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Dave Stachowiak

Leaders aren’t born; they’re made. Many leaders reach points in their careers where what worked yesterday doesn’t work today. This Monday show helps leaders thrive at these key inflection points. Independently produced weekly since 2011, Dr. Dave Stachowiak shares insights from a decade of leading a global leadership academy, plus more than 15 years of leadership at Dale Carnegie. Bestselling authors, proven leaders, expert thinkers, and deep conversation have attracted 50 million downloads and over 300,000 followers. Join the FREE membership to search the entire leadership and management library by topic at CoachingforLeaders.com

Coaching for Leaders

Academy alum Marisol Bello of The Housing Narrative Lab joins Dave to share how she made the shift from command and control to serve and support.

Are you at an inflection point? Applications to the Coaching for Leaders Academy are open until Friday, March 20th. Visit the Coaching for Leaders Academy page to apply.

From Command and Control to Serve and Support, with Marisol Bello

Nir Eyal: Beyond Belief

Nir Eyal writes, consults, and teaches about the intersection of psychology, technology, and business. He is the author of two bestselling books, Hooked and Indistractable, selling more than a million copies and translated in over 30 languages. He is the author of the new book, Beyond Belief: The Science-Backed Way to Stop Limiting Yourself and Achieve Breakthrough Results (Amazon, Bookshop)*.

Most of us recognize that a huge part of what motivates us – or not – is our own thinking. In this conversation, Nir and I explore where our beliefs get in the way and how we can align them just a bit to help us move forward.

Key Points

 • A sentence starting with “I am…” can be among the most dangerous in any language. Often, our beliefs limit us.

 • Belief is the foundation of the motivation triangle that includes benefit and behavior. Yet, we often overlook beliefs.

 • Curt Richter’s study of rats in the 1950s shows how an animal’s belief system can massively influence its behavior.

 • The real question isn’t “Is this belief true?” but rather, “Does this belief serve me?”

 • You can choose beliefs based on usefulness, not certainty.

 • Difficulty may mean we are not cut out for something, but it might also be evidence of growth. Too often, we quit too soon.

 • Progress comes from consistent action, not perfect plans.

Resources Mentioned

Beyond Belief: The Science-Backed Way to Stop Limiting Yourself and Achieve Breakthrough Results • (
Amazon • , 
Bookshop • )* by Nir Eyal.

Interview Notes

Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).

Related Episodes

How to Win the Long Game When the Short-Term Seems Bleak, with Dorie Clark • (episode 550)

How to Quit Bad Stuff Faster, with Annie Duke • (episode 607)

How to Better Manage Your Emotions, with Ethan Kross • (episode 719)

Discover More

Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

773: How to Align Your Motivation, with Nir Eyal

Academy alum Bill Mayo joins Dave to share how he improved his listening skills — both at work and at home.

Applications to the Coaching for Leaders Academy are open until Friday, March 20th. Visit the Coaching for Leaders Academy page to apply.

How to Get Better at Listening, with Bill Mayo

Rebecca Hinds: Your Best Meeting Ever

Rebecca Hinds is a leading expert on organizational behavior and the future of work. She founded and led the Work Innovation Lab at Asana and the Work AI Institute at Glean, where she partners with leading experts to help organizations transform their work with AI. She is the author of Your Best Meeting Ever: 7 Principles for Designing Meetings That Get Things Done (Amazon, Bookshop)*.

Considering the amount of time we all spend in meetings, it’s odd that most organizations do so little to measure meeting results. If that’s sounding familiar, this conversation between Rebecca and me will show you exactly how to get started.

Key Points

 • Metrics that only measure the costs of meetings (dollars and time) can be useful, but rarely capture the full picture.

 • Use Return on Time Invested (ROTI) anonymously to survey attendees to determine if a meeting was a good use of time. Also ask, “What would it take for you to improve your rating by one point?”

 • Survey sparingly to avoid survey fatigue. Bringing in a survey 10% of the time is a benchmark to start from.

 • If the amount of time in meetings vastly exceeds 10 hours a week, there’s likely an opportunity to scale back or redefine the work before or after meetings to use time better.

 • Equal speaking time in meetings is a key indicator of team performance. Be transparent with employees about any technology you use to capture data.

 • Punctuality and attendance rate are indicators of how valued meetings are for people.

Resources Mentioned

Your Best Meeting Ever: 7 Principles for Designing Meetings That Get Things Done • by Rebecca Hinds (
Amazon • , 
Bookshop • )*

Interview Notes

Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).

Related Episodes

How to Lead Meetings That Get Results, with Mamie Kanfer Stewart • (episode 358)

Moving Towards Meetings of Significance, with Seth Godin • (episode 632)

How to Lead Engaging Meetings, with Jess Britt • (episode 721)

Discover More

Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

772: How to Measure Your Meeting’s Success, with Rebecca Hinds

Lily Zheng, Fixing Fairness

Lily Zheng is a sought-after speaker, strategist, and organizational consultant who specializes in hands-on systemic change to turn positive intentions into positive outcomes for workplaces and everyone in them. A dedicated changemaker and advocate, Lily has had their work published in the Harvard Business Review, New York Times, and NPR. They are the author of Fixing Fairness: 4 Tenets to Transform Diversity Backlash into Progress for All (Amazon, Bookshop)*.

When it comes to fairness in the workplace, our society is quick to zero in on what divides us. Yet, there is broad agreement across all demographics on many key principles. In this conversation, Lily and I explore how leaders can influence the system to better work for everyone.

Key Points

 • Many of us assume that fewer people support the value of diversity than actually do. When asked, 82% of people support pro-diversity statements.

 • The most popular/traditional approaches to fixing fairness in the workplace tend to be the least effective.

 • Our tendency is to focus on the behavior of individuals, when in fact organizational systems have the most significant impact on fairness.

 • When considering a fairness initiative or intervention, begin with the practice of understanding and storytelling, just like many change initiatives.

 • Resist the temptation to check boxes with “quick fixes” such as simply bringing in a speaker or hosting a one-time event. This rarely helps in any sustainable way and sometimes worsens existing dynamics.

 • If you have a seat at the leadership table, make the case for thoughtful design and involvement of stakeholders at all points in the process, just as many effective organizations do on any strategic change initiative.

Resources Mentioned

Fixing Fairness: 4 Tenets to Transform Diversity Backlash into Progress for All • by Lily Zheng (
Amazon • , 
Bookshop • )*

Interview Notes

Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).

Related Episodes

Supporting Return to Work After Maternity Leave, with Danna Greenberg • (episode 639)

The Power of Unlearning Silence, with Elaine Lin Hering • (episode 678)

How to Lead a Meaningful Cultural Shift, with David Hutchens • (episode 755)

Discover More

Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

771: Fixing Fairness in the Workplace, with Lily Zheng

Phil Gilbert: Irresistible Change

Phil Gilbert is best known for leading IBM’s 21st-century transformation as their General Manager of Design. The transformation became the subject of a Harvard Business School case study, the documentary film The Loop, and feature articles in the New York Times and Fortune Magazine. He is the author of Irresistible Change: A Blueprint for Earning Buy-In and Breakout Success (Amazon, Bookshop)*.

We’ve all been through mandated change initiatives more times than we can count. But what if change wasn’t a mandate, but an offer – or even an invitation? In this conversation, Phil and I explore how to make change irresistible.

Key Points

 • Change should be regarded as a high-value-add product.

 • Don’t mandate change. Offer change.

 • Your goal is sustained cultural adoption, not improving immediate competency.

 • Start small, but cover all your bases on a reduced scale. Make a great cupcake instead of a mediocre wedding cake.

 • People buy brands, not products. Branding change allows you to define the values and message that goes with it.

Resources Mentioned

Irresistible Change: A Blueprint for Earning Buy-In and Breakout Success • by Phil Gilbert (
Amazon • , 
Bookshop • )*

Interview Notes

Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).

Related Episodes

Engaging People Through Change, with Cassandra Worthy • (episode 571)

Where Senior Leaders Can Better Support Middle Managers, with Emily Field • (episode 650)

How to Lead Organizational Change, with Michael Bungay Stanier • (episode 740)

Discover More

Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

770: How to Make Change Irresistible, with Phil Gilbert

Charles Duhigg: Supercommunicators

Charles Duhigg is a Pulitzer Prize–winning investigative journalist and the author of The Power of Habit and Smarter Faster Better. He is a winner of the National Academies of Sciences, National Journalism, and George Polk awards. He writes for The New Yorker and other publications and is the author of Supercommunicators: How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection (Amazon, Bookshop)*.

A lot of us grew up in a world where most of our relationships started in person. That means many of us are beautifully equipped for a world that no longer exists. In this conversation, Charles and I discuss how to get better at connecting in a remote-first world.

Key Points

 • When the telephone first became popular, people had to learn how to communicate with it. We’re at a similar inflection point with digital communication.

 • We all have three kinds of conversations: (1) What’s this really about? (practical/decision-making), (2) How do we feel? (emotional), and (3) Who are we? (identity).

 • Many of us tend to default to practical/decision-making conversations online and miss conversations about emotion and identity.

 • Ask questions that invite an emotional or identity response. Instead of, “Where do you live?” consider a shift like, “What do you love about where you live?”

 • Notice when people bring elements into a conversation that aren’t related to the topic. These clues, especially online, can point to entry points for emotional connection.

 • Supercommunicators pay just a bit more attention to how people communicate than the rest of us. A slight shift can make a big difference.

Resources Mentioned

Supercommunicators: How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection • by Charles Duhigg (
Amazon • , 
Bookshop • )*

Interview Notes

Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).

Related Episodes

The Way to Get People Talking, with Andrew Warner • (episode 560)

How to Lead Engaging Meetings, with Jess Britt • (episode 721)

How to Show Up Authentically in Tough Situations, with Andrew Brodsky • (episode 727)

Discover More

Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

769: How to Connect Better with Remote Colleagues, with Charles Duhigg

JP Elliott: Future of HR

JP Elliott has decades of experience as a Talent and HR executive at companies like DICK’S Sporting Goods, McAfee, and Lenovo. He’s seen the challenges HR professionals face in growing their careers and increasing their impact. He is the host of the Future of HR podcast and on a mission to help HR professionals increase their business impact and accelerate their careers.

Leadership looks a little different if you head up a support role: human resources, IT, marketing, or finance. Often, we hear the term “business partner” used to describe what these leaders should be aiming for. In this conversation, JP and I explore how to shift from simply a “business partner” to a value creator.

Key Points

 • You’re not just an HR leader. You’re a business leader with HR expertise.

 • Think like a CEO even if you’re in HR. Do this to be moving beyond an execution-only mindset.

 • Design talent strategies based on the future, not on the past.

 • Build systems that reward outcomes, not bureaucracy.

 • Build talent strategies that differentiate your business.

 • Forecast leadership needs 3-5 years out and build a pipeline for critical roles.

Four questions that CEOs are asking:

 1. Are we focused on the right strategic imperatives?

 2. Are we operating effectively and efficiently?

 3. Are we optimizing our business model to create competitive advantage?

 4. Do we have a plan for sustainable and profitable growth?

Resources Mentioned

Future of HR podcast • by JP Elliott

Interview Notes

Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).

Related Episodes

How to Start Managing Up, with Tom Henschel • (episode 433)

How to Solve the Toughest Problems, with Wendy Smith • (episode 612)

The Mindset to Help Your Organization Grow, with Tiffani Bova • (episode 633)

Discover More

Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

768: Evolving from Business Partner to Value Creator, with JP Elliott

Graham Allcott: KIND

Graham Allcott is an author, speaker, entrepreneur, and the founder of Think Productive, a leading provider of training and consultancy. He is the author of multiple books, including the bestseller How to Be a Productivity Ninja and his latest book, KIND: The Quiet Power of Kindness at Work (Amazon, Bookshop)*.

“Nice” means telling people what they want to hear. “Kind” means telling them what they need to hear. The best leaders are kind. In this conversation, Graham and I explore how we can do a better job of following through.

Key Points

 • “Nice” means telling people what they want to hear, whereas “kind” means telling them what they need to hear.

 • Kindness is both concern for others and concern for self. Just like with salted caramel, it’s best with the right balance.

 • Leaders often do better articulating vision and values than they do with getting clear on expectations of value each person should provide.

 • Being clear is an act of kindness in itself because it drives psychological safety.

 • Use a personal mantra as a concise and powerful way to consistently remind people about what’s most important.

 • Invite others to “give the last 20%” in feedback to uncover areas where clarity would help.

Resources Mentioned

KIND: The Quiet Power of Kindness at Work • by Graham Allcott (
Amazon • , 
Bookshop • )*

Rev Up for the Week • (Graham’s newsletter)

Interview Notes

Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).

Related Episodes

Five Steps to Hold People Accountable, with Jonathan Raymond • (episode 306)

How to Build Psychological Safety, with Amy Edmondson • (episode 404)

How to Give Feedback, with Russ Laraway • (episode 583)

Discover More

Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

767: Being Nice May Not Be Kind, with Graham Allcott

Ruth Gotian: Networking in the Age of AI

Ruth Gotian is the former Chief Learning Officer and Associate Professor of Education in Anaesthesiology at Weill Cornell Medicine. Thinkers50 has ranked her the #1 emerging management thinker in the world, and she’s a top LinkedIn voice in mentoring. She’s the author of The Success Factor and, with Andy Lopata, The Financial Times Guide to Mentoring.

Most of us recognize the value of building a better network, but we also know the time and dedication it takes. In this conversation, Ruth and I explore how we can use AI tools to do some of the administrative legwork so that we can spend more time on the real relationship-building.

Key Points

 • McKinsey reports that since the pandemic, most people’s networks have shrunk or stalled.

 • Consider the 90/9/1 rule: 90% of people lurk in online communities, 9% interact somewhat regularly, 1% post and lead the conversation.

 • Use AI to enhance, not replace, your communications. Invite AI to do the administrative legwork (i.e. brainstorming, proofreading) so you focus on the human aspects.

 • Ask AI to analyze speaker and attendee lists in advance at conferences in the context of your goals.

 • Consider being the person that puts together an in-person dinner or gathering at a conference. Use AI to help you prep questions and discover the best people to invite.

 • Ask AI to help complete your LinkedIn profile. An All-Star LinkedIn profile makes it substantially more likely that you’ll get surfaced to others.

Resources Mentioned

Networking in the Age of AI • by Ruth Gotian

Related Episodes

How to Grow Your Professional Network, with Tom Henschel • * (episode 279)

How to Build a Network While Still Doing Everything Else, with Ruth Gotian • * (episode 591)

The Key Elements of a Powerful Personal Brand, with Goldie Chan • * (episode 757)

Discover More

Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

773: How to Align Your Motivation, with Nir Eyal

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