strongly?
 Talk it out. You have to welcome someone else into your thinking if you’re going to really learn.
 Invite in how the other person sees the situation. Consider saying, “I’m really interested in what this looked like from your perspective.”
 The process of unwinding what you hear is the good work of leadership and some the best work you can do.
 Build a solution together.

Resources Mentioned

 Changing on the Job: How Leaders Become Courageous, Wise, and Steady in an Anxious World* by Jennifer Garvey Berger

Interview Notes
Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).
Related Episodes

 Essentials of Adult Development, with Mindy Danna (episode 273)
 How to Give Feedback, with Russ Laraway (episode 583)
 How to Lead Better Through Complexity, with Jennifer Garvey Berger (episode 613)

Production Credit
Coaching for Leaders is edited by Andrew Kroeger. Production support is provided by Sierra Priest.
Discover More
Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

713: How to Grow From Feedback, with Jennifer Garvey Berger

Bonni Stachowiak: Teaching in Higher Ed
Bonni is the host of the Teaching in Higher Ed podcast, Dean of Teaching and Learning and Professor of Business and Management at Vanguard University, and my life partner. Prior to her academic career, she was a human resources consultant and executive officer for a publicly traded company. Bonni is the author of The Productive Online and Offline Professor: A Practical Guide*.
Listener Questions

 Josh asked about helpful practices for setting chat groups in the workplace, especially for remote workers.
 Lily was curious about the best way to structure a first session of a new innovation group and also how to help people engage.
 Nicole wondered how she might navigate a situation with a particular donor who is asking for more support than is typical.

Resources Mentioned

 The Art of Gathering: How We Meet and Why It Matters* by Priya Parker
 The Five Dysfunctions of a Team: A Leadership Fable* by Patrick Lencioni
 Sunrise, Sunset from Fiddler on the Roof

Related Episodes

 How to Create Meaningful Gatherings, with Priya Parker (episode 395)
 Transitioning to Remote Leadership, with Tammy Bjelland (episode 509)
 Transcend Leadership Struggles Through Your Strengths, with Lisa Cummings (episode 692)

Discover More
Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

714: Team Collaboration and Communication, with Bonni Stachowiak

Why start this show?

 A bit of background about me
 How my doctoral dissertation got me thinking about the importance for leaders to focus on themselves
 One thing I've learned for sure: leaders can make a big difference in the lives of others if they take a little time to make a difference in themselves
 Why I care about this
 Lots of resources coming - articles/blogs/Q&A/guests/authors/books/my own perspective

I want your perspective as well:
To submit a comment, question or feedback, visit coachingforleaders.com/feedback

Powerful Listening

 Audio exercise - part 1
 What did you hear? It sounds a lot like a lot of our work lives.
 Audio exercise - part 2

Four Listening Levels:

 Pretend
 Partial
 Present
 Powerful

You can't listen powerfully all the time - but you need to at least some of the time.

Good listening is important work for a leader...just an important (if not more so) than "normal work"

Download the Listening Skills Assessment
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Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic.

1: Introduction to Powerful Listening

Matt Ross: Liberty Mutual
Welcome to the second episode of Coaching Skills for Leaders! Special guest this week: Matt Ross from Liberty Mutual

How did things go with the listening assessment from the first episode? If you missed it, download the PDF here.

How to start coaching someone:

 This is a huge missed opportunity for a lot of leaders.
 Leaders start teaching a new skill, and that's it…before getting to know someone and without connecting it to the other person's goals/desires.

The model for how to start coaching someone:

F - Future
R - Reality
O - Obstacles
M - Meaning

What to listen for in the interview with Matt Ross:

1) FROM model
2) This shouldn't be an interrogation...you can jump around
3) The importance of silence

Interview with Matt Ross
Contact Matt Ross at this link

What I would do if I was Matt's manager?

 I'd want to talk in terms of how the tasks he's working on connect with his goals.
 If those opportunities weren't there, I'd do my best to create those opportunities for Matt.
 This doesn't take long...the entire interview was 14 minutes and could have been shorter.

Three reasons leaders skip doing this:

 They don't know they should do it (but hopefully you see how helpful this can be)
 They don't know how to do it (but now you do!)
 It takes too long (not really, per our example)

And a final reason right now, they don't have to do it because of the economy. However, at some point better times for employees are coming and those that aren't led well will move on.

In 2010, Harvard Business Review reported on statistics for high potential employees. They reported that:

 1 in 3 high potential employees admit to not putting all their effort into their job
 1 in 4 believes they will be working for another employer in a year

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Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic.

2: How to Start Coaching Someone

A brief overview of how teaching fits into coaching. We're going to examine a few lessons from The Adult Learner* by Malcolm Knowles.

Pedagogy vs. Andragogy (art of teaching kids vs. self concept of being responsible for ourselves) (Greek: child-leading, man-leading). You can't teach adults the way you teach kids.

Why talk about kids? As coaches, there's the tendency to fall back on what we've seen all our lives and what we remember from school - unfortunately, those same skills don't work with adults.
6 assumptions about andragogy:

 The Need to Know (adults need to know why something is important before learning it)
 The leaner's self concept (they want to be responsible for the progression of their own lives).
 The role of learner's experiences (adults have a lot more of them)
 Readiness to learn (adults need timing that corresponds with developmental tasks)
 Orientation to learning (adults will learn to support what they think will help them in real-life tasks)
 Motivation (adults want job satisfaction, self-esteem, quality of life)

Book recommendation: Drive* by Daniel Pink
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Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic.

3: Six Ways Teaching Adults is Different than Teaching Kids

Welcome to the seventh episode of Coaching Skills for Leaders! This week's topic: How to Coach the Millennials (Part 1).

One of the biggest challenges I hear from leaders today is how to coach this new generation of young people entering the workforce. I cite current statistics from the Fall 2011 edition of the Leader to Leader Journal.

Special guest: Dr. Gilbert Fugitt
Associate Dean of Students at Concordia University in Irvine, CA
You can reach Gilbert at gilbert.fugitt@cui.edu

Gilbert mentioned the book Not Everybody Gets a Trophy by Bruce Tulgan as a resource for leaders.

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Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic.

7: How to Coach the Millennials, with Gilbert Fugitt

Welcome to the eighth episode of Coaching Skills for Leaders! This week's topic: How to Coach the Millennials (Part 2).

One of the biggest challenges I hear from leaders today is how to coach this new generation of young people entering the workforce. I cite current statistics from the Fall 2011 edition of the Leader to Leader Journal.

Special guest: Dr. Bonni Stachowiak
President of Innovate Learning (our firm)
Associate Professor of Business at Vanguard University in Costa Mesa, CA

Discover More
Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic.

8: How to Coach the Millennials (Part 2), with Bonni Stachowiak

Dave Stachowiak: Coaching for Leaders
In his book What Got You Here Won’t Get You There, leadership coach Marshall Goldsmith warns against the habit of leaders adding too much value and stifling the motivation of an employee’s independent ideas. He says that when we start improving an employee’s idea, “You may have improved the content of my idea by 5 percent, but you’ve reduced my commitment to executing it by 50 percent, because you’ve taken away my ownership of the idea.”

Does it even make sense to give someone feedback? Here's a helpful guide.

Minor issue?

 If the person is aware: ask what they plan to do to resolve it
 If the person is unaware: let it go

Major issue?

 If the person is aware : ask questions and help brainstorm
 If the person is unaware - redirect by using EXPECTATION -> EXAMPLE -> EMPOWER

Saying something "nice" first can get us in trouble as a leader:

 It doesn't sound sincere, since it's often done only before constructive feedback
 It's not credible since the leader will often fail to cite evidence and examples
 The leader ends up gliding over the real issue and the person never really hears the constructive feedback

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Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic.

10: The Way to Give Constructive Feedback

Bonni is the host of the Teaching in Higher Ed podcast, Dean of Teaching and Learning and Professor of Business and Management at Vanguard University, and my life partner. Prior to her academic career, she was a human resources consultant and executive officer for a publicly traded company. Bonni is the author of The Productive Online and Offline Professor: A Practical Guide*.

You can't create a shared vision without having your own vision first. It's inappropriate for us to be dependent on others or independent from them. Rather, we need to have relationships of interdependence. Bonni mentioned a clip from the movie Spartacus which captures the power of interdependence:

Two key elements of a shared vision:

 The people involved have a shared picture of what the future looks like.
 Everyone is committed to achieving the work and working towards it together.

We discussed four steps for leaders to take when creating a shared vision:

A few books that we mentioned on this episode:

 The Fifth Discipline* by Peter Senge
 The Leadership Challenge* by James Kouzes and Barry Posner

We also mentioned Linda Krall, our favorite strategic illustrator
Discover More
Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

11: How to Create a Shared Vision, with Bonni Stachowiak

Mark Goulston: Real Influence

Check out Mark’s article on this same topic on the Harvard Business Review blog

Three three-step process that Mark recommended:

1. What are you most frustrated about?
2. What are you most angry about?
3. What are you really worried about?

Here are links to Mark’s books:

 Real Influence: Persuade Without Pushing and Gain Without Giving In
 Just Listen

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Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic.

91: How to Listen When Someone Is Venting, with Mark Goulston

91: How to Listen When Someone Is Venting, with Mark Goulston

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