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Headgum & Nicole Byer

Love and dating can be messy—so let’s talk about it! On this multi-award-winning podcast, comedian Nicole Byer explores romantic highs, lows, and all the juicy stuff in between, alongside comedians, experts, and sometimes an ex or two. New episodes every Friday!

Why Won't You Date Me? with Nicole Byer

Drag queen icon Lushious Massacr joins Nicole to share how she fell in love last night with a man she met on Facebook Dating, getting charmed by a panty sniffer, and the reason she’s banned from Hinge and Tinder. She also breaks down how tapping into your feminine force is a superpower used to get exactly what you want.

Lushious shares all of the terrible times men she's hooked up with who have tried to rob her, and how she's since learned to "trade proof" her home. Plus, Luscious explains her theory on why women pegging their men could lead to world peace, and shares advice on how to be proactive in order to create romance and charm in your everyday life.

Watch Lushious's amazing YouTube show - DRAGVESTIGATIONS.

Watch this episode on our YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/@WhyWontYouDateMePodcast

Support this podcast and get discounts by checking out our sponsors:

NOCD: If you're struggling with OCD or unrelenting intrusive thoughts, NOCD can help. Book a free 15 minute call to get started: learn.nocd.com/DATEME

Wayfair: Get organized, refreshed, and back on track this new year for WAY less. Head to Wayfair.com right now to shop all things home.

Honeylove: The best bras and shapewear on the market. Save 20% Off Honeylove by going to honeylove.com/DATEME! #honeylovepod

Follow:

All Links: linktr.ee/whywontyoudateme

Tour Dates: linktr.ee/nicolebyerwastaken

YouTube: @WhyWontYouDateMePodcast

TikTok: @whywontyoudatemepod 

Instagram: @nicolebyer

X: @nicolebyer

Nicole's book, #VERYFAT #VERYBRAVE: indiebound.org/book/9781524850746

This is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Why Won't You Date Me? via Gumball.fm.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Getting Robbed by Hookups (w/ Lushious Massacr)

Drag queen icon Ginger Minj (Drag Race All Stars winner S10) joins Nicole to discuss the backlash she’s faced since winning the crown and addresses the "lying" accusations swirling around her - and why she’s done ignoring the drama. She opens up about losing 200 lbs this year, dealing with fans who still have nasty things to say about her body, and shares what it was like getting diagnosed with autism during her psychological review for All Stars.

Plus, the wild details about her love life. Ginger talks about escaping a toxic 11-year relationship and finding happiness in a polyamorous throuple. She breaks down what it’s like living in a "Full House" situation with her husband, her boyfriend, her mom, her sister, and her nephew.

Check out Ginger's upcoming movie, Stop! That! Train! releasing later this year.

Watch this episode on our YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/@WhyWontYouDateMePodcast

Support this podcast and get discounts by checking out our sponsors:

HelloFresh: Go to HelloFresh.com/dateme10fm to Get 10 free meals + a FREE Zwilling Knife (a $144.99 value) on your third box. *Offer valid while supplies last. Free meals applied as discount on first box, new subscribers only, varies by plan.

Squarespace: Head to squarespace.com/DATEME to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code DATEME.

Equip: Learn more about Equip’s virtual eating disorder treatment at equip.health/dateme

Follow:

All Links: linktr.ee/whywontyoudateme

Tour Dates: linktr.ee/nicolebyerwastaken

YouTube: @WhyWontYouDateMePodcast

TikTok: @whywontyoudatemepod 

Instagram: @nicolebyer

X: @nicolebyer

Nicole's book, #VERYFAT #VERYBRAVE: indiebound.org/book/9781524850746

This is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Why Won't You Date Me? via Gumball.fm.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Addressing the Lies & Backlash (w/ Ginger Minj)

Emmy Award-winning interior designer Bobby Berk (Queer Eye, Junk or Jackpot?) joins Nicole to share the secrets of success behind his 22-year relationship. He discusses meeting his husband on Gay.com, his trick to manipulate a partner into having better taste, and the wild reason why everyone was throwing up during his marriage proposal. Plus, he explains why he refuses to give gifts or celebrate Valentine's Day, and why giving in to those societal pressures is actually the quickest way to ruin a relationship.

Watch Junk or Jackpot? Premiering today on HGTV, streaming on HBO Max.

Watch this episode on our YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/@WhyWontYouDateMePodcast

Support this podcast and get discounts by checking out our sponsors:

Squarespace: Head to squarespace.com/DATEME to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code DATEME.

NOCD: If you're struggling with OCD or unrelenting intrusive thoughts, NOCD can help. Book a free 15 minute call to get started: https://learn.nocd.com/DATEME.

Wayfair: Every Style, Every Home.

Follow:

All Links: linktr.ee/whywontyoudateme

Tour Dates: linktr.ee/nicolebyerwastaken

YouTube: @WhyWontYouDateMePodcast

TikTok: @whywontyoudatemepod 

Instagram: @nicolebyer

X: @nicolebyer

Nicole's book, #VERYFAT #VERYBRAVE: indiebound.org/book/9781524850746

This is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Why Won't You Date Me? via Gumball.fm.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

How to Trick your Partner Into Better Taste (w/ Bobby Berk)

Happy holidays! You’re getting an xxxtra special xxxtra long holiday episode with Santa Claus himself (Mike Mitchell - Doughboys podcast, Twisted Metal). He joins Elf Nicole to complain about why Santas are getting too hot and buff, and Nicole reveals the time she was fired for being too jolly.

They talk about Mitch’s journey with long COVID, the struggle of losing libido from medications, and their shared experiences losing weight. Has it helped their sexual health? Plus, Mitch shares a truly wild dating story where his date asked someone else to hook up with her. They discuss why the holidays are secretly a very horny time, debate what to do if your partner cooks a terrible festive meal, and take a moment to vent about the current state of streamers and Hollywood.

Watch this episode on our YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/@WhyWontYouDateMePodcast

Check out Nicole's review of Sizzler on the Doughboys podcast: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tvg7enGnuOU&list=PL6J5Hwj-9uXlVJHKkALbQNpdEZL3kAAbq

Support this podcast and get discounts by checking out our sponsors:

Aura Frame: Exclusive $35 off Carver Mat at https://on.auraframes.com/DATEME. Promo Code DATEME

NOCD: If you're struggling with OCD or unrelenting intrusive thoughts, NOCD can help. Book a free 15 minute call to get started: https://learn.nocd.com/DATEME.

Cash App: Download Cash App Today: https://capl.onelink.me/vFut/3v6r90n6 #CashAppPod Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. See terms and conditions at cash.app/legal/us/en-us/card-agreement. Promotions provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visit cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures.

Follow:

All Links: linktr.ee/whywontyoudateme

Tour Dates: linktr.ee/nicolebyerwastaken

YouTube: @WhyWontYouDateMePodcast

TikTok: @whywontyoudatemepod 

Instagram: @nicolebyer

X: @nicolebyer

Nicole's book, #VERYFAT #VERYBRAVE: indiebound.org/book/9781524850746

This is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Why Won't You Date Me? via Gumball.fm.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

A Cathartic Year End Rant (w/ Mike Mitchell)

Drag Race royalty Latrice Royale and her husband Christopher Hamblin join Nicole to discuss the wild story of how he went from a fan organizing a messy meet-and-greet to Latrice’s husband. They get real about what it's like to work and be married together, open up about the reception of their interracial marriage, and shut down the wild accusations they've received about their relationship.

Latrice also reveals that Drag Race filming is so strict she actually had "more freedom in jail," and shares why she went from never wanting to get married to realizing she needed it in her life. Plus, the couple finally sets the record straight on the famous Jasmine Masters "Pop the corn" quote - complete with receipts drawn by Manila Luzon. #JusticeforJasmine

See Latrice and Christopher on tour with Why It Gotta Be White Christmas?! Get tickets at latriceroyale.com/schedule.

Watch this episode on our YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/@WhyWontYouDateMePodcast

Support this podcast and get discounts by checking out our sponsors:

Aura Frame: Exclusive $35 off Carver Mat at https://on.auraframes.com/DATEME. Promo Code DATEME

SquareSpace: Head to squarespace.com/DATEME to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code DATEME.

Planned Parenthood: Donate to support Planned Parenthood now at PlannedParenthood.org/defend.

Follow:

All Links: linktr.ee/whywontyoudateme

Tour Dates: linktr.ee/nicolebyerwastaken

YouTube: @WhyWontYouDateMePodcast

TikTok: @whywontyoudatemepod 

Instagram: @nicolebyer

X: @nicolebyer

Nicole's book, #VERYFAT #VERYBRAVE: indiebound.org/book/9781524850746

This is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Why Won't You Date Me? via Gumball.fm.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Defending Our Marriage (w/ Latrice Royale & Christopher Hamblin)

Drag Race winner Yvie Oddly (season 11) and co-host Ryan Mitchell (HIGHKEY!) join Nicole to overshare.

Yvie discusses her reaction to Ariana Grande naming her a favorite, her thoughts on the internet's response to her season of Drag Race, the details of her open relationship, and getting stretched out by a didgeridoo. Ryan shares his history of dating terrible men, getting cheated on 7 times, and the time he followed a stranger to a hotel for a hookup that could’ve been a murder. They all discuss the craziest things a hookup has said while they were inside you, the hottest kind of dirty talk, and whether the Simpsons are Black. We had a wild time. Tune in!

For more Yvie and Ryan, check out their podcast, HIGHKEY! Available on YouTube as well.

Watch this episode on our YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/@WhyWontYouDateMePodcast

Support this podcast and get discounts by checking out our sponsors:

Aura Frame: Exclusive $35 off Carver Mat at https://on.auraframes.com/DATEME. Promo Code DATEME

Quince: Find gifts so good you'll want to keep them with Quince. Go to Quince.com/dateme for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too.

Planned Parenthood: Donate to support Planned Parenthood now at PlannedParenthood.org/Defend

Follow:

All Links: linktr.ee/whywontyoudateme

Tour Dates: linktr.ee/nicolebyerwastaken

YouTube: @WhyWontYouDateMePodcast

TikTok: @whywontyoudatemepod 

Instagram: @nicolebyer

X: @nicolebyer

Nicole's book, #VERYFAT #VERYBRAVE: indiebound.org/book/9781524850746

This is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Why Won't You Date Me? via Gumball.fm.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Oversharing (w/ Yvie Oddly & Ryan Mitchell)

When Nava Kavelin (host of Podcrushed) lost weight at 16, the shift in how the world treated her was immediate and jarring. She went from being invisible to having 10 boys aggressively pursuing her. She joins Nicole to unpack the complicated resentment of suddenly becoming "visible" to people who previously looked right through you.

They get into why reciprocity is the bare minimum for a good relationship, the misery of dating someone long-term who won't commit, and how soap operas like Passions warped their brains into thinking it’s okay to chase people who don't like you. Nava also shares the time she downplayed her Baha'i faith for a Southern Baptist boy who turned out to only be interested in converting her.

Plus, the shocking research she uncovered at the UN about how media impacts girls of color - they are sexualized as young as 3 years old, and unchecked access to porn is normalizing violence for teenagers.

Meanwhile, Nicole attempts to connect with the youths, and recounts the wild, slightly racist routine she saw at Criss Angel's Las Vegas show.

Heads up: This episode contains spoilers to Netflix's You.

Check out Nava's new book, Crushmore at simonandschuster.com/books/Crushmore/Penn-Badgley/9781668077993

Watch this episode on our YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/@WhyWontYouDateMePodcast

Support this podcast and get discounts by checking out our sponsor:

Squarespace: Head to squarespace.com/DATEME to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code DATEME.

Follow:

All Links: linktr.ee/whywontyoudateme

Tour Dates: linktr.ee/nicolebyerwastaken

YouTube: @WhyWontYouDateMePodcast

TikTok: @whywontyoudatemepod 

Instagram: @nicolebyer

X: @nicolebyer

Nicole's book, #VERYFAT #VERYBRAVE: indiebound.org/book/9781524850746

This is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Why Won't You Date Me? via Gumball.fm.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The Dark Reality of 'Skinny Privilege' (w/ Nava Kavelin)

What happens when a porn actress comes after your drag name? Lexi Love (RuPaul's Drag Race S17) joins Nicole to talk through the legal fight she never expected to be in and what it is costing her to protect the career she's built. She opens up about the panic attacks she had while filming her season of Drag Race and shares the mistreatment she experienced in rehab, which became a traumatic part of her recovery journey. Plus, Lexi also talks about her past life teaching anti money laundering to bankers, her best dates, and the night she was left abandoned with a bill she couldn’t pay.

Watch this episode on our YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/@WhyWontYouDateMePodcast

Support Lexi Love's legal battle at gofundme.com/f/the-real-lexi-love-fund.

See Lexi Love on tour with A Drag Queen Christmas. Get tickets at dragfans.com.

Support this podcast and get discounts by checking out our sponsors:

Cash App: Download Cash App Today: https://capl.onelink.me/vFut/3v6r90n6 #CashAppPod. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. See terms and conditions at https://cash.app/legal/us/en-us/card-agreement. Discounts and promotions provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visit http://cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures.

Wayfair: Wayfair. Every Style, Every Home.

Follow:

All Links: linktr.ee/whywontyoudateme

Tour Dates: linktr.ee/nicolebyerwastaken

YouTube: @WhyWontYouDateMePodcast

TikTok: @whywontyoudatemepod 

Instagram: @nicolebyer

X: @nicolebyer

Nicole's book, #VERYFAT #VERYBRAVE: indiebound.org/book/9781524850746

This is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Why Won't You Date Me? via Gumball.fm.

Why Won't You Date Me? with Nicole Byer is produced by Mars. Guest research by Lyndsey Kempf. Executive producer is Anya Kanevskaya. VP of content is Kaiti Moos. Theme song arranged by Mike Comite. 

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Fraud & Legal Battles (w/ Lexi Love)

In 2012, comedian Tig Notaro was diagnosed with invasive cancer, got pneumonia, contracted C. diff, went through a breakup, and then lost her mother - all within four months. Tig joins Nicole to talk about how surviving that period changed her outlook on life, how she rebuilt, and how an ironic “sweet dreams” text turned into the most adorable relationship with her wife Stephanie. They talk about how commitment ended up giving Tig a sense of freedom, finding comedy in the darkest moments in life, raising twins, and her new documentary Come See Me in the Good Light.

Check out Tig's new film, Come See Me in the Good Light, on Apple TV+. And listen to her podcast, Handsome.

Watch this episode on our YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/@WhyWontYouDateMePodcast

Support this podcast and get discounts by checking out our sponsors:

Uncommon Goods: To get 15% off your unique gifts this year, go to uncommongoods.com/dateme.

Jones Road Beauty: Use code DATEME at jonesroadbeauty.com to get a Free Cool Gloss with your first purchase! These sell out fast so get them while they last! 

Quince: Step into the holiday season with layers made to feel good, look polished, and last— from Quince. Perfect for gifting or keeping for yourself. Go to Quince.com/dateme for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too.

Squarespace: Head to squarespace.com/DATEME to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code DATEME.

Betterhelp: Visit Betterhelp.com/DATEME today to get 10% off your first month.

Follow:

All Links: linktr.ee/whywontyoudateme

Tour Dates: linktr.ee/nicolebyerwastaken

YouTube: @WhyWontYouDateMePodcast

TikTok: @whywontyoudatemepod 

Instagram: @nicolebyer

X: @nicolebyer

Nicole's book, #VERYFAT #VERYBRAVE: indiebound.org/book/9781524850746

This is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Why Won't You Date Me? via Gumball.fm.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Losing Everything (w/ Tig Notaro)

Comedian and friend Oscar Montoya (Dropout TV, Drag Her) is back for another kiki. They talk about the best slutty Halloween costumes, the casual racism in early-2000s fashion, recounts stories of wild audience members, dating someone as a "bit", and Nicole shares the time she officiated a wedding proposal while soaked in toilet water. It's a nice fun time.

See the Bad Drag Race finale in LA Nov 15th, co-hosted by Nicole, Oscar, and Mano. Get tickets here.

Watch this episode on our YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/@WhyWontYouDateMePodcast

Support this podcast and get discounts by checking out our sponsor:

Uncommon Goods: To get 15% off your unique gifts this year, go to https://uncommongoods.com/dateme.

Follow:

All Links: linktr.ee/whywontyoudateme

Tour Dates: linktr.ee/nicolebyerwastaken

YouTube: @WhyWontYouDateMePodcast

TikTok: @whywontyoudatemepod 

Instagram: @nicolebyer

X: @nicolebyer

Nicole's book, #VERYFAT #VERYBRAVE: indiebound.org/book/9781524850746

This is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Why Won't You Date Me? via Gumball.fm.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Kiki-ing (w/ Oscar Montoya)

It’s an extra special holiday treat! Nicole Byer is joined by her friend, comedian, and actor Ben Schwartz to talk about the true love of her life — Sonic the Hedgehog. Nicole opens up to Ben about her deep, emotional connection to Sonic and why it’s not just a bit. Ben shares the unexpected journey of landing the role, the fan backlash to the original 'Ugly Sonic' design, and debunks some of the internet’s wildest Sonic fan theories. Nicole makes her formal pitch for how she’d like to join the Sonic universe herself. Plus, special guest call-in appearances with the voice of Tails, Colleen O'Shaughnessey, and Sonic artist and co-producer, Tyson Hesse. You don't want to miss this!

WATCH this episode on YouTube at https://youtu.be/vveFneSDN4k

See Sonic The Hedgehog 3 in theatres today!

Write to Nicole! Send your dirty messages to whywontyoudatemepodcast@gmail.com with the subject line "Dirty Message" and Nicole may read it in a future episode.

Follow:

YouTube: @WhyWontYouDateMePodcast

TikTok: @whywontyoudatemepod 

Instagram: @nicolebyer

X: @nicolebyer

Nicole's book: indiebound.org/book/9781524850746

Sponsor:

» Essie: Shop essie nail polish at Target.

This is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Why Won't You Date Me? via Gumball.fm.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Ho Ho Ho, Sonic is Here! A Sonic The Hedgehog Holiday Special (w/ Ben Schwartz)

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