88. Conflict Avoidance Leads to Conflict: How Skilled Negotiators Build Lasting Peace // Stan Christensen

What does negotiation have to do with peacemaking? Turns out, A LOT. Stan Christensen has spent decades negotiating in over 75 countries — between governments, ethnic groups, and armed factions — and he joins Wiser World to bring that hard-won wisdom down to earth. We talk about why conflict avoidance creates more conflict, how trust is built and broken, what skilled negotiators do differently, and why Stan believes there is no such thing as an intractable conflict. This one will change how you see every difficult conversation in your life.

Check out Stan's podcast "All Things Negotiation" to learn more about negotiation.

Transcript for this episode.

TIMESTAMPS

00:00 – Introduction & Stan's background

02:57 – What is negotiation, really?

04:10 – How negotiation and peacemaking differ

05:33 – Inside peace negotiations: what actually happens in the room

06:59 – What separates skilled negotiators from unskilled ones

09:27 – "Conflict avoidance leads to conflict"

10:20 – The key skills: curiosity, inquiry, and the orange story

14:41 – How trust is built (and broken)

17:32 – Why negotiation is never really a one-time thing

20:37 – How culture shapes negotiation (Colombia & France stories)

32:27 – The power of questioning your own assumptions

35:52 – There is no such thing as an intractable conflict

37:41 – The Peru-Ecuador story: finding common ground

40:50 – A seven-element framework for preparing to negotiate

44:56 – Reframing conflict as "creative problem solving"

48:41 – Negotiating with someone who has more power than you

53:04 – The role of emotion in conflict resolution

55:35 – "Go to the balcony": how to avoid getting emotionally hijacked

59:19 – Why we all under-apologize — and why it matters

1:02:25 – Apology at the macro level: why politicians won't do it

1:05:35 – What gives Stan hope

1:07:21 – Stan's one takeaway for listeners

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