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Tall or Nothing

Welcome to the Therapy Crouch! The smash hit podcast from Abbey Clancy and Peter Crouch. Join us on our weekly episodes where we will be exploring the trials and tribulations experienced by us, and you the listener, as we navigate our way through complex relationships. 

Enter into our safe space where nothing is off limits and expect some tears, tantrums and plenty of laughs along the way.

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Therapy Crouch

On today's episode of The Therapy Crouch, Peter is back in LA while Abbey holds down the fort in Portugal, and long-distance life is proving just as chaotic as ever.

The pair kick things off by catching up across the time difference, with Pete walking into a house where everyone is ill while Abbey gives a dramatic update on her ever-growing cat family. What started as rescuing a few kittens has turned into full-blown Tiger King territory, complete with surprise attacks and daily battles just to clean their eyes.

Elsewhere, Peter reveals his biggest long-distance frustration, why time zones should be abolished forever, and the couple laugh about the strange ways they've celebrated birthdays and even delayed Christmas together when life got in the way.

There's also a brilliant listener debate about whether "I'm just going for one drink" has ever actually meant one drink, before the pair tackle some of the internet's most ridiculous ‘Am I The Asshole’ stories. From a man who demolished an entire four-foot party sandwich to a groom desperate to hide his brother's extremely graphic tattoo on his wedding day, the dilemmas only get more bizarre.

Plus, Pete is fascinated by LA's driverless delivery robots, Abbey explains why self-checkouts are killing conversation, and an Agony Ab involving a supposedly "dead" ex leaves everyone questioning what they would do in the same situation.

If you want to submit an Agony Ab to the podcast - hit the link below:

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1rAKD...

00:00 - Pete flirts before the podcast starts

00:24 - Peter joins from LA as Abbey stays in Portugal

01:05 - Pete arrives to a house full of ill crew members

01:53 - Abbey's rescued kittens become complete chaos

03:42 - Tiger King comparisons and life with five kittens

04:28 - Pete misses Abbey but loves working in LA

05:05 - Abbey's sunrise horse ride nearly sends Pete to sleep

06:25 - Weekly whine: long distance and impossible time zones

07:50 - Pete jokes Abbey is too happy without him

09:00 - How they move anniversaries and even Christmas

10:04 - "One drink with the lads" never ends well

12:13 - Pete explains why men should stop promising one pint

16:03 - Listener compliments, fashion chat and modern dating

18:07 - Why the 90s were better than today

20:00 - Relationship ick: talking to your partner through the dog

22:24 - American AITA: the infamous 4-foot party sandwich

26:24 - Was eating the entire sandwich actually selfish?

29:53 - Dad tries forcing his 25-year-old girlfriend into every friendship group

34:27 - Wedding drama over a giant vagina tattoo

38:00 - Pete's mind is blown by LA delivery robots

39:40 - Why self-checkouts are ruining human interaction

41:25 - Agony Ab: is your girlfriend lying about her "dead" ex?

43:25 - Doppelganger debate and emotional long-distance goodbye

To contact us:

Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com

Instagram: 

 / thetherapycrouchpodcast 

TikTok: 

 / thetherapycrouch 

Website:https://thetherapycrouch.com/

For more from Peter 

 / petercrouch 

For more from Abbey 

 / abbeyclancy 

Our clips channel 

 / @thetherapycrouch-clipsch-om9dy 

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Peter & Abbey React to America's Wildest AITA Stories, Robot Deliveries and Dating Disasters…

On today’s episode of The Therapy Crouch, Abbey and Peter are back for another Ask Me Anything from Portugal and there is absolutely no shortage of chaos!

The pair kick things off by diving into the realities of being reunited after time apart, with Abbey admitting Peter has completely ruined the routine she’d finally managed to get in place while solo parenting. There’s also a fresh long-distance confession from producer Gaz, who reveals he took his girlfriend’s pants to LA for “comfort” only for them to be neatly folded by the housekeeper and left on full display in his room…

Elsewhere, Abbey and Peter discuss one listener’s boyfriend who insists on calling a Leeds-to-Manchester relationship “long distance”, whether ugly animals are actually the cutest pets of all, and why Abbey can’t stop rescuing tiny kittens in Portugal. There’s also a truly bizarre internet confession involving a sex act, a shout of “Shabba!” and an Alexa request for Mr Bombastic that completely derails the pod.

Plus, Abbey opens up about her Scouse identity, whether she’s become “too posh” for Liverpool, and the strange experience of sounding too Scouse in London but not Scouse enough back home!

If you want to submit an Agony Ab to the podcast - hit the link below

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1rAKDST4HU_8al_aWpOlys3TRJrWvDV-84piVdlOOjU4/edit

00:00 Introduction

02:20 G’s Long Distance Comfort Knickers

04:22 Abbey’s New Coconut Coffee Obsession

07:22 The Boyfriend Who Calls Leeds to Manchester ‘Long Distance’

09:28 Ugly Pets, Feral Cats and A Farm Podcast Invitation

12:17 Abbey’s Portugal Animal Rescue Update

15:17 The Shabba Bedroom Confession

18:04 Laughing With A Straight Face

19:01 Abbey on Being Scouse in London vs Liverpool

22:20 Abbey Plans G’s Makeover

To contact us:

Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetherapycrouchpodcast/

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetherapycrouch

Website: https://thetherapycrouch.com/

For more from Peter

https://twitter.com/petercrouch

For more from Abbey

https://www.instagram.com/abbeyclancy

Our clips channel

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZntcv96YhN8IvMAKsz4Dbg

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Peter and Abbey Talk Long Distance Delusions, Comfort Knickers and The Return of Shabba!

On today’s episode of The Therapy Crouch, Abbey and Peter are reunited in Portugal for a Father’s Day special… but as always, things go downhill fast!

Abbey reveals she’s somehow ended up fostering a wild cat and five tiny kittens after they were found abandoned in a dumpster, while Peter returns from LA only to be struck down by jet lag & a family vomit bug. Oh, and Gaz suffers one of the most unfortunate sunburn injuries we’ve ever heard on the pod!

The pair also tackle some of your Father’s Day dilemmas, from whether homemade cards are ever acceptable as an adult, to the horror of six-minute voice notes from dads who’ve discovered Facebook Marketplace. 

In the Agony Abs, one listener gets in touch after walking in on her boyfriend wearing her lingerie over a full work suit while performing what can only be described as an interpretive crab dance around the bedroom… and honestly, it might be one of the most chaotic emails we’ve ever had!

Elsewhere, there’s more pelvic floor follow-up, Abbey and Peter debate slamming doors, wardrobe icks and car door etiquette, and Gaz admits what he’s missing most about football culture in the UK while out in the States.

If you want to submit an Agony Ab to the podcast - hit the link below

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1rAKDST4HU_8al_aWpOlys3TRJrWvDV-84piVdlOOjU4/edit

00:00 Introduction

01:12 Abbey Fosters A Wild Cat and Five Kittens

05:08 Father’s Day, Family Chaos and The Vomit Bug

07:35 Gaz's Insane Sunburn Story

11:48 Father’s Day Card Dilemmas

14:10 Dad Voice Notes and Facebook Marketplace Addiction

17:39 Pelvic Floor Follow-Up

20:28 Cupboard Slamming, Door Icks and Household Annoyances

24:05 Peter’s Ideal Father’s Day

25:42 Reuniting In Portugal After Time Apart

31:43 The Lingerie Crab Dance Email

38:31 Gaz's Football Culture Rant In America

40:28 Wrapping Up In Portugal

To contact us:

Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetherapycrouchpodcast/

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetherapycrouch

Website: https://thetherapycrouch.com/

For more from Peter

https://twitter.com/petercrouch

For more from Abbey

https://www.instagram.com/abbeyclancy

Our clips channel

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZntcv96YhN8IvMAKsz4Dbg

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Father’s Day Chaos! Abbey Fosters Five Kittens, Gaz Burns His BALLS and a Listener’s Lingerie Confession!

On today’s episode of The Therapy Crouch, Abbey and Peter attempt another long-distance podcast recording... and quickly realise just how difficult it is to be apart.

After a chaotic start filled with technical disasters, Peter opens up about life at the World Cup, meeting internet superstar IShowSpeed, and why being away from home is proving tougher than expected. Meanwhile, Abbey has fully embraced life in Portugal, from horse riding on the beach to becoming the ultimate football mum.

The couple discuss whether they’re any good at long distance, Peter’s frustrations with communication while he’s away, and why they both agree being apart simply doesn’t suit them. 

Plus, listener emails spark conversations about celebrity lookalikes, bizarre relationship situations, modern dating dilemmas and one particularly awkward bedroom problem that leaves Abbey and Peter struggling to keep a straight face.

00:00 Long Distance Recording Chaos03:00 Abbey Offers Peter A Makeover06:15 Life In Portugal & World Cup Updates08:50 Peter Opens Up About Missing Home10:15 Meeting IShowSpeed At The World Cup11:50 Abbey's Horse Riding Adventure13:30 Are Abbey & Peter Bad At Long Distance?15:20 Listener Apology To Abbey18:00 Does Anyone Fancy Peter?20:50 Peter Crouch Love Island Lookalike22:00 Icks, Cycling Gear & Matcha Orders27:40 Long Distance Relationship Horror Story33:45 The Awkward Bedroom Dilemma41:20 Abbey & Peter's Advice42:45 Emotional Goodbye From Portugal

To contact us:

Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com

Instagram: / thetherapycrouchpodcast 

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Long Distance Disasters! Abbey and Peter Struggle Apart, World Cup FOMO and Bedroom Dilemmas

On today’s episode of The Therapy Crouch, Abbey and Peter are back for another Ask Me Anything episode and things quickly take a surprisingly therapeutic turn.

The pair tackle everything from moving across the world and starting over in Los Angeles, to the relationship habits that secretly drive people mad. 

There’s a heated debate over butter etiquette, cheese board rules and Peter’s definitive ranking of bottled water, before the conversation shifts into some genuinely heartfelt advice for a listener considering leaving behind friends, family and a successful career for a brand new life abroad.

We also hear about a listener whose boyfriend can’t fall asleep without listening to The Therapy Crouch, discuss why Peter thinks LA is completely different from what he expected, and settle the age-old question of whether Abbey could beat Peter at any physical activity.

00:00 Introduction & AMA Begins

01:48 Running, Relaxation & Meditation Debate

05:04 Peter’s Water Rankings & Bottled Water Controversy

07:24 The "Lurpak Ripper" Relationship Confession

09:15 The Great Brie Etiquette Debate

11:15 Should You Move Your Entire Life To LA?

14:09 Peter’s Honest Thoughts On Los Angeles

16:33 Abbey’s Life-Changing Advice: Just Go For It

17:56 When The Podcast Becomes A Therapy Session

20:14 The Listener Who Falls Asleep To The Podcast

21:36 AI Writing Books & The Future Of Entertainment

22:09 Could Abbey Beat Peter At Anything?

23:21 Peter Defends His Athletic Ability

24:12 The Hot Air Balloon Disaster Story

24:55 Goodbye From Portugal

To contact us:

Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com

Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/thetherapycrouchpodcast/

TikTok:

https://www.tiktok.com/@thetherapycrouch

Website:

https://thetherapycrouch.com/

For more from Peter

https://twitter.com/petercrouch

For more from Abbey

https://www.instagram.com/abbeyclancy

Our clips channel

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZntcv96YhN8IvMAKsz4Dbg

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Could You Leave Everything Behind? Abbey & Peter Weigh In!

On today’s episode of The Therapy Crouch, Abbey and Peter are back for another AMA episode as they answer your dilemmas, share some hilarious stories and dish out their brutally honest advice.

The gang kick things off by talking about spending time apart for the first time in a while before a conversation about restaurant etiquette and customer service spirals into a rant about supermarket managers, jangling keychains and the ultimate "jobsworth" behaviour.

We also hear one of Abbey's most awkward holiday stories ever as an innocent dinner invitation takes a very unexpected turn, leaving her too nervous to tell Peter what had actually happened until much later.

Also, Abbey and Peter help a listener who told someone they loved them only to have the feeling go unreturned, discussing heartbreak, rejection and why sometimes walking away is the healthiest option. We also tackle a bedroom dilemma from a listener looking to spice things up in his relationship, leading to one of the funniest and most chaotic conversations we've had in a long time.

If you want to submit an Agony Ab to the podcast - hit the link below

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1rAKDST4HU_8al_aWpOlys3TRJrWvDV-84piVdlOOjU4/edit

00:00 Introduction

01:55 Long Distance Relationships

02:50 Restaurant Jobsworths

05:10 First Ever Jobs

08:55 Abbey's Awkward Holiday Story

10:15 "Why Don't You Just Leave?"

11:30 Peter Finds Out What Happened

14:10 Honesty In Relationships

15:00 "I Love You" Wasn't Returned

16:45 Heartbreak & Moving On

17:35 Bedroom Dilemmas

19:15 How To Talk About Intimacy

20:30 The "Shabba" Debate

22:10 Modern Dating & OnlyFans

23:10 Sunday Best & Final Thoughts

To contact us:

Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetherapycrouchpodcast/

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetherapycrouch

Website: https://thetherapycrouch.com/

For more from Peter

https://twitter.com/petercrouch

For more from Abbey

https://www.instagram.com/abbeyclancy

Our clips channel

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZntcv96YhN8IvMAKsz4Dbg

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

He Invited Us To Dinner... Then Things Got Awkward | Ask me Anything!

Welcome back to The Therapy Crouch! We’re in the middle of a house move, a country move, and apparently, Pete is starting his new life as a full-time farmer.

In today’s episode, Abbey recounts what can only be described as the most traumatic parking incident in Everyman Cinema history. Let’s just say a 16-year-old staff member and a "barricade" of cars left her in actual tears.

Meanwhile, Pete has bypassed the butcher and come home with live Koi Carp and a brood of ducklings. We introduce you to Bob, Pip, and the rest of the gang—plus, we dive into your "Weekly Whines," including a bottomless brunch disaster and a fan confession that proves Pete’s "accidental sex appeal" is still going strong.

If you want to submit an Agony Ab to the podcast - hit the link below

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1rAKDST4HU_8al_aWpOlys3TRJrWvDV-84piVdlOOjU4/edit

00:00 – The long-distance relationship struggle begins 

02:00 – Dream home or logistical nightmare? 0

04:52 – Abbey’s Weekly Whine: The Everyman Cinema Barricade 🚗 

07:40 – Pete vs. The 16-Year-Old "Bully" 

11:42 – The Big Reveal: Pete’s new Koi Carp and Ducks 🦆 

14:48 – Meeting Bob the Duckling (Live on the pod!) 

17:15 – Audience Whine: The bottomless brunch from hell 

22:00 – Pete’s "Icky" take on bottomless brunches 

24:32 – The dream of riding horses in Montana 

27:02 – The "Trouser Snake" Ick 🐍 

30:10 – Athleisure vs. The Yoga Mat Fashion Accessory 

33:52 – Dealing with a "Machiavellian" Stepson 

40:00 – Fan Confession: "Pete Crouch was my childhood crush" 

41:50 – The search for people who fancy Abbey (and Gaz!)

To contact us:

Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetherapycrouchpodcast/

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetherapycrouch

Website: https://thetherapycrouch.com/

For more from Peter

https://twitter.com/petercrouch

For more from Abbey

https://www.instagram.com/abbeyclancy

Our clips channel

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZntcv96YhN8IvMAKsz4Dbg

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ducks, Koi Carp and A Very Angry 16-Year-Old!

On today’s episode of The Therapy Crouch, Abbey and Peter are back in Portugal for another AMA and things quickly descend into chaos as they discuss the little things that seem to annoy them more and more with age.

Peter shares his surprising obsession with supermarket trolleys while Abbey reveals the birthday party booking experience that left both of them completely baffled. The pair debate why some people seem determined to make life difficult for everyone around them, from awkward customer service encounters to airport staff who appear to enjoy saying no.

We also answer more of your AMA questions, including which football legends Abbey would love to have on the podcast, the footballers and managers she'd most like to interview, and Peter’s thoughts on some of the biggest names in the game.

In the Agony Abs, we hear from a listener whose attempt to spice up a long-distance relationship went spectacularly wrong after sending an extremely personal voice note to completely the wrong person. Plus, Abbey and Peter reveal their own accidental messaging disasters that they'll never live down.

If you want to submit an Agony Ab to the podcast - hit the link below

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1rAKDST4HU_8al_aWpOlys3TRJrWvDV-84piVdlOOjU4/edit

00:00 Introduction

01:28 Peter's Supermarket Trolley Obsession

03:22 The £3 Chip Shop Argument

05:05 Jack's Birthday Party Booking Disaster

08:35 Why Do Some People Love Saying No?

10:00 Peter's Airport Security Horror Story

12:30 AMA Questions Begin

13:15 Abbey's Dream Football Guests

15:45 Football Managers, Transfers and Big Names

17:30 The Accidental Voice Note Disaster

20:00 Embarrassing Group Chat Mistakes

22:15 More AMA Questions

24:45 Final Thoughts

26:19 End

To contact us:

Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetherapycrouchpodcast/

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetherapycrouch

Website: https://thetherapycrouch.com/

For more from Peter

https://twitter.com/petercrouch

For more from Abbey

https://www.instagram.com/abbeyclancy

Our clips channel

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZntcv96YhN8IvMAKsz4Dbg

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Therapy Crouch AMA! Football Questions, Family Drama and One Very Awkward Mistake!

On today's episode of The Therapy Crouch, Abbey is completely consumed by the house of her dreams as she reveals how a 15-year search has finally come to an end and why decorating it has become an all-consuming obsession. Peter also shares the story of a recent speaking event where he discovered not everyone is his biggest fan, leading to a hilarious conversation about criticism, internet comments and being judged by people you've never even met.

The gang then get stuck into the world of stag dos, debating what actually makes the perfect lads' trip and whether some traditions should finally be left in the past. In the Agony Abs, one listener is left fuming after her boyfriend returns from a stag do and proudly reveals exactly what went on during a trip to a strip club, sparking a huge discussion around trust, honesty and relationship boundaries.

We also hear from a new mum whose partner walked away shortly after the birth of their baby, leading to some of Abbey's strongest advice yet on parenthood, responsibility and putting family first.

If you want to submit an Agony Ab to the podcast - hit the link below

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1rAKDST4HU_8al_aWpOlys3TRJrWvDV-84piVdlOOjU4/edit

00:00 Introduction

01:00 Abbey's Dream House Obsession

02:00 Peter's Awkward Fan Encounter

08:35 Being Judged By Strangers

10:41 Wine Service

16:15 The Awkward Hug Debate

18:25 Is Calling Someone "Babe" Flirting?

20:30 Girls Trips, Planning and Polls

23:00 Stag Do Horror Stories

24:00 Peter's Ideal Stag Do

26:30 The Strip Club Agony Ab

28:35 Abbey's Brutal Relationship Advice

30:31 New Mum Left By Partner

33:14 World Cup Excitement

35:20 Could Therapy Crouch Go To America?

To contact us:

Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetherapycrouchpodcast/

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetherapycrouch

Website: https://thetherapycrouch.com/

For more from Peter

https://twitter.com/petercrouch

For more from Abbey

https://www.instagram.com/abbeyclancy

Our clips channel

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZntcv96YhN8IvMAKsz4Dbg

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Stag Do Confessions, Relationship Boundaries and Abbey’s House Obsession!

On today’s Ask Me Anything episode of The Therapy Crouch, Abbey and Peter are still living their best lives in Portugal as they answer your most random, chaotic and hilarious questions yet. Peter reveals his bizarre talent for recognising footballers from just their forehead, the gang debate whether digestive biscuits have got thinner over the years and Abbey shares the household tasks she absolutely refuses to do.

The conversation quickly spirals into dream movie roles, awkward running styles, questionable farming smells and whether being called “Daddy” in bed really does increase testosterone levels by 300%. There’s also chat about Arctic Monkeys, celebrity acting ambitions, animal births, podcast life behind the scenes and why Abbey would rather play a crackhead than a glamorous role.

If you want to submit an Ask Me Anything question to the podcast - hit the link below

 https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1rAKDST4HU_8al_aWpOlys3TRJrWvDV-84piVdlOOjU4/edit

00:00 Introduction

 01:10 Peter’s Weird Football Knowledge

 04:30 Arctic Monkeys and Music Taste Debate

 07:28 Holiday Advice with TUI

 08:37 The Great Digestive Biscuit Conspiracy

 11:00 What “Normal” Things Are They Bad At?

 15:30 Dream Movie Roles and Acting Ambitions

 20:05 The Farmer Story That Gave Everyone The Ick

 22:00 Farm Smells, Animals and Countryside Chat

 24:00 Animal Births and Kitten Conversations

 26:40 The “Daddy” Debate Gets Out Of Hand

To contact us:

 Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com

 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetherapycrouchpodcast/

 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetherapycrouch

 Website: https://thetherapycrouch.com/

For more from Peter

 https://twitter.com/petercrouch

For more from Abbey

 https://www.instagram.com/abbeyclancy

Our clips channel

 https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZntcv96YhN8IvMAKsz4Dbg

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Could You Leave Everything Behind? Abbey & Peter Weigh In!

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