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JLML Press

In the 25+ years Janet Lansbury has worked with children and parents, she's learned a lot. She's here to share it with you. Each episode of Unruffled addresses a reader's parenting issue through the lens of Janet's respectful parenting approach, consistently offering a perspective shift that ultimately frees parents of the need for scripts, strategies, tricks, and tactics.

Janet is a parenting author and consultant whose website (JanetLansbury.com) is visited by millions of readers annually. Her work informs, inspires, and supports caregivers of infants and toddlers across the globe, helping to create authentic relationships of respect, trust, and love.

Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse and JanetLansbury. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or wherever you buy your books. 

Featured in The New Yorker, recommended 'Best Parenting Podcast' by The Washington Post, The New York Times, USA Today, The Cut, Fatherly, Today's Parent, and many, many more.

Please note: This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. The views and advice presented on this podcast by Janet Lansbury and her guests are based on their training and experience. Opinions are offered in good faith but do not constitute professional, psychiatric, or medical advice, neither are they intended to be. You do not have to use this information, and it should not be substituted for qualified medical expertise.

Copyright JLML Press (2025) All Rights Reserved

Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled

Most of us hope that as our children venture out into the world, they'll possess enough innate assertiveness to set boundaries and navigate the common struggles of childhood like toy taking, unwanted roughhousing, unkind words, bullying. When our kids don’t stand up for themselves, it’s easy to assume that their lack of assertiveness is derived from a lack of self-confidence. Janet doesn’t believe that’s necessarily true and responds to two emails from listeners who are concerned about their children’s seeming inability to assert themselves in social situations. One parent describes her son being bullied on the school bus. Another says her daughter’s friend is clingy, bossy, and controlling, and this parent doesn’t believe her child has the self-confidence to set a boundary. Janet addresses each situation and offers advice for how the parents can help in the most effective manner. 

Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.

Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.

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See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Encouraging Kids To Be More Assertive

What do we do if we know our kids can practice a new skill, and yet they don't or won't? Three families reach out to Janet with concerns about their children's developmental progress. In one case, a 12-month-old doesn't seem interested in crawling, and the parent has been advised to try to make this happen. A second parent expresses her dismay ("I don't know how to undo what I've done!") that her 3-year-old will no longer draw. The child's refusal began when the parent innocently followed her child's request to draw pictures for her. A third parent says that her 3.5-year-old has been ready to use the potty since she was 2 but is "absolutely set on being in diapers forever." Just as with the other two parents, this mom is trying to trust her daughter's process, but her doubts keep seeping in, and she wonders if there's some action she should be taking. 

Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.

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When Kids Don't Seem Motivated (to Potty, Crawl, or Create)

Wouldn’t parenting be easier if our kids’ behavior was always stellar? Unfortunately, for most of us that isn't the case. It is during those difficult times especially, when our child is tired or hungry or angry (or their behavior just seems terrible and we're mystified as to what's gotten into them), that they need us to be their confident, empathic leader—a role that doesn't always come naturally. In this episode, Janet shares a shortlist of simple reminders for making setting limits with our kids feel more comfortable and organic. Because, as she says, we all deserve to feel successful! 

Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.

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5 Daily Discipline Reminders

Janet’s guest this week is Neha Ruch, a writer and speaker on parenting, women, work, and identity. Her personal journey from career through parenthood led her to question and ultimately reject society’s stereotypical view of the stay-at-home parent and its limitations, and instead celebrate the possibilities. Neha is the founder of Mother Untitled (.com), which seeks to reimagine parenthood as a pause or “downshift" and an opportunity to find our passions. Through Mother Untitled, Neha connects a growing community of like minded parents with resources geared to support and further their goals. Her new book, “The Power Pause: How to Plan a Career Break After Kids--and Come Back Stronger Than Ever” will be out in mid-January.

Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.

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Embrace the Privilege of Parenthood (With Neha Ruch)

In this encore episode, a mom is at her wit's end and describes a series of challenging family separations and transitions, including the birth of a sibling. Now one of her twins yells and screams from morning until night. The other twin is defiant and “is always telling me ‘no’ and doing things he knows he’s not supposed to be doing.” This mom says their behavior is so extreme she spends most of the day in tears, feeling like a failure, and then ends up yelling. She’s looking for Janet’s advice how she might deal with her twins’ behavior.

Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.

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Dear Parents: You Are Not Failing

Janet responds to a question from a caregiver who says the family she works for is interested in teaching their son ABC's and other lessons. The child is sometimes disinterested and refuses to participate, and she wonders: “Is there a respectful approach to teaching children?” Janet responds with an alternative perspective on early childhood learning that focuses on providing the best foundation possible for children to develop their innate abilities and a lifelong love of learning. This is an encore episode. 

Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.

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Be Careful What You Teach - It Might Interfere With What They Are Learning

Raising kids is a learning process, and (no doubt) there's a benefit to reflecting on the mistakes we make along the way. But Janet believes we can learn even more when we recognize and appreciate our successes, no matter how inconsequential they might seem to us as the time. Maybe it's the little bit of empathy we felt as we limited one of our child's bothersome behaviors. Or a momentary sense of confidence in ourselves as leaders rising above the fray. Or the realization that we could, just that once, let our child's feelings be without judging them, and then, the increased closeness we felt with our child when those feelings passed. In this episode Janet celebrates YOUR illuminating, inspiring stories, and she's exceedingly grateful to you for allowing her to share them. 

Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.

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Crying, Screaming, Resisting, Sadness - Your Best Responses to Kids' Emotions

Janet addresses messages from parents who are feeling defeated and helpless in the face of their kids' persistently uncooperative, annoying and, in one case, hurtful behavior. All of these parents admit they are struggling, and that the approaches they've tried just don't seem to be working. 

"... I am constantly getting at my child, telling her 'No, stop that, not so close,' etc., and after a while I get incredibly frustrated as I just need my personal space." 

"My two year old has taken to saying "hate you!" literally 25 plus times a day." 

"I dread having to go anywhere on my own with [my sons] for fear that I will be overwhelmed by their energy and powerless to keep them in-bounds in a way that feels unruffled." 

Janet recommends an overall shift in these parents' approach that she believes will give them the confidence they need to help resolve their issues, and can be applied to almost every behavioral challenge parents face.

Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.

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See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Resolving Our Kids' Annoying Behaviors

A parent with 2 children, 4 and 1.5-years-old, writes to Janet feeling disappointed and concerned that he's letting his children down. This dad admits that he’s very sensitive to his both children’s emotions, especially if they’re upset. In order to deal with their typical, rambunctious behaviors, he’s attempted to set reasonable boundaries with consequences in terms of dressing, bathing, bedtime, roughhousing, etc. This "If you do that, then... " strategy was effective for a while, he says, but lately seems to have backfired because his four-year-old is now giving him ultimatums. The boy's behaviors have become more extreme, and in response the dad says he threatens unnatural consequences, which leads to tears, more guilt, and on and on. “I hate the whole cycle,” he says. “I hate feeling like I’ve let them down. I hate the feeling of being out of control. Mostly, I hate and fear the breaking of trust and the positive relationship that I have with him.” 

Janet offers her suggestions and encouragement. 

Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.

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If Consequences Aren't Working, Try This Instead

Janet consults with a distressed parent of two boys who feels stuck in a destructive pattern. She describes how she's struggling with feeling constantly irritated, overwhelmed, and just angry. “I love my kids more than anything,” she says, “but they’re driving me crazy.” Janet agrees with the mom that boundaries are a big part the issue and suggests a new approach for her to try. Surprisingly, the solution they come up with is not stricter enforcement, but just the opposite.

Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.

Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

I Don't Like My Kids, and That Breaks My Heart (A Parent Consultation)

In this encore episode, Janet’s daughters Charlotte and Madeline share candid memories from their childhoods and consider how Janet's respectful parenting style influenced their lives as toddlers, teens, and young adults. Using questions submitted to Janet's Facebook page as their guide, the sisters discuss intrinsic motivation, emotional health, independent play, sibling relationships, screen time and more.

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My Daughters Weigh In on Respectful Parenting (Encore)

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