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JLML Press

In the 25+ years Janet Lansbury has worked with children and parents, she's learned a lot. She's here to share it with you. Each episode of Unruffled addresses a reader's parenting issue through the lens of Janet's respectful parenting approach, consistently offering a perspective shift that ultimately frees parents of the need for scripts, strategies, tricks, and tactics.
Janet is a parenting author and consultant whose website (JanetLansbury.com) is visited by millions of readers annually. Her work informs, inspires, and supports caregivers of infants and toddlers across the globe, helping to create authentic relationships of respect, trust, and love.
Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse and JanetLansbury. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or wherever you buy your books.
Featured in The New Yorker, recommended 'Best Parenting Podcast' by The Washington Post, The New York Times, USA Today, The Cut, Fatherly, Today's Parent, and many, many more.
Please note: This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. The views and advice presented on this podcast by Janet Lansbury and her guests are based on their training and experience. Opinions are offered in good faith but do not constitute professional, psychiatric, or medical advice, neither are they intended to be. You do not have to use this information, and it should not be substituted for qualified medical expertise.
Copyright JLML Press (2025) All Rights Reserved

Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled

The parent of a 7-year-old describes writes that her daughter has become relentlessly negative and argumentative. "It feels like everything is a debate, and she says no to almost every request." As one of Janet's longtime followers, she knows not to take the behavior personally, tries to maintain a light attitude, but she often finds herself lecturing and sometimes completely losing her cool. She wonders if Janet can suggest some other way to deal with her daughter's negative attitude. "I feel so exhausted from all the debating and negotiating and fighting." 

Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is at: NoBadKidsCourse.com

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Negativity, Pushback, No to EVERYTHING

It's unnerving when our kids engage in conflict with siblings or peers, whether it's over a toy, their perceived 'space', or even our attentions. As emotions escalate, so does grabbing, pushing, and sometimes hitting. No parent wants to witness this, and our instinct tends to be to try to manage the situation by separating the warring factions, comforting hurts and disappointments, figuring out alternative activities our kids can engage in, or admonishing them to "share." But peer and, especially, sibling conflicts offer our kids crucial developmental opportunities. Janet offers her perspective and advice to a parent whose children are constantly battling. She discusses how we can support our kids to resolve and learn from their conflicts, and when and how they need us to intervene.

Janet's "No Bad Kids" Master Course is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com.

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Fighting Is Playing (Let the Kids Work It Out)

Janet welcomes a timely visit from iconic educator Mr. Chazz who shares how parents and teachers can help kids successfully transition to a new preschool or childcare situation. His focus is on trust and maintaining the sense of connection that supports parents and kids to separate with confidence. 

Janet's "No Bad Kids" Master Course is at nobadkidscourse.com. 

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Making a Successful Transition to Preschool (with Mr. Chazz)

A parent describes her 4-year-old son as energetic, independent and strong-willed. While she appreciates her son’s enthusiasm and free spirit, she constantly struggles to reign him in and finds herself yelling, "You're not listening!" As an example, she says they often take nature walks with friends, and he inevitably runs ahead at an unsafe distance. She feels overwhelmed, especially when they are out with other parents “that have high expectations for behavior." In this encore episode, Janet offers a few ways to help her son listen but “without killing his free spirit.”
Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com.
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How to Help a Strong-Willed Child (Without Wounding His Spirit)

The practice of acknowledging our children's feelings and struggles can provide healing, calming messages of safety and acceptance. With a genuine tone and a few words, our acknowledgments can help children share pent-up emotions, feel seen and heard, and gradually regulate, which in turn eases problematic behaviors. However, parents commonly share with Janet that validating feelings doesn't work for their child and feels more like an exercise in frustration. In this encore episode, Janet speaks to some of the common reasons this practice might feel less effective, what to do instead, and why we shouldn't give up on acknowledging as a powerfully empathic relationship-building tool.
Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com.
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Validating Feelings Isn't Working

Janet responds to 3 messages from listeners who say their kids exhibit aggressive or violent behavior towards their peers, in one case "pushing, hitting, or attacking faces, sometimes without warning." While all these parents recognize that fatigue and other discomforts can contribute to this behavior, it often seems that their kids lash out for no reason at all. These parents have come to distrust their kids in social situations and are at their wit's end, worried they've done something wrong. "I feel like we have tried everything, and nothing is working. I just cry now because I don't know what I'm supposed to do." Janet offers insights that she hopes will ease these parents' minds as it helps them understand their children's behavior and respond in a manner that effectively changes it.
Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com.
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The Help Toddlers Need With Aggressive Behavior

In a previous "Unruffled" episode, Janet offered advice to a parent who was struggling with potty training. That parent wrote back recently to announce her daughter's 4-year saga had finally come to a successful conclusion... it was NOT the result of the parents following Janet's advice, but going full speed ahead in the opposite direction. In this episode, Janet revisits the guidance she originally offered, and explains why she believes her advice was unhelpful to this family.
Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com.
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See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

 
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The Bad Advice I Gave About Toilet Training

In this popular encore episode, a parent writes that she’s overwhelmed by her two girls constantly demanding her attention, following her around their home and calling “Mommy! Mommy!” even if they are in the same room. “It’s driving me mad,” she writes. “It’s like a dripping tap. It is getting to the point where I just want to scream.” This mom notices that the girls don’t have this dynamic with their father. In fact, even if he is sitting beside them and she is in another room, they still call to her. Understandably, she feels drained and wonders if Janet can tell her what she’s doing wrong.
Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com.
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See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

 
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Calming Our Reactivity to Children's Irritating, Demanding Behaviors

Janet is joined by Grace Lautman, a therapist and nutritionist who focuses on eating disorders, the conditions that can create and aggravate them, and how eating — or not eating — can be a symptom of mental health issues. She writes: "My hope has always been to provide accepting spaces for all individuals and bodies to explore and honor their relationships with food, body, and self." Janet and Grace discuss some of the early signs of eating disorders, and how our own relationship with food and body image throughout our lives can affect our children beginning in the early years. 

Grace's Website: https://www.honornutritioncounseling.com/

Instagram: honor_nutrition_counseling

Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com.

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See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

 
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Eating Disorders, Healthy Body Image: What Parents Need to Know (With Grace Lautman, CN, LMHC)

We all want our kids to enjoy thriving friendships, to feel appreciated by supportive peers. But that's not always case, and it can be heartbreaking to see the hurt, disappointment, and confusion our child feels when — for whatever reason —friends aren't treating them as they should. How do we support our kids' to navigate this? How much should we intervene? And what might intervening look like? Janet has an empowering perspective that she hopes will help, and she explains how it might apply in the cases of 4 different families who have recently reached out to her about their kids' challenging interactions with peers. 
Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com.
Please support our sponsors.
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

 
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Validating Feelings Isn't Working

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