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JLML Press

In the 25+ years Janet Lansbury has worked with children and parents, she's learned a lot. She's here to share it with you. Each episode of Unruffled addresses a reader's parenting issue through the lens of Janet's respectful parenting approach, consistently offering a perspective shift that ultimately frees parents of the need for scripts, strategies, tricks, and tactics.

Janet is a parenting author and consultant whose website (JanetLansbury.com) is visited by millions of readers annually. Her work informs, inspires, and supports caregivers of infants and toddlers across the globe, helping to create authentic relationships of respect, trust, and love.

Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse and JanetLansbury. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or wherever you buy your books.

Featured in The New Yorker, recommended 'Best Parenting Podcast' by The Washington Post, The New York Times, USA Today, The Cut, Fatherly, Today's Parent, and many, many more.

Please note: This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. The views and advice presented on this podcast by Janet Lansbury and her guests are based on their training and experience. Opinions are offered in good faith but do not constitute professional, psychiatric, or medical advice, neither are they intended to be. You do not have to use this information, and it should not be substituted for qualified medical expertise.

Copyright JLML Press (2026) All Rights Reserved

Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled

A mother writes that she's been struggling with her 5-year-old daughter lately, who's been "provoking and testing boundaries on a new level." She has been especially harsh on her two-year old sibling, but when this mom and her partner step in, it inevitably leads to confrontation, tears, and hurtful words. Janet suggests an empathic approach—understanding the "why" behind this behavior -- and explains when, why, and how her approach to setting effective limits works.

Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠NoBadKidsCourse.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠JanetLansbury.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

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Setting Boundaries Without Power Struggles

A parent describes her 4-year-old daughter as smart, funny, incredibly strong-willed, but sometimes “downright mean.” While she appreciates her child’s spirit and doesn’t want to stifle that, when she says mean things to her she doesn’t feel it’s enough to simply acknowledge her daughter’s emotions and let slide her hurtful words and behavior. “I need her to find a better way to express that she is angry with me,” she writes. In this encore episode, Janet offers a perspective on the situation that she believes will help this mom better understand her daughter’s unconscious motives and intent, and ultimately ameliorate the behavior.

Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠NoBadKidsCourse.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠JanetLansbury.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

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My Child Is So Mean to Me

Janet offers her advice for handling typical playground behaviors in preschool-aged children, such as physical aggression, bossiness, and shyness. Whether our child is exhibiting these behaviors or they're on the receiving end of another child's dysregulation, in this encore episode Janet shares how helping children to feel understood, protected, and supported encourages the most positive learning process.

Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠NoBadKidsCourse.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠JanetLansbury.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

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Navigating the Playground with a Child Who Seems Too Physical, Bossy, Huggy, or Shy

When a toddler throws his fork, tips over his bowl, and falls apart over the wrong-sized watermelon pieces — what is really going on? In this episode, Janet responds to a mom of a two-and-a-half-year-old 
with a new baby just weeks away who describes her son's throwing, hitting, and increasingly impossible-to-please demands. She writes, 
"This completely breaks my heart and really stresses me out." Janet shares the one simple but counterintuitive shift that can change almost everything. 

Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠NoBadKidsCourse.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠JanetLansbury.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

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It's Never About the Watermelon: What's Really Behind Your Child's Behavior (And What Actually Helps)

A parent describes the power struggles he and his partner go through with their daughter to get her to brush her teeth. The process has deteriorated into a wrestling match. While on the one hand, the parents feel it's their responsibility to make sure their toddler's teeth get brushed. On the other, they sense that they are damaging their relationship, perhaps permanently. This dad writes: "Part of me thinks a calm, confident leader just gets it done, but getting it done currently means two adults restraining a screaming, fighting child." Janet offers a different perspective on toothbrushing and other daily routines that emphasize cooperation over control. 

Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠NoBadKidsCourse.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠JanetLansbury.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

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How Forcing Kids to Do Stuff Backfires (And What to Do Instead)

In a previous 'Unruffled' episode, a parent reached out to Janet with concerns about her then 8-month-old son's play . "If I leave the room, he stands at the gate and screams and cries, even if he can see me and we are chatting." She wondered, "Should I work on doing some exposure therapy, so to speak, leaving the room for short periods of time.. ?" Janet suggested a more organic, relationship-centered approach, and then had a back and forth with this mom. Now, nearly two years later, the mom has written back with an update describing her learning curve and her process. 

Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠NoBadKidsCourse.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠JanetLansbury.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

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The Joy of a Self-Entertained Toddler (Yes, It's Possible!)

You may have heard Janet, other parents, or early childhood professionals speak about "RIE" (pronounced "rye"). Perhaps they described "RIE" as profound and life changing. Or maybe they outright panned it. They may have brought up elements that sounded odd or controversial or even ridiculous. You wondered what this was really all about. In this episode you'll hear RIE Executive Director Melani Ladygo and Janet respond thoroughly and passionately to the questions: What is RIE, and how does it help us as parents?

Find out more about RIE at: RIE.org

Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠NoBadKidsCourse.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠JanetLansbury.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

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Why Parents Need RIE (with Melani Ladygo)

A parent writes that she's become uncomfortable with the language she's using when setting limits with her daughter. She's using a lot of "if/then" ultimatums and doesn't like the suggestion of a threat. "I was an elementary school teacher for years before having children and am realizing I'm still recovering from all the behaviorism my teacher training instilled in me." She asks Janet "if there's another way you would suggest going about this." Janet recommends a simple adjustment this parent can make that's actually the key to her respectful parenting approach. 

Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠NoBadKidsCourse.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠JanetLansbury.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

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Finding Your Voice for Setting Limits

A parent feels devastated by recent behavior her 5-year-old daughter has picked up from her peers. She has tried speaking calmly to her about the issue, but this hasn't helped. Janet offers what she hopes is a beneficial perspective that may help ameliorate her daughter's behavior.

Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠NoBadKidsCourse.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠JanetLansbury.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

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Disturbing Things Kids Bring Home From School

A parent feels confused by her children's demands and wonders if her boundaries are too unclear. Another parent feels overwhelmed by her 4-year-old's emotional behavior at the preschool she opened at her home: "He's gotten increasingly unsafe, hitting, pushing, screaming, etc." She regrets she hasn't been able to be more trusting and acknowledges, "I know I'm putting an expectation on him that isn't fair." A third parent has been facing a series of personal hardships, and she worries that her sadness and anxiety are negatively affecting her child. Janet offers all three of these families what she believes is a helpful (though counterintuitive) healing path toward connection.

Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠NoBadKidsCourse.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠JanetLansbury.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

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Demands, Wild Behavior, and Parent Guilt

Trauma informed coaches Lavinia Brown and Andrew Lynn join Janet to discuss how they help parents identify triggers and heal wounds that are preventing them from being the parents they wish to be and otherwise negatively impact their daily lives. Andrew says: "Trauma robs you of the freedom to choose how you react." In this encore episode, Lavinia and Andrew describe some of the common signs of trauma and repressed emotions, how they recognized their own, and how their respective coaching practices enable parents to process these emotions by connecting with the needs of their inner child.

Reach Lavinia at ⁠LaviniaBrown.com⁠. Her Instagram is LaviniaBrownCoaching.

Reach Andrew at ⁠AndrewLynn.net⁠, or on Instagram at Andrew.g.Lynn.

Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at ⁠NoBadKidsCourse.com⁠ and ⁠JanetLansbury.com⁠.

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Becoming Untriggered (with Lavinia Brown and Andrew Lynn)

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