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Lyt når som helst, hvor som helst 

The Gray Area with Sean Illing takes a philosophy-minded look at culture, technology, politics, and the world of ideas. Each week, we invite a guest to explore a question or topic that matters. From the the state of democracy, to the struggle with depression and anxiety, to the nature of identity in the digital age, each episode looks for nuance and honesty in the most important conversations of our time. New episodes drop every Monday. From the Vox Media Podcast Network.

The Gray Area with Sean Illing

If you could change anything about your personality, anything at all, what would it be? And why would you want to change it?

Writer Olga Khazan spent a year trying to answer those questions, and documented the experience in her new book Me, But Better: The Science and Promise of Personality Change.

In this episode, which originally aired in March of 2025, Sean speaks with Olga about the science of personality change, the work it takes to change yourself, and what makes up a personality, anyway.

Host: Sean Illing (@SeanIlling)

Guest: Olga Khazan, author of Me, But Better: The Science and Promise of Personality Change.

We would love to hear from you. To tell us what you thought of this episode, email us at thegrayarea@vox.com or leave us a voicemail at 1-800-214-5749. Your comments and questions help us make a better show.

And you can watch new episodes of The Gray Area on YouTube. New episodes drop every Monday and Friday.

Listen to The Gray Area ad-free by becoming a Vox Member: vox.com/members

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

How to be less neurotic

We’ve all heard that "sitting is the new smoking," but the research behind that phrase goes much deeper. How bad is sitting for you really?

In this episode guest host Bryan Walsh is joined by Manoush Zomorodi — host of NPR’s TED Radio Hour and author of Body Electric — to explore how our sedentary, screen-filled lives are reshaping our physical health from the neck down. Manoush shares findings from her own clinical trial, where she partnered with scientists to determine the minimum amount of movement the human body actually needs to function.

Whether you're a desk jockey or a parent concerned about screen time, this conversation offers a practical, science-backed approach to reclaiming your physical health in a digital world.

Guest Host: Bryan Walsh, Senior writer, Coefficient Giving

Guest: Manoush Zomorodi, Host, TED Radio Hour and author of Body Electric.

We would love to hear from you. To tell us what you thought of this episode, email us at thegrayarea@vox.com or leave us a voicemail at 1-800-214-5749. Your comments and questions help us make a better show.

And you can watch new episodes of The Gray Area on YouTube. New episodes drop every Monday and Friday.

Listen to The Gray Area ad-free by becoming a Vox Member: vox.com/members
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Your body wasn’t built for a desk

Are we truly alone in the universe? Despite the lack of hard evidence, belief in aliens and UFOs, officially known as Unidentified Anomalous Phenomena (UAP), has shifted from the fringes to the center of mainstream culture.

In this episode of The Gray Area, host Jonquilyn Hill is joined by Adam Kirsch, senior editor at The Atlantic and author of the new book We Want to Believe: How Aliens Went Mainstream and Why It Matters.

They explore why our fascination with extraterrestrial life persists and what that need to believe tells us about our current relationship with authority, scientific expertise, and even spirituality. The search for aliens has become the ultimate self-portrait of humanity.

Host: Jonquilyn Hill, host of Explain It To Me

Guest: Adam Kirsch, Senior editor, The Atlantic and author of We Want to Believe

We would love to hear from you. To tell us what you thought of this episode, email us at thegrayarea@vox.com or leave us a voicemail at 1-800-214-5749. Your comments and questions help us make a better show.

And you can watch new episodes of The Gray Area on YouTube. New episodes drop every Monday and Friday.

Listen to The Gray Area ad-free by becoming a Vox Member: vox.com/members

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Why we want to believe in aliens

Have you noticed the bad vibes around dating lately? Whether you’re swiping on apps or scrolling through social media, it’s easy to feel like the romantic landscape has become a battleground — at least, for the heterosexual among us. This pervasive feeling of hopelessness and negativity — often called "hetero-pessimism" — is everywhere. But is this cynicism the actual picture, or is it just another digital trap?

In this episode of The Gray Area, host Jonquilyn Hill is joined by Magdalene J. Taylor, senior editor at Playboy. Together, they dissect why we’ve become so hostile towards straight dating, the disconnect between our online expectations and real-world reality, and why Magdalene is making a radical case for "hetero optimism."

Host: Jonquilyn Hill, host of Explain It To Me

Guest: Magdalene J. Taylor, senior editor for Playboy

We would love to hear from you. To tell us what you thought of this episode, email us at thegrayarea@vox.com or leave us a voicemail at 1-800-214-5749. Your comments and questions help us make a better show.

And you can watch new episodes of The Gray Area on YouTube.

Listen to The Gray Area ad-free by becoming a Vox Member: vox.com/members
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Straight dating isn’t broken

Is it ever okay to put a price on a kidney? Why is it illegal to sell an organ, but perfectly legal to sell blood plasma? This episode explores the world of "repugnant transactions" — the markets we find morally offensive — and asks why we ban certain markets as "gross" or "unethical" while ignoring others that might cause more harm.

In this episode of The Gray Area, host Bryan Walsh sits down with Nobel laureate Alvin Roth, who wrote the recent book Moral Economics, to discuss how markets are the key to understanding our most deeply held social values. They break down why society chooses to ban certain transactions, how those choices affect real lives, and whether we can use "market design" to save people without violating our ethical standards.

Host: Bryan Walsh, Vox Editorial Director

Guest: Alvin Roth, Professor of Economics at Stanford University and author of Moral Economics: From Prostitution to Organ Sales, What Controversial Transactions Reveal About How Markets Work.

We would love to hear from you. To tell us what you thought of this episode, email us at thegrayarea@vox.com or leave us a voicemail at 1-800-214-5749. Your comments and questions help us make a better show.

And you can watch new episodes of The Gray Area on YouTube. New episodes drop every Monday and Friday.

Listen to The Gray Area ad-free by becoming a Vox Member: vox.com/members.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Kidneys for sale

We like to think of memory as a record of the past. But that’s not really what it is. Memory doesn’t keep the past — it can also remake it. It stitches fragments into stories, and those stories — true or not — are what we end up calling our life, and sometimes, our collective history.

Today’s episode is a rerun of an interview that originally published last year with Charan Ranganath, a neuroscientist and author of a book called Why We Remember. The two discuss the strange alchemy of remembering and how the stories our minds create end up creating us.

Host: Sean Illing (@SeanIlling)

Guest: Charan Ranganath, neuroscientist and author of Why We Remember

We would love to hear from you. To tell us what you thought of this episode, email us at thegrayarea@vox.com or leave us a voicemail at 1-800-214-5749. Your comments and questions help us make a better show.

And you can watch new episodes of The Gray Area on YouTube.

Listen to The Gray Area ad-free by becoming a Vox Member: vox.com/members
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

How memory changes you

Sigmund Freud is probably the most famous psychoanalyst. Yet many of his theories have been critiqued or discredited. So is there anything we can still learn from the father of psychoanalysis?

In today’s episode Sean speaks with professor Mark Solms, author of The Only Cure: Freud and the Neuroscience of Mental Healing. Mark argues that while Freud may have been wrong about many things, he was right about one important thing: the human mind cannot be fully understood on purely biological terms. He believes that modern psychiatry has become focused on treating mental suffering like a chemical problem, instead of focusing on emotional and psychological aspects.

Sean and Mark discuss the conscious versus the unconscious mind, whether psychoanalysis is the best therapy, and why Freud is still relevant today.

We would love to hear from you. To tell us what you thought of this episode, email us at thegrayarea@vox.com or leave us a voicemail at 1-800-214-5749. Your comments and questions help us make a better show.

And you can watch new episodes of The Gray Area on YouTube.

Listen to The Gray Area ad-free by becoming a Vox Member: vox.com/members

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Freud was right about one thing

The internet is rife with chatter about “heteropessimism,” the feeling that gender relations are broken and heterosexual relationships are doomed. But is this just cynical discourse, like a coping mechanism for bad dates? Or is this a symptom of a much deeper, systemic breakdown?

In this episode of The Gray Area, guest host Jonquilyn Hill is joined by Sarah Jones, senior writer for The Intelligencer. Together, they peel back the performative irony to look at the harsh realities of dating in a post-Dobbs, politically volatile United States.

From the economic structures that make leaving bad relationships feel impossible, to the "manosphere" versus the "pink pill," Sarah and Jonquilyn discuss why we are struggling to connect — and why "hopeful pessimism" might be the most responsible way to build a future.

Host: Jonquilyn Hill, host of Explain It To Me

Guest: Sarah Jones, senior writer, IntelligencerWe would love to hear from you. To tell us what you thought of this episode, email us at thegrayarea@vox.com or leave us a voicemail at 1-800-214-5749.

Your comments and questions help us make a better show.

And you can watch new episodes of The Gray Area on YouTube.

Listen to The Gray Area ad-free by becoming a Vox Member: vox.com/members

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Why straight dating feels bleak

What happens when we read less? What does that do to our ability to understand complex ideas, or even think for ourselves?In today’s episode, guest host Jonquilyn Hill speaks with Atlantic staff writer Rose Horowitch. In her recent cover story, Rose argues that we are entering a postliterate age. Although we’re surrounded by text — like emails, text messages, and notifications — we no longer have an interest in reading longer, book-length content.

Jonquilyn and Rose discuss how the digital age has transformed the way we consume information, what deep reading teaches us that scrolling can't, and how being postliterate is changing our politics and culture.

We would love to hear from you. To tell us what you thought of this episode, email us at thegrayarea@vox.com or leave us a voicemail at 1-800-214-5749. Your comments and questions help us make a better show.

And you can watch new episodes of The Gray Area on YouTube.

Listen to The Gray Area ad-free by becoming a Vox Member: vox.com/members

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We’re postliterate

The Gray Area is taking a short break this week — but we’ve got something special for you.

We’re dropping an episode from one of our favorite podcasts, Unexplainable. In it, host Noam Hassenfeld and Vox senior reporter Sigal Samuel explore one of the biggest dilemmas facing growing families: How much should parents decide about their children’s future from prenatal testing alone? Noam and Sigal wrestle with the moral dilemmas surrounding genetic testing, parental choice, and the limitations of trying to predict the future.

Host: Noam Hassenfeld, Host of Unexplainable

Guest: Sigal Samuel, Vox Senior Reporter

Listen to more Unexplainable episodes here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/unexplainable/id1554578197Read Sigal’s advice column here: https://www.vox.com/future-perfect/459003/designer-babies-embryo-selection-polygenic-testing-ethics 

We would love to hear from you. To tell us what you thought of this episode, email us at thegrayarea@vox.com or leave us a voicemail at 1-800-214-5749. Your comments and questions help us make a better show.

And you can watch new episodes of The Gray Area on YouTube.

Listen to The Gray Area ad-free by becoming a Vox Member: vox.com/members
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What does a parent owe their child?

Vox's Sean Illing talks with Elizabeth Bruenig about how hard it is to forgive, how to balance our desire for justice with our humanity, and about how the age-old moral framework of forgiveness has met new challenges in the modern forum of social media.

Host: Sean Illing (@seanilling), Interviews Writer, Vox
Guest: Elizabeth Bruenig (@ebruenig), staff writer, The Atlantic
References: 

“Not that Innocent” by Elizabeth Bruenig (The Atlantic; June 9)

“The Man I Saw Them Kill” by Elizabeth Bruenig (New York Times; Dec. 17, 2020)

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This episode was made by: 

Producer: Erikk Geannikis

Editor: Amy Drozdowska

Engineer: Paul Robert Mounsey

VP, Vox Audio: Liz Kelly Nelson

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How to forgive

Lyt når som helst, hvor som helst

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