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JLML Press

In the 25+ years Janet Lansbury has worked with children and parents, she's learned a lot. She's here to share it with you. Each episode of Unruffled addresses a reader's parenting issue through the lens of Janet's respectful parenting approach, consistently offering a perspective shift that ultimately frees parents of the need for scripts, strategies, tricks, and tactics.

Janet is a parenting author and consultant whose website (JanetLansbury.com) is visited by millions of readers annually. Her work informs, inspires, and supports caregivers of infants and toddlers across the globe, helping to create authentic relationships of respect, trust, and love.

Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse and JanetLansbury. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or wherever you buy your books. 

Featured in The New Yorker, recommended 'Best Parenting Podcast' by The Washington Post, The New York Times, USA Today, The Cut, Fatherly, Today's Parent, and many, many more.

Please note: This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. The views and advice presented on this podcast by Janet Lansbury and her guests are based on their training and experience. Opinions are offered in good faith but do not constitute professional, psychiatric, or medical advice, neither are they intended to be. You do not have to use this information, and it should not be substituted for qualified medical expertise.

Copyright JLML Press (2025) All Rights Reserved

Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled

Physician and author Gabor Maté joins Janet to discuss the importance of developing secure attachments with our kids and why it's crucial for us to continue nurturing these bonds into their adulthood. How do we remain our children's most trusted influences while also encouraging their natural drive toward individuation? Can we maintain our role as a primary attachment figure when our child is cared for by others? How do we help kids to develop healthy relationships with peers? What's the best way to handle exposure to digital media? Gabor addresses these questions among many others and offers suggestions for maintaining positive attachments throughout our kids’ lives.

Gabor is the author of 5 books and most recently the re-issued Hold on to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers, co-authored with Gordon Neufeld, with a new chapter about how the Covid pandemic affected kids' relationships with peers and parents.

Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.

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Dr. Gabor Maté on Why Parents Matter More Than Ever

Wouldn’t parenting be easier if our kids’ behavior was always stellar? Unfortunately, for most of us that isn't the case. It is during those difficult times especially, when our child is tired or hungry or angry (or their behavior just seems terrible and we're mystified as to what's gotten into them), that they need us to be their confident, empathic leader—a role that doesn't always come naturally. In this episode, Janet shares a shortlist of simple reminders for making setting limits with our kids feel more comfortable and organic. Because, as she says, we all deserve to feel successful! 

Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.

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5 Daily Discipline Reminders

Janet’s guest this week is Neha Ruch, a writer and speaker on parenting, women, work, and identity. Her personal journey from career through parenthood led her to question and ultimately reject society’s stereotypical view of the stay-at-home parent and its limitations, and instead celebrate the possibilities. Neha is the founder of Mother Untitled (.com), which seeks to reimagine parenthood as a pause or “downshift" and an opportunity to find our passions. Through Mother Untitled, Neha connects a growing community of like minded parents with resources geared to support and further their goals. Her new book, “The Power Pause: How to Plan a Career Break After Kids--and Come Back Stronger Than Ever” will be out in mid-January.

Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.

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Embrace the Privilege of Parenthood (With Neha Ruch)

In this encore episode, a mom is at her wit's end and describes a series of challenging family separations and transitions, including the birth of a sibling. Now one of her twins yells and screams from morning until night. The other twin is defiant and “is always telling me ‘no’ and doing things he knows he’s not supposed to be doing.” This mom says their behavior is so extreme she spends most of the day in tears, feeling like a failure, and then ends up yelling. She’s looking for Janet’s advice how she might deal with her twins’ behavior.

Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.

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Dear Parents: You Are Not Failing

Janet responds to a question from a caregiver who says the family she works for is interested in teaching their son ABC's and other lessons. The child is sometimes disinterested and refuses to participate, and she wonders: “Is there a respectful approach to teaching children?” Janet responds with an alternative perspective on early childhood learning that focuses on providing the best foundation possible for children to develop their innate abilities and a lifelong love of learning. This is an encore episode. 

Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.

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Be Careful What You Teach - It Might Interfere With What They Are Learning

Raising kids is a learning process, and (no doubt) there's a benefit to reflecting on the mistakes we make along the way. But Janet believes we can learn even more when we recognize and appreciate our successes, no matter how inconsequential they might seem to us as the time. Maybe it's the little bit of empathy we felt as we limited one of our child's bothersome behaviors. Or a momentary sense of confidence in ourselves as leaders rising above the fray. Or the realization that we could, just that once, let our child's feelings be without judging them, and then, the increased closeness we felt with our child when those feelings passed. In this episode Janet celebrates YOUR illuminating, inspiring stories, and she's exceedingly grateful to you for allowing her to share them. 

Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.

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Crying, Screaming, Resisting, Sadness - Your Best Responses to Kids' Emotions

Janet addresses messages from parents who are feeling defeated and helpless in the face of their kids' persistently uncooperative, annoying and, in one case, hurtful behavior. All of these parents admit they are struggling, and that the approaches they've tried just don't seem to be working. 

"... I am constantly getting at my child, telling her 'No, stop that, not so close,' etc., and after a while I get incredibly frustrated as I just need my personal space." 

"My two year old has taken to saying "hate you!" literally 25 plus times a day." 

"I dread having to go anywhere on my own with [my sons] for fear that I will be overwhelmed by their energy and powerless to keep them in-bounds in a way that feels unruffled." 

Janet recommends an overall shift in these parents' approach that she believes will give them the confidence they need to help resolve their issues, and can be applied to almost every behavioral challenge parents face.

Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.

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Resolving Our Kids' Annoying Behaviors

A parent with 2 children, 4 and 1.5-years-old, writes to Janet feeling disappointed and concerned that he's letting his children down. This dad admits that he’s very sensitive to his both children’s emotions, especially if they’re upset. In order to deal with their typical, rambunctious behaviors, he’s attempted to set reasonable boundaries with consequences in terms of dressing, bathing, bedtime, roughhousing, etc. This "If you do that, then... " strategy was effective for a while, he says, but lately seems to have backfired because his four-year-old is now giving him ultimatums. The boy's behaviors have become more extreme, and in response the dad says he threatens unnatural consequences, which leads to tears, more guilt, and on and on. “I hate the whole cycle,” he says. “I hate feeling like I’ve let them down. I hate the feeling of being out of control. Mostly, I hate and fear the breaking of trust and the positive relationship that I have with him.” 

Janet offers her suggestions and encouragement. 

Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.

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If Consequences Aren't Working, Try This Instead

Janet consults with a distressed parent of two boys who feels stuck in a destructive pattern. She describes how she's struggling with feeling constantly irritated, overwhelmed, and just angry. “I love my kids more than anything,” she says, “but they’re driving me crazy.” Janet agrees with the mom that boundaries are a big part the issue and suggests a new approach for her to try. Surprisingly, the solution they come up with is not stricter enforcement, but just the opposite.

Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.

Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers.

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I Don't Like My Kids, and That Breaks My Heart (A Parent Consultation)

Parenting and worry seem to go hand-in-hand. Because we care so much, we watch our kids closely and can tend to perceive their traits and behaviors in a needlessly negative, worrisome light. In this episode, Janet explains why traits like sensitivity, bossiness, a toddler's insistence on doing it himself, and another child's seemingly constant need for a parent's validation can all be seen (and approached far more effectively!) as strengths. 

Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.

Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers.

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Too Needy, Too Stubborn, Too Emotional, Too Bossy, Too...

Janet responds to a dad who’s feeling guilty for restraining his 3-year old daughter and forcibly brushing her teeth when she refused to do so herself. “I didn’t use hurtful force,” he writes, “but her protestations were so strong that I felt as if I was crossing a boundary.” This dad is wondering if there was another way he might have handled the situation.

For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on audio, FREE with a 30-day trial membership at Audible (adbl.co/2OBVztZ).

Also, her exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (SessionsAudio.com).

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Is It Ever Okay to Use Force with a Resistant Toddler?

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