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Focus on the Family

Life is challenging for Christian singles. How do you balance work and personal life? How do you own your faith? How can you date with a purpose? And prepare for marriage? All while honoring God through it all? Hit up The Boundless Show, a Christian podcast for young adults, for some good, honest conversation. The young adult years are full of possibility and choices that shape who you become. Join host Lisa Anderson to discuss the highs and lows, lean on each other, and trust God in this important season of adulthood.

The Boundless Show

How dating impacts other relationships, plus navigating changes in your doctrinal beliefs, and a commitment-phobe’s guide to serving at church. 
 
Featured musical artist: Abandon
 
Roundtable: Maintaining Friendships While Dating
 
It happens all too often: You have great friendships and a robust social life. You’re involved in church and maybe even have a mentor. But soon after you start dating, things change. You spend more and more time with your bf or gf, and other relationships start to fade. You don’t think you have time for them. You’re so caught up in this new person that other people take a back seat. Some changes are expected, but what does it look like to date and navigate engagement in a way that still preserves the other important relationships in your life? Our panel weighs in. 
 
Watch This Segment on YouTube
 
Send Us Your Show Ideas
 
Leave Us a Voicemail
 
Culture: Why Doctrine Matters
 
A listener recently contacted us, saying some of their Christians beliefs on secondary issues have changed since childhood. Now they’re wondering how to have conversations about these topics (baptism, worship styles, election, etc.) with their friends and family members. Pastor Mark Bates shares how to approach doctrinal topics with grace while keeping your focus on unity in the body of Christ. 
 
True Community: The Biblical Practice of Koinonia 
 
Inbox: I Want to Serve but Am Afraid to Commit 
 
Our listener wants to start serving at church but is afraid to commit to a church home. What’s the core issue here? Pastor Vince Hoppe offers advice. 
 
Find us on YouTube

Dating and Friendship: Episode 915

A beginner’s guide to camping, plus David Mathis on honoring God with our fitness, and should you date coworkers? 
 
Featured musical artist: Hollyn
 
Roundtable: Camping for Average People
 
Camping is a fun outdoor activity to do with friends and family, but if you don’t know what you’re doing it can be pretty intimidating. What should you pack? How do you cook food? Should you go with expert campers or strike out on your own? Our guests have experience pitching tents, sitting by campfires, and seeing the stars at night — but they all consider themselves “average” campers in ability and know-how. They’ll provide attainable tips for your next camping trip, especially if you’re a beginner. 
 
Watch This Segment on YouTube
 
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Culture: A Theology of Exercise
 
Does God care if you’re hitting the gym? Or getting any exercise at all? According to David Mathis, part of us being equipped for service to God is having bodies that are able to do so. He shares scriptural reasoning for prioritizing movement as not only “taking care of your temple” but as an act of worship. He also tells the story of being convicted on this topic, how he started adding fitness to his life, and how staying active helps your body, brain and spirit. 
 
 A Little Theology of Exercise: Enjoying Christ in Body and Soul
 
Inbox: Should You Date a Coworker? 
 
Is it a good idea to date a work colleague? HR expert Marshonda Dixon weighs in. 
 
Find us on YouTube

God and Exercise: Episode 914

Tips for getting a first date, plus lessons from a man’s spiritual deconstruction, and when your girlfriend hangs out a lot with her gay friends. 
 
 
 
Featured musical artist: Kerrie Roberts
 
 
 
Roundtable: Want to Get Coffee?
 
 
 
Asking a girl out isn’t easy; it requires courage. But for many men, their approach is awkward, ill-planned, and lacking confidence — if they summon the nerve to ask at all. Is there a way to ask a woman on a date without making it weird? Our panel of men offers helpful tips from the trenches. 
 
 
 
Watch This Segment on YouTube
 
 
 
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Culture: Lessons in Deconstruction
 
 
 
Nicholas McDonald grew up with a faith that was often formulaic: Do this and get that result from God. But after experiencing the death of his brother and going on a missions trip to another country, Nicholas grappled with the definition of true faith and what Christian beliefs are actually biblical, not just based on tradition or cultural norms. He shares his story with us and models what it looks like to follow Jesus even when you have difficult questions. 
 
 
 
Inbox: My Girlfriend Spends Too Much Time With Her Gay Friends
 
Our listener is concerned about his girlfriend hanging out with her longtime guy friends who identify as gay. Is it time for a hard conversation? Jeff Johnston weighs in. 
 
 
 
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How to Ask a Girl Out: Episode 913

Your role as an aunt or uncle, plus lessons learned in climbing mountains, and house rules for when a roommate starts dating. 
 
Featured musical artist: David Dunn
 
Roundtable: Influence Your Nephews and Nieces
 
Having nieces or nephews is a tremendous amount of fun — but do you know you can also have a huge impact on their lives? Spending time with them, setting a good example, teaching life skills, and just letting them know they’re loved; these all make a huge difference in their development and sense of identity and belonging. Our conversation includes practical ideas for connecting as an aunt or uncle, plus how to stay in your nieces’ and nephews’ lives even if they live far away. 
 
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Culture: Climb Every Mountain (Or at Least One)
 
July 30th is National Climb a Mountain Day, and we’re celebrating by chatting with hiker-adventurer Jen Smith. Jen shares how she got into mountain climbing, the benefits it provides, how she meets God (and others) on the trails, and lessons she’s learned from training and traveling (including a trip to Nepal!). She’ll also give preparedness tips for safe and successful hiking. 
 
Rooted in Wonder: Nurturing Your Family’s Faith Through God’s Creation 
 
Inbox: When a Roommate Starts Dating
 
How do you adjust when your roommate starts dating and wants to hang out in your home with their boyfriend or girlfriend? Should you set ground rules? Boundaries? Kasie Ewing weighs in. 
 
Find us on YouTube

Aunt and Uncle Awesomeness: Episode 912

Making mentorship matter, plus a practical look at financial stewardship, and growing spiritually as an individual and as a couple while dating. 
 
Featured musical artist: Nathan Tasker
 
Roundtable: Meaningful Mentorship
 
Part of being in community is teaching and learning from one another. Mentoring is a creative way to do this whether you’re the mentor or mentee. Mentoring relationships can be discipleship-oriented, skills-based, character-building, or all of the above. Our guests have led and learned from others in everything from Christian living to pickleball to marriage prep to financial counseling. They’ll inspire you to find opportunities to invest in others regardless of where you are in life. 
 
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Culture: Managing God’s Money
 
You may say you don’t have much money, but do you ever think about how it’s all God’s, anyway? Too often we treat what we earn and spend as “ours,” but Scripture reminds us that we are only stewards of what God gives. This perspective shift is exactly what Bill and Dana Wichterman passionately impart to those they coach. Their thoughts on giving, saving, spending and eternal rewards will forever change the way you view finances and their presence in your life. 
 
Bill and Dana’s Website: StewardsNotOwners.com
 
Stewards Not Owners: The Joy of Aligning Your Money with Your Faith 
 
Inbox: Spiritual Growth While Dating
 
What are solid ways to keep up your own spiritual growth while dating? And how can you grow in Christ as a couple? Dr. Greg Smalley weighs in. 
 
Find us on YouTube 
 
Link to Counseling Services

You Don’t Own a Thing: Episode 911

Forgiveness according to Jesus, plus more tips on how to read a room, and if your boyfriend doesn’t budget, is that a red flag? 
 
Featured musical artist: Aaron Shust
 
Roundtable: What Forgiveness Is and Isn’t
 
July 7th is National Forgiveness Day, so we’re having a hopeful and practical conversation on how to walk in forgiveness as a Christian. Usually it’s a process, not just a one-time decision, but is there a “right” way to view the act of forgiving? What does the Bible say about it? We talk about how we’ve forgiven those who’ve hurt us, the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation, and why forgiveness matters in the first place. 
 
Forgive for Real: Six Steps to Forgiving 
 
Watch This Segment on YouTube
 
Link to Counseling Services 
 
Send Us Your Show Ideas
 
Leave Us a Voicemail
 
Culture: How to Read a Room (Part 2) 
 
Have you ever gotten an incorrect read on what’s going on in a meeting, friend group or social situation? Most of us have. Whether you’re an extrovert or introvert, emotional intelligence and discernment are relational muscles to develop. Our friend Dr. Mike Bechtle is an expert in career and professional development. His tips for how to read a room, assess a situation and win in social and business environments will save you years of trial and error. In part two of our interview, Mike outlines practical steps for how to communicate appropriately both verbally and in emails, texts, on social media and more. 
 
How to Read a Room: Navigate Any Situation, Lead with Confidence, and Create an Impact at Work 
 
Inbox: My Boyfriend Doesn’t Budget
 
Her boyfriend doesn’t have a budget, but is this a valid reason to end the relationship? A counselor weighs in. 
 
Find us on YouTube 
 
Link to Counseling Services

Is Forgiveness Optional?: Episode 910

Things we love about America, plus how to read a room, and what if you catch feelings for someone who isn’t a Christian? 
 
Featured musical artist: All Sons & Daughters
 
Roundtable: What We Love About the United States
 
Many people like to criticize the United States. Even US citizens love to bag on our country, and while many of our shortcomings are real and even serious, it’s also good to remember what’s good about this nation. As we celebrate Independence Day, we have a conversation about what the United States has gotten right, both now and in the past. 
 
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Culture: How to Read a Room (Part 1) 
 
Have you ever gotten an incorrect read on what’s going on in a meeting, friend group or social situation? Most of us have. Whether you’re an extrovert or introvert, emotional intelligence and discernment are relational muscles to develop. Our friend Dr. Mike Bechtle is an expert in career and professional development. His tips for how to read a room, assess a situation and win in social and business environments will save you years of trial and error. In part one of our conversation he addresses the need for interpersonal experience, why “fake it till you make it” is a bad strategy, and how to avoid misreading someone’s intentions. 
 
 How to Read a Room: Navigate Any Situation, Lead with Confidence, and Create an Impact at Work 
 
Inbox: Feelings for a Non-Believer
 
Our listener is asking how she can work through having feelings for a guy who isn’t a Christian. Lisa Anderson weighs in. 
 
Find us on YouTube 
 
Link to Counseling Services

God Bless the USA: Episode 909

Successful small groups, plus what compatibility in marriage looks like, and what if your date was previously married? 
 
Featured musical artist: Love and the Outcome
 
Roundtable: Church Small Group Success
 
We all long for community, and as Christians one of the best ways to cultivate deep relationships is in a small group with others from your church. But what actually makes a small group successful? We interviewed pastors and small group leaders to discover how to find a small group, what to look for, how to plug in, and what to expect from the experience. 
 
Watch This Segment on YouTube
 
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Visit Dani’s Website
 
Vince’s Church Website
 
Culture: Should You and Your Spouse Be Compatible?
 
It seems like dating sites and relationship experts talk a lot about compatibility. What is compatibility, and does it matter in marriage? If so, in what areas, and how do you go about finding or cultivating it? And what about “opposites attract” or the benefit of being complements to each other? Dr. Greg and Erin Smalley separate fact from fiction when it comes to compatibility and relational dynamics, specifically in the search for a mate. 
 
 Ready to Wed: 12 Ways to Start a Marriage You’ll Love 
 
Read Greg’s Article: 12 Questions Every Father Should Ask His Future Son-In-Law
 
Listen to Greg and Erin’s Podcast: Crazy Little Thing Called Marriage
 
Inbox: Dating Someone Who’s Been Married
 
What do you do with concerns about your date having been married before? What should you find out on the front end? Erin Smalley weighs in. 
 
Find us on YouTube 
 
Link to Counseling Services

Compatibility in Marriage: Episode 908

Ordering your life, plus how to build a relationship with your future in-laws, and should you wait until you’re married to buy a house? 
 
Featured musical artist: Hollyn
 
Roundtable: Get Your Priorities Straight
 
We’re all guilty of procrastination, wasting time, and over-cluttering our schedules. As adults, we know we should do better, but where do we start? How can we prioritize our lives to make time for what’s really important? Our guests share their own struggles and strategies for how to find time for God, family, friendships and responsibilities, while also making space for rest and fun. 
 
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Culture: Know Your Future In-Laws
 
A relationship with your in-laws can be wonderful, or it can be difficult and even complicated. Finding an appropriate relational balance is tricky, as is establishing boundaries and closeness. Most of these efforts start during dating and engagement, so what does it look like to pursue a healthy relationship on the in-law front? Relationship experts Dr. Greg and Erin Smalley explain how they navigated in-law relationships, what challenges they experienced, how they had hard conversations, and what loving an extended family looks like. 
 
 Ready to Wed: 12 Ways to Start a Marriage You’ll Love 
 
Read Greg’s Article: 12 Questions Every Father Should Ask His Future Son-In-Law
 
Link to Article: Myths and Realities of Extended Families 
 
Inbox: Should I Be Married to Buy a House? 
 
Buying a house is one of the biggest decisions you’ll make. Should you wait until marriage to take the plunge? Recent homebuyer Ryan Wall weighs in.

Hope for Home Ownership: Episode 907

What makes someone a best friend, plus research on why men fall in love more quickly, and is our listener trying hard enough to find someone? 
 
Featured musical artist: Kerrie Roberts
 
Roundtable: Who Is Your Best Friend?
 
Who is someone you consider a best friend? Getting to that level of relationship with another person takes time, intention, and the willingness to resolve conflict and give grace. Our guests share about their best friends, what makes a best friend, ways to overcome relational barriers, and how to take friendship to the next level. 
 
Read Lisa’s Article: What is a Best Friend?
 
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Culture: Can’t Help Falling in Love
 
Recent research indicates that men statistically fall in love more quickly than women. Why is this and how does it play out? Glenn Stanton is a family researcher at Focus on the Family. He shares findings from a study on the subject and what they mean for the world of dating and relationships. 
 
Watch This Segment on YouTube
 
 The Sacred Search: What if It’s Not About Who You Marry, but Why? 
 
Read Glenn’s Article: Who Falls in Love Faster, Men or Women?
 
Inbox: Am I Trying Hard Enough to Date? 
 
Have you recently been asked why you’re still single? And does it make you wonder if you’re trying hard enough to find someone? A counselor shares some encouragement. 
 
Link to Counseling Services 
 
Find us on YouTube

Why Men Love Sooner: Episode 906

Living out your faith in a dark world, plus Debra Fileta on Jesus’ example of soul care, and dating someone in a different life stage. 
 
 
 
Soul Care: Find Life-Giving Rhythms, Live Restored, Avoid Burnout, Discover Unspeakable Joy
 
 
 
Featured musical artist: Zach Williams 
 
 
 
Roundtable: When the World Is Messed Up
 
 
 
Inflammatory news headlines, political division, divorce, abuse, people denying their Christian faith. When our world feels especially dark, what’s the godliest and most loving way for Christians to respond? Our guests wrestle with this topic, discuss how to have hope, and show us where Jesus is in all the chaos. 
 
 
 
Leave Us a Voicemail
 
 
 
Culture: Caring for Your Soul (Part 1)
 
 
 
Millennials and Gen Z report unprecedented rates of burnout and exhaustion. When our to-do lists keep growing and our frustrations add up, how do we find strength and stamina to continue? Our friend Debra Fileta shares how to create life-giving rhythms of caring for your soul, and why doing so honors God. In part one, she discusses sources of burnout and how we can learn from Jesus’ example of rest. 
 
 
 
Soul Care: Find Life-Giving Rhythms, Live Restored, Avoid Burnout, Discover Unspeakable Joy
 
 
 
Visit Debra’s Website
 
 
 
Inbox: Too Much Drama to Date?
 
 
 
They started dating after he picked her up from a car accident. But he’s currently in grad school and she just finished her master’s degree. With these and other factors at play, is pursuing a dating relationship the best move? Counselor Glenn Lutjens weighs in.
 
 
 
Link to Counseling Services 
 
 
 
Find us on YouTube

The Habits of Jesus: Episode 864

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