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The Angry Therapist

Audio-Only Episodes. Captain’s Log: No guests. No fluff. Just me, the mic, and whatever’s clawing at my insides. Think audio journaling meets back-of-the-bar confessions. Less psychobabble, more soul bleed. Raw, real, and mostly for me.

Audio + Video Episodes. You ask, I riff. Therapy meets real talk. More structure, more insight, more of the good stuff on love, dating, and tools we need to build a healthy relationship. Awesome guests. Less navel-gazing, more crowd-serving. This one’s for you.

The Angry Therapist Podcast

From sex myths to second chances, safe choices to stuck seasons - John and Vanessa answer real listener questions from bed. You’ll hear why gendered scripts about sex don’t serve us, what really matters before getting back with an ex, how to choose the “risky” path without regret, and why feeling unmotivated can be a necessary pause - not a personal failure.

What you’ll learn

 Can men say no to casual sex? (and why the answer matters)

 Exes & ego: new tracks vs. old dynamics

 Ditch “right vs. wrong” decisions; choose what’s honest now

 Motivation is overrated; integration time builds strength

Links & mentions

Vanessa’s book: The Motherhood Myth HERE

Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Jump into John’s new Single. On Purpose app ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Two Therapists in Bed Talk: Can Men Say No to Casual Sex? (And Other Big Questions We Avoid)

Sometimes life forces you to hit reset. For me, it was losing my house. For you, it might be a breakup, a career shift, or just that nagging feeling that life is smaller than it should be.

In this walk-and-talk episode from Costa Rica, I share how I’ve been redefining everything: happiness, relationships, play, even what “success” means. The truth is - growth doesn’t come from routines. It comes from curiosity, from being willing to reimagine your definitions.

You’ll hear stories of:

 My second rebirth at 52

 How living abroad reshaped my creativity and sense of play

 Why redefining doesn’t require moving countries—it can start with friendships, hobbies, or daily joy

 The hidden power of changing your environment

My challenge for you: What’s one thing you can redefine this week?
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Why Your World Feels Small (and How to Redefine Life Before It’s Too Late)

In today’s episode, John Kim takes on your raw, unfiltered questions about love — from the heartbreak of seeing an ex with someone new, to the chaos of dating in your 40s, to navigating loneliness, trauma, and self-worth. It’s the real talk you’ve been craving: messy, honest, and maybe the perspective you need to keep moving forward.

Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Jump into John’s new Single. On Purpose app⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Sh*t You Wouldn’t Ask Your Therapist | Heartbreak Hurts Here's Why

What if it’s not the big traumas that hold us back, but the tiny cracks in how we think each day? In this episode, John Kim and Vanessa unpack how we unconsciously block miracles - through catastrophizing, over-stimulation, and self-protection - and how small shifts in mindset can open the door to flow, joy, and unexpected magic.

If this helped, hit subscribe for practical, no-fluff relationship tools.

Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Jump into John’s new Single. On Purpose app⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

When You Shut the Door on Miracles

Closure isn’t a door you wait to have slammed shut - it’s a bridge you build. In this episode, licensed therapist John Kim breaks the biggest “closure” myths and shows you how to move forward without an apology, a perfect explanation, or one last text. If you’ve felt stuck in relationship residue, this is your map.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

 Why “waiting for closure” keeps you stuck

 Acceptance over answers (and why that heals faster)

 How to generate closure without contact

 Turning an expired relationship into a stronger self

 Realism > idealism: healing as a process, not an event

 Community & service as fuel for resilience

If this helped, follow the show on Spotify and share it with someone who needs it today.

Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Jump into John’s new Single. On Purpose app⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Still Stuck on Your Ex | This is Why

A 30-second, playful moment sparked this episode - and a reminder: love isn’t generic. We break down how to speak love so it lands without abandoning yourself, especially when partners differ.

What you’ll learn (10 takeaways):

 Love isn’t generic - different emotional blueprints

 How to avoid the “I’m giving everything, it’s still not enough” trap

 Building emotional safety so defenses drop

 Reducing resentment & energy burnout

 Deepening intimacy beyond the physical

 Faster conflict repair by making the nervous system feel safe

 Future-proofing with regular “What makes you feel most loved?” check-ins

 Co-regulation: why the right love calms insecure attachment

 Turning micro-moments into daily bonding rituals

 Why guessing breaks trust (love is a skill)

Try this today: Ask your partner, “What lands for you this week?” Then do one unexpected gesture in their way of receiving love (a short note, a quick chore, five phone-free minutes together, a gentle touch, a tiny gift).

If this helped, hit subscribe for practical, no-fluff relationship tools.Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Jump into John’s new Single. On Purpose app⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Stop Guessing Their Love: Say What Lands

In this episode, licensed therapist John Kim takes you inside his personal journey of building a new life in Costa Rica - the highs, the lows, and the unexpected lessons about presence, clarity, and decision-making. From nausea-inducing dirt roads to perfect mornings surfing in Costa Rica, John unpacks how life-changing decisions aren’t made in one big moment… but in a collection of small ones.

You’ll learn:

 Why clarity about life, love, and career comes from moments, not constant certainty

 How to notice and “bank” the moments that matter when deciding whether to move abroad, who to love, or what path to take

 The challenges of living in Costa Rica - from unpaved roads to missing city comforts and the surprising joys that outweigh them

 How being present is the only way to truly capture moments (and how most of us miss them)

 Why life’s “yes” often comes from an accumulation of tiny affirmations rather than a single sign

Join the conversation! What moments have shaped your biggest life decisions? Have you noticed when your “piggy bank” of yeses finally tipped the scale? Share your story with us.

Like this episode? Please LIKE & FOLLOW for more unfiltered conversations about expat life, self-discovery, and building a life that actually feels like yours.

Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Jump into John’s new Single. On Purpose app⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

From Nauseous Nights to Perfect Mornings | Life in Costa Rica

In today’s episode, John Kim answers raw, unfiltered listener questions on the theme of breakups and divorce — the things you’d never dare ask your therapist. 

Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Jump into John’s new Single. On Purpose app ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Sh*t You Wouldn’t Ask Your Therapist | The Truth About Breakups

In this episode, licensed therapist John Kim gets personal about the mother wound - how it quietly shapes our self-worth, love life, and sense of safety. From a surprising MDMA journey insight to stories about his Korean-American upbringing, John unpacks what it’s like to grow up without emotional warmth from mom - and how this absence leaves lasting imprints on both men and women.

You’ll learn:

 Why the mother wound isn’t just a “women’s issue”

 How emotional absence can be just as impactful as physical absence

 The different ways the mother wound shows up in men (approval seeking, caretaking confusion, fear of intimacy) and women (perfectionism, chronic self-doubt, boundary struggles)

 How it fuels unhealthy patterns like codependency, attachment insecurity, and emotional projection

 Practical steps for healing: naming the wound without blame, reparenting yourself, rewriting old relationship scripts, and doing inner child work

Join the conversation! Have you noticed the mother wound in your own relationships or self-image? What has helped you start to heal? Share your story with us.

Like this episode? Please LIKE & FOLLOW for more unfiltered conversations about love, identity, and the work of healing yourself from the inside out.

Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Jump into John’s new Single. On Purpose app⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Loving Without Losing Me: Healing the Mother Wound

In this episode, licensed therapist John Kim unpacks the father wound - how it silently shapes our self-worth, relationships, and ideas of masculinity. Through raw personal stories and practical, street-level insights, he explores what it means to grow up with a “ghost father” and how both men and women can begin to heal.

You’ll learn:

 Why the father wound exists even if your dad was “there”

 How it shows up differently for men and women

 Why emotional absence can leave deeper scars than physical absence

 How it becomes a blueprint for love, power, and identity

 Practical ways to reparent yourself and break the cycle

Join the conversation! Do you think you have a father wound? How has it shown up in your relationships or self-image? Share your story with us.

Like this episode? Please LIKE & FOLLOW for more unfiltered conversations on relationships, self-worth, and the work of healing.

Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Jump into John’s new Single. On Purpose app⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The Lie We Tell Men About Strength

In this episode, John and Vanessa talk work, love, life, and family with Charlie and Erika Curtis.

 
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Work / Love / Family with Charlie & Erika Curtis

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