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Tall or Nothing

Welcome to the Therapy Crouch! The smash hit podcast from Abbey Clancy and Peter Crouch. Join us on our weekly episodes where we will be exploring the trials and tribulations experienced by us, and you the listener, as we navigate our way through complex relationships. 

Enter into our safe space where nothing is off limits and expect some tears, tantrums and plenty of laughs along the way.

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Therapy Crouch

In this week’s The Therapy Crouch, it’s an Ask Me Anything. From bizarre celebrity chin debates to the eternal “ice lolly vs ice pop” argument, no question is too random.

The trio share listener stories—like a midwife’s ill-timed scare during a serene home birth—and swap their own tales of travel disasters, football superstition rituals, and awkward romantic encounters.

Abbey and Peter also offer heartfelt advice to a parent of an autistic child, swap tips for surviving long-haul flights with toddlers, and reveal their go-to Italian deli orders. Expect chaos, belly laughs, and a healthy serving of unsolicited life wisdom.

00:00 – Abbey, Peter & Ross kick off AMA episode.

01:01 – Batman chin debate spirals into Robert Pattinson chat.

05:10 – Wimbledon restaurant tips & ice lolly vs ice pop argument.

07:02 – Midwife’s calm home birth interrupted by prank gone wrong.

11:08 – The strict list of superstitions.

13:04 – Peter reveals his “lucky pants” and pre-match rituals.

15:28 – Listener asks for gangster film with romance recommendation.

17:05 – Emotional letter from mum of autistic child; Abbey & Peter’s advice.

19:33 – Travelling to England from New Zealand with an 18-month-old.

22:24 – Peter talks about Grenfell Athletic.

24:04 – Peter jokes about defenders being “second-class citizens.”

25:54 – Peter & Abbey reveal favourite dishes from their Italian deli.

Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetherapycrouchpodcast

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetherapycrouch 

Website: https://thetherapycrouch.com/ 

For more from Peter

https://twitter.com/petercrouch

For more from Abbey

https://www.instagram.com/abbeyclancy

Our clips channel

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZntcv96YhN8IvMAKsz4Dbg

#TheTherapyCrouch #AbbeyAndPete #RelationshipAdvice #Podcast

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

When Workplace Pranks Go Horribly Wrong…

On this week’s The Therapy Crouch, we’re taking a trip down memory lane with some of our favourite moments from the archive. Abbey and Peter are joined by James and Clair Buckley, Joel Dommett & Hannah Cooper, and Rio & Kate Ferdinand in a mash-up of the most outrageous, heart-warming and downright hilarious stories from previous episodes.

From disastrous first meetings, nightclub misunderstandings and awkward social media sliding, to unforgettable pet chaos, questionable furniture choices, and the infamous “Cactus-gate”, no topic is off limits. We hear about monkeys raiding minibars, heated debates over buying haemorrhoid cream, who really runs the household, and just how badly silk p*rnstar bedsheets can ruin a relationship aesthetic.

It’s a jam-packed celebration of our guests’ most iconic moments—equal parts jaw-dropping, relatable, and belly-achingly funny.

00:00 – Opening chaos

00:21 – Reminiscing on our first guests ever: James & Clair Buckley introduction.

00:57 – How James & Clair actually met in Liverpool.

01:42 – James admits video games turned from love to hate.

04:40 – Abbey admits she fancied Pete when he was struggling at Liverpool.

10:05 – Marriage timelines and anniversary confusions.

15:22 – James’ filthy bachelor pad and pube box story.

18:47 – The world’s clumsiest family dog.

20:29 – Could you punch a monkey? James’ wild holiday encounter.

22:08 – Joel & Hannah’s first night together and hotel vomit incident.

28:37 – The haemorrhoid cream argument that won’t die.

33:11 – Who’s really the boss at home? Joel & Hannah face off.

36:13 – Joel’s cringeworthy “sorry I had zero chat” text to Pete.

49:47 – Football slang quiz: “Fergie Time”, “Panenka” and more.

53:20 – Rio & Kate Ferdinand on coordinated outfits, favourite films and meal choices.

Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetherapycrouchpodcast

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetherapycrouch 

Website: https://thetherapycrouch.com/ 

For more from Peter

https://twitter.com/petercrouch

For more from Abbey

https://www.instagram.com/abbeyclancy

Our clips channel

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZntcv96YhN8IvMAKsz4Dbg

#TheTherapyCrouch #AbbeyAndPete #RelationshipAdvice #Podcast

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

FROM THE ARCHIVES: Cactus-Gate, Pube Boxes & Monkey Raids – Our Favourite Guest Episodes

On this week’s Ask Me Anything edition of The Therapy Crouch, Abbey Clancy and Peter Crouch are back and tackling some of the weirdest and most relatable listener dilemmas yet. From bathroom boundaries and toothbrush betrayals to croc controversies and ASMR obsessions, nothing is off limits.

Abbey spills the tea on parenting chaos, ASMR whispers that get a bit too sensual, and the great parcel-opening wars of the household. Meanwhile, Peter defends tag rugby, questions the crocs-on-the-catwalk movement, and explains why he sometimes has to hide… in his own house.

Expect hilarious bickering, oddly insightful advice, and an AMA session that feels more like eavesdropping on a family BBQ gone off the rails.

00:00 – Summer Vibes Recap

01:11 – Peter's Obsession with Strategy Games

03:02 – BBQ Karaoke—Who Replaced Peter?

04:32 – Rugby Rant: “They Run Forwards... But Throw Backwards?”

07:13 – ASK ME ANYTHING Begins!

07:21 – Bathroom Chat: “He Talks to Me While I’m on the Loo!”

09:10 – Peter Hiding in Rooms for Crisp Privacy

11:03 – Toothbrush Troubles: Sharing Isn’t Always Caring

13:19 – Package Paranoia: Kids & the Parcel Wars

15:07 – Crocs Controversy: Fashion Forward or a Red Flag?

19:07 – ASMR Arguments: Falling Asleep to a Whispering Stranger

23:12 – Cat Chaos and Spotless Houses

Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetherapycrouchpodcast

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetherapycrouch 

Website: https://thetherapycrouch.com/ 

For more from Peter

https://twitter.com/petercrouch

For more from Abbey

https://www.instagram.com/abbeyclancy

Our clips channel

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZntcv96YhN8IvMAKsz4Dbg

#TheTherapyCrouch #AbbeyAndPete #RelationshipAdvice #Podcast

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Parenting Chaos at 35,000 Feet – “It Ended in Tears!”

On this week’s episode of The Therapy Crouch, it's a post-holiday debrief with Abbey Clancy and Peter Crouch as they return from an eventful family break—and nothing is off-limits.

From Pete’s secret golf membership plot and near Baywatch-style beach rescue, to chaotic flights with kids and a philosophical deep-dive into how youth culture has shifted, the duo mix hilarious storytelling with heartfelt reflections on parenting, aging, and staying (semi) relevant - as they tackle TikTok slang, embarrassing parenting fails, and the pressures kids face in the social media age.

00:00 – Opening chaos: golf secrets, Portugal trip

01:00 – Abbey suspects Pete’s secretive behavior

02:30 – Pete joins a golf club in disguise

04:10 – Peter’s Baywatch moment: kids adrift at sea

06:15 – Red budgie smugglers + card-swallowing disaster

08:10 – Holiday airport horror with the kids

10:45 – Color wars: the fight over one coloring book

13:00 – Listeners’ Weekly Whines & shoutouts

15:00 – Abbey’s emotional horse reunion

18:00 – The two types of families on holiday

20:00 – Abbey & Pete’s Little Moons obsession

22:00 – Youth today vs. our generation

24:30 – Instagram pressure on young girls

26:00 – The terrifying influence of social media on kids

30:00 – Abbey & Pete try decoding Gen Z slang

36:00 – “It was better in my day…” rant begins

39:00 – Abbey vows never to be a bitter old woman

Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetherapycrouchpodcast

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetherapycrouch 

Website: https://thetherapycrouch.com/ 

For more from Peter

https://twitter.com/petercrouch

For more from Abbey

https://www.instagram.com/abbeyclancy

Our clips channel

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZntcv96YhN8IvMAKsz4Dbg

#TheTherapyCrouch #AbbeyAndPete #RelationshipAdvice #Podcast

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This Generation is DOOMED—Abbey & Peter Test TikTok Slang!

On this week’s Ask Me Anything episode of The Therapy Crouch, Abbey and Pete are back from their holidays and deep in the DMs with your juiciest dilemmas. From catfish cap-gate to forgotten birthdays and passive-aggressive boyfriends, nothing is off limits.

Peter shares a supermarket encounter that turned from awkward to iconic, while Abbey confesses her struggle to stop singing mid-podcast. There's a hilarious deep-dive into sauce snobbery, an all-out war on Dolmio vs. homemade, and the tragic tale of a bald reveal gone wrong…

Expect laugh-out-loud moments, minor therapy breakthroughs, and a fair few embarrassing admissions. Oh, and you’ll never look at Uncle Ben’s the same again.

00:24 – Intro: “Ask Me Anything” kicks off

01:25 – Abbey and Peter’s iconic name mashups

03:06 – Abbey’s Sheffield stories and uni flashbacks

05:03 – Peter’s awkward fan encounter

07:02 – “I don’t like you…but I love your wife!”

10:15 – Abbey on not feeling worthy of fan pics

12:45 – Ben-ze-ma vs. Cristiano: Abbey’s football mix-up

17:10 – The bald cap date disaster

21:26 – Domino’s vs. scratch sauce

26:14 – “Swamp water” boyfriend drama

30:02 – He forgot her birthday… until 6 p.m.

Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetherapycrouchpodcast

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetherapycrouch 

Website: https://thetherapycrouch.com/ 

For more from Peter

https://twitter.com/petercrouch

For more from Abbey

https://www.instagram.com/abbeyclancy

Our clips channel

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZntcv96YhN8IvMAKsz4Dbg

#TheTherapyCrouch #AbbeyAndPete #RelationshipAdvice #Podcast

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Would You SPLIT UP Over This Blunder?

On today’s episode of The Therapy Crouch, Pete and Abbey are joined by the hilarious Grace Keeling (aka GK Barry) and her partner Ella Rutherford for a chaotic catch-up that covers everything from TikTok stardom and Prosecco etiquette to celebrity jungle survival. Grace opens up about the sheer terror of her I’m a Celeb experience, while Ella reveals how she coped on the outside. 

Meanwhile, Pete’s caught slamming cupboard doors like a moody teen and Abbey’s off on a secret 75-mile pottery mission. There’s also a heartfelt letter from a listener who found solace in the pod after an unimaginable year of grief. 

From lazy husbands and ghosting boyfriends to parenting politics and picnic romance, this week’s episode is full of laughs, love, and a few roastings. 

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Scariest I’m a Celeb Trial Ever! GK Barry Tells All

On today’s episode of The Therapy Crouch, Peter Crouch and Abbey Clancy are back in full holiday spirit, bringing sunshine, sass, and serious opinions. From padel battles and cool fashion choices to the return of Oasis and a heated debate on the Gallagher brothers’ legacy, this episode is packed with chaotic charm.

Abbey weighs in on why she’s team Richard Ashcroft (and not B*Witched), while Peter boldly declares Oasis the greatest band of all time (cue the chaos). The duo share their summer holiday highlights, gym struggles (bread vs. biceps), and offer up life advice to a listener whose boyfriend can’t let go of his cheating ex’s cousin.

If you’re here for banter, brutally honest relationship advice, or to just hear Pete get roasted, you’re in the right place.

⏳ 00:00 – Opening chaos

⏳ 00:33 – Welcome to the AMA

⏳ 06:45 – Oasis comeback: Pete’s hot take begins

⏳ 15:27 – Starbucks sponsor segment

⏳ 18:00 – Listener dilemma

⏳ 24:30 – The psychology of popularity (and being nice)

⏳ 27:30 – Hen do vs. stag do

⏳ 38:10 – Final listener follow-up

⏳ 42:00 – Wrap-up and goodbye from The Therapy Crouch

This episode is sponsored by Starbucks Chilled Coffee. #ad

#TheTherapyCrouch

#PeterCrouchPodcast

#AbbeyClancy

#OasisDebate

#RelationshipDilemmas

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Peter Crouch Declares **** the Greatest Band Ever

On this week’s episode of The Therapy Crouch, it’s chaos, comedy, and a little bit of carnage as Abbey and Peter dive into their sun-soaked summer antics.

From Wimbledon meltdowns to family holiday disaster, nothing is off limits.

Abbey confronts Ross’ drawer-diving tendencies and accidental product theft while Pete does his best to defend his laugh (tongue and all).

Also on the podcast: a confusing tennis scoring system, badly-behaved boys in airport lounges, and a serious wardrobe shift from Amalfi Chic to full-blown Decathlon Dad. Plus, why Peter’s laugh might just be the thing that saves him from becoming one of those miserable old blokes in a chair.

So if you’re into hilarious parenting confessions, marriage bickers, and the best accidental insults ever delivered, you’re in for a treat.

#TheTherapyCrouch #PeterCrouch #AbbeyClancy #CoupleGoals #RelationshipAdvice

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Peter Crouch: “Why Can’t I Just Laugh Anymore?!”

On today’s episode of The Therapy Crouch, it’s chaos, comedy, and questionable eyebrows as Abbey and Peter dig into the most unfiltered Ask Me Anything yet.

Fresh from kids’ birthday party madness and some early-morning meltdowns, the gang swap wholesome parenting plans for brutally honest beauty confessions. Pete faces eyebrow-gate from Abbey and everyone debates what makes someone actually attractive.

We hear listener dilemmas involving secret pregnancies, Christmas apart, and one ear-crawling spider that shook us all to our core.

Plus, a full-blown dissection of Stockport vs. Liverpool, how to fake drinking at weddings, and the eternal question: what exactly is a thighbrow?

It's one for the ages.

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Pete: "This Was One of the Worst Things I've EVER had!"

On today’s episode of The Therapy Crouch, Abbey and Peter are joined by award-winning comedian, writer, and podcaster Russell Kane—and it’s safe to say no topic is off-limits. From parenting hacks to the perils of cancel culture, Russell dives headfirst into the contradictions of modern masculinity, fitness fads, and finding meaning in middle age. With his signature wit, he tackles everything from stick insects and supplements to co-sleeping dilemmas and the secret emotional lives of men. Russell drops explosive truths about historical icons on his hit podcast Evil Genius, and reflects on the unexpected lessons that come from fatherhood.

Plus, there’s plenty of laughs about sex talk gone wrong, affirmations gone weird, and why a dog might be your best wingman. If you want to know what happens when someone tries mirror affirmations in a dressing gown while their partner dies laughing—this one’s for you.

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This Generation is DOOMED—Abbey & Peter Test TikTok Slang!

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