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Lyt når som helst, hvor som helst 

Confetti Cannon

The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya features a pair of grizzled gay ghouls sitting on chairs, holding microphones, and discussing their fabulous lives in Tinseltown. (featuring occasional forays into movies, television shows, and air-conditioning) The New York Times called them models, moguls, actors, influencers, drag queens, RuPaul's Drag Race contestants, and even humanoids. If one thing can be said about these two preternaturally gorgeous queens' podcast, it's that Trixie and Katya find the sheer, unadulterated beauty of pure insanity. Tune in every week to experience the auditory pleasure that is The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya.

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The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya

The deliciously-delightful and splendidly-spooky Roz Hernandez descends upon the studio like a Victorian apparition with gorgeous bangs, joining Trixie for a feverish symposium on ghosts, gays, and conservatives who know suspiciously too many lyrics to Wicked. Together, they peer beyond the veil to ask whether the dead are among us, and, most critically, how large Roz’s hypothetical new breasts should be before they cease being cosmetic enhancements and become federally recognized geographic features. Light a candle, powder your décolletage, and alert the Vatican's top exorcist, because this episode contains spectral entities, gay pageantry, and a conversation so eerily enchanting that you'll utterly ignore that haunted ceramic panther lamp you just got off of Ebay. 

To check out Roz live, head to https://www.RozHernandezTour.com

to check out her podcast "Ghosted!", head to https://open.spotify.com/show/4ra955RzTPKWl5VQmlXldc

Follow Roz: https://www.instagram.com/rozhernandez

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@rozhernandezthedoll

 

 
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Roz Hernandez Should Be More Famous

To fully optimize the final days of sunshine and warmth this September, wait until the afternoon is aglow with solar benevolence; the perfect time for a sun-drenched pool party and a refreshing smoothie. Bow your head for a moment of reflective silence before you blend spinach, Greek yogurt, chia seeds, and avocado into an emerald tonic expertly calibrated for softness, serenity, and superior poolside consciousness. Sip this tonic slowly beneath a gently swaying palm tree as a vintage Stylophone releases crystalline electronic frequencies into the canyon air, aligning your breath, posture, and lustrous aura. You'll quickly find that this is less a smoothie than a daily practice; a devotional union of chlorophyll, probiotics, and a deeply committed love of Tom Hanks. By the time you reach the bottom of this sacred cup, you will become not merely refreshed, but cosmically moisturized, spiritually buoyant, and perfectly prepared to face the week as though wellness itself had personally invited you. 

 
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A Transcendent Poolside Smoothie Recipe

Legends tell of the final round of a combination beauty pageant/spelling bee that ceased to resemble any known human contest, but had instead become a brutal reckoning of song, dance, and cutthroat orthography. It unfolded beneath the brass chandeliers of a Holiday Inn in suburban Alabama, where the faded ballroom carpet bore mute witness to Trixie and Katya performing desperate pirouettes to stale 80s power ballads and sheepishly spelling words like "prestidigitation" while shooting glares as sharp as daggers across the stage at each other like silent declarations of mascara-drenched animosity. Outside, the interstate burned beneath the humid Southern night; inside, these two sequined titans stood at the very edge of destiny. For one impossible hour, somewhere between a broken ice machine and the complimentary continental breakfast buffet, the fate of beauty, class, and poise itself was decided by the gods of synthetic-bejeweled tiaras.

 
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The Grand Imperial Jubilee of Radiance, Womanhood & Excellence

If we were to distill this episode into a single thesis statement, it would be the argument that friendship resides not merely in affection or proximity, but in the reciprocal recognition through which separate consciousnesses become eloquently entangled. By destroying past hierarchies of intimacy, we endeavor to redefine friendship as an existential and somewhat magical coherence between two individuals. Ultimately, friendship emerges as a profound act of allowing another consciousness to partially inhabit one’s own, primarily via stories about P-Town and descriptions of one's sexy white short-shorts.

 
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All Friendship is Valid

Ladies, Theydies, and Gentlethems! Behold Trixie's newly-acquired ring of destiny: the one and only Oura Ring! A small and gleaming metallic circlet wherein the chronicles of the mortal frame are gathered and organized for those fine souls engaged in the pursuit of optimal living. Existing in the nether regions between sleep and waking, heart and breath, exertion and recovery, stress and readiness, the ring brings forth the unseen tides of the human body and lets them shine like constellations upon a midnight sky. At each new dawn this tiny oracle speaks anew; revealing when strength should be summoned, when weariness must be honored, and how the long rivers of rest, movement, and strain may guide its bearer toward greater wisdom over the mysterious organic realm within. And to place this sparkling halo into another’s hand in the act of gift-giving is to grant yet one more enchantment: a recurring subscription whose revelations, like the turning of the seasons and the inexorable hand of fate upon one’s credit card, return faithfully again and again each and every month.

 
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One Ring to Rule Them All

From a nameless wind-swept Midwest town came Merrily, an innocent creature bound for Hollywood beneath a horrible perm, her face entombed in pancake makeup thick enough to withstand the California sun. Into Bob Barker’s glittering Price is Right kingdom she strode. The lights blinded her as she sauntered past rows of mustachioed men in enormous collars and women tucked into high-waisted brown slacks that seemed engineered to repel both fashion and human affection. The gods of Plinko and Pontiac had written her name upon the heavens, for as she bid upon refrigerators, dinette sets, and speedboats, she was clearly destined to become a gameshow legend. Finally, Merrily reached the Showcase Showdown, her perm blazing like a thunderhead, and with one sacred spin seized victory from the grasp of fate, returning to the cornfields forever crowned in avocado appliances and the terrible majesty of retail price.

 
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The Ballad of Merrily and Bob

Art, to us beautiful biological women, is the residue produced when consciousness attempts to impose intelligibility upon the otherwise rudimentary foundation of existence. It's a beautiful and occasionally difficult transformation through which sensation, memory, and desire are alchemized into a new state of being that endeavors to comprehend reality. Art occupies that mythical space between revelation and perception, where the observer engages in an effort to fully grasp their brain's interpretive architecture, even when it's painfully obvious that journey is a fool's errand. In summation, art is perhaps best understood not as beauty, expression, or even meaning, but as an endless negotiation between the ineffable and the intelligible. Also, sometimes a big table is just a big table. 

 
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We Finally Explain Art

Hey there, homemakers: why serve your hungry brood another dreary, bare-faced supper when the smart modern cook can tuck beef, chicken, ham, veggie dogs, Cyclospora-laden lettuce, and even yesterday’s leftovers into a snug little blanket of golden, buttery, feather-flaky pastry? With one gay whirl of the rolling pin, you can turn an ordinary Tuesday meal into an Atomic Age taste sensation that makes Junior clean his plate, Sis sit up straight, and your hard-working hubby forget the traffic, the boss, and that third highball with his mistress at Grand Central Station. So wrap it, crimp it, pop it into the oven, and serve your family a piping-hot parcel of domestic triumph, because nothing says “Welcome home, dear!” like concealing an entire dinner inside several hundred calories of shortening.

 
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Some Like It Hot & Flaky

We here at Bald, LLC are proud to present: "The Essence of Consequence," our ultra-natural deodorant lovingly compounded from Icelandic aloe, pulverized cedar bark, ceremonial Scottish peat, and the pollen from downtown Los Angeles sidewalk dandelions. We take this proprietary blend and strain it through a used pair of nylons from our 2022 live tour, and we do it all without a single vulgar ingredient proven to work in any way whatsoever, as ethics can't scientifically prevent perspiration or odor. Each artisanal swipe transforms your underarm into a thriving, biodiverse wetland, allowing you to greet the day with the moral serenity of someone who has personally defeated chemistry and the sinister concept of “smelling fresh." Because let's face it: feeling good about what you wear is important, even when wearing it is an olfactory assault to all those within twenty feet of you.

Ready to upgrade your home for way less? To shop all things home and get your space ready for less, head to: https://Wayfair.com

To get simple, online access to personalized, affordable care for ED, Hair Loss, and more, visit: https://Hims.com/BALD

Find the functional gummy that matches exactly what mood you're looking for! Use promo code BALD when you check out to save 20% on your first order at: https://mood.com

Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel

Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo

 • To check out our Patreon: 
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Follow Trixie:

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Follow Katya:

Official Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.welovekatya.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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#TrixieMattel #KatyaZamo #BaldBeautiful

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Wear Your Virtue, Broadcast Your Bouquet with Trixie and Katya

Across the porcelain provinces of our human experience, each soul leaves behind its own small testament; some solemn and substantial, with others fleeting as a whispered flush under the gentle glow from a nightlight. There are movements of grandeur, movements of haste, movements that arrive with operatic thunder. And then there are those shy little passages that scarcely trouble the waters below. The majesty of these movements is that all belong to the same mysterious intestinal symphony called life. Let us therefore abandon judgment at the bathroom door, accepting that no two constitutions are alike and that dignity may be found even in our most private acts of gastrointestinal release. For when we honor the full spectrum of what moves through us, we cease straining against one another and enter, at last, a gentler world of movement harmony.

Need a website or domain? To save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain, head to: https://Squarespace.com/BALD

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Start online therapy today! Sign up and get 10% off at: ⁠⁠https://BetterHelp.com/BALD⁠⁠

Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel

Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo

 • To check out our Patreon: 
⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/cw/trixieandkatya⁠⁠
 • To watch the podcast on YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
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Listen and Watch Anywhere!

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Follow Trixie:

Official Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.trixiemattel.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Twitter (X): ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://twitter.com/trixiemattel⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

 

Follow Katya:

Official Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.welovekatya.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@katya_zamo⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/welovekatya⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/katya_zamo⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Twitter (X): ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://twitter.com/katya_zamo⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

 

#TrixieMattel #KatyaZamo #BaldBeautiful

 
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The Magic of Movements with Trixie and Katya

If you've been waiting with bated breath for Part 2 of the epically excellent interview with Australia's best export Courtney Act, you can finally breathe again. Here is part 2 of their fabulous conversation about the evolving definition of femininity, the marvels of meditation, and the exorbitant number of downsides of widespread child literacy.

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This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://www.Betterhelp.com/BALD and get on your way to being your best self!

Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel

Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo

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The Exceptionally Erudite Courtney Act (Part 2) with Katya

Lyt når som helst, hvor som helst

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