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Tall or Nothing

Welcome to the Therapy Crouch! The smash hit podcast from Abbey Clancy and Peter Crouch. Join us on our weekly episodes where we will be exploring the trials and tribulations experienced by us, and you the listener, as we navigate our way through complex relationships. 

Enter into our safe space where nothing is off limits and expect some tears, tantrums and plenty of laughs along the way.

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Therapy Crouch

On today’s Ask Me Anything episode of The Therapy Crouch, Abbey and Peter are still living their best lives in Portugal as they answer your most random, chaotic and hilarious questions yet. Peter reveals his bizarre talent for recognising footballers from just their forehead, the gang debate whether digestive biscuits have got thinner over the years and Abbey shares the household tasks she absolutely refuses to do.

The conversation quickly spirals into dream movie roles, awkward running styles, questionable farming smells and whether being called “Daddy” in bed really does increase testosterone levels by 300%. There’s also chat about Arctic Monkeys, celebrity acting ambitions, animal births, podcast life behind the scenes and why Abbey would rather play a crackhead than a glamorous role.

If you want to submit an Ask Me Anything question to the podcast - hit the link below

 https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1rAKDST4HU_8al_aWpOlys3TRJrWvDV-84piVdlOOjU4/edit

00:00 Introduction

 01:10 Peter’s Weird Football Knowledge

 04:30 Arctic Monkeys and Music Taste Debate

 07:28 Holiday Advice with TUI

 08:37 The Great Digestive Biscuit Conspiracy

 11:00 What “Normal” Things Are They Bad At?

 15:30 Dream Movie Roles and Acting Ambitions

 20:05 The Farmer Story That Gave Everyone The Ick

 22:00 Farm Smells, Animals and Countryside Chat

 24:00 Animal Births and Kitten Conversations

 26:40 The “Daddy” Debate Gets Out Of Hand

To contact us:

 Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com

 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetherapycrouchpodcast/

 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetherapycrouch

 Website: https://thetherapycrouch.com/

For more from Peter

 https://twitter.com/petercrouch

For more from Abbey

 https://www.instagram.com/abbeyclancy

Our clips channel

 https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZntcv96YhN8IvMAKsz4Dbg

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Abbey Wants To Play A Crackhead In A Movie?!

On today’s episode of The Therapy Crouch, Abbey and Peter are back in Portugal and things descend into chaos almost immediately as Pete gets called out for his bizarre podcast habits, the couple debate whether men dress like toddlers on holiday and Abbey relives her iconic school lunch era involving giant sandwiches, wham bars and borrowing 20p from classmates for dinner.

The Agony Abs are particularly unhinged this week as the team discuss whether a grown man letting his mum trim his toenails is the ultimate relationship ick, before tackling a wedding guest dilemma involving cheating, exes and potential reception carnage. Pete also reveals his strict “no dickhead policy” for weddings and why some guests simply have to go.

There’s also a surprise guest appearance that completely changes the mood of the podcast and leaves the whole room unexpectedly relaxed. The gang chat stress, burnout, sleep struggles and why certain voices instantly calm you down… while others do the exact opposite.

Plus, football flight tracking, weird family beauty treatments, podcast breathing complaints and why Abbey thinks Peter has officially become too calm.

If you want to submit an Agony Ab to the podcast - hit the link below

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1rAKDST4HU_8al_aWpOlys3TRJrWvDV-84piVdlOOjU4/edit

00:00 Introduction

 02:47 Morning Routine Chaos

 06:26 Peter’s Podcast “Ick”

 11:45 The Toenail Debate

 16:35 Tracking Football Flights

 18:54 Surprise Guest Arrival

 26:43 The Meditation Session

 32:34 The Sleep Hot Chocolate Idea

 35:12 Calm Voices & Marriage

 37:39 Wedding Guest Drama

 41:18 Peter’s “No Dickhead” Wedding Policy

 42:21 Jealousy In Relationships

To contact us:

Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com

Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/thetherapycrouchpodcast/

TikTok:

https://www.tiktok.com/@thetherapycrouch

Website:

https://thetherapycrouch.com/

For more from Peter

https://twitter.com/petercrouch

For more from Abbey

https://www.instagram.com/abbeyclancy

Our clips channel

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZntcv96YhN8IvMAKsz4Dbg

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Guest That Accidentally Put The Podcast To Sleep!

On today’s Ask Me Anything episode of The Therapy Crouch, Abbey and Peter are back in Portugal answering your dilemmas and diving into absolute chaos from start to finish. From debating whether three dogs is officially too many, to navigating awkward step-parenting moments and hilarious regional slang debates, this episode has a bit of everything.

The pair also open up about family life and the emotional reality of living far away from parents as one listener asks for advice about moving abroad and missing home. Abbey shares why she’d never cope with the kids leaving home while Peter reveals the lockdown-style family traditions he’d bring back in a heartbeat.

Elsewhere, the GCSE debate returns as listeners question whether Abbey really got the grades she claims, leading to a full-on interrogation from Peter and the team... Are we saying foul play? 

There’s also audiobook confessions, freezing cold Portugal weather complaints, and a lot of discussion about “freezies”, “ice pops” and “lolly ice” that completely derails the episode.

If you want to submit an Agony Ab to the podcast - hit the link below

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1rAKDST4HU_8al_aWpOlys3TRJrWvDV-84piVdlOOjU4/edit

00:00 Introduction

01:58 Should We Get Another Dog?

04:43 Step Parenting Drama

08:00 Regional Slang Arguments

11:55 Missing Family While Living Abroad

15:43 Audiobook Confessions

18:09 Abbey’s GCSEs Back Under Investigation

To contact us:

Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com

Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/thetherapycrouchpodcast/

TikTok:

https://www.tiktok.com/@thetherapycrouch

Website:

https://thetherapycrouch.com/

For more from Peter

https://twitter.com/petercrouch

For more from Abbey

https://www.instagram.com/abbeyclancy

Our clips channel

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZntcv96YhN8IvMAKsz4Dbg

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

“You Can Shove Your Puppies…” Portugal AMA Gets Wild!

On today’s episode of The Therapy Crouch, Abbey and Peter are still living their best lives in Portugal… although Pete’s ego may have taken a slight battering after a disastrous mixed doubles tennis tournament against a group of senior citizens who absolutely wiped the floor with him. Abbey wastes no time exposing exactly what went wrong, including Pete’s “respectful” approach that spectacularly backfired.

The couple also dive into one of the biggest causes of relationship tension — diary planning. From golf days and family logistics to who really controls the calendar at home, Abbey explains why every single plan now has to go through Claire before marital chaos erupts. Plus, the gang discuss relationship “icks”, going upstairs two at a time, hobbies couples should definitely keep separate, and whether Oasis officially counts as “Dad Rock”.

Elsewhere, Abbey reveals her surprising obsession with David Beckham’s vegetable garden and chickens, Peter reminisces about Oasis nostalgia and Desert Island albums, and the team debate what books and music they’d take if stranded forever. There’s also talk of reality TV habits, holiday advice, and why some things are simply better enjoyed without your partner.

00:00 Portugal Detox & Party Recovery

 01:14 Peter Gets Humbled At Tennis

 03:00 “Consistency Is Key In Tennis”

 04:31 Ross Update & Listener Messages

 04:58 Abbey Hates Seeing Pete Lose

 05:26 Abbey’s Fear Of Tennis Lessons

 06:27 Abbey Opens Up About Childhood & Sport

 07:20 Abbey vs Peter: Ultimate Sports Day

 08:31 The Couple Argument Everyone Has

 10:11 Abbey’s Strict Family Diary System

 12:03 Why Busy Couples Always Clash

 12:49 The Weirdest Relationship Ick

 13:28 Running Up Stairs Debate

 15:14 Abbey Reveals Her Biggest Insecurity

 15:45 Abbey Discovers A “Normal” Listener

 16:26 Abbey’s Celebrity Lookalike Debate

 18:05 Couples Sharing Hobbies Goes Wrong

 19:14 TV Shows They Refuse To Watch Together

 20:37 Hunger Games & Comfort Movies

 21:39 The Best Holiday Advice Ever

 22:52 Tail’s.com Ad Read

 24:28 Desert Island Dilemmas Begin

 25:35 The One Book They’d Save Forever

 27:31 Roald Dahl & Childhood Reading Memories

 28:07 Abbey’s Disturbing Book Confession

 30:15 The Secret To Getting Kids Reading

 30:55 Desert Island Albums

 31:41 Oasis, Nostalgia & Dad Rock Arguments

 34:04 Abbey’s Beckham Garden Obsession

 35:34 Doomscrolling & “Ignorance Is Bliss”

 36:19 Peter’s James Bond Fantasy Life

 36:40 Peter’s Visit To Eton

 37:49 Inside Eton’s Incredible Traditions

 39:15 What Makes Privileged Kids Different?

 41:02 The Reality Of Elite Schools

 42:40 The Team Debate Luxury & Success

 44:18 What They’d Actually Miss On A Desert Island

 46:03 Desert Island Guilty Pleasures

 47:51 Holiday Packing Essentials

 49:20 Things Couples Secretly Judge Each Other For

 51:08 Their Most Addictive Habits

 52:44 Listener Dilemmas Return

 54:33 Final Portugal Reflections

 56:17 End

To contact us:

Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetherapycrouchpodcast/

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetherapycrouch

Website: https://thetherapycrouch.com/

For more from Peter

https://twitter.com/petercrouch

For more from Abbey

https://www.instagram.com/abbeyclancy

Our clips channel

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZntcv96YhN8IvMAKsz4Dbg

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Peter Gets DESTROYED By Pensioners! Abbey Exposes His Portugal Tennis Disaster

On today’s episode of The Therapy Crouch, Pete is flying solo for a special AMA throwback as he revisits some of the funniest, weirdest and most chaotic moments from old episodes of the podcast. With Abbey away volunteering at an animal shelter (genuinely), Pete dives into a handpicked selection of listener questions that completely derailed the pod over the years.

We hear the infamous debate over whether it’s “Shaba” or “Shava”, a surprisingly deep conversation about losing memories, and one listener’s dilemma about open relationships that sparks absolute carnage in the studio. Pete also looks back on romantic getaway recommendations, cowboy fantasy holidays, and one brutal question that forces him to choose between golf… and Abbey.

As always, the AMA questions are carrying the podcast once again and Pete admits looking back at the old clips genuinely had him crying laughing.

00:00 Solo AMA Begins

00:35 Pete Revisits Old Podcast Clips

01:28 The Brutal Memory Loss Question

03:04 “Shaba” vs “Shava” Debate

05:33 Chaos Completely Takes Over

06:00 Romantic Break Recommendations

07:50 Italy, Rain and Cowboy Holidays

08:52 Open Relationships Discussion

11:38 Golf Or Abbey? The Ultimate Question

13:00 Pete Reflects On The AMA Chaos

To contact us:

Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetherapycrouchpodcast/

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetherapycrouch

Website: https://thetherapycrouch.com/

For more from Peter

https://twitter.com/petercrouch

For more from Abbey

https://www.instagram.com/abbeyclancy

Our clips channel

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZntcv96YhN8IvMAKsz4Dbg

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Remember These Therapy Crouch Moments? Pete Does…

On today’s episode of The Therapy Crouch, the Portugal adventures continue as Abbey and Peter settle into holiday life with VERY mixed results. Peter gives us the dramatic rundown after suffering a painful defeat on the tennis court while Abbey reveals she’s been volunteering at an incredible animal rescue centre in the Algarve and may have fallen in love with another dog… again.

Elsewhere, Pete finally gets his hands on Abbey’s GCSE certificates after years of doubting her straight A claims, but is he convinced they’re actually real?! We also dive into some absolutely bizarre conspiracy theories involving Flat Earth believers, robot birds, AI taking over the world and whether Bill Gates is secretly behind EVERYTHING.

In the Agony Abs, we hear from a listener whose mother-in-law keeps secretly rearranging her house and another who’s completely horrified by her husband’s “helicopter” habits after showering…

If you want to submit an Agony Ab to the podcast - hit the link below

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1rAKDST4HU_8al_aWpOlys3TRJrWvDV-84piVdlOOjU4/edit

00:00 Introduction

01:05 Pete’s Brutal Tennis Defeat

04:35 Abbey’s Emotional Animal Rescue Story

10:20 Abbey’s “Straight A” GCSE Results Exposed

13:35 Abbey’s Secret Pop Star Dreams

14:05 “Blue Jobs” & Relationship Rules

15:00 Portugal Reset & Family Time

15:30 Would You Rather: Meet Dave

17:20 Mother-In-Law House Drama

20:10 The Helicopter Husband Confession

23:20 Reuniting With A School Bully

25:55 Conspiracy Theory Special Begins

26:20 “Birds Aren’t Real” Debate

27:55 Bill Gates & Tick Conspiracies

29:10 Flat Earth Theory Explained

32:40 AI Is Taking Over The World

33:15 Abbey Has Never Owned A Laptop

34:05 Was The Moon Landing Fake?!

35:55 Pete Questions Space Travel

39:30 Final Conspiracy Thoughts

50:20 Wrapping Up

To contact us:

Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetherapycrouchpodcast/

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetherapycrouch

Website: https://thetherapycrouch.com/

For more from Peter

https://twitter.com/petercrouch

For more from Abbey

https://www.instagram.com/abbeyclancy/

Our clips channel

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZntcv96YhN8IvMAKsz4Dbg

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Conspiracy Theories Get WEIRD! Flat Earths, AI Takeovers and Robot Birds!

On today’s episode of The Therapy Crouch, we’re back for another Ask Me Anything and things get unexpectedly heated… over PAINT. Abbey Clancy and Peter Crouch dive into a listener dilemma about kitchen colours, which quickly spirals into a full-blown debate on Abbey’s obsession with the infamous “bone” shade. From “50 shades of bone” to Peter questioning his entire marriage contract, it’s chaos from the start.

Abbey leans into her interior design expertise, dropping surprisingly detailed recommendations (and proving she definitely knows her stuff), while Peter isn’t entirely convinced—especially when talk turns to gold floral wallpaper and dream living rooms. The pair clash over style, money, and what really matters when building a home, leading to a deeper conversation about whether a house is just a house… or something much more meaningful.

Plus, the gang answer your questions on relationships, from navigating design disagreements with your partner to planning the perfect 15-year anniversary without breaking the bank—featuring some seriously tempting travel tips (Greece might be calling…). Expect laughs, honesty, and a glimpse into how differently couples can see the same life decisions.

If you want to submit an Agony Ab to the podcast - hit the link below

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1rAKDST4HU_8al_aWpOlys3TRJrWvDV-84piVdlOOjU4/edit

00:00 Introduction

02:20 Kitchen Colour Dilemma & “Bone” Debate

05:30 Abbey’s Interior Design Tips

07:30 Dream Home Disagreements

09:45 Passion vs “High Maintenance”

10:45 What Makes a House a Home?

12:10 Beds, Sleep & Luxury Must-Haves

13:00 15-Year Anniversary Dilemma

14:00 Budget Travel & Greece Recommendations

18:00 Relationships, Marriage & What Matters

23:00 Final Thoughts & Outro

To contact us:

Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetherapycrouchpodcast/

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/

@thetherapycrouch

Website: https://thetherapycrouch.com/

For more from Peter

https://twitter.com/petercrouch

For more from Abbey

https://www.instagram.com/abbeyclancy

Our clips channel

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZntcv96YhN8IvMAKsz4Dbg

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Peter Crouch: “I Didn’t Sign Up For This” — Home Style Debate

On today’s episode of The Therapy Crouch, the Portugal trip rolls on as the gang battle through hangovers, questionable decisions and some seriously strong opinions on relationships. After a heavy night, the boys are feeling it as they dive into everything from airport pints and junk food cravings to the strange “punishment” dynamic that can creep into relationships after having a bit too much fun.

Things quickly spiral into one of the funniest and most chaotic ick discussions yet – including a barber chair moment that might just be the greatest ick of all time. The team also tackle your dilemmas, from navigating life after a breakup to whether giving your ex money after winning the lottery makes you a terrible person… or just a decent human being.

Plus, in Am I The A**hole, things get heated as the group debate workplace drama, relationship boundaries and the fine line between banter and going too far.

If you want to submit an Agony Ab to the podcast - hit the link below

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1rAKDST4HU_8al_aWpOlys3TRJrWvDV-84piVdlOOjU4/edit

00:00 Introduction / Hangover Fallout

 01:42 Service Station Food & Matcha Rant

 04:04 Bovril, Football & Stadium Rules

 06:28 Random Chat & Set-Up

 07:05 You Had Fun? Now You’re Punished

 10:15 Listener Messages Begin

 10:46 Barber Chair Story (All-Time Moment)

 13:40 “That’s What I Do” & Tangents

 16:22 Agony Ab: Newly Single Advice

 19:50 Transition / Segment Change

 20:00 Am I The A**hole Returns

 20:31 Lottery Win & Ex-Wife Drama

 23:50 Debate: Is He In The Wrong?

 25:45 “Tig Bitties” Story

 28:15 Naming Kids & Inappropriate Jokes

 28:20 Workplace Drama: Slim vs Chunky

 32:00 Body Comments Debate

 34:30 Escalation / Final Thoughts on Topic

To contact us:

Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetherapycrouchpodcast/

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/

 @thetherapycrouch

Website: https://thetherapycrouch.com/

For more from Peter

https://twitter.com/petercrouch

For more from Abbey

https://www.instagram.com/abbeyclancy

Our clips channel

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZntcv96YhN8IvMAKsz4Dbg

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You Had Fun? Now You’re In Trouble… Relationship Truths Get REAL

On today’s episode of The Therapy Crouch, the Portugal Series continues with another chaotic Ask Me Anything as Abbey and Peter answer your questions and accidentally reveal some huge family plans.

The couple open up about deciding to move house after ten years, why they’re ready for a fresh chapter, and Abbey’s dream of more land, animals, growing vegetables and creating the ultimate family home. Peter also gives his honest take on Abbey wanting what sounds suspiciously like a private compound.

Elsewhere, the pair discuss dream homes, luxury interiors, tattoos, terrible cooking disasters and why men simply cannot resist touching things as they walk past them.

There’s also a touching message from a listener whose week was made easier during a difficult hospital stay thanks to the podcast.

Expect laughs, honesty, relationship chaos and classic Therapy Crouch energy throughout.

If you want to submit an Agony Ab to the podcast - hit the link below

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1rAKDST4HU_8al_aWpOlys3TRJrWvDV-84piVdlOOjU4/edit

00:00 Introduction

00:45 Easter Bunny Chaos

03:10 We’re Moving House

04:30 Abbey’s Compound Plan

06:00 Why Food Tastes Better Abroad

09:00 Cooking Disaster Stories

13:00 Tattoos Debate

16:20 Dream Home Must-Haves

18:35 Emotional Listener Message

To contact us:

Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetherapycrouchpodcast/

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetherapycrouch

Website: https://thetherapycrouch.com/

For more from Peter

https://twitter.com/petercrouch

For more from Abbey

https://www.instagram.com/abbeyclancy

Our clips channel

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZntcv96YhN8IvMAKsz4Dbg

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Abbey and Peter Reveal Why Food Abroad Tastes Better | Ask Me Anything!

On today’s episode of The Therapy Crouch, Abbey and Peter are back in Portugal for part two of their sunny getaway, but there’s no peace and quiet in sight. Abbey wastes no time exposing Peter for turning the family holiday into a full-blown sports tour, with golf, paddle, football and post-match beers all somehow making the itinerary ahead of family time. Peter, naturally, insists it’s all part of his passion for sport.

The couple then get into a surprisingly honest and hilarious debate about why football brings men together so easily, and whether women have anything that creates the same kind of instant bond. Peter reflects on his emotional return to Liverpool for the Legends match and why sport has always been his escape, while Abbey explains exactly why golf sends her over the edge.

Later on, things descend into total chaos with a Portugal-themed quiz involving capitals, custard tarts and some wildly confident wrong answers. Sunshine, arguments, emotional moments and complete nonsense… just another day on The Therapy Crouch.

If you want to submit an Agony Ab to the podcast - hit the link below

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1rAKDST4HU_8al_aWpOlys3TRJrWvDV-84piVdlOOjU4/edit

Plus, more holiday dilemmas, in this episode Abbey and Pete welcome back listeners Lana and Jeanette, to help them plan their TUI holiday. Booking T&Cs apply. ATOL and ABTA protected.

https://www.tui.co.uk/

00:00 Introduction

03:00 Peter’s Injury & Competitive Nature

08:40 Why Liverpool Means So Much

14:03 Abbey Calls Out Peter’s Holiday Behaviour

16:25 Why Men Bond Over Football

27:21 Abbey vs Peter On Golf

30:43 Sport & Mental Health

32:18 “Look… It’s Dusk” Chaos

45:14 The Portugal Quiz Begins

51:00 Capitals Challenge Meltdown

54:58 Outro

To contact us:

Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetherapycrouchpodcast/

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetherapycrouch

Website: https://thetherapycrouch.com/

For more from Peter

https://twitter.com/petercrouch

For more from Abbey

https://www.instagram.com/abbeyclancy

Our clips channel

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZntcv96YhN8IvMAKsz4Dbg

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Abbey and Peter Reveal Why Food Abroad Tastes Better | Ask Me Anything!

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