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Lyt når som helst, hvor som helst 

Helen Zaltzman

Adventures in language with Helen Zaltzman. TheAllusionist.org

The Allusionist

'Phobia' gets used for anything from a mild aversion to a debilitating anxiety response to various forms of bigotry. Deboki Chakravarti and Sam Jones of the podcast Tiny Matters join to consider the term from its comedic origins with one of the founding fathers of the USA, via rabies and Greek deities, to its role in their lives today.

CONTENT NOTE: we’re not trying to stoke anyone’s phobias, but we do discuss some common phobia-inducers, including snakes, germs and small holes, and there’s a brief mention of tarantulas. There’s also talk about OCD and rabies.

For more info and a transcript of this episode, visit theallusionist.org/phobia.

There's a social meetup in Vancouver on Sunday 13 September, to watch the annual zucchini races. All are welcome. Information is at theallusionist.org/events.

Sign up at theallusionist.org/donate to fund the continuing existence of this independent podcast. In return, you can join me for regular livestreams where I read relaxingly from my ever-expanding collection of vintage dictionaries, plus you get bonus written content including behind the scenes info about every episode, membership of the Allusioverse Discord community, and watchalong parties for films and TV shows: together we'lll watch the 2026 season of Great British Bake Off and like last year there'll be some particularly chaotic bonus content. For $5/month or above, get the ad-free version of the show.

Find the Allusionist at youtube.com/allusionistshow, instagram.com/allusionistshow, facebook.com/allusionistshow, @allusionistshow.bsky.social… If I’m there, I’m there as @allusionistshow. 

Our ad partner is Multitude. If you want me to talk compellingly about your product, sponsor an episode: contact Multitude at multitudeshows.com/ads. The Allusionist is sponsored by:

• Jones Road, modern-day makeup tfor effortless routines. Shop at Jonesroadbeauty.com and use code ALLUSIONIST at checkout to get a free full-size mascara.

• Squarespace, your one-stop shop for building and running your online forever home. Go to squarespace.com/allusionist for a free trial, and get 10 percent off your first purchase of a website or domain with the code allusionist.

• Quince, luxurious clothing and homewares without the markup. Go to quince.com/allusionist for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

233. Phobia

What do you call yourself if you're a part-time vegetarian? What petty linguistic things would you change? And what do you do if people gripe at you if you say that you are bi or pan? To answer these questions from the Allusionist mailbag are esteemed alumsionists: Hrishikesh Hirway and Samin Nosrat of Home Cooking podcast; academic and author Alex Ketchum; lexicographer Kory Stamper; and linguist Lauren Gawne of Lingthusiasm podcast.

For more info and a transcript of this episode, visit theallusionist.org/vega.

Sign up at theallusionist.org/donate to fund the continuing existence of this independent podcast. In return, you can join me for regular livestreams where I read relaxingly from my ever-expanding collection of vintage dictionaries, plus you get bonus written content including behind the scenes info about every episode, membership of the Allusioverse Discord community, and watchalong parties for films and TV shows: together we're watching the 2026 season of Great British Sewing Bee. For $5/month or above, get the ad-free version of the show.

Find the Allusionist at youtube.com/allusionistshow, instagram.com/allusionistshow, facebook.com/allusionistshow, @allusionistshow.bsky.social… If I’m there, I’m there as @allusionistshow. 

Our ad partner is Multitude. If you want me to talk compellingly about your product, sponsor an episode: contact Multitude at multitudeshows.com/ads. The Allusionist is sponsored by:

• Squarespace, your one-stop shop for building and running your online forever home. Go to squarespace.com/allusionist for a free trial, and get 10 percent off your first purchase of a website or domain with the code allusionist.

• Quince, luxurious clothing and homewares without the markup. Go to quince.com/allusionist for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

232. Vega

This is the Tranquillusionist, in which I, Helen Zaltzman, say a series of words to relax your mind, replace a hectic interior monologue, maybe lull you to sleep, hopefully quell the mental uproar just for a little while. Today: nicknames for woodlice AKA rolypoly bugs AKA slaters AKA all these other things; and a list of cheeses from Great Britain and Ireland. If you need to skip the woodlouse content, go to the 5 minutes 45 seconds mark, whereupon the cheese begins.

Note: this is NOT a normal episode of the Allusionist, where you might learn something about language and your brain might be stimulated. The Tranquillusionist's purpose is to soothe your brain and for you to learn very little - perhaps just a couple of facts about woodlouse urination and a 9th-century saint.

Visit theallusionist.org/cheesy-cheesybobs for a transcript and more information about cheese and woodlice.

There's a collection of other Tranquillusionists at theallusionist.org/tranquillusionist, on themes including champion dogs, Australia's big things, gay animals, ex-constellations and more.

Sign up at theallusionist.org/donate to fund the continuing existence of this independent podcast. In return, you can join me for regular livestreams where I read relaxingly from my ever-expanding collection of vintage dictionaries, plus you get bonus written content including behind the scenes info about every episode, membership of the Allusioverse Discord community, and watchalong parties for films and TV shows: together we're watching the 2026 season of Great British Sewing Bee. For $5/month or above, get the ad-free version of the show.

Find the Allusionist at youtube.com/allusionistshow, instagram.com/allusionistshow, facebook.com/allusionistshow, @allusionistshow.bsky.social… If I’m there, I’m there as @allusionistshow. 

Our ad partner is Multitude. If you want me to talk compellingly about your product, sponsor an episode: contact Multitude at multitudeshows.com/ads. The Allusionist is sponsored by:

• Squarespace, your one-stop shop for building and running your online forever home. Go to squarespace.com/allusionist for a free trial, and get 10 percent off your first purchase of a website or domain with the code allusionist.

• Quince, luxurious clothing and homewares without the markup. Go to quince.com/allusionist for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Tranquillusionist: cheesy cheesybobs

“Linguistics and language is such a good mechanism for being curious,” says Lauren Gawne, linguistics prof, author of the book Gesture: A Slim Guide, and cohost of the podcast Lingthusiasm. I'm in vacation mode (although not on actual vacation alas), so today's episode is a fun chat with our nice pal about making language podcasts, the firey digestive punishments for linguistics researchers, working in reality television, and cute tame nouns versus scary intimidating verbs.

There's a longer version of this conversation available for free over on Lingthusiasm’s Patreon, patreon.com/lingthusiasm, including Lauren explaining how she broke a famous linguistic theory. Listen to Lingthusiasm in the pod places and at lingthusiasm.com. 

Content note: this episode contains one category A swear and a category B swear.

Visit theallusionist.org/lingthusionist for a transcript and links to various topics mentioned in the episode.

Sign up at theallusionist.org/donate to fund the continuing existence of this independent podcast. In return, you can join me for regular livestreams where I read relaxingly from my ever-expanding collection of vintage dictionaries, plus behind the scenes info about every episode, membership of the Allusioverse Discord community, and watchalong parties for films and TV shows: together we're watching the 2026 season of Great British Sewing Bee, starting 14 July 2026.

Find the Allusionist at youtube.com/allusionistshow, instagram.com/allusionistshow, facebook.com/allusionistshow, @allusionistshow.bsky.social… If I’m there, I’m there as @allusionistshow. 

Our ad partner is Multitude. If you want me to talk compellingly about your product, sponsor an episode: contact Multitude at multitudeshows.com/ads. This episode is sponsored by Squarespace, your one-stop shop for building and running your online forever home. Go to squarespace.com/allusionist for a free trial, and get 10 percent off your first purchase of a website or domain with the code allusionist.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

231. Lingthusionist

Throughout the Draculae miniseries, about the Swedish and Icelandic translations of Dracula that played fast and loose with the original text, I've been wondering a couple of questions: why are cover versions of songs and remakes of films so normal and acceptable, whereas cover versions in book form cause such a stir? And do these Scandinavian Draculae count as fan fiction? And if not, why not? Fansplaining.com's Elizabeth Minkel explains what fan fiction can mean.

Visit theallusionist.org/transformation for more information plus a transcript of the episode. And though this is the fourth and last part of the Draculae miniseries, it is more inspired by than directly connected to the other episodes, so you don't have to listen to them beforehand. But do listen to them, they're very fun and intriguing!

Content note: this episode contains some references to (but not descriptions of) sexual content and sex slavery. There is also mention of J.K. Rowling.

Sign up at theallusionist.org/donate to fund the continuing existence of this independent podcast. In return, you can join me for regular livestreams where I read relaxingly from my ever-expanding collection of vintage dictionaries, plus behind the scenes info about every episode, membership of the Allusioverse Discord community, and watchalong parties for films and TV shows.

Find the Allusionist at youtube.com/allusionistshow, instagram.com/allusionistshow, facebook.com/allusionistshow, @allusionistshow.bsky.social… If I’m there, I’m there as @allusionistshow. 

Our ad partner is Multitude. If you want me to talk compellingly about your product, sponsor an episode: contact Multitude at multitudeshows.com/ads. This episode is sponsored by Squarespace, your one-stop shop for building and running your online forever home. Go to squarespace.com/allusionist for a free trial, and get 10 percent off your first purchase of a website or domain with the code allusionist.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

230. Draculae part 4: Transformation

Many mysteries accompany the revelations that Powers of Darkness, the Icelandic and Swedish versions of Dracula, are not direct translations of Bram Stoker's original, but stories that significantly differ in character names, plot and runtime. Like: did Bram Stoker write it himself, to publish some raunchy content that British censors would forbid? Was Powers of Darkness based on his early drafts? And did he really not copyright Dracula in the USA was that a deliberate ruse? Welllll... brace yourself for ole thrill-destroyer Zaltzman to pop your balloons of excitement. Searching for the truth among all the rumours and texts are producer Iris Ishichita of the Powers of Darkness podcast, and Will Trimble and Hans Corneel de Roos, who orchestrated English translations of respectively the Swedish and Icelandic Powers of Darknesses. 

This is the third episode of the Draculae miniseries. Before listening to it, check out the first and second episodes explaining the three versions of Dracula and why we are talking about them. And visit theallusionist.org/draculae3 for more information plus a transcript of the episode.

Sign up at theallusionist.org/donate to fund the continuing existence of this independent podcast. In return, you can join me for regular livestreams where I read relaxingly from my ever-expanding collection of vintage dictionaries, plus behind the scenes info about every episode, membership of the Allusioverse Discord community, and watchalong parties for films and TV shows.

Find the Allusionist at youtube.com/allusionistshow, instagram.com/allusionistshow, facebook.com/allusionistshow, @allusionistshow.bsky.social… If I’m there, I’m there as @allusionistshow. 

Our ad partner is Multitude. If you want me to talk compellingly about your product, sponsor an episode: contact Multitude at multitudeshows.com/ads. This episode is sponsored by Squarespace, your one-stop shop for building and running your online forever home. Go to squarespace.com/allusionist for a free trial, and get 10 percent off your first purchase of a website or domain with the code allusionist.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

229. Draculae part 3: Hunting Down the Count

Happy World Dracula Day to all who celebrate! Visit theallusionist.org/draculae2 for more information about the topics in this episode plus a transcript.

This is the second episode of the Draculae miniseries, about a literary mystery which came to me via a meme: “Someone translated Dracula into Icelandic, and it took over 100 years for anyone to point out he just made a fanfic rewrite of what he wanted the story to be.”

In Draculae part 2, Ásgeir Jónsson explains how he got that Icelandic adaptation of Dracula back into print, to little fanfare - but then Dutch scholar Hans Corneel de Roos set about making an English translation. Following that: like me, Will Trimble also got meme-struck, and that propelled him to get a translation of the Swedish version that begat the Icelandic one.

Before listening to this, check out the first episode of the Draculae miniseries explaining the three versions of Dracula: Dracula published by Bram Stoker in 1897; the Icelandic version Makt Myrkranna by newspaper editor Valdimar Ásmundsson, serialised in his newspaper Fyallkonan in 1900-1901; and the Swedish version Mörkrets makter by an author known only as A—e, and serialised in a couple of Swedish newspapers 1899-1900.

Sign up at theallusionist.org/donate to fund the continuing existence of this independent podcast. In return, you can join me for regular livestreams where I read relaxingly from my ever-expanding collection of vintage dictionaries, plus behind the scenes info about every episode, membership of the Allusioverse Discord community, and watchalong parties for films and TV shows.

Find the Allusionist at youtube.com/allusionistshow, instagram.com/allusionistshow, facebook.com/allusionistshow, @allusionistshow.bsky.social… If I’m there, I’m there as @allusionistshow. 

Our ad partner is Multitude. If you want me to talk compellingly about your product, sponsor an episode: contact Multitude at multitudeshows.com/ads.

This episode is sponsored by: Squarespace, your one-stop shop for building and running your online forever home. Go to squarespace.com/allusionist for a free trial, and get 10 percent off your first purchase of a website or domain with the code allusionist.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

228. Draculae part 2: Surprises in the Vaults

A literary mystery came to me via a meme: “Someone translated Dracula into Icelandic, and it took over 100 years for anyone to point out he just made a fanfic rewrite of what he wanted the story to be.” 

In this first instalment of a short series about three versions of Dracula, we familiarise ourselves with the plots of Dracula published by Bram Stoker in 1897; the Icelandic version Makt Myrkranna by newspaper editor Valdimar Ásmundsson, serialised in his newspaper Fyallkonan in 1900-1901; and the Swedish version Mörkrets makter by an author known only as A—e, and serialised in a couple of Swedish newspapers 1899-1900. 

Visit theallusionist.org/draculae1 for more information about the topics in this episode plus a transcript.

Sign up at theallusionist.org/donate to fund the continuing existence of this independent podcast. In return, you can join me for regular livestreams where I read relaxingly from my ever-expanding collection of vintage dictionaries, plus behind the scenes info about every episode, membership of the Allusioverse Discord community, and watchalong parties for films and TV shows.

Find the Allusionist at youtube.com/allusionistshow, instagram.com/allusionistshow, facebook.com/allusionistshow, @allusionistshow.bsky.social… If I’m there, I’m there as @allusionistshow. 

Our ad partner is Multitude. If you want me to talk compellingly about your product, sponsor an episode: contact Multitude at multitudeshows.com/ads.

This episode is sponsored by:

• Squarespace, your one-stop shop for building and running your online forever home. Go to squarespace.com/allusionist for a free trial, and get 10 percent off your first purchase of a website or domain with the code allusionist.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

227. Draculae part 1: Enter the Castle

"The word ‘suburbia’ sort of evokes a very fixed idea of a place that is identikit, that all suburbs are the same, that within the suburb everything is the same, that all people are the same, all experiences are the same," says social historian and author John Grindrod, "I think it has this kind of flattening-out facility, that word, that isn't true."

Content note: this episode contains one category B swear. And reference to Margaret Thatcher.

Visit theallusionist.org/suburbia for more information about the topics in this episode plus a transcript. Find John Grindrod's work at johngrindrod.co.uk, including his new book Tales of the Suburbs: LGBTQ+ Lives Behind Net Curtains, and his podcast Monstrosities Mon Amour.

This episode was produced by me, Helen Zaltzman, on the unceded ancestral and traditional territory of xʷməθkʷəy̓əm (Musqueam), Sḵwx̱wú7mesh (Squamish), and səlilwətaɬ (Tsleil-Waututh) Nations. Music and editorial advice were provided by Martin Austwick of palebirdmusic.com.

Sign up at theallusionist.org/donate to fund the continuing existence of this independent podcast. In return, you can join me for regular livestreams where I read relaxingly from my ever-expanding collection of vintage dictionaries, plus behind the scenes info about every episode, membership of the Allusioverse Discord community, and watchalong parties for films and TV shows - we had a very special time watching the film adaptation of Maurice. What shall we watch next?

Find the Allusionist at youtube.com/allusionistshow, instagram.com/allusionistshow, facebook.com/allusionistshow, @allusionistshow.bsky.social… If I’m there, I’m there as @allusionistshow. 

Our ad partner is Multitude. If you want me to talk compellingly about your product, sponsor an episode: contact Multitude at multitudeshows.com/ads.

This episode is sponsored by:

• Squarespace, your one-stop shop for building and running your online forever home. Go to squarespace.com/allusionist for a free trial, and get 10 percent off your first purchase of a website or domain with the code allusionist.

• Quince, luxurious clothing and homewares at prices 50-80% lower than comparable brands. Go to Quince.com/allusionist for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns.

• Factor, fully prepared meals designed by dietitians and crafted by chefs with 100 menu options each week, always fresh never frozen. To get 50 percent off and free breakfast for a year, go to factormeals.com/allusionist50off and use code allusionist50off.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

226. Suburbia

You know what's an absolutely pesky kind of word to define in a dictionary? Colour names. A passel of lexicographers spent years - decades, even - trying different ways to describe colours in words for Webster's Third International Dictionary. It was such a huge, complicated effort that it took twelve years for former Merriam-Webster lexicographer Kory Stamper to write a book about it.

Content note: this episode contains a couple of category B swears. There is also mention of puke - but, emetophobes, it's not the puke that you think.

Visit theallusionist.org/hues for more information about the topics in this episode plus a transcript of the episode. Find Kory's work at korystamper.com, including her new book True Color: the Strange and Spectacular Quest to Define Color, from Azure to Zinc.

This episode was produced by me, Helen Zaltzman, on the unceded ancestral and traditional territory of xʷməθkʷəy̓əm (Musqueam), Sḵwx̱wú7mesh (Squamish), and səlilwətaɬ (Tsleil-Waututh) Nations. Music and editorial advice were provided by Martin Austwick of palebirdmusic.com.

Sign up at theallusionist.org/donate to join me for regular livestreams where I read from my ever-expanding collection of vintage dictionaries. This multi-year project has proven very revealing about the idiosyncrasies of dictionaries, and the people who write them! (Some of whom alas can't get enough of the word 'pudend.) As well as that, you get behind the scenes info about every episode, plus watchalong parties for films and TV shows - you're in time to catch the end of the first season of the very funny Australian murder mystery Deadloch - and you get the company of your fellows in the Allusioverse Discord community. And best of all, you're funding the continuing existence of this independent podcast.

Find the Allusionist at youtube.com/allusionistshow, instagram.com/allusionistshow, facebook.com/allusionistshow, @allusionistshow.bsky.social… If I’m there, I’m there as @allusionistshow. 

Our ad partner is Multitude. If you want me to talk compellingly about your product, sponsor an episode: contact Multitude at multitudeshows.com/ads.

This episode is sponsored by:

• Squarespace, your one-stop shop for building and running your online forever home. Go to squarespace.com/allusionist for a free trial, and get 10 percent off your first purchase of a website or domain with the code allusionist.

• Quince, luxurious clothing and homewares at prices 50-80% lower than comparable brands. Go to Quince.com/allusionist for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns.

• Factor, fully prepared meals designed by dietitians and crafted by chefs with 100 menu options each week, always fresh never frozen. To get 50 percent off and free breakfast for a year, go to factormeals.com/allusionist50off and use code allusionist50off.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

225. Hues

Your online dating profile is the latest spin on a 300-year-old tradition of advertising yourself in order to find a spouse, a sexual partner, or someone to take care of your pigs.
 
Francesca Beauman, author of Shapely Ankle Preferr’d: A History of the Lonely Hearts Ad, digs into lonely hearts ads to see how British society and desires have evolved over the past three centuries.
 
For full show notes and links, visit http://theallusionist.org/wltm-i. Say hello at http://twitter.com/allusionistshow and http://facebook.com/allusionistshow.

Support the show: http://patreon.com/allusionist

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

28. WLTM part I

Lyt når som helst, hvor som helst

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