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YMH Studios

Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura are comedians who are also married. They are the Mommies and they welcome you to join them. Dental updates! Dudes! Stories! Wiping!

Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura

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This week on Your Mom's House Podcast, Tom and Tina are back together and in the spirit of the season, connect with legendary cool guy, Mr. "We Up Outta Here" himself, Tony Johns! Before getting on the phone with Tony, we open the show with a banger track to honor the passing of Chuck Woolery. Tom and Christina also reminisce on some of the fun clips he's contributed to in past YMH episodes. They next open the show with a classic Tony Johns clip before Tom addresses some firings from last week and some new faces in the booth. Christine pivots the conversation to discuss Tom's nose and theories on his true heritage. Tom then plays a clip from a Congressional hearing about some shady practices of major American airlines. The two also check out a Tony Valli clip, check out some art featuring Tom as famous serial killers, watch a very informative Will Blunderfield clip, and then give Tony Johns a call to see what he's up to. There are also a bunch of TikTok's, a new Pazsitzky Effect, and so much more! WOOOOOO WE UP OUTTA HERE!

Your Mom’s House Ep. 789

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Checking In With Cool Guy Tony Johns | YMH Ep. 789

Jeff's new special Last Cowboy In LA is out right now on youtube! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lwRz8rvGizI&t=2s

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Ho Ho Ho, chomos! It's almost Christmas and Tim y Tina are already into the holiday spirit this week on Your Mom's House Podcast. Tom opens the show with some deserving apologies from the Booth Boys, who are back with some handwritten letters expressing their regret from laughing at his life or death moment. Tom also brings up a clip from an old YMH episode showing how concerned he was when Christina was choking on the show and he didn't laugh or mock her. They next open the show with a clip of a pro fisherman with a really cool last name. The Main Mommies also share some huge news about Charo, talk about UHC CEO shooter Luigi Mangione's thirst traps, share their thoughts on American Nightmare, and react to some disappointing news about Tony Johns.

Tom and Christina are then joined by the last cowboy in LA, Jeff Dye! He's got a new special out and he's got a lot of thoughts on big city girls in boots and dresses. The mommies talk to him about taboo jokes, offensive last names, politicians on podcasts, Trumps weight loss, dumb girls stuff, then they check out some Horrible or Hilarious clips, and some of Christina's curations! Merry Chrysler to all, happy holidays to some, don't forget your Uvers, and to all a good night!

Your Mom’s House Ep. 790

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Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790

Jeezy is short for Jizzles - that's a little known fact we made up. As the new year gets rolling we want you to stay POSITIVE. We encourage you to reaffirm positive thoughts about yourself with yourself. You're smart! You're good! You listen to the best podcast! You wear your jeans super high! You idn't greezy! We get to the bottom of the Dog's T**S expression and it really is something else, mate! THEO joins us on the show to share his last few days and also to talk about his favorite vice (not healthy). Who better to get your year rolling than the one and only TOP DOG. He guides you on your brown pathway and gives insight on more than just wiping (sorry Puerto Ricans). This ep is the jeans machine. Sharkeisha, YES!
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185-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

This episode is very CHILDISH in the way that we make fun of other living people. We hope you are okay with that. Former NBA player and current mentally retarded person, Dennis Rodman is, well, definitely not the best at speaking outloud. He's in North Korea and he is apparently mumbling his way back. Why are there no more PSA's? Did we solve everything for kids and now they no longer need warnings? Lets bring them back and make them lamer than ever. Fire, kid touchers and drugs are still around so how about we be adults again and start making bad commericals about them for the children, yo. We learned that Kim Jong-Un is a huge fan of the show, but we are not so sure about going over there to do a live show. Something about that guy (City Connection). The mommies are eating healthy and the brown is falling out of us! You will enjoy this show or you will spend the next 15 years in our fart labor camp. 
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186-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

Great news! Dennis Rodman isn't retarded. That is, of course, according to Dennis Rodman. He's just really, really drunk and he wishes he had been alive many years ago, to befriend Hitler, the often-lambasted and widely "misunderstood" former German leader. But we've got to be honest. We're not really buying the drunk thing. Drunks, well, sound different - like Orson Welles! MUAAAAHAAAHHHHHHH, the French Champagne, blllllahhhhhhh! Stevie Wonder is a world treasure. He should maybe cut his braids. All dudes who play ball should cut their dreads. ALL. Some of our favorite artists MUST be horrible people, but not you, Stevie. We play some old Top Dog and Charo clips just because we love you. 
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187-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

HONESTLY, we feel like you're going to leave this episode like, "Whoa, I'm proud of myself." Thanks to you, the dedicated little mommy that could, we have managed to land an all-time favorite and MY OH MY did we have fun. Adult superstar, Juelz Ventura is as laid back and fun as she is sexy and full of drool (we'll let her explain). We get to ask everything we've ever wanted to ask to someone who does the dirty on camera and we get answers that you won't be able to wrap your loose vagina around. Juelz is game for anything and shares the inside scoop that we've been yearning for. Oh yeah, when we finally get to the clip that you all love, well, it's magic. This episode has heart, laughs, boobs and honestly, what else could you want? 
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Juelz Ventura-188-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

Seems like it's pretty much settled - TOMMY IS THE MAIN MOMMY. Episode 19 is revisited and the evidence is CLEAR. Christina is filing appeals, but we doubt there's a judge in the land that will grant her another hearing. We debate this at length and allow you to decide. You went CRAZY over the appearance of Juelz Ventura on episode 188 and we celebrate the triumph. Yes, we're proud of ourselves. What's scarier than a man dressed as a female DOLL? We vote nothing. It is absolutely terrifying. A new show is coming out about it and we are mortified and eager to watch it. Homeless people singing the hits is something that we hope takes off! They really can't sing, but we want it to never end. DENIM NEVER ENDS.
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189-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

Every animal can get diarrhea, but why did that animal get that loose brown? Let's talk about it. Top Dog and Charo get a surprise phone call about Tom's sex education class memory. Was there a VERY out-of-line teacher? Hmmmmm. Did Top Dog make big BROWN on his latest cruise? We finished Breaking Bad Farts and we tip our collective hat to all the participants. It's a masterpiece and we miss it already. Pop music is for the stupid by the slightly less stupid. This isn't an attempt to be controversial. We actually have proof. If English is your first language and you make Dennis Rodman sound like Prince William what would be your next move? These JEAN were made for talking (to your mom). 
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190-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

If you're gay I challenge you to up your game. Listen to the gayest man that has ever lived and see if you can top him, if even, for a moment. When ladies OR guys can't control the joy they feel when they taste man yogurt in their mouth are you buying it? We kind of disagree on this point. I mean clearly people LOVE it. The drunkest man ever is revisited and it's undeniable - he's a huge fan of our show. You know what I'm sayin, you gotta gun yoself, you know I'm sayin? Yes, sir, we do. Do we have an impromptu WOULD YOU RATHER that is so awful you might not answer? Yup. Nancy Grace is a lying turd, but maybe pot does make you kill??? David Lee Roth and Flocka rock out for you. 
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191-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

It's not bad to consider that if you're not good at something then you should quit! And if you don't quit then hopefully Eric Kelly will appear at the thing you're not good at and make fun of you. On camera. Shout out to all the little mommies that are down for the git down! We give you a proper salute. The live show was the Jimmy Jam and you the man, man. Sometimes when people who love each other eat together, they also end up blowing burp wind on each other (or just one way). The C-word is a fun word. Stop being so sensitive, you stupid C-word. We wear are JEANS so high for YOU!!!
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192-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

The thing about having your balls shrink is ultimately, it's the best thing that can happen. It makes your salami look so much bigger and who doesn't want that.
Ze Zim Xir yim. Those are all preferred pronouns of severely mentally ill people, some of whom you may know. Make sure whenever you meet someone you open with, "Hey, what's your pronoun?"
Plus, did Tom lose a bet and get his thumbs burned by cigs? Is the poop pile real? We work on getting you ANSWERS.
AND #bertisfat is finally something you can own - get the new shirt and show the world you are on "TEAM TOM."
 
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352-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

352-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

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