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Tall or Nothing

Welcome to the Therapy Crouch! The smash hit podcast from Abbey Clancy and Peter Crouch. Join us on our weekly episodes where we will be exploring the trials and tribulations experienced by us, and you the listener, as we navigate our way through complex relationships. 

Enter into our safe space where nothing is off limits and expect some tears, tantrums and plenty of laughs along the way.

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Therapy Crouch

On this week’s episode of The Therapy Crouch, Peter and Abbey dive headfirst into a stream of chaotic anecdotes, seasonal gripes, and painfully relatable British problems sourced straight from Reddit.

From festive meltdowns over £30 advent calendars to public transport germ warfare, the duo unpack it all with their trademark banter and no-holds-barred honesty. Abbey discusses crumpet logistics, while Peter reflects on outrageous public toilets, nostalgic piracy, and QR code culture.

Packed with bizarre encounters, candid parenting confessions, and laugh-out-loud moments, this episode showcases the Crouch household at its most chaotic and most lovable.

00:00 – Crumpet Chaos and HydraFacials

01:10 – Pre-Christmas Parenting Meltdown

02:45 – The Advent Calendar Disaster

04:15 – Facials, Fridges, and Forget Christmas Gifts

05:30 – Horse Riding vs Competition Anxiety

06:20 – Reddit Rants Begin

07:15 – Big Coat Gamble Season

08:45 – Crumpet Dribble & Bearded Hygiene

10:00 – Toilet Trauma Across the UK

11:45 – Strange Friends in Stations

13:00 – Unhinged Dating Shows & Island Obsession

14:15 – QR Code Culture Has Gone Too Far

15:40 – Road Rage & Driving Disasters

17:00 – Grandparents Day Is... a Thing Now?

18:30 – British Rage, Beeping, and Silent Mistakes

20:00 – Wrap Up: Bone Broth & Vitamin D

Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetherapycrouchpodcast

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetherapycrouch 

Website: https://thetherapycrouch.com/ 

For more from Peter

https://twitter.com/petercrouch

For more from Abbey

https://www.instagram.com/abbeyclancy

Our clips channel

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZntcv96YhN8IvMAKsz4Dbg

#TheTherapyCrouch #AbbeyAndPete #BritishProblems #Podcast

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

British Problems Special: Crumpets, Beards & Public Toilets

On this week’s episode of The Therapy Crouch, Abbey and Peter dive headfirst into some of the wildest Instagram threads you’ve heard. With outrageous weekly whines about VR porn addictions and kids who won’t relax with the infamous “Shabba”. Expect fiery debates over Scousers vs. Wools and plant of laugh-out-loud moments.

Things take a more heartfelt turn when they read a moving listener message about how the podcast has genuinely helped someone through a dark time—reminding us all of the power of laughter and connection.

The pair also weigh in on relationship psychology tips from Instagram, parenting debates, and even the dangers of topless selfies popping up mid-work. In the Agony Abs, listeners write in with dilemmas ranging from messy friendship hook-ups to dropping hints for proposals, giving Abbey and Pete plenty to get stuck into with their no-nonsense advice.

00:00 – Outrageous cheating confessions and VR porn horror stories

00:20 – Abbey and Pete banter about fitness setbacks and wanky caviar crumpets

04:24 – Abbey reads a moving listener message about mental health and survival

07:29 – The couple discuss the importance of checking in on loved ones

09:41 – Scousers vs. Wools: the postcode war heats up

13:40 – The “Shabba” parenting nightmare—when kids take things too far

14:26 – VR porn headset thrusting story sparks disbelief

17:06 – Abbey and Pete react to Instagram ‘relationship psychology’ tips

22:08 – The massage vs. masturbation debate takes a hilarious turn

28:02 – Do women really sleep worse next to men?

38:25 – Awkward friendship hookup threatens to ruin everything

42:01 – A listener begs for proposal tips and ring-shopping advice

Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetherapycrouchpodcast

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetherapycrouch 

Website: https://thetherapycrouch.com/ 

For more from Peter

https://twitter.com/petercrouch

For more from Abbey

https://www.instagram.com/abbeyclancy

Our clips channel

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZntcv96YhN8IvMAKsz4Dbg

#TheTherapyCrouch #AbbeyAndPete #RelationshipAdvice #Podcast

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Wild Instagram threads: Marriage Pressure, VR Air-Thrusting & Spicy Work Selfies!

On this week’s episode of The Therapy Crouch, Peter and Abbey open the floor with some cracking Reddit threads in a no-holds-barred Ask Me Anything - where our Ross is BACK (remotely, of course.) From hilarious parenting fails and awkward school WhatsApp groups to nostalgic playground games, heated debates about biscuits, Pringles, and roast dinners, no topic is off-limits.

Peter recalls being banned from the playground for conker wars, while Abbey admits to some unforgettable social blunders. The pair also dive into everyday British frustrations, like parcels gone missing, train etiquette, and the dreaded early Christmas aisle.

With their signature mix of honesty, banter, and oversharing, this AMA proves that nothing is too silly—or too serious—for the Therapy Crouch couch.

00:00 – Intro

00:01:21 – “Sexy secretary” banter and new looks.

00:03:53 – Diving into British Reddit problems.

00:06:39 – The courier who ignored clear instructions.

00:08:10 – Abbey vs the dreaded school WhatsApp group.

00:12:10 – The great British heating debate.

00:14:45 – Vanishing Garibaldi biscuits and Pringle drama.

00:16:42 – The Maldives Pringles disaster.

00:20:30 – Peter banned from the playground for conkers.

00:24:06 – “Ball on the wall” physics lesson gone wrong.

00:27:14 – The worst pregnancy mix-up Abbey’s ever made.

00:35:35 – No one offers a dad with kids a seat on the train.

Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetherapycrouchpodcast

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetherapycrouch 

Website: https://thetherapycrouch.com/ 

For more from Peter

https://twitter.com/petercrouch

For more from Abbey

https://www.instagram.com/abbeyclancy

Our clips channel

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZntcv96YhN8IvMAKsz4Dbg

#TheTherapyCrouch #AbbeyAndPete #RelationshipAdvice #Podcast

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Awkward School WhatsApp Chats, Conker Wars & The Maldives Pringles DISASTER!

On this week’s episode of The Therapy Crouch, Abbey and Peter are back with an Agony Abs Special, where listeners send in their juiciest dilemmas and relationship woes for the pair to solve.

With our beloved Ross under the weather, Sam steps in as substitute co-host, bringing fresh energy (and questionable jokes). From partners refusing to lift a finger around the house, to families torn between moving to the other side of the world, to the heartbreak of cheating boyfriends and whether it’s ever okay to marry three times, nothing is off-limits.

Expect plenty of laughs, heartfelt advice, and even a squirrel invasion horror story that left an entire house destroyed. Plus, Abbey and Pete debate hypothetical moves abroad, relive their own hilarious medical mishaps, and round off with another game of football name pronunciations that leaves Abbey completely baffled.

Drop your well wishes to Ross in the comments!

00:00 – Intro

00:34 – Ross is ill, Sam steps in as co-host

01:34 – Weekly whine: Abbey’s endless phone chats vs Pete’s listening skills

05:03 – Listener dilemma: Doing no chores & avoiding family

09:33 – Listener asks Pete about his sinus surgery

12:17 – A Hawaiian holiday “Shabba” photo moment

15:09 – Squirrel invasion destroys a family home

17:17 – Listener dilemma: Should we move to Australia?

23:01 – Listener dilemma: Boyfriend cheats, she’s left homeless at uni

27:01 – Listener’s husband books dental surgery right before her birthday party

31:08 – Abbey recalls Pete’s groin surgery disaster during childbirth

33:18 – Listener dilemma: Is it embarrassing to marry a third time?

Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetherapycrouchpodcast

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetherapycrouch 

Website: https://thetherapycrouch.com/ 

For more from Peter

https://twitter.com/petercrouch

For more from Abbey

https://www.instagram.com/abbeyclancy

Our clips channel

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZntcv96YhN8IvMAKsz4Dbg

#TheTherapyCrouch #AbbeyAndPete #RelationshipAdvice #Podcast

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Agony Abs Special: Would You Leave EVERYTHING Behind for Australia?

On this week’s episode of The Therapy Crouch, Abbey and Peter are back for another Ask Me Anything where no question is too awkward. From listeners’ most embarrassing school moments (including tissue mishaps and running disasters) to heated debates on whether you’d rather give up sex or booze, nothing is off-limits. The pair share candid stories about commando days, cat pee chaos, and workplace romances gone wrong.

There’s also a sneaky challenge running throughout the episode as Pete and producer Ross try to name as many animals as possible without Abbey catching on. Add in big relationship topics like couples therapy, never-ending household arguments, and the hilarious realities of marriage, and you’ve got an episode packed with brutal honesty, belly laughs, and total chaos.

00:00 – Intro

00:25 – We’re playing a little game today…

00:53 – Abbey and Pete on sports, kids, and tennis rivalries

04:53 – Most embarrassing school memories revealed (tissue boobs, commando, wetting it on track)

10:05 – Abbey’s school tights trick and going commando

10:22 – The cat pee nightmare: curtains, carpets, and chaos

13:00 – Listener dilemma: Shamu the whale in the bath

15:20 – Should EVERY couple try therapy—even happy ones?

19:07 – The animal-naming game goes off the rails

19:34 – Back to school: which subjects would Pete & Abbey smash or fail?

26:07 – The boss crush question—promotion or passion?

30:20 – Would you rather give up booze or sex?

31:59 – Couples arguing about the same things forever—how to cope

Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetherapycrouchpodcast

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetherapycrouch 

Website: https://thetherapycrouch.com/ 

For more from Peter

https://twitter.com/petercrouch

For more from Abbey

https://www.instagram.com/abbeyclancy

Our clips channel

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZntcv96YhN8IvMAKsz4Dbg

#TheTherapyCrouch #AbbeyAndPete #RelationshipAdvice #Podcast

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Are Workplace Romances Harmless Fun or Career-Ending Mistakes?!

On this week’s episode of The Therapy Crouch, Abbey Clancy and Peter Crouch dive into the chaos and comedy of back-to-school season.

From bedtime routines, uniform shopping, and chaotic school runs to WhatsApp mum groups, playground politics, and the dreaded parents’ evenings, Abbey and Peter share the highs, lows, and hilarious mishaps of family life.

They also reflect on media headlines about their relationship, debate whether men should be “good” at bowling, and tackle your Agony Abs dilemmas—including the challenges of a 16-year age gap relationship and whether perfectionism is ruining family hosting.

With plenty of laughs, heartfelt confessions, and back-to-school wisdom, this episode has it all.

00:02:00 – Parents secretly relieved kids are back at school

00:03:10 – Media headlines about Abbey & Peter’s “marriage troubles”

00:06:30 – Abbey’s “Weekly Whine” about TV takeovers

00:10:20 – Abbey’s dream to be cast in a Scouse drama

00:15:30 – Bowling icks and Peter’s footballer bowling memories

00:21:00 – Peter’s new catchphrase: “That’s just what I do”

00:23:00 – Listener Scott on “being comfortable” in marriage

00:28:30 – Abbey’s back-to-school prep obsession

00:32:00 – School run glam vs. pyjama drop-offs

00:40:00 – Playground politics and parents falling out

00:44:00 – Abbey’s words of encouragement for back-to-school families

00:51:00 – Agony Abs: dating a partner 16 years younger

Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetherapycrouchpodcast

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetherapycrouch 

Website: https://thetherapycrouch.com/ 

For more from Peter

https://twitter.com/petercrouch

For more from Abbey

https://www.instagram.com/abbeyclancy

Our clips channel

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZntcv96YhN8IvMAKsz4Dbg

#TheTherapyCrouch #AbbeyAndPete #RelationshipAdvice #Podcast

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Back to School Chaos: Timetables, Tantrums & Total Exhaustion

On this week’s Ask Me Anything, Abbey and Peter are back with another batch of your dilemmas and confessions. From the struggles of life after sport and breakups that cut deep, to navigating big career changes and whether it’s ever okay for kids to sit on iPads during a football match, nothing is off-limits.

Abbey opens up about her hair recovery journey after a salon disaster, while Peter gives his no-nonsense take on love, regret, and why the honeymoon butterflies don’t last forever. There’s also chat about their trip to see Oasis in Dublin, parenting two kids under two, and even a heated debate on Adidas vs Salomon.

Expect hilarious tangents, unfiltered honesty, and surprisingly wise advice from the couple who prove that love, laughter and the odd eye-roll go hand in hand.

If you want to submit an Agony Ab to the podcast – find our email below!

00:00 – Intro

00:27 – Abbey & Peter on Oasis in Dublin with Sophia

04:47 – A retired athlete writes in about heartbreak and loneliness

09:35 – Where to eat and party in Liverpool

12:28 – A listener asks: do we love people or who we become with them?

15:48 – Why humour and honesty keep Abbey & Peter’s love strong

20:05 – The great debate: kids on iPads at football matches

25:16 – A listener faces a massive career change after 27 years

28:00 – From investment banking to OnlyFans…

28:17 – Abbey’s five-hour hair disaster and recovery journey

31:11 – Parenting chaos: coping with two kids under two

34:52 – Adidas vs Salomon

Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetherapycrouchpodcast

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetherapycrouch 

Website: https://thetherapycrouch.com/ 

For more from Peter

https://twitter.com/petercrouch

For more from Abbey

https://www.instagram.com/abbeyclancy

Our clips channel

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZntcv96YhN8IvMAKsz4Dbg

#TheTherapyCrouch #AbbeyAndPete #RelationshipAdvice #Podcast

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

When The Butterflies FADE… Does Long Term Love Lose It’s “Early Days” Excitement?

On this week’s episode of The Therapy Crouch, Peter reveals his brand-new obsession that’s taken over his life—and it’s not football. Abbey fills us in on the family’s holiday, from chaotic poolside flamingo inflatables to witnessing the magical hatching of baby turtles on the beach.

Things get heated when Abbey nearly adopts a stray dog, much to Pete’s horror, and they relive a night out with a Netflix magician who pulled off the most mind-bending tricks they’ve ever seen.

The pair dive into your emails too—covering postcode pride, wedding guest dramas, and schoolyard beefs that never die. In the Agony Abs, Abbey and Pete offer their brutally honest advice to a listener whose boyfriend just can’t stop looking at other women, plus one whose dad is dating a woman younger than them.

And with back-to-school chaos looming, Abbey shares the reality of six suitcases’ worth of washing, labels, and a million pencil cases.

If you want to submit an Agony Ab to the podcast – find our email below!

00:00 – Intro

00:24 – Abbey introduces the episode with holiday gossip

02:13 – Pete reveals he almost chose tennis over football as a kid

03:43 – Abbey and Pete’s night out with a Netflix magician

07:34 – Audience email: the UK’s “most desirable postcodes” game

11:02 – First Everton match

12:08 – Listener story: banning nightmare guests from weddings

13:31 – “Your mum is fat” schoolyard beef story

17:26 – The family’s dreamy (but chaotic) holiday recap

22:33 – Witnessing baby turtles hatching on the beach

25:04 – The stray dog Abbey wanted to adopt

41:11 – Agony Abs: partner caught checking out other women

Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetherapycrouchpodcast

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetherapycrouch 

Website: https://thetherapycrouch.com/ 

For more from Peter

https://twitter.com/petercrouch

For more from Abbey

https://www.instagram.com/abbeyclancy

Our clips channel

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZntcv96YhN8IvMAKsz4Dbg

#TheTherapyCrouch #AbbeyAndPete #RelationshipAdvice #Podcast

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

“She’s Younger Than Me!” – The Awkward Truth About Dad’s New Girlfriend…

On today’s Ask Me Anything episode of The Therapy Crouch, Abbey and Peter dive headfirst into more of your juiciest dilemmas and most awkward confessions.

From disastrous dating stories (including a man who carries his own cutlery to dinner!) to navigating relationship privacy when screenshots of arguments get leaked, the pair give their unfiltered takes with their usual mix of honesty and humour.

Abbey and Pete also tackle questions on whether couples get too comfortable, if scheduling ‘quality time’ is actually romantic or clinical, and the perils of fancying another parent in the school WhatsApp group.

Alongside all the laughter, there are genuine pieces of advice on love, friendship, and keeping the spark alive in long-term relationships. Expect plenty of bickering, banter, and unexpected wisdom in another candid AMA.

00:24 – Introduction to the AMA episode.

05:22 – A shocking dating dilemma: the man who brought his own cutlery.

08:23 – A listener’s text gets leaked to the wrong person—relationship boundaries exposed.

12:43 – Feeling left behind at 34 while friends settle down.

14:14 – Should you fall for your housemate who’s also your best mate’s ex?

18:24 – Do couples get too comfortable with each other over time?

20:43 – Sleeping in separate beds—relationship killer or sleep saver?

23:18 – Scheduled s*x: lifesaver for busy couples or passion destroyer?

26:24 – Why affection outside the bedroom matters more than you think.

26:43 – Flirting in the school parents WhatsApp group—dangerous territory?

29:33 – Wrapping up

Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetherapycrouchpodcast

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetherapycrouch 

Website: https://thetherapycrouch.com/ 

For more from Peter

https://twitter.com/petercrouch

For more from Abbey

https://www.instagram.com/abbeyclancy

Our clips channel

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZntcv96YhN8IvMAKsz4Dbg

#TheTherapyCrouch #AbbeyAndPete #RelationshipAdvice #Podcast

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This One Mistake Will Put You in the Doghouse INSTANTLY!

On this week’s episode of The Therapy Crouch, Abbey and Peter are back with tales from their whirlwind summer of love. From a chaotic French getaway complete with dodgy rental cars, monastery villas, and some very unwanted rodents, to candid chats about home renovations, golf, and bar stools, the pair serve up hilarious bickering and heartfelt moments in equal measure.

Abbey opens up about her dream of making their home the ultimate family hub, while Peter… would rather just leave it as is. They also dive headfirst into matchmaking duties for listeners, reading out profiles from hopeless romantics, divorcees, triathletes, and cat dads (named after cheeses, no less).

Alongside laughs and chaos, the duo share heartfelt advice on young love, the “chase phase” in dating, long-distance relationships, and even what to do if your 25-year-old life plans go haywire overnight…

00:00 – The chaos begins: Abbey’s hungover, Peter’s defensive

02:00 – The great home renovation debate: move vs. makeover

07:00 – Abbey vs. Peter’s French trip fallout

10:00 – Listener letter: a podcast that changed a woman’s life

14:00 – Sophia’s tennis triumph in France

18:00 – Peter gets papped: the “age-defying physique” debate

20:00 – Abbey’s horror at rats outside their French villa

23:00 – Abbey’s airplane matchmaking attempt

27:00 – Listener profile: the “Earth Angel” in search of love

30:00 – The caravan “anal” game and Peter’s disgust

39:00 – Listener dilemma: 56-year-old divorcee looking for love

44:00 – Young listener’s breakup dilemma and the importance of honesty

Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetherapycrouchpodcast

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetherapycrouch 

Website: https://thetherapycrouch.com/ 

For more from Peter

https://twitter.com/petercrouch

For more from Abbey

https://www.instagram.com/abbeyclancy

Our clips channel

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZntcv96YhN8IvMAKsz4Dbg

#TheTherapyCrouch #AbbeyAndPete #RelationshipAdvice #Podcast

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

British Problems Special: Crumpets, Beards & Public Toilets

Lyt når som helst, hvor som helst

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