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Bucket of Milk


In this improvised narrative role playing podcast, come and join artists, writers, and comedians from Adult Swim, Cartoon Network, Comedy Central, Marvel Comics, and more as they fight and fumble their way across the madcap, and exceedingly rude, fantasy wasteland of Cordelia. Branson Reese and his jester's retinue, Christopher Hastings, Carly Monardo, Tim Platt, Joe Lepore, and Ali Fisher star as a group of unlikely survivors (a talking crow, a lich in a wig, a bubbly fawn, a Sasquatch punk, and a tiefling hunk, specifically) who must solve the mystery of Polaris University's vanishment and return balance and higher education to their world. It's going to be very hard and very, very, rude.


Rude Tales of Magic

The gang enters the mosquito temple. Will they survive it's many dangers? Well with Paris blinded and covered in unending darkness...could go either way!

Follow us on twitter for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to contact us, all things considered.

Special Thanks as always to Sydney and Benjamin Paul and Tyler Button!

This episode features additional sound design by Michaël Ghelfi. Michaël creates brilliantly crafted soundscapes and ambient tracks for all sort of productions and they make perfect accompaniment to your ttrpg home games. Find his work on YouTube, and support that good stuff on Patreon.

Subscribe and Rate Rude Tales of Magic on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review!

Advertise on Rude Tales of Magic via Gumball.fm.

Support the show: https://www.rudetalesofmagic.com/

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Portrait of a Problem

"Silent night, holy night"? Fat chance! This holiday season, we're treating you to a fully produced bonus game from the Rude Crew: Tom Bloom's "Goblin With A Fat Ass". Run and produced by Rude Tales of Magic's Carly Monardo, this very special episode introduces Rude Tales of Magic: Nethermurk's GM, Christopher Hastings, Joe Lepore (Rude Tales of Magic) and Branson "Rude Tales of Magic" Reese as a trio of disgusting little gobbos, trying to pull off the biggest heist since [whatever the latest Oceans movie is at the time of your reading this]. It's not silent, and it's not holy: it's art.

To hear the rest of this incredible adventure, head straight to our Patreon for all those fat asses and so much more!

Advertise on Rude Tales of Magic via Gumball.fm.

Support the show: https://www.rudetalesofmagic.com/

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

[PATREON PREVIEW] Goblin With a Fat Ass, GM'ed By Carly!

Every year, the Rude Tales crew plays Yuletide Kombat Family, an amazing adventure where holiday characters fight each other to save Christmas (I think?). This year, however, the battle is PROM-THEMED! How? Why? Who? Huh? All will be answered in YULETIDE KOMBAT FAMILY IV: PROM!

Yuletide Kombat Family is invented, GM’d, produced, and sound designed by Tim Platt. Editing from Sam Grant with special fighting music from Steve DeSiena. BUCKET OF MILK 4 LIFE BABY!

Want to support Rude Tales and get access to all kinds of fulfilling, enriching content at the same time?? My friend you simply must join us on PATREON for bonus pods, original art, the Rude Tales discord, and so, so, so much more.

Special Thanks as always to Sydney and Benjamin Paul and Tyler Button!

Subscribe and Rate Rude Tales of Magic on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review!

Advertise on Rude Tales of Magic via Gumball.fm.

Support the show: https://www.rudetalesofmagic.com/

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Yuletide Kombat 2024: PROM EDITION

As a special end of year treat for you, our finest listeners, we're unlocking a taste of some of the dee-lectable bonus content you can find on our PATREON! We can't make the show without our beautiful Patreon supporters- you seem beautiful, shouldn't you be one of them?

Wealthy Poorson, one of the 10 richest Batpeople in the Nethermurk, used his immense fortune to travel every inch of our wonderful underground world. It has been said that Wealthy Poorson has seen everything there is to see in the Nethermurk—and then some!

Realizing that the wealth-challenged may be unable to devote so much of their time to exploration, Wealthy set out to record all he has learned of the Nethermurk- from its glittering cities to its weirdest little freaks. And thus began Wealthy Poorson's Nethermurk Almanack.

Today's Entry: Water.

Subscribe and Rate Rude Tales of Magic on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review!

Advertise on Rude Tales of Magic via Gumball.fm.

Support the show: https://www.rudetalesofmagic.com/

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

[UNLOCKED] Wealthy Poorson's Nethermurk Almanack: Water

Uh Oh! Our heroes are trapped in the clutches of Sanguina Bob, Paris is still covered in Neon Black, Uly seems to be getting stranger-sorry, more human- by the minute, it's getting to be too much! I just hope, and pray, that plot lines don't begin to shockingly converge!!

Follow us on twitter for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to contact us, all things considered.

Special Thanks as always to Sydney and Benjamin Paul and Tyler Button!

This episode features additional sound design by Michaël Ghelfi. Michaël creates brilliantly crafted soundscapes and ambient tracks for all sort of productions and they make perfect accompaniment to your ttrpg home games. Find his work on YouTube, and support that good stuff on Patreon.

Subscribe and Rate Rude Tales of Magic on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review!

Advertise on Rude Tales of Magic via Gumball.fm.

Support the show: https://www.rudetalesofmagic.com/

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Blood Drive

With Lemon captured by the villainous Agrigenta Salumeria and her devious parasite Fingerdale, Linus, Uly, and Paris have no choice but to discuss the evolution of the Sid Meier's Civilizati—rescue her! And when Lemon and her captors reach Pennsylvania Base Camp, you know that can only mean one thing: Intercourse!

Follow us on twitter for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to contact us, all things considered.

Special Thanks as always to Sydney and Benjamin Paul and Tyler Button!

This episode features additional sound design by Michaël Ghelfi. Michaël creates brilliantly crafted soundscapes and ambient tracks for all sort of productions and they make perfect accompaniment to your ttrpg home games. Find his work on YouTube, and support that good stuff on Patreon.

Subscribe and Rate Rude Tales of Magic on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review!

Advertise on Rude Tales of Magic via Gumball.fm.

Support the show: https://www.rudetalesofmagic.com/

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

No Lemon, No Party

With Studio Ghibli (Joe Lepore) and the creature known only as "Ranger" (Tim Platt) in hot pursuit of Agrigenta, it's only a matter of time before they find her and stop her wild machinations. That is, as long as they don't run into a truly strange parade. A strange parade indeed...

Follow us on twitter for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to contact us, all things considered.

Special Thanks as always to Sydney and Benjamin Paul and Tyler Button!

This episode features additional sound design by Michaël Ghelfi. Michaël creates brilliantly crafted soundscapes and ambient tracks for all sort of productions and they make perfect accompaniment to your ttrpg home games. Find his work on YouTube, and support that good stuff on Patreon.

Subscribe and Rate Rude Tales of Magic on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review!

Advertise on Rude Tales of Magic via Gumball.fm.

Support the show: https://www.rudetalesofmagic.com/

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

A Big Bad Baptism

Finally our heroes do the unthinkable: meet a bunch of weird guys on boats! Watch out, folks! First two podcast rows will get wet!

And meanwhile: A shoe repair appointment takes an interesting turn...

Follow us on twitter for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to contact us, all things considered.

Special Thanks as always to Sydney and Benjamin Paul and Tyler Button, and our Big Freak Spacejamfan!

This episode features additional sound design by Michaël Ghelfi. Michaël creates brilliantly crafted soundscapes and ambient tracks for all sort of productions and they make perfect accompaniment to your ttrpg home games. Find his work on YouTube, and support that good stuff on Patreon.

Subscribe and Rate Rude Tales of Magic on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review!

Advertise on Rude Tales of Magic via Gumball.fm.

Support the show: https://www.rudetalesofmagic.com/

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Weird Guys on Boats

BEEP BEEP! Special Guest Pod on the Feed!

Three minions are left alive after the dungeon where they work is ransacked by "heroes." Led by gamemaster Amy Vorpahl, two skeletons (Danielle Radford and Dan Casey) and a goblin (Jason Nguyen) set out to see if they can escape the pit into which they've fallen, find their friends, and get back to serving their overlord. Goblin Mode is also available as a video podcast at https://www.youtube.com/geekandsundry

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Introducing Sagas of Sundry: Goblin Mode

Now that Kathleen Kelly (Meg Ryan) has finally found love in-of all places-the heart of Book Megastore tycoon Joe Fox (Tom Hanks), she thinks she has it all. But when Joe heads off to open the world's largest bookstore across the pond, can his same old emails compete with the new missives she starts receiving from a mysterious stranger? And when former employee-turned-online-bookseller George Pappas (Steve Zahn) comes to Kathleen with jaw-dropping offer, will she ever reach Inbox Zero again?

Follow us on twitter for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to contact us, all things considered.

Special Thanks as always to Sydney and Benjamin Paul and Tyler Button, and our Big Freak Spacejamfan!

This episode features additional sound design by Michaël Ghelfi. Michaël creates brilliantly crafted soundscapes and ambient tracks for all sort of productions and they make perfect accompaniment to your ttrpg home games. Find his work on YouTube, and support that good stuff on Patreon.

Subscribe and Rate Rude Tales of Magic on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review!

Advertise on Rude Tales of Magic via Gumball.fm.

Support the show: https://www.rudetalesofmagic.com/

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

You've Got Mail 2: You've Still Got Mail

Last year Tim Platt (Stirfry, Smellulus, Tim Platt, Davo) decided to try and run his own game of Honey Heist. Thank god we recorded it, because it must be heard to be believed. Unfortunately the audio had severe problems. Now, a year later, it has been fully restored, and this ABSOLUTE TREASURE of a game is being released today on our patreon. Here is but one sublime taste of the absolute FEAST that awaits you over on the patreon. We'll see you in two weeks when we return to Cordelia. Until then, Heist this Honey, grizzly mama.

Produced by Kodiak Sanders

Starring Branson Reese, Ali Fisher, Joe Lepore, Christopher Hastings, Taylor Moore and the entire contents of Tim Platt's subconscious mind.

Grant Howitt (wonderful, handsome, friend of the show) wrote Honey Heist. We recommend anything by him.

Subscribe to and rate Rude Tales of Magic on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review!

Follow the show:

Twitter: @of_rude

Instagram: @rudetalesofmagic

Advertise on Rude Tales of Magic via Gumball.fm.

Support the show: https://www.rudetalesofmagic.com/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

TEASER: Tim Platt's Honey Heist

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