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Tall or Nothing

Welcome to the Therapy Crouch! The smash hit podcast from Abbey Clancy and Peter Crouch. Join us on our weekly episodes where we will be exploring the trials and tribulations experienced by us, and you the listener, as we navigate our way through complex relationships. 

Enter into our safe space where nothing is off limits and expect some tears, tantrums and plenty of laughs along the way.

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Therapy Crouch

On today’s Ask Me Anything episode of The Therapy Crouch, Abbey and Peter dive headfirst into more of your juiciest dilemmas and most awkward confessions.

From disastrous dating stories (including a man who carries his own cutlery to dinner!) to navigating relationship privacy when screenshots of arguments get leaked, the pair give their unfiltered takes with their usual mix of honesty and humour.

Abbey and Pete also tackle questions on whether couples get too comfortable, if scheduling ‘quality time’ is actually romantic or clinical, and the perils of fancying another parent in the school WhatsApp group.

Alongside all the laughter, there are genuine pieces of advice on love, friendship, and keeping the spark alive in long-term relationships. Expect plenty of bickering, banter, and unexpected wisdom in another candid AMA.

00:24 – Introduction to the AMA episode.

05:22 – A shocking dating dilemma: the man who brought his own cutlery.

08:23 – A listener’s text gets leaked to the wrong person—relationship boundaries exposed.

12:43 – Feeling left behind at 34 while friends settle down.

14:14 – Should you fall for your housemate who’s also your best mate’s ex?

18:24 – Do couples get too comfortable with each other over time?

20:43 – Sleeping in separate beds—relationship killer or sleep saver?

23:18 – Scheduled s*x: lifesaver for busy couples or passion destroyer?

26:24 – Why affection outside the bedroom matters more than you think.

26:43 – Flirting in the school parents WhatsApp group—dangerous territory?

29:33 – Wrapping up

Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetherapycrouchpodcast

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetherapycrouch 

Website: https://thetherapycrouch.com/ 

For more from Peter

https://twitter.com/petercrouch

For more from Abbey

https://www.instagram.com/abbeyclancy

Our clips channel

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZntcv96YhN8IvMAKsz4Dbg

#TheTherapyCrouch #AbbeyAndPete #RelationshipAdvice #Podcast

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This One Mistake Will Put You in the Doghouse INSTANTLY!

On this week’s episode of The Therapy Crouch, Abbey and Peter are back with tales from their whirlwind summer of love. From a chaotic French getaway complete with dodgy rental cars, monastery villas, and some very unwanted rodents, to candid chats about home renovations, golf, and bar stools, the pair serve up hilarious bickering and heartfelt moments in equal measure.

Abbey opens up about her dream of making their home the ultimate family hub, while Peter… would rather just leave it as is. They also dive headfirst into matchmaking duties for listeners, reading out profiles from hopeless romantics, divorcees, triathletes, and cat dads (named after cheeses, no less).

Alongside laughs and chaos, the duo share heartfelt advice on young love, the “chase phase” in dating, long-distance relationships, and even what to do if your 25-year-old life plans go haywire overnight…

00:00 – The chaos begins: Abbey’s hungover, Peter’s defensive

02:00 – The great home renovation debate: move vs. makeover

07:00 – Abbey vs. Peter’s French trip fallout

10:00 – Listener letter: a podcast that changed a woman’s life

14:00 – Sophia’s tennis triumph in France

18:00 – Peter gets papped: the “age-defying physique” debate

20:00 – Abbey’s horror at rats outside their French villa

23:00 – Abbey’s airplane matchmaking attempt

27:00 – Listener profile: the “Earth Angel” in search of love

30:00 – The caravan “anal” game and Peter’s disgust

39:00 – Listener dilemma: 56-year-old divorcee looking for love

44:00 – Young listener’s breakup dilemma and the importance of honesty

Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetherapycrouchpodcast

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetherapycrouch 

Website: https://thetherapycrouch.com/ 

For more from Peter

https://twitter.com/petercrouch

For more from Abbey

https://www.instagram.com/abbeyclancy

Our clips channel

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZntcv96YhN8IvMAKsz4Dbg

#TheTherapyCrouch #AbbeyAndPete #RelationshipAdvice #Podcast

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Your Dating Profiles Are Wilder Than We Ever Expected…

On this week’s episode of The Therapy Crouch, Abbey Clancy and Peter Crouch dive headfirst into another Ask Me Anything, with hilarious listener dilemmas to behind-the-scenes truths about their own marriage, nothing is off-limits.

Abbey tests her footballer name pronunciation skills, as well as recalling losing her Invisalign in restaurant bins, while Peter admits to being spotted cruising along a French promenade on a lime bike.

The pair weigh in on moving in with a partner too soon, whether it’s ever acceptable to make wedding guests pay for food, and why kids nearly ended their love life this summer.

Expect plenty of laughter, a few awkward confessions, and a surprising debate you’ll never forget.

00:00 – Intro

01:02 – “Funny words” game spirals into absurd flap debates.

03:25 – Do school holidays kill romance? Abbey and Peter confess.

05:03 – The couple reflect on their beloved cats and relationship milestones.

07:16 – Listener asks: how to ask your girlfriend to move in. Abbey reveals how Pete got it wrong.

11:07 – Pete recalls the infamous “tree necklace” disaster.

12:00 – Listener question: who would they shaba if not each other?

13:01 – Abbey tests her footballer name pronouciations

18:32 – The wedding food debate: should guests pay at a festival wedding?

19:24 – A fan spots Peter riding a lime bike in Nice?!

22:11 – Why Abbey and Peter had kids before marriage.

26:04 – Invisalign horrors: Abbey’s tips (and bin-digging disasters).

28:40 – Would Abbey rather watch Peter play golf or model lingerie?

30:25 – Flashback: A friend in a swimsuit and thigh-highs… Pete approves.

Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetherapycrouchpodcast

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetherapycrouch 

Website: https://thetherapycrouch.com/ 

For more from Peter

https://twitter.com/petercrouch

For more from Abbey

https://www.instagram.com/abbeyclancy

Our clips channel

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZntcv96YhN8IvMAKsz4Dbg

#TheTherapyCrouch #AbbeyAndPete #RelationshipAdvice #Podcast

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How Summer Holidays STEAL Every Couple’s Romance!

This week on The Therapy Crouch, Abbey and Peter are joined by chart-topping singer, songwriter, and TV personality Olly Murs. Known for hits like Dance With Me Tonight and Troublemaker, and for his roles hosting The X Factor and coaching on The Voice UK, Olly opens up about life on tour with One Direction, Take That, and Robbie Williams, the glamour-free reality of nappy changes and dog walks, a story about a rather eventful/chaotic car accident…

The trio swap wild stories of knicker-throwing fans, self-service till antics, and household quirks that drive them mad. Olly shares candid moments from his meteoric rise after The X Factor, the madness of US stadium tours, and the bittersweet balancing act between career highs and family life.

Packed with laughs, confessions, and behind-the-scenes showbiz secrets, this episode is a warm, hilarious, and occasionally messy peek into Olly’s world.

00:00 – Intro

07:15 – Self-service tills & checkout flirting

13:20 – Skidmark confessiona

13:44 – Introducing Olly Murs

15:10 – Knicker-throwing fans & worst gig gifts

15:33 – Irish twins news & parenting chaos

19:15 – Olly’s dog poo nightmare

23:21 – The ultimate nappy disaster

25:06 – Missing newborn moments while on tour

31:18 – Madness of touring with One Direction in the US

38:49 – Harry Styles sends Olly his Brit Award

39:34 – From music to TV presenting: The Voice & X Factor

45:32 – The surreal car crash story

53:10 – Handling overnight fame

57:44 – Staying grounded while living the dream

01:02:12 – Behind-the-scenes truths of reality TV

01:06:30 – Final laughs & Olly’s parting words

Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetherapycrouchpodcast

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetherapycrouch 

Website: https://thetherapycrouch.com/ 

For more from Peter

https://twitter.com/petercrouch

For more from Abbey

https://www.instagram.com/abbeyclancy

Our clips channel

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZntcv96YhN8IvMAKsz4Dbg

#TheTherapyCrouch #AbbeyAndPete #RelationshipAdvice #Podcast

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Olly Murs: What REALLY Happened on US Tour with One Direction & My Unbelievable Car Crash Story

In this week’s The Therapy Crouch, it’s an Ask Me Anything. From bizarre celebrity chin debates to the eternal “ice lolly vs ice pop” argument, no question is too random.

The trio share listener stories—like a midwife’s ill-timed scare during a serene home birth—and swap their own tales of travel disasters, football superstition rituals, and awkward romantic encounters.

Abbey and Peter also offer heartfelt advice to a parent of an autistic child, swap tips for surviving long-haul flights with toddlers, and reveal their go-to Italian deli orders. Expect chaos, belly laughs, and a healthy serving of unsolicited life wisdom.

00:00 – Abbey, Peter & Ross kick off AMA episode.

01:01 – Batman chin debate spirals into Robert Pattinson chat.

05:10 – Wimbledon restaurant tips & ice lolly vs ice pop argument.

07:02 – Midwife’s calm home birth interrupted by prank gone wrong.

11:08 – The strict list of superstitions.

13:04 – Peter reveals his “lucky pants” and pre-match rituals.

15:28 – Listener asks for gangster film with romance recommendation.

17:05 – Emotional letter from mum of autistic child; Abbey & Peter’s advice.

19:33 – Travelling to England from New Zealand with an 18-month-old.

22:24 – Peter talks about Grenfell Athletic.

24:04 – Peter jokes about defenders being “second-class citizens.”

25:54 – Peter & Abbey reveal favourite dishes from their Italian deli.

Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetherapycrouchpodcast

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetherapycrouch 

Website: https://thetherapycrouch.com/ 

For more from Peter

https://twitter.com/petercrouch

For more from Abbey

https://www.instagram.com/abbeyclancy

Our clips channel

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZntcv96YhN8IvMAKsz4Dbg

#TheTherapyCrouch #AbbeyAndPete #RelationshipAdvice #Podcast

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

When Workplace Pranks Go Horribly Wrong…

On this week’s The Therapy Crouch, we’re taking a trip down memory lane with some of our favourite moments from the archive. Abbey and Peter are joined by James and Clair Buckley, Joel Dommett & Hannah Cooper, and Rio & Kate Ferdinand in a mash-up of the most outrageous, heart-warming and downright hilarious stories from previous episodes.

From disastrous first meetings, nightclub misunderstandings and awkward social media sliding, to unforgettable pet chaos, questionable furniture choices, and the infamous “Cactus-gate”, no topic is off limits. We hear about monkeys raiding minibars, heated debates over buying haemorrhoid cream, who really runs the household, and just how badly silk p*rnstar bedsheets can ruin a relationship aesthetic.

It’s a jam-packed celebration of our guests’ most iconic moments—equal parts jaw-dropping, relatable, and belly-achingly funny.

00:00 – Opening chaos

00:21 – Reminiscing on our first guests ever: James & Clair Buckley introduction.

00:57 – How James & Clair actually met in Liverpool.

01:42 – James admits video games turned from love to hate.

04:40 – Abbey admits she fancied Pete when he was struggling at Liverpool.

10:05 – Marriage timelines and anniversary confusions.

15:22 – James’ filthy bachelor pad and pube box story.

18:47 – The world’s clumsiest family dog.

20:29 – Could you punch a monkey? James’ wild holiday encounter.

22:08 – Joel & Hannah’s first night together and hotel vomit incident.

28:37 – The haemorrhoid cream argument that won’t die.

33:11 – Who’s really the boss at home? Joel & Hannah face off.

36:13 – Joel’s cringeworthy “sorry I had zero chat” text to Pete.

49:47 – Football slang quiz: “Fergie Time”, “Panenka” and more.

53:20 – Rio & Kate Ferdinand on coordinated outfits, favourite films and meal choices.

Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetherapycrouchpodcast

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetherapycrouch 

Website: https://thetherapycrouch.com/ 

For more from Peter

https://twitter.com/petercrouch

For more from Abbey

https://www.instagram.com/abbeyclancy

Our clips channel

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZntcv96YhN8IvMAKsz4Dbg

#TheTherapyCrouch #AbbeyAndPete #RelationshipAdvice #Podcast

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

FROM THE ARCHIVES: Cactus-Gate, Pube Boxes & Monkey Raids – Our Favourite Guest Episodes

On this week’s Ask Me Anything edition of The Therapy Crouch, Abbey Clancy and Peter Crouch are back and tackling some of the weirdest and most relatable listener dilemmas yet. From bathroom boundaries and toothbrush betrayals to croc controversies and ASMR obsessions, nothing is off limits.

Abbey spills the tea on parenting chaos, ASMR whispers that get a bit too sensual, and the great parcel-opening wars of the household. Meanwhile, Peter defends tag rugby, questions the crocs-on-the-catwalk movement, and explains why he sometimes has to hide… in his own house.

Expect hilarious bickering, oddly insightful advice, and an AMA session that feels more like eavesdropping on a family BBQ gone off the rails.

00:00 – Summer Vibes Recap

01:11 – Peter's Obsession with Strategy Games

03:02 – BBQ Karaoke—Who Replaced Peter?

04:32 – Rugby Rant: “They Run Forwards... But Throw Backwards?”

07:13 – ASK ME ANYTHING Begins!

07:21 – Bathroom Chat: “He Talks to Me While I’m on the Loo!”

09:10 – Peter Hiding in Rooms for Crisp Privacy

11:03 – Toothbrush Troubles: Sharing Isn’t Always Caring

13:19 – Package Paranoia: Kids & the Parcel Wars

15:07 – Crocs Controversy: Fashion Forward or a Red Flag?

19:07 – ASMR Arguments: Falling Asleep to a Whispering Stranger

23:12 – Cat Chaos and Spotless Houses

Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetherapycrouchpodcast

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetherapycrouch 

Website: https://thetherapycrouch.com/ 

For more from Peter

https://twitter.com/petercrouch

For more from Abbey

https://www.instagram.com/abbeyclancy

Our clips channel

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZntcv96YhN8IvMAKsz4Dbg

#TheTherapyCrouch #AbbeyAndPete #RelationshipAdvice #Podcast

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Parenting Chaos at 35,000 Feet – “It Ended in Tears!”

On this week’s episode of The Therapy Crouch, it's a post-holiday debrief with Abbey Clancy and Peter Crouch as they return from an eventful family break—and nothing is off-limits.

From Pete’s secret golf membership plot and near Baywatch-style beach rescue, to chaotic flights with kids and a philosophical deep-dive into how youth culture has shifted, the duo mix hilarious storytelling with heartfelt reflections on parenting, aging, and staying (semi) relevant - as they tackle TikTok slang, embarrassing parenting fails, and the pressures kids face in the social media age.

00:00 – Opening chaos: golf secrets, Portugal trip

01:00 – Abbey suspects Pete’s secretive behavior

02:30 – Pete joins a golf club in disguise

04:10 – Peter’s Baywatch moment: kids adrift at sea

06:15 – Red budgie smugglers + card-swallowing disaster

08:10 – Holiday airport horror with the kids

10:45 – Color wars: the fight over one coloring book

13:00 – Listeners’ Weekly Whines & shoutouts

15:00 – Abbey’s emotional horse reunion

18:00 – The two types of families on holiday

20:00 – Abbey & Pete’s Little Moons obsession

22:00 – Youth today vs. our generation

24:30 – Instagram pressure on young girls

26:00 – The terrifying influence of social media on kids

30:00 – Abbey & Pete try decoding Gen Z slang

36:00 – “It was better in my day…” rant begins

39:00 – Abbey vows never to be a bitter old woman

Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetherapycrouchpodcast

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetherapycrouch 

Website: https://thetherapycrouch.com/ 

For more from Peter

https://twitter.com/petercrouch

For more from Abbey

https://www.instagram.com/abbeyclancy

Our clips channel

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZntcv96YhN8IvMAKsz4Dbg

#TheTherapyCrouch #AbbeyAndPete #RelationshipAdvice #Podcast

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This Generation is DOOMED—Abbey & Peter Test TikTok Slang!

On this week’s Ask Me Anything episode of The Therapy Crouch, Abbey and Pete are back from their holidays and deep in the DMs with your juiciest dilemmas. From catfish cap-gate to forgotten birthdays and passive-aggressive boyfriends, nothing is off limits.

Peter shares a supermarket encounter that turned from awkward to iconic, while Abbey confesses her struggle to stop singing mid-podcast. There's a hilarious deep-dive into sauce snobbery, an all-out war on Dolmio vs. homemade, and the tragic tale of a bald reveal gone wrong…

Expect laugh-out-loud moments, minor therapy breakthroughs, and a fair few embarrassing admissions. Oh, and you’ll never look at Uncle Ben’s the same again.

00:24 – Intro: “Ask Me Anything” kicks off

01:25 – Abbey and Peter’s iconic name mashups

03:06 – Abbey’s Sheffield stories and uni flashbacks

05:03 – Peter’s awkward fan encounter

07:02 – “I don’t like you…but I love your wife!”

10:15 – Abbey on not feeling worthy of fan pics

12:45 – Ben-ze-ma vs. Cristiano: Abbey’s football mix-up

17:10 – The bald cap date disaster

21:26 – Domino’s vs. scratch sauce

26:14 – “Swamp water” boyfriend drama

30:02 – He forgot her birthday… until 6 p.m.

Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetherapycrouchpodcast

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetherapycrouch 

Website: https://thetherapycrouch.com/ 

For more from Peter

https://twitter.com/petercrouch

For more from Abbey

https://www.instagram.com/abbeyclancy

Our clips channel

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZntcv96YhN8IvMAKsz4Dbg

#TheTherapyCrouch #AbbeyAndPete #RelationshipAdvice #Podcast

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Would You SPLIT UP Over This Blunder?

On today’s episode of The Therapy Crouch, Pete and Abbey are joined by the hilarious Grace Keeling (aka GK Barry) and her partner Ella Rutherford for a chaotic catch-up that covers everything from TikTok stardom and Prosecco etiquette to celebrity jungle survival. Grace opens up about the sheer terror of her I’m a Celeb experience, while Ella reveals how she coped on the outside. 

Meanwhile, Pete’s caught slamming cupboard doors like a moody teen and Abbey’s off on a secret 75-mile pottery mission. There’s also a heartfelt letter from a listener who found solace in the pod after an unimaginable year of grief. 

From lazy husbands and ghosting boyfriends to parenting politics and picnic romance, this week’s episode is full of laughs, love, and a few roastings. 

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Scariest I’m a Celeb Trial Ever! GK Barry Tells All

On today’s episode of the Therapy Crouch, Abbey and Pete are giving advice on how to add a little bit of spice to your life!

From trying new activities together, to enjoying a bit of Nurse on Viking role play - Abbey and Peter cover all bases with some surprising results……

And it isn’t all just bedroom antics, we discuss why laughter really is the best medicine, how there is more to being tactile than a cheeky shabba and what to do when your Nurse Nightingale becomes a Nurse NightMAREingale

In the Agony Abs, we give advice on what to do when your parents decide they love Spain more than they love you - and why the humble border collie can be the perfect antidote to a clingy fella. 

All this and much more only on, The Therapy Crouch!

00:00 Intro

03:13 Nurse Nightingale

10:34 My Sweet 13th

14:13 Artificial Intelligence AKA AI

19:24 Weekly Whines 

26:31 Spice Up Your Life

29:45 Role Play

39:04 Two Conkers in a Hanky

42:15 Laughter is the Best Medicine 

51:39 Agony Abs

To contact us: 

Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ thetherapycrouchpodcast/ 

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/ @thetherapycrouch 

Website: https://thetherapycrouch.com/ 

For more from Peter

https://twitter.com/petercrouch

For more from Abbey

https://www.instagram.com/abbeyclancy

Our clips channel

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZntcv96YhN8IvMAKsz4Dbg

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Spicing Up Your Love Life, Letting Your Coochie Breathe and Pete’s Issues With AI

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