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BBC Sounds

How to Be in Love - Rylan is embarking on a mission to find love. He’s loved passionately, lost messily, and is now ready to find love once again.

But what is love truly about? And how can we find it – and make it last?

From a young age, we’re taught that love is the ultimate fairytale – that finding ‘the one’ will finally complete us. But is it time to look at love differently? 

Over 13 episodes, Rylan’s guests will help him rediscover what love is – what we should be looking for in a partner (or partners!) and attempting to find the secrets of a healthy, long-term relationship.

A Mindhouse production for BBC Sounds.

Rylan: How to Be a Man

Rylan is embarking on a mission to find love. He's loved passionately, lost messily, and is now ready to find love once again. 

But what is love truly about? And how can we find it - and make it last? 

From a young age, we're taught that love is the ultimate fairytale - that finding 'the one' will finally complete us. But is it time to look at love differently? 

Over 12 episodes, Rylan's guests will help him rediscover what love is - what we should be looking for in a partner (or partners!) and attempting to find the secrets of a healthy, long-term relationship.

How to Be in Love: Trailer

Rylan sits down with actor, writer and President of Mind, Stephen Fry, who discusses how love has helped shaped his life. 

From the impossibly high standards set by his parents’ relationship, to the impact of living through the AIDS crisis, and a self-imposed 15-year stretch of celibacy. Plus, having recently celebrated 10 years of marriage, Stephen shares how being in an age-gap relationship has unexpectedly introduced him to the worlds of wrestling and rap. 

How to Be in Love – Rylan has loved passionately, lost messily, and is now ready to rediscover what ‘love’ is. But does he need to look at love differently before he can find it again?

Host: Rylan
Assistant Producer: Ben Johns
Producer: Katie Grant
Production Manager: Francesca Bassett
Executive Producers: Barnaby Coughlin and Arron Fellows
Music: Miguel d'Oliveira
Assistant Commissioner: Will Drysdale
Commissioning Editor: Rhian Roberts
A Mindhouse production for BBC Sounds

How to Be in Love: Stephen Fry: From 15 years of celibacy to finding love

Rylan is joined by musician and actor Rebecca Lucy Taylor, better known as Self Esteem. Rebecca shares her experience of being in non-monogamous relationships and pushing back against societal norms. She also discusses being bisexual and how her relationship with her ‘current male lover’ has challenged her preconceived ideas of what she wanted love to be.

How to Be in Love – Rylan has loved passionately, lost messily, and is now ready to rediscover what ‘love’ is. But does he need to look at love differently before he can find it again?

Host: Rylan
Assistant Producer: Ben Johns
Producer: Katie Grant
Production Manager: Francesca Bassett
Executive Producers: Barnaby Coughlin and Arron Fellows
Music: Miguel d'Oliveira
Assistant Commissioner: Will Drysdale
Commissioning Editor: Rhian Roberts
A Mindhouse production for BBC Sounds

How to Be in Love: Self Esteem: On bisexuality, non-monogamy, and her ‘current male lover’

Rylan is joined by the writer and broadcaster Reverend Richard Coles who shares how his life, and his faith, have shaped his understanding of love.

Richard discusses how he turned his back on the sex, drugs and rock and roll lifestyle and anonymous roadside romances, to follow the calling of Christ to become a vicar. He also speaks about finding the love of his life, in his late partner David, and how his experience of grief had him believe he would never want to love again. Richard opens up about how he navigated losing love, to rediscovering it once more with his current partner, and shares his belief on what he thinks love will look like in the afterlife.

How to Be in Love – Rylan has loved passionately, lost messily, and is now ready to rediscover what ‘love’ is. But does he need to look at love differently before he can find it again?

Host: Rylan
Assistant Producer: Ben Johns
Producer: Katie Grant
Production Manager: Francesca Bassett
Executive Producers: Arron Fellows
Music: Miguel d'Oliveira
Assistant Commissioner: Will Drysdale
Commissioning Editor: Rhian Roberts
A Mindhouse production for BBC Sounds

How to Be in Love: Richard Coles: On losing the love of his life and casual roadside encounters

Does ‘The One’ exist? How does our childhood impact our romantic relationships? Rylan and psychotherapist Philippa Perry take a deep dive into what could be holding us back from finding long-lasting love. Philippa also shares how her husband of 33 years, the artist Grayson Perry, changed her understanding of what love could be.

How to Be in Love – Rylan has loved passionately, lost messily, and is now ready to rediscover what ‘love’ is. But does he need to look at love differently before he can find it again?

Host: Rylan
Assistant Producer: Ben Johns
Producer: Katie Grant
Production Manager: Francesca Bassett
Executive Producers: Barnaby Coughlin and Arron Fellows
Music: Miguel d'Oliveira
Assistant Commissioner: Will Drysdale
Commissioning Editor: Rhian Roberts
A Mindhouse production for BBC Sounds

How to Be in Love: Philippa Perry: There is no such thing as ‘The One’

Rylan is joined by writer and activist Munroe Bergdorf. Growing up as a trans woman, Munroe never believed that love was possible. She speaks to Rylan about pushing the boundaries of her sexual identity and discusses how falling in love with a woman for the first time was the most unexpected, yet pivotal, moment in her own journey with love.

How to Be in Love – Rylan has loved passionately, lost messily, and is now ready to rediscover what ‘love’ is. But does he need to look at love differently before he can find it again?

Host: Rylan
Assistant Producer: Ben Johns
Producer: Katie Grant
Production Manager: Francesca Bassett
Executive Producers: Barnaby Coughlin and Arron Fellows
Music: Miguel d'Oliveira
Assistant Commissioner: Will Drysdale
Commissioning Editor: Rhian Roberts
A Mindhouse production for BBC Sounds

How to Be in Love: Munroe Bergdorf: Transitioning is the biggest decision to love yourself

Rylan speaks to former porn star Rebecca More about what she has learnt about love from a 15-year career in the sex industry. Rebecca reveals how heartbreak brought on a sex addiction and shares her unique insight into the secret, and somewhat shocking, desires of her former clients. Rebecca also discusses the stigma of finding love as a sex worker, and how her decision to quit the world of porn was sparked by her desire to find true love.

How to Be in Love – Rylan has loved passionately, lost messily, and is now ready to rediscover what ‘love’ is. But does he need to look at love differently before he can find it again?

Host: Rylan
Assistant Producer: Ben Johns
Producer: Katie Grant
Production Manager: Francesca Bassett
Executive Producers: Barnaby Coughlin and Arron Fellows
Music: Miguel d'Oliveira
Assistant Commissioner: Will Drysdale
Commissioning Editor: Rhian Roberts
A Mindhouse production for BBC Sounds

How to Be in Love: Rebecca More: Exiting the adult entertainment industry to find love

Rylan is joined by model and former Strictly Come Dancing contestant Tasha Ghouri who discusses how her experience of falling in love for the first time was broadcast on TV.

Tasha rose to prominence on reality TV dating show Love Island, with millions of viewers watching her fall in love with her then partner, Andrew Le Page. For over two and a half years, Tasha and Andrew appeared to have the perfect relationship, documented heavily across social media. However, at the start of the 2025, the couple announced their break-up. Tasha speaks to Rylan about the pressures of navigating a relationship in the spotlight and gives her side of the story on what contributed to their split. She also reveals her hopes of finding love and happiness in the future.

How to Be in Love – Rylan has loved passionately, lost messily, and is now ready to rediscover what ‘love’ is. But does he need to look at love differently before he can find it again?

Host: Rylan
Assistant Producer: Ben Johns and Maan Al-Yasiri
Producer: Katie Grant
Production Manager: Francesca Bassett
Executive Producers: Arron Fellows
Music: Miguel d'Oliveira
Assistant Commissioner: Will Drysdale
Commissioning Editor: Rhian Roberts
A Mindhouse production for BBC Sounds

How to Be in Love: Tasha Ghouri: Finding love on TV, and breaking up in the public eye

Media personality Calum Best was branded a lothario by the tabloid press, as he enjoyed the seemingly endless fruits of the international party scene during the 2000s. But how fair was this label? And has that reputation impeded him from finding true love?

Rylan speaks to Calum about dating under the glare of the spotlight and finds out if now, at the age of 44, he is finally ready to be in love. Calum also discusses his experience of growing up with an alcoholic parent, and how his relationship with his father, footballer George Best, triggered abandonment issues which may have influenced his actions in relationships of his own.

How to Be in Love – Rylan has loved passionately, lost messily, and is now ready to rediscover what ‘love’ is. But does he need to look at love differently before he can find it again?

Host: Rylan
Assistant Producer: Ben Johns
Producer: Katie Grant
Production Manager: Francesca Bassett
Executive Producer: Arron Fellows
Music: Miguel d'Oliveira
Assistant Commissioner: Will Drysdale
Commissioning Editor: Rhian Roberts
A Mindhouse production for BBC Sounds

How to Be in Love: Calum Best: On being branded a lothario, and why he’s never truly been in love

What rules the way we love: our heads or our hearts? And are romantic feelings little more than a set of chemical reactions in our brain? Rylan is joined by neuroscientist and best-selling author, Dr Tara Swart, to uncover the science behind being in love. Dr Tara explains how our ability to love has been embedded in our brains since the days of the cavemen and reveals how hormones influence the different ways men and women bond in relationships.

As a self-admitted lover of fragrance, Rylan also learns from Dr Tara about how his penchant for perfume may be holding him back from connecting with potential partners, and the role that scent and smell plays in our ability to form ties with romantic interests.

How to Be in Love – Rylan has loved passionately, lost messily, and is now ready to rediscover what ‘love’ is. But does he need to look at love differently before he can find it again?

Host: Rylan
Assistant Producer: Ben Johns
Producer: Katie Grant
Production Manager: Francesca Bassett
Executive Producer: Arron Fellows
Music: Miguel d'Oliveira
Assistant Commissioner: Will Drysdale
Commissioning Editor: Rhian Roberts
A Mindhouse production for BBC Sounds

How to Be in Love: Dr Tara Swart: ‘Good chemistry’ and the science behind being in love

Rylan speaks to actor and activist Jameela Jamil about her experiences in the spotlight. Honest as ever, Jameela tells Rylan about the raucous years working at T4, accidentally getting her role on The Good Place, and the online feuds she regrets most.

Rylan explores the good, the bad and the ugly of being thrust into the spotlight - with those who've lived to tell the tale.

Details of help and support with eating disorders is available at bbc.co.uk/actionline.

Host: Rylan
Assistant Producer: Monetta Pierre
Producer: Millie Chu
Production Manager: Francesca Bassett
Executive Producers: Barnaby Coughlin and Arron Fellows
Music: Miguel d'Oliveira
Assistant Commissioner: Will Drysdale
Commissioning Editor: Rhian Roberts
A Mindhouse production for BBC Sounds

How to Be in the Spotlight: Jameela Jamil – Online feuds and problematic Vogue shoots

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